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H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist
OctSOBER - Getting/Staying Clean Thread
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Pagey
Bluelight Crew
Congrats, babe!Definitely worthy of some celebration here!!
Today is my 55th Day. 5 more days and I have 2 months down pat!
Lets celebrate our days and our progress!!
Hahah that post was fantastic, made me chuckle. Thanks stardust, congrats on 55 days
I have really enjoyed seeing all that you have done and it started allot longer than a month ago.. really you should be so damn proud of yourself.. IMO you literally pulled away from the very brink.. you are amazing pagey
Thanks nsa
you've been really supportive and fantastic in helping me through all this and I can't thank you enough. Took me long enough but looks like I'm finally managing!Much love to everyone
spork
Bluelight Crew
^Proud of you Pagey, love.
Lustmord
Bluelighter
Day 12! I managed to sleep last night, waking up only once the entire night!
Since quitting H I was only sleeping 2-4 non-consecutive hours.
Since quitting H I was only sleeping 2-4 non-consecutive hours.
stardust.hero
Bluelight Crew
GenericName12
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2013
- Messages
- 192
Bad anxiety/stress today. Puked this morning. It was pretty weird. Haven't puked in a long long time.
Lustmord
Bluelighter
Awesome!!!
Day 56 for me!
Awesome right back at ya, may I never catch up!
stardust.hero
Bluelight Crew
caseface99
Bluelight Crew
Day 155 I believe. 
Hows it going guys and gals?!
I got a laptop today! Stoked to finally have my own computer again, and know that I wont be pawning it within a couple weeks!
I made the switch to OSX and got a macbook pro, I've always owned windows computers in the past, but I couldn't be happier after switching! Within hours I feel comfortable navigating an entirely new operating system, and it's quite clear that mac is WAY more efficient and user friendly.
Hows it going guys and gals?!
I got a laptop today! Stoked to finally have my own computer again, and know that I wont be pawning it within a couple weeks!
I made the switch to OSX and got a macbook pro, I've always owned windows computers in the past, but I couldn't be happier after switching! Within hours I feel comfortable navigating an entirely new operating system, and it's quite clear that mac is WAY more efficient and user friendly.
Very Nice.. Verry, Verry Nice to see you Mr Case
spork
Bluelight Crew
^+1
Lustmord
Bluelighter
Day 155 I believe.
Hows it going guys and gals?!
I got a laptop today! Stoked to finally have my own computer again, and know that I wont be pawning it within a couple weeks!
I made the switch to OSX and got a macbook pro, I've always owned windows computers in the past, but I couldn't be happier after switching! Within hours I feel comfortable navigating an entirely new operating system, and it's quite clear that mac is WAY more efficient and user friendly.
Day 13.
MBPs are awesome!
stardust.hero
Bluelight Crew
Very nice to see you Casey
Day 57 for me
Day 57 for me
caseface99
Bluelight Crew
It's nice to have regular access to the intrawebs again.
But yeah, so I'm still sober, a little bit more than 5 months now, the only thing is I'm kinda miserable. Most days it's a challenge just to find a reason for getting out of bed in the morning.
I finally found a job a couple weeks ago, but it didn't really work out. It was for a solar utility company basically, they install solar panels at no cost to the homeowner and charge for electricity instead of the panels. Except they don't advertise, so my job was door to door bullshit. Good pay, but difficult quotas. Didn't make it past the first week. I gave it my all so my boss said I could use them as a reference and she'd give me a really good recommendation. I was really stoked to have a job though because of all the time I've spent just sitting around bored since getting sober, so I'm bummed it didn't work out. Took me a couple months to find this job...
Plus I know I want to go back to school, but I'm starting from scratch with a GED and having not been in school in 4ish years. I'd really like to get a degree from a UC, but getting into one will be quite a challenge.
Also, I'm getting to the point where I want to move out of my sober living house, and feel like I'm ready, but can't decide where to go. My girlfriend lives in Santa Cruz right now cause she goes to UCSC, so I can decide if I should look for an apartment there to be closer to her or look for one around the east bay area where I am now. I don't really have any close friends here, I dropped all my friends from when I was using, so I don't have much keeping me here but I also don't wanna make a mistake. I'm conflicted on what to do, where to go, and how to proceed with my life and its causing a tremendous amount of anxiety.
I feel like I used for so long during a part of my life when I was supposed to grow, develop, and move on in multiple different ways and now it's a bitch trying to figure it all out.
I'm stayin sober though, because I know I'll never figure any of it out if I'm using. So keeping my sober date is still the most important thing to me right now, but I feel stagnant like I'm not progressing at all and it needs to change.
But yeah, so I'm still sober, a little bit more than 5 months now, the only thing is I'm kinda miserable. Most days it's a challenge just to find a reason for getting out of bed in the morning.
I finally found a job a couple weeks ago, but it didn't really work out. It was for a solar utility company basically, they install solar panels at no cost to the homeowner and charge for electricity instead of the panels. Except they don't advertise, so my job was door to door bullshit. Good pay, but difficult quotas. Didn't make it past the first week. I gave it my all so my boss said I could use them as a reference and she'd give me a really good recommendation. I was really stoked to have a job though because of all the time I've spent just sitting around bored since getting sober, so I'm bummed it didn't work out. Took me a couple months to find this job...
Plus I know I want to go back to school, but I'm starting from scratch with a GED and having not been in school in 4ish years. I'd really like to get a degree from a UC, but getting into one will be quite a challenge.
Also, I'm getting to the point where I want to move out of my sober living house, and feel like I'm ready, but can't decide where to go. My girlfriend lives in Santa Cruz right now cause she goes to UCSC, so I can decide if I should look for an apartment there to be closer to her or look for one around the east bay area where I am now. I don't really have any close friends here, I dropped all my friends from when I was using, so I don't have much keeping me here but I also don't wanna make a mistake. I'm conflicted on what to do, where to go, and how to proceed with my life and its causing a tremendous amount of anxiety.
I feel like I used for so long during a part of my life when I was supposed to grow, develop, and move on in multiple different ways and now it's a bitch trying to figure it all out.
I'm stayin sober though, because I know I'll never figure any of it out if I'm using. So keeping my sober date is still the most important thing to me right now, but I feel stagnant like I'm not progressing at all and it needs to change.
xburtonchic
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 17, 2011
- Messages
- 1,004
I've decided I'm going to give this whole getting clean thing another try. I will stay on this forum all day every day if I have to. But whatever dark hole I've managed to dig myself into, I'm not going to dig myself out of it by using. I've pretty much accepted the fact that I am in a fragile state of mind right now and I just need to be selfish again for a while, not worry about anything but myself. I'm doing my best to avoid any emotional triggers... I've been really depressed lately and I'm not doing myself any favors by reminding myself of what I've lost/what I don't have/etc. I need to give myself a break right now.
Tomorrow is day one for me again... not looking forward to it. But I feel my mental strength/will/whatever you want to call it returning, so that's good, and I'm determined to get it right this time. I just need to remember to think positively and to not dwell on things.
Tomorrow is day one for me again... not looking forward to it. But I feel my mental strength/will/whatever you want to call it returning, so that's good, and I'm determined to get it right this time. I just need to remember to think positively and to not dwell on things.
Pagey
Bluelight Crew
It looks like you're definitely looking at this the right way xburtonchic, best of luck
Day 32
Day 32
smokemctoke420
Bluelighter
Today is day 11 no opiates and day 7 no alcohol.
Feelsgoodman
Feelsgoodman
Just A Guy
Bluelight Crew
Day 60. Wouldn't have done it without you guys and gals. Thanks.
Lustmord
Bluelighter
14 is it? :D
^Two weeks Lustmord.. I think you will begin to feel better and better and better.. and in a hop skip and a jump you will feel great.. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!
Burt once more into the breach girl.. you will do it
.. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!! Burt once more into the breach girl.. you will do it
WOW JAG.. sixty days.. that is amazing right there
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