My Boyfriend hates my body

[RiseGurl]

Hes never said he loves me the way I am...

Im a size 12
Around 165cm Tall
Between 65-67kgs
For my height im not overweight.

I recently just lost 4kgs, I did put on some weight over Xmas and prolly due to the fact that I was happy in a r/ship.

I go to the gym a few times a week doing high cardio classes and just started doing weights, which i aim to do 2wice a week.

Ive never had any problems picking up men, Im not exactally toned and hot like the steretypes say you have to be but I dont think Im bad either, I think I could be a lot worse and I have been previously!

I love the way I am, and I love the way my boyfriend is even if he did put on 5-10kgs I would still love him cause of who he is.

Today he said to me " To be brutally honest, Im not happy with your body "

How am I suppose to feel? What would you say/do if u were me?

Im a little confused, I think if you love someone you accept the way they are, sure, if he thinks I need work, well hey! Im all for a little encouragement " Wow you have done great babe and I love the way you are but i support u keeping fit and continuing it, I think its good for u and ur health ".

Am I over reacting? Im sure there is a wrong and right way to treat someone you love... especially on a topic as sensative as this one.

 

[muzby]

Im a size 12
Around 165cm Tall
Between 65-67kgs

sounds fine to me...

dont let it get to you....

your body is merely the vehicle in which you carry around the person you are...

what i would say if i were you is put it back on him, if he says "i'm not happy with your body" say back "what exactly would you want to change"

this puts the ball in his court. if he cant give you an answer, he has no right criticising you...



it sounds very superficial, if you love someone, you shouldnt care what they look like.... good luck and chin up... dont let someone put you down after you have done hard work to lose your weight..

 

[SandraDeee]

^ Being a fellow female i can strongly say that it is impossible to not let something like that get to you.

That was very lousy of your boyfriend to say ....hasnt he heard of the work 'TACT'....

If someone ever said that to me, id question whether i should be with that person and if they are suitable for me.

I can just image how crap you felt when he said that.

My advice would be to talk to him about it and express how much it hurt u when he said that. I bet you'll have a complex now.

 

[Annapurna1]

if it was me..i would tell him to fuck off ...BTW..im a little bigger than you..and my b/f..and my g/f..like me the just way i am...so that guy doesnt sound like someone that you should be trying to impress...

 

[KiSsMYAsS]

I definitely agree with you RiseGurl! Your BF should support you all the way, and should love you just the way you are. But maybe that's his way of motivating you? That's a bit wrong though! If anything he should be happy that your putting effort into looking fit, so you can drop his ass! If he keeps acting like an asshole, you should drop his ass! Maybe find someone who will appreciate you for who you are, and not for what you look like!!

 

[Crashed Out]

Tell your boyfirend where to go.

Since becoming single ive noticed that a lot of women seem happy to let blokes walk all over them. It baffles me.

 

[muzby]

ive noticed that a lot of women seem happy to let blokes walk all over them. It baffles me.

join the club.

i am forever having D&Ms with a lot of my female friends, who are having major problems with their boyfriends.....

when i raise the possibility that they leave them and either find someone else or enjoy being single...

they always say they dont want to, cause they love them...

i'm sorry, but if someone loves you back, they wouldnt hurt you...


you are in a relationship now, you can get in one again... dont just hang onto what you have got because you are familiar with it....

 

[WarmRushes]

I'd tell him to fuck off pesonally.

 

[Shnouzerpuff]

Men are stimulated visually.
That is why Playboy is such a big seller, and Playgirl's main readership base is gay men.

He is being honest and open as opposed to bottling his feelings in and getting resentful.

Now you can either get angry at my post, do nothing and let this be a blight on the relationship - ending with you calling him a superficial asshole when he ends it.
Or you can use it as a motivating force to get a healther lifestlye and a sexier body.

Get him down to the gym with you. Post up in Steroid-Discussion forum about nutrition tips (even juicers know about good diet plans). If you both work at it you can be stronger and happier as a couple.

If you dont you are left with self-esteem issues, and an ex who was being honest.

 

[smart-e]

Maybe hes insecure about his body. I mean thats not an excuse to act like a jerk but I find alot of men put women down so they can feel better about themselves. I think you should stand up to him and tell him that what he said hurt you.

 

[NickyJ]

I'd tell him to fuck off pesonally.

I couldn't agree more, except for the spelling mistake

But yeah, tell him to get fucked. How could someone say something like that to their gf? I couldn't imagine ever doing something like that myself, especially considering your dimensions.

 

[SandraDeee]

If you dont you are left with self-esteem issues, and an ex who was being honest.

Yes but there is a way of being honest with tact, as i have already stated.

If he is so unhappy with your body, tell him to fuck off and find someone he will be happy with. You wll only be insecure now while you are with him.... no matter how fit etc you get, it will always still play on your mind.

Ive had a similar thing happen to me. I used to be content with myself... i trained at the gym, got lots of attention from guys etc etc. Till one day my boyfriend told me that i was out of proportion. That my bum looked like it was toon big for my body. Mind you i was only a small size 12 to size 10.... so i wasnt that big. But i freaked out and hit the gym... toned up, got really fit. But it didnt matter how good i was looking, it stil played onh my mind what he said. And i was still convinced i had a big ass.

I finally broke it off with him and felt better for it. Though ofcourse after the breakup he told me how beautiful he thought i was and that i was perfect... but it was too late.

I still train, alot harder now. I run for about 40-50 mins a day aswell as do weights, and i eat well too.. (i dont diet!!) and i am even fitter than back then. I look better too.... and have more confidence because of it. BUT what he said still haunts me to this day. People will tell me till they are blue in the face that i am gorgeous and have a great body.... but i just remember the things that have been said to me in the past and they make me feel sad. Its not just that comment that upsets me still.... other things that have been said and done that hurt my self asteem tend to come back.

But then again, i guess thats what keeps me going to the gym.... :/

So what im saying is that some of us chicks are pretty sensitive. Its completely fine to be honest! But not brutally honest. Get what i mean?

Thanks.

 

[dyscotopia]

yes, the correct phrasing is: "keep at it. you're looking better every day."

i had an awesome girl who was very interested in me. she was sexy but very out-of-shape though. she'd breath heavily walking up a hill. i had trouble getting over that... i'm just hardwired to find anyone more than a little less toned or who weighs more than me not sexually stimulating. i can still find them attractive.

he's just saying he wants to be more sexually attracted to you. but he's still an oaf..

 

[exarkann]

remember... physical attraction is a very important part of a successful relationship... while i think you look fine (from your gallery pics) he may be loosing physical attraction, but care about you enough to give you a chance... granted, he could have been more tactful about it...


but then again this is coming from me, in my relationship we have agreed that if one of us becomes unattractive to the other, a notice is given, and a 90 day grace period is begun..
after the 90 days, if the party in question has not put forth any effort to look better, the relationship is terminated...

we both agree that no matter how much we love one another, we are not going to be with someone who is unattractive....

 

[*sunflower*]

Have you gained heaps of weight since you met him?

If you look more or less the same he should get over himself. I agree you need to be attracted to people to continue a relationship but if you haven't changed physically, you need to ask him why he went out with you in the first place.

Let's face it, when a chick tries to change a guy its a huge drama. Changing people almost never works - it causes resentment and insecurity. That said, I think people should exercise and eat healthy food, not just because it makes you look good but it makes you feel good also but do it for yourself, not for anyone else.

You're a pretty girl - as you say, men have found you attractive before and they will again. Don't spend your youth feeling bad about yourself - be happy!

 

[Trubble]

Tell him his dick is too small.

Really, if he thinks he can be unhappy with ur body you point out some things that are wrong with his

Seriously tho, he should love you the way you are.

 

[doofqueen]

I'd tell him to fuck off pesonally.

So would i! Fuck! It's hard enough being a woman in this society and constantly struggled with being the right weight and size and what not. I'm a size bigger then you and about 10kgs heavier and i've lost 40kgs in the last four years. I'm not 'slim' but fuck i never will be but i was a cow before lol so i'm pleased with how i look (mostly...we all have our little issues) . I have big tits, round hips and a small waist with a little budda belly and i'm fine with that. Curves rock anyway All you need to worry about is how YOU feel about yourself.

but yeah tell him his dick is too small. They really hate that *evil grin*

 

[RiseGurl]

Thanks guys you all rock

Firstly to afew comments, I am actually either the same or just abit smaller than i was when i first met him... So the attraction shouldnt have changed...

exarkann : I hate to tell you, at the end of the day when ur old and grey with ur partner, everything goes south and attraction wont matter anymore, so if attraction is the main basis of ur r/ship, its not gonna last forever, so, id rather focus on the things that are very important and one being having great converstaions with your partner and having a fantastic time partying and enjoying life... which is something myself and my b/f do alot of!

Anyway, ive been thinking, I shouldnt let this get me down, I shouldnt need his approval although it would mean the world to me because he apart of my life 24/7 and I feel that you need positive things like this to improve ur self esteem cause face it once ur in a r/ship its very easy to start doubting urself cause ur not going out and flirting or picking up people so you lose alot of ur confidence and thats only natural.

I have to live with this body, not him, so who is he to question or complain. This body seems to give him a shit load of pleasure , and I dont doubt it for ONE second its the best pleasure hes experienced!

So, my conclusion after all your helpful and words... THANKS GUYS its nice to get some support and reassurance from somewhere cause i cant seem to get any from him...

Anyway my conclusion is.. Fuck it, I know in my own heart and mind that I am always bettering myself. Coming from the girl who never exercised until 3-4 years ago, The girl who used to smoke 2 packs of ciggys a week, The girl who was size 16 very overweight and unhappy.... I know ive done well, and if he wants to complain about my body... he can fuck off and find some dumb hoe with a perfect body and no brains, hes never gonna find another girl like me.

 

[onesandzeros]

Today he said to me " To be brutally honest, Im not happy with your body "

"Happy with it"?!

What the fuck, are you being marked out of ten or something? He doesn't deserve your time. That's really pissed me off!

 

[onesandzeros]

if he wants to complain about my body... he can fuck off and find some dumb hoe with a perfect body and no brains, hes never gonna find another girl like me.

:D