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Miscellaneous Rants Part V

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Ok... this was last weeks news. I always intended to put it in this thread but never got around to it.

Anyhow.

I'm on the train and some drunk fuck gets on. All goes well, a few stations passed....

Right. Train stops. Door opens. Drunk fuck asks 2 awfully innocent (and young) girls "Is there anywhere around here I can take a piss?" Keep in mind we're still 'inside' the train. The poor girls seemed rather shocked. Imagine it... some random dude just come up to you on a train and advertises he needs to pee. The girls look back and forth at each other (I think they could tell how drunk were scared he might pee on them) and shook their heads.

GET THIS. The drunk fuck starts to unzip his fly, with the intention of pissing out the open door, while 'still' inside the carriage.

Umm... sorry fuck head but where do you think that piss is gonna fly when the doors shut in 5, 4, 3, 2... *breathes sigh of relief* The doors beat him!

He looks around nervously for a while... and then he targets ME. argh. He walks up to me and says "where are you getting off?". I'm thinking 'well that's none of your business fool' so stare at him dumbfoundedly instead of answering. So he starts to guess "Are you getting off at Sunshine?" So I reply "no". He says "oh, so you're getting off at St. Albans?" to which I reply "no" again. Seriously, I didn't want to encourage these chats. He was standing RIGHT infront of me doing a little dance coz he needed to pee so bad. He then says to me "I really need to take a leek". I reply "I can tell - why don't you just sit down somewhere?".

I think he got the message. He did a cross legged walk over to the doors and leaned himself against them. THEN IT HAPPENED. A wet patch started to darken his jeans. At least no-one else was in immediate danger!

The train stops, he jumps out, unzips his fly and pee's all over the platform, blocking people from getting off. You should have seen this poor mothers horror as she had to 'guide' her walking 2 year old around him. Understandable.

Well the carriage at this point has exploded in laughter - ok, so everyone was trying to keep it to themselves but I triggered the chain reaction. The doors beep... the laughter increases some more as we think we've rid this dude

No. Wrong.

He taps at the door and the driver must have picked up on it. So he's in. Mind you, we're all still hysterical and drunk fuck seems oblivious as he 'checks out' the mess he made on his jeans (not discreetly at all, mind you).

It's over, right? No more drama for this train trip? Incorrect again. Drunk fuck pulls out his mobile phone and has a loud conversation with a chick he'd met ONCE (you could tell by the way they spoke). He wanted her to pick him up from the station so they could go out drinking some more. As in RIGHT AWAY. Fortunately (for her sake) she declined him... but I couldn't believe that he was gonna put the poor girl through that without getting a change of pants. In her car too. Ewww.

Could you imagine meeting your date (from what I gathered they hadn't even fucked), to find they were walking around in urine stained pants? Fuck me. I'll be dammed.

Unfuckingbelievable.
 
that's pretty fucken funny krc.

(from what I gathered they hadn't even fucked)
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pretty sure she'd be pissed (haha get it =D) whether they'd fucked or not.

what a freak. where's your priorities man!!
 
the fucking latest telstra ad for imode

it is played ad nauseum on channel 10 and i don't even watch tv at all (read: only for idol or if someone else is watching it and i happen to be there)
it is the one that goes

"i like i like i like i like i like you veeeerrrryyyyyyyy much"

the voice is SO FUCKING ANNOYING it seriously makes me want to scrape nails down the inside of my cheeks to distract myself from the sound.

:X:X:X

(and yes i do mute it but if it's on and i'm somewhere else i can't really....and it seems to crop up just when you walk out of muting distance :X:X:X)
 
i cant stand the long intro sequences for sport on tv, flashy lights, crappy music (typically some sort of power ballad), slow motion replays of some dude pumping his fist, fast editing and then in the case of the footy some dude doing a voice over and spouting some crap like its some monumental showdown of epic proportions! for whose benefit are these ridiculously long opening sequences? i mean, is it really going to encourage some people to stay and watch just cos of some flashy lights and fast editiing? pisses me off (as you may have noticed)

while i am on sport, i was recently watching an essendon game on free to air tv in perth, it was a sunday afternoon and in the second quarter they come on and say 'due to scheduling clashes we have to skip ahead 15 minutes' and suddenly its just abouthalf time. not happy cos being an essendon fan in perth means you rarely get to see them play on free to air. but it gets worse, it comes to half tme and they do the full 10 min long half time analysis complete with stupid graphs and figures and inane comments by various experts. its outrageous, they skip 15 minutes of play but include 10 mins of stupid half time dribble, if you add up the intro sequence plus the break at quarter and three quarter time, then remove it all from the broadcast then we would have been able to see all of the game! (it wasnt done to put the game 'insync' ie make it live, the game was already done)

i just cant understand the reasoning, do they think viewers are more interested in analysis etc than actual play? makes me furious, in fact i am getting mad just thinking about it! i need a drink...
 
I was told today that my head gasket is totally fucked, and i need to replace my entire engine.
He [mechanic] can do that for the low low price of 2.2 thousand dollars. which makes me more then broke. Im going to be in debt.
gay.

I have 2 exams and a group oral report on tomorow. None of which i have started, know what they are on or care about.

My friends are all out late night shopping/drinking, and they want me to come... and drive them. And i have to give a lift to someone i really hate.
And that would mean borrowing my parents car.

let me recap -
Drive around a bunch of drunk people, with someone i really hate, in a car i dont like to drive, when im fucking broke.

Right about now i want to take about a dozen xanax bars and just sleep until all my problems are over :(
 
lok1 said:
I was told today that my head gasket is totally fucked, and i need to replace my entire engine.
He [mechanic] can do that for the low low price of 2.2 thousand dollars. which makes me more then broke. Im going to be in debt.
gay.
Click to expand...

yup, basically when your head gasket's fucked, you're fucked.

Happened to me both times with my two shit boxes of cars during uni. Why is it, when you can least afford repairs, and you can only afford the shittiest cars, that constantly you NEED repairs... to the tune of thousands of dollars.... but when you're working full time and cashed up enough to afford a decent ride, your car only needs a $100 tune up once every two years? It's fucking wrong, I tells ya! It's all back the front!
 
dear valued customer,
if you are waiting for me to sell you cigarettes,

do. not. tap. coins. on. the. counter.

this fucking gets on my nerves and as a consequence i will serve every other person i can before you just to piss you off.

yours sincerely, jo.
 
People on their FUCKING MOBILE PHONES AT THE MOVIES.

What the HELL is so damn important that you just HAVE to take that call? Turn the phone on fucking silent. Or Get Out.
 
my stupid car is stupid.

My lovely big reliabele beast of a berlina is fucked.

My dad was goingto buy me a little car, to economise on petrol, and so i can drive a manual 'cause it's more fun. But now, mum decides that the big white beast of a car (which i do like) is better - 'cause it's safe and reliable, and if i crash i won't get as hurt as i would in a little car.

These are all good points - but when my car is in the shop for the second time in just over a week - i tend to question the reliability of my beast.


Apparently there's a hole in the bit that holds my power steering fluid stuff - so if i dont't fill it up every time i drive it, it has all leaked out and my baby makes this horrific growling/rubbing/painful noise, it's hard to steer and sometimes smoke comes out the right hand side of my bonnet.

SO now i have to not have a car for two days whilst they fix the leak.

AND I COULD HAVE HAD A LITTLE CAR WHICH USES A QUARTER OF THE PETROL, AND WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN IN THE SHOP TWICE ALREADY!!!
 
To the weird man who tried to con me while I was supervising the information desk.

If there is a person on the library system with your name, your address and your birthday: it is you. I don't care if you tell me that you lost your wallet and reported it to the police and that maybe someone signed up with your identification.You see, the catch is, that you told me that the only form of id in your wallet with your name and address on it was your centrelink card- which as far as I can recall does not have your birthdate on it. Hence- how does the library system know your exact birthdate?

The person who is not you yet has the same address and birthday has 19 way way overdue books and the card is blocked.

If you had not run away while I was photocopying your application to send to the library manager I would have told you that I would not grant you another library card.

sincerely,
non gullible, nazi librarian.

ps: your crazy arm tattoos reminded me of that not so far away day in August when it was ME, yes me who originally signed you up you lying moron.
 
^haha that's gold.

again on the fuck i hate you stupid customers line that i'm always on...

i fucking hate when people (usually christians of some description) try to push religion on me when i'm working. i'm putting their groceries through and they pass me a print out of some piece of scripture or a prayer or something and tell me that jesus loves me.

i really really resent the fact that because i'm expected to be polite and curteous at all times i'm not in the position to tell these people what i really think about them trying to thrust their beliefs upon me. if they came up to me on the street and tried to preach to me, it wouldn't bother me half as much because i'd be able to tell them that i'm not interested in hearing what they have to say and i could move on. but noooo, i have to stand there and be polite and smile and wish them a nice day.

the funny thing is that when you get to the bottom of it, i probably believe in a lot of the same things as them, i can just see that religion is something people have to find for themselves, you can't convert someone by giving them a bit of paper in the line at the checkout.
 
BloSs0m said:
Apparently there's a hole in the bit that holds my power steering fluid stuff - so if i dont't fill it up every time i drive it, it has all leaked out and my baby makes this horrific growling/rubbing/painful noise, it's hard to steer and sometimes smoke comes out the right hand side of my bonnet.
Click to expand...

That happened to my Magna. Had to have the whole gearbox and drive shaft replaced = ~$4000 :(

I wish my mum wouldn't leave her mobile on silent when she's in a meeting. I don't know why she does it - she doesn't answer even if I call her 8 times, so it's not as if she's leaving it on in case of emergency. And then she forgets to turn it off silent, so she doesn't answer even when she's not in a meeting. It drives me mad. Last month alone she spent $150 just having her phone redirected to her voicemail because she never bloody picks up!

I NEED TO TALK TO YOUUUUU MUMMMMMMMM PICK UP THE PHONEEEEEEEE!
 
Yeah, my mum never turns her mobile on either. I say to her, "Mum. The reason you have a mobile is so that you're contactable ." Sheesh.

Do you have her work number? call that.

Okay, now I have to think of something to frown about. Um; dishes. Fuck I hate dishes.
 
Strawberry_lovemuffin said:
Yeah, my mum never turns her mobile on either. I say to her, "Mum. The reason you have a mobile is so that you're contactable ." Sheesh.
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OMG

Mobiles and families.

Okay, I have one sister and one brother, both several years older than me.

I love my brother, but he's not the most responsible person in the world. He wouldn't have the first clue how to react if some stranger called him out of the blue and told him they'd found me unconscious hit by a car somewhere.

Conversely, my sister is very switched on to it when it comes to looking after details in a crisis, but she never answers her phone and doesn't have voicemail!!!!!AAARGH!!!!!!

It is my destiny to have a pauper's funeral, I swear.... 8(
 
Shnouzerpuff said:
People on their FUCKING MOBILE PHONES AT THE MOVIES.

What the HELL is so damn important that you just HAVE to take that call? Turn the phone on fucking silent. Or Get Out.
Click to expand...


Stupid fuckers :X


I hate stickers that leave crap behind when you attempt to remove them from CD covers.

That is all.
 
Strawberry_lovemuffin said:
Yeah, my mum never turns her mobile on either. I say to her, "Mum. The reason you have a mobile is so that you're contactable ." Sheesh.

Do you have her work number? call that.
Click to expand...

hehe, because it diverts to her mobile which she never answers!

She did call me back sometime after 9 last night. I called her at just after 11 in the morning. Eesh.
 
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