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OctSOBER - Getting/Staying Clean Thread

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I'm sorry, I didn't follow that. Close to which receptors shutting down?


Also, I fuckin hate talking to my mom. She just called and I told her about my plans for going back to school and moving out of the sober living house and things. Everything I said she had like 3 negative things to say, and starting talking about how I've had 4 years to figure this shit out since High School and it's like MOM WTF? I was using drugs that 4 years. I've only actually been trying for 4 months since rehab. WTF do you want me to do? Go back in time and not get addicted to drugs? Yeah I'd love that but it's not fucking happening. Christ she's so negative sometimes I hate it.
 
I was taking 6+ benadryl and 6+ valerian roots a night and I didn't sleep until day 10+ of my rehab, sooo.. GL. ;(
 
caseface99 said:
I'm sorry, I didn't follow that. Close to which receptors shutting down?


Also, I fuckin hate talking to my mom. She just called and I told her about my plans for going back to school and moving out of the sober living house and things. Everything I said she had like 3 negative things to say, and starting talking about how I've had 4 years to figure this shit out since High School and it's like MOM WTF? I was using drugs that 4 years. I've only actually been trying for 4 months since rehab. WTF do you want me to do? Go back in time and not get addicted to drugs? Yeah I'd love that but it's not fucking happening. Christ she's so negative sometimes I hate it.
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It really sucks when parents don't understand. I don't know the situation at all... But just as she doesn't understand your view on your situation and how you feel, you probably don't see her view or understand how she feels. Possibly try to see it from her perspective.

I'm not at all saying you're wrong I've just found from my own experiences that my parents did not understand me and it made us repel each other and we created barriers which made it impossible for us to see it from eachothers perspectives. We're still working on it but I am trying very hard to understand my parents concerns and I hope that they too are trying to understand my views and issues as well. I hope it works out for you two <3.


Lustmord said:
I was taking 6+ benadryl and 6+ valerian roots a night and I didn't sleep until day 10+ of my rehab, sooo.. GL. ;(
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It's only a finite amount of time until the balance begins to restore in the brain and you are able to sleep normally. Time.

<3
 
Thanks NSA. I mean yeah, maybe I need to look at things from her perspective. But I just hate the constant negativity. She never has anything positive to say, and it really brings me down.
 
caseface99 said:
I'm sorry, I didn't follow that. Close to which receptors shutting down?
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actually I was thinking about this and this will not be the situation.. There are opiat receptors which are turned on because of use.. after a time period these opiat receptors are retracted back into the cell membrane and we experience a significant reduction in things like sleep disturbance and many many other things.. the mind clears from the opiat fog that we have lived in cleares. I'm sorry when I brought this up I didn't remember the maintenance.. so I guess it will be something to look forward to.
 
^^ Oh yeah, I figured that's what it meant but wasn't sure. Yeah, maintenance. I think I had a shortlived "honeymoon period" with suboxone this time around since I've been on in for so long on the past. (3ish years on/off before this stint)


I'm kinda depressed about it right now actually. I want to be off of subs and totally clean, not just sober, but I'm terrified of it. Part of me wants to stay on subs forever, but another part of me knows I'm only 21 (22 in like 10 days!) years old and that's too young to be a lifer.
 
Thanks NSA, You're right. I need to stop future tripping. First things first, find somewhere to live outside the SLE and get my ass back into school.
 
Yep case.. just in the back of your mind keep it as something you will want to accomplish when the time is right.. ;)




Just so many amazing things being done by people on this thread.. here is to us all<3

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Loving all the pictures =D

stardust, an early and huge congrats on 2 months (I'm in a different time zone, it counts!) - that's amazing, so happy for you <3

Day 34 here! I can't believe I'm about to say this but my cravings have just completely disappeared in this past week or so...still lots of things I need to work on to get my life properly back on track but I never thought I'd miss drugs this little. Feels great :D
 
caseface99 said:
Day 159 coming to an end. :)


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Yes :)

Pagey said:
Loving all the pictures =D

stardust, an early and huge congrats on 2 months (I'm in a different time zone, it counts!) - that's amazing, so happy for you <3

Day 34 here! I can't believe I'm about to say this but my cravings have just completely disappeared in this past week or so...still lots of things I need to work on to get my life properly back on track but I never thought I'd miss drugs this little. Feels great :D
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Thanks Pagey love, Day 60!!!! =D.

So happy to hear you are in such a positive place with your cravings Pagey, 34 days is serious, I can see the reasoning behind why you are starting to feel better though ;).

ad lib said:
You're all doing so well <3
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How are you doing!? <3
 
btw, caseface, I totally go through the same thing with my mom ALL the time. it's like no matter how many times I try to explain to her that I'm not the same as a lot of other people my age and it took me a lot longer to figure out the whole being an adult thing, and no I actually DON'T regret it though I do wish it hadn't taken me so long either, what matters is I did finally get my shit together and I'm working on it now, when really I could be dead and isn't this a better alternative... and she SEEMS to listen... she always forgets and winds up judging the shit out of me for it again anyway. and it's incredibly discouraging to deal with someone doing that to you, especially someone so close to you (even more so in my case... I live with her -_-), while you're in early sobriety and having to literally relearn everything about just being a human fucking being from what feels like scratch a lot of the time.

so I get it. I'm sooo sorry you're dealing with that, it's frustrating as fuck, I know.

however there is definitely some truth in what was said about seeing things from her perspective. also, you don't HAVE to put up with it. you do have the right to walk away if someone is making you feel inferior/down about yourself. even if it's your own mother. that, and abusing the shit out of positive reinforcement during the conversation. it's hard and takes a lot of work when you're in the moment, but that just means counteracting every one of her negative statements with a positive one.

those things... sometimes all three combined lol... are the reason I've been able to cope (mostly, I've slipped before tho) living in this house.
 
Well I fucked up and ended up drinking last night. I feel like a big ball of shit, not to mention that still being depressed if not more depressed then I already was Friday and Saturday. The last place I wanna be is work right now.
 
^Go easy on yourself, relapse happens to most of us. Today is a new day and you can allow yourself the fresh start that you deserve.

ad lib said:
It just feels like I'm stuck in a nightmare.
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Things will even out for you soon, I know they will. <3
 
Yeah I know. I shouldn't have given in but I couldn't get it out of my head all weekend.

Still haven't done opiates since the 7th of October so I guess its 13 days or something like that.
 
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