Dude- I just saw your post man. I know we have chatted a bit together and its more the science really that keeps you interested, same as me. Face it, its going to be crap pretty much no matter what we clean it with.
I am down here at the beach house man. Hitting therapy every other day. It's all mental. They actually give a little vial of maybe a line or two when you get depressed for the first days. It's softened up. Then, get this. For the last three days that I took it for the first week, Guess what? It was not even blow man. That disconnected me right away. Your an analytical dude, so think about it like that and it will help you ride out the storm. Fuck man, honestly. The good stuff is gone, its all crap now.
And here we are handing over money, in street corners and houses, baring everything, our family, friends, and TIME. Time we can't get back, because we couldn't eat, or we are tired. Irritable. The face in the mirror has more wrinkles and lines. Bags under the eyes. Just give us a corner to ourselves with some lines and its all we need. And if we keep going...its all we will fucking have Le Junk.
I can't believe where I was headed, hell where I went in three years time. Days and days of that shit. Using it like a crutch. It's been three weeks, and two clean. Your letting a punk powder, that hell is not even really good anymore own you. We can chase all day long the high of the 80's but its gone the way of high top reeboks and parachute pants!
God, if I was home right now and didn't have these weeks behind me, and still railing I would be in my office with a pile, checking out the net and then the sun would be coming up. The time I wasted, people I hurt, etc. No need to be ashamed, that's nowhere. You did it, now let's kick this pig and make your woman proud moni.
Dude-get in touch with me. You can come down here and crash at the house, the island is nice, good fishing and support. And yes, my girl is down here too right by me..
Spiff