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My girlfriend doesn't want to do anal..HELP!!!

Two_in_the_pink said:
My girlfriend of almost 2 years is a little gun shy when it comes to the bunghole. Any suggestions?
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Anal actually HURTS some people dude!
If you're really that hell-bent on getting her to agree to it, then just ask her to try it once. And if she really doesn't like it or if it hurts her then let it go mate.
If she's into drugs, there are some that can loosen everything up and make it easier to penetrate. Namely MDMA, LSD, BZP, 2c-b (these are the ones I've experienced, I'm sure there are many MANY more).
 
Dragynfyr said:
That's horrible! guess the enema wasn't the best idea after all..
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No, it was pretty terrible. Part of the reason was that after I thought I had gotten all of the water out we went right to it pretty quickly and I guess there was more then was expected. Oopsie.


These days the occasional anal excursion doesn't usually get messy.

But that first time...that was just embarrassing :(
 
my girlfriend was the same way, both of us actually thought it wasnt something we would not like to do, but then oe night while high on MDMA and having crazy sex she stopped and sprung it on me and when i asked why she would want to do it she said she just wanted to please me in all ways she could and when I thought about doing anal it sounded very hot, and thats how we got started on the topic of anal

im in no way saying "drug her and try and convince her" what im saying is we were high and talking honestly without being emaberrassed. shes probably against it becuase she thinks its gross or scared of it being painfull, either way you need to respect. just keep bringing it up every so often and eventually she will get more at ease with the idea.
 
toa$t said:
who said anything about being gay???!!! my point was just to illustrate to two in the pink that it's reasonable for his gf not to want a cock in her ass. I just thought two in the pink should consider it from the other end (pun absolutely intended). I doubt that most virgin gay dudes go around thinking about how good a huge cock in their ass is going to feel, and are probably pretty nervous about the first time.

so for the record: I don't think sticking stuff (other than cocks, if you are a guy) in your ass makes you gay, and so what if it does?!

sheesh!
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My only suggestions for you is:

1. Respect her decision to not want to do anal and deal with it.

2. Let her fuck you with a strap on, so that it's mutual. If that sound unappealing to you, then it sounds reasonable that having your dick in her ass sounds unappealing for her.
 
syyth007 said:
Most females are led to believe it's dirty/hurts/other bullshit..
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Umm, it can hurt. It can hurt really bad. How often do you take it up the ass?

That said there was a really good thread about this a while back. Enjoying anal takes practice but I think it's worth it. It can produce phenomenal orgasms. Do a search for the thread, it's got some really good tips.
 
this thread makes me sing to my self....Akinelye, but slightly differen.....

"Put it in her buuuuuuuuttt! in her mutha fuckin buuuuuuu-uuuuttt!"

=D

that is all
 
randycaver said:
if she refuses, what else is she going to refuse to do down the line? there should never be any outright refusal with regards to sex. leave her.
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Are you serious? People are still individuals within their relationships. You need to respect that she doesn't want it, period. Be happy you're getting any.
 
DigitalDuality said:
I'll make exceptions though within reason, scat, watersports, anything illegal, bloodplay, any thing dangerous, etc.. I hope no one thinks this is just a male to female perspective either, the door should go both ways.
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what exactly is it that makes your exceptions 'within reason' but 2 in the pink's girlfriend's exceptions aren't 'within reason'?

edit: illegal/dangerous I can understand, but the others?
 
n3ophy7e said:
If she's into drugs, there are some that can loosen everything up and make it easier to penetrate. Namely MDMA, LSD, BZP, 2c-b (these are the ones I've experienced, I'm sure there are many MANY more).
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Oh my god, getting ass-fucked on ACID??? WTF?? hehe this would guarantee a very strange trip indeed...

As for fingering, I am a small female, I like anal and find it doesn't hurt if done correctly by a not-too-eager guy who knows how to take his time, but I get nothing from a finger up there. So it's not always a rule to go by (guess I only get off it if it's quite deep inside).

As for accidents... I'd recommend using a condom for anal even if you usually don't, it can be more hygienic. And yes, it can a be very special and intimate thing, but only if your s/o is ready and willing! good luck ;)
 
GenericMind said:
I think most people would agree anal sex is much more reasonable than being pissed on.
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so the fact that most people agree that it is more reasonable makes it more reasonable? hmm... not sure about that one.

second, the question isn't about which is more reasonable, but about where to draw the line between reasonable and unreasonable. I am 100% with you that anal sex is a more reasonable (whatever that means) request than pissing on someone, but that isn't really relevant to whether one is a reasonable request and the other isn't (other than the transitivity involved).
 
Two_in_the_pink said:
My girlfriend of almost 2 years is a little gun shy when it comes to the bunghole. Any suggestions?
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I mean, she probably doesn't want to shit on you. Or get fucked in the ass. 'Cause that shit would hurt, man.
 
from wikipedia:
The reasonable person standard is often used legal term that originated in the development of the common law. The "reasonable person" is a legal fiction which represents a reasoned outlook on a legal question. The perspective of the reasonable man is intentionally distinct from that of an "average" person; contrary to popular misconception, the reasonable man is not necessarily average. The question of how a reasonable person might act, or what judgments they might make under the circumstances performs a critical role in legal reasoning in areas such as negligence, contract law, and criminal law. For example, the crime of sexual harassment is deemed to have occurred in some legal jurisdictions when the conduct is unwelcome and when a reasonable person would have considered such conduct sexual.

actually, reasonability is best defined according to an objective standard which ties in closely with rationality, also an objective concept. I would be happy to provide more reputable sources if necessary but I don't have access to them right now. reasonability actually has nothing to do with the majority opinion, and that is certainly not the way it has been defined for "thousands of years." I've read your posts (GenericMind), and you seem pretty smart. I think you should be able to see a difference between reasonability and the opinion of the majority

GenericMind said:
Anal sex isn't really that taboo anymore. Watersports is. That appears to be where the line is drawn.
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this is really a different way of making the same point. what makes it taboo is that the majority haven't come to accept it. but the majority doesn't really have anything to do with what is reasonable.
 
Ok...normally I'm very negative just due to personal experience but I'll tell you what my bf is attempting to do to make me more comfortable with the issue.

1. He has promised to be very gentle.
(If he isn't, its not gonna happen)
2. He would be wise and I believe plans to arouse me and warm me up in other ways as well
3. The above feeds into a comfortable initmate setting that is needed
4. Lubrication...you must.
5. We have opted for a small toy just to try to get me used to it a bit before jumping into it.

Now, thats what you can TRY...I guess I could let you know how things go, but I'm sure no one really cares that much lol
 
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