MDPVagrant said:
^^^^^^^ Just wanted to recommend this one final time, i.e. first get away for a while (at least), then get rid of all one's sources.
People never pay much attention when I recommend this stuff, then seem shocked when they "relapse" within days/weeks.
IMO if all a person's got is "be strong brother" posts to guide them... bend over & kiss your arse goodbye. Coke is very addictive, and while it's easily obtainable the situation is almost hopeless (although I'm looking for answers, in the form of designing a "program" to get control back).
Look at it this way: If a person's been addicted for years, it's likely they've tried quitting before. What's different about this time? Just wanting to quit a little more badly? I hate to say this, but that path can be followed all the way through utter desperation and hopelessness, right down into the grave. Addiction involves loss of control, and if a person had it they probably wouldn't have used this long.
IMO/IME: Do something very different this time, or don't bother, it's too painful playing this game over & over & over again forever.
+1. Great advice. Insightful observations. I don't know you personally MDPV, but I would gather we both share a lot of common experiences.
You are right when you say that words of encouragement and "just wanting to quit" won't get you there.
If you have tried, and failed, (as I had many times in the past) then you must truly and decisively determine what is different about this time, as you suggest.
The insanity of addiction is that we keep doing the same things over and over, and each time we expect different results. To succeed, you must do things different.
LJ is getting a good start by asking for help and advice. Learning to take direction and follow that advice is the next step. W/r/t "getting away", I couldn't agree with you more. If LJ has a good job, and enough money to support the coke habit he has, then getting away shouldn't be a problem. A 28 day rehab program is one option, taking a month off to go camping in the Canadian woods with his wife might be another idea.
Getting rid of ones sources is a bigger problem. Despite the fact that I haven't "made that call" in nearly 15 months, my dealer's cellphone # is so etched on my brain that he would have to change it (not likely) for me to lose the ability to reach out if I wanted to. Perhaps the best option, in that respect is to initiate a "geographical" as they call it in AA. A change of scenery has a secondary benefit too; you don't start thinking about coke each time you visit a place where you used to use; in LJ's case, the home office.
A small piece of advice that I can add to what you have already written is this: learn to separate your feelings from your actions. When cravings come, and they will (3-4 weeks seemed to be the magic number for me as well), you need to be able to step back and recognize that those feeling are the "coke talking" and that they will do everything to pull you back in, convincing you that you can "do it one more time" and "make the cravings go away". Bullshit. Once you realize that those feelings are normal, and accept that you need not act on them, or beat yourself up for having them, then you are on the path to recovery.
LJ - you don't have to let cocaine run your life any longer. There is hope. There is a way out.
If I write any longer, no one will bother reading this, so, signing off for now . . .
FC