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Neversick November - Getting/Staying Clean Thread

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CONGRADULATIONS !!!!

STARDUST.HERO
:):D=D8o8(<3


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I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU STAR.. WAY TO GO!!

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I am still trying to kick booze and its been a ride. In the beginning I was a bit manic and over optimistic about everything. This shit is a process. I got to not loose patience with myself. Doesn't help that its so fucking cold out in November. However when its hot out thats a good excuse to drink. I got tons of excuses. I just had a kind of turning point early to day I think. Time will tell the turning point is coming. When I come home and turn on the TV before or even instead of grabbing a beer. That will be the real turning point. And I'm willing to ride the emotional roller coaster that comes with shedding an addiction.
 
weekend addiction said:
I am still trying to kick booze and its been a ride. In the beginning I was a bit manic and over optimistic about everything. This shit is a process. I got to not loose patience with myself. Doesn't help that its so fucking cold out in November. However when its hot out thats a good excuse to drink. I got tons of excuses. I just had a kind of turning point early to day I think. Time will tell the turning point is coming. When I come home and turn on the TV before or even instead of grabbing a beer. That will be the real turning point. And I'm willing to ride the emotional roller coaster that comes with shedding an addiction.
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Boredom and solitude are the worst when trying to fight addiction. Have any other activities interested you, ones that pull you outdoors? Even something as simple as a long walk.
 
modelskinny said:
Boredom and solitude are the worst when trying to fight addiction. Have any other activities interested you, ones that pull you outdoors? Even something as simple as a long walk.
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I am not at all interested in outdoors in November. It is so cold I would almost be willing to move to Mexico instead.
 
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Good morning never sick. I'm going in to do my double. I was blessed with good friends and a second job. I've been having the opiate itch lately. I'm glad for subutex. It makes those cravings easy to beat.
 
manboychef said:
Good morning never sick. I'm going in to do my double. I was blessed with good friends and a second job. I've been having the opiate itch lately. I'm glad for subutex. It makes those cravings easy to beat.
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damn kitchen shift doubles. at least they keep you busy. if i remember correctly you were doing pretty bad off shooting dope. good job at what your doing now. keep it up.

neversickanymore said:
Damn good to see ya MBC.. yeah nothing but hell left there.. glad to hear the good news about the friends and job.. when you going to open the restaurant? ;)
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yeah it is hrll and idk why i decide to drag myself back :(

well, i changed my number after i relapsed sunday night- tuesday morning. i gave it to this one kid i work with at the golf course and will be working with next year cuz hes gonna need my number eventually anyways. he smokes weed and fuc ks with opiates sometimes but its not a problem. anyways, this other kid, the one that got me dope on sunday got my number from the kid and called me up. i ended up getting 8 bags. well, i called the b oy who gave my # out without my permission and asked him if he did it and why he did it. he did tell the truth so i wasnt as mad and the fact that i only had 1.5 days clean anyways. he said he thought i just changed it cuz i got a new phone, not cuz i didt want the one kid that he gave my umber to to have it and he apologized. so im gonna change my number again this sunday.

i talked to my counselor yesterday about my relapse, how i cant piss with another dude supervising me and how it gives me so much anxiety its not worth it to stay in the program. she said we could do a couple unsupervised ones where she gives me the test so she will leave the room. i also asked ab out other tests and told her i would be willing to pay for a blood test and have it there the day its due. she said she is gonna ask the board and try to get that approved or make it so i can take a cotton swab test that more expensive but would be much less anxiety for me, if any at all.

since i relapsed and then couldnt piss this week she is making me go to an extra few NA/AA meetings, and so i wouldnt have any dirty urines for opiates on my record she excused me for the test. i did do 2 bags a little bit ago but tommorrow morning im hopping on subs again, which im extremly low on till probaly the 2nd of december when my sister gets a refill. i also be able to pass my piss test or whatever test i take next week.

i get on the suboxone program and get my first dose thats from the doctor on 12/11 so i cant wait to start. my 2nd group starts on monday as well. i talked to her about my weed use asd how i havent been smoking much cuz i thought i would have to stop or ill get in trouble. she said my levels are supposed to decrease tho since ive had 2 piss tests now. but until i actually start recieving my subs from the doctor that i can smoke for the next 3 weeks when i get it but i have to still try to break the habit but i wont get in trouble. im happy for that. maybe if i can just blaze for the next 3 weeks and try to stay away from alcohol, as well as dope.

i got my unemployment of $225 a week on my debit card yesterday which is how i got the dope, plus i get paid fro the sub shop every friday in cash. well i gave up my unemployment card to my mom so all that money is getting saved for a car. i gotta get back on the right track and thats a big step. im also gonna go back to journaling now as well cuz that was really helping. so much shit going through my head right now.
 
Man, last holidays.. I said I really didn't want to spend another Thanksgiving/Christmas strung out... looks like history is going to repeat itself again.

Where do the days go? The years go? Time is just a blur and before you know it, you realize you're doing the exact same thing you were last year and the years before.
 
Mr.Scagnattie said:
Man, last holidays.. I said I really didn't want to spend another Thanksgiving/Christmas strung out... looks like history is going to repeat itself again.

Where do the days go? The years go? Time is just a blur and before you know it, you realize you're doing the exact same thing you were last year and the years before.
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That's too true... It's not hard to lose years with opiate abuse.
It's such a motherfucker.
But, man. You got this. C'mon now, there's a lot if us in the ship riding out the super storms and sunny days a like. One thing for sure... When you stay in the boat, you survive. You sail to calmer waters and beautiful shorelines. The longer you stay on the boat, the better you get at navigating through the rough spots. You learn to anchor in shallow waters and face the sun.
 
@weekend addiction, kicking booze is a hella shitty ride indeed. It's good to be overoptimistic at times, I've found it helps propel you further as you begin to lose steam when things get though. Don't lose your patience, it will all be worth it <3. You will get to the point of being able to switch on the telly and not have to grab a beer. Just stay positive and believe in yourself. <3. Try to make one day. So you can proudly post that you did it. Even if it's just for that one day. I know it's easy to say "just do one day" because when that day comes down to it, it's fuckin hard--but try man <3. It's worth it.

@modelskinny, boredom and solitude definitely doesn't help :(. How is work going for you? How is your beautiful dog? I'm sorry I forget if it's a he or she, but either way you have him. I always have my little guys when I'm feeling lonely. Take your pup for a long walk somewhere new.

@smokemctoke420, glad to hear you're taking positive steps to remove people from your phone. Also very happy to hear you start your sub program, subs are a godsend for people at times, I really hope they help push you through it and over to the other side <3. Keep us updated. Count your days, from the day you start your subs. Even though you're taking a medication doesn't mean you aren't actively working on sobriety. Those are days <3.

@Mr.Scagnattie, I always wonder where the days go as well. For me I just passed my 3 month mark of getting off etizolam--I am still on benzos directed by a doctor as I'm tapering off but it really doesn't feel like it's been 3 months. Don't get disappointed this is another year to remember being strung out. In the end it won't matter, you'll be clean, sober and happy <3. Keep your head up. Try to start as soon as possible or the new year as a fresh year to really try.

luckygirl79 said:
That's too true... It's not hard to lose years with opiate abuse.
It's such a motherfucker.
But, man. You got this. C'mon now, there's a lot if us in the ship riding out the super storms and sunny days a like. One thing for sure... When you stay in the boat, you survive. You sail to calmer waters and beautiful shorelines. The longer you stay on the boat, the better you get at navigating through the rough spots. You learn to anchor in shallow waters and face the sun.
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Beautifully said love <3.

Today is Day 93 for me :) approaching 100 is fun! Just like approaching 3 months was fun :).

Keep it up guys <3!!! Lets end our month happy and moving in a positive direction!
 
^hah exactly, as corny as it sounds it's a hella good new years resolution and definitely something awesome to do. And hell, nobody counts the days they go without soda, or chips, or mc donalds, but you get to count your days for your New Years resolution. For everything shitty that it is, at least you have the pleasure of counting and proudly showing off your days, because everyone here knows and appreciates how hard it is and is very proud and supportive of you for doing it. :). It provides so much satisfaction.

Hella cool resolution! Promise yourself <3. It's something to look forward to, not something to feel disappointment over. It's a fresh start, be happy you are ready to embrace it. <3
 
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