Methadone, Bupe and gasp Codeine!

[Christ!]

That sounds exactly like me, i guess my family will have to put up with it. Today so far ive been able to not get angry, easier now my meds have kicked in and im feeling much less sick. Mum hasnt bitches at me today either which is helping

Yeah I agree with everything that opiates can make people really angry/spiteful (including me sometimes) It's funny because you don't really notice what a arsehole you were at the time, or don't really care.

On methadone it's tricky because you can end up a really angry person while you're on it. Other opiate users are only a angry after they've taken their dose, but methadone is all the time.

On the other hand many of the methadone users I know (not all) must have adjusted to this effect long ago and are friendly, easy going people who manage stress reasonably well.


I can't say what's making you sick, but as someone else mentioned if you aren't getting any other withdrawal effects it's probably nausea from the methadone. You've never had full agonists in large doses before. Increasing your dose is a REALLY bad idea I think.

I would try and give it another week or two? Just keep in mind methadone doesn't provide it's nice effects consistently when you're taking it every day, it loses that 'magic' quick. You shouldn't be feeling sick though....hrmmm.

 

[SpiritFolk]

Yeh I find opiates can make you really grumpy, touchy, and rude impatient mood but I find that is usually when you had a had a dose that has not quite hit the sweet spot, and although ur high to a degree and and definitley not hanging or in withdrawals. This for ususally comes when the habit starts creeping in.

For instance if get on opies and don't at some point drift into a nice nod then the experience wasn 't successful.

Also while i was on decent but not too high methdone dose (35 - 50 mg or 7 to 10 mls) mg I would get a nice calm kick follwed buy a nod especially when potentiated with beloved Ganja and Vodka. When I went up high doeses I was just zombie as the dose would hold too well until the next day and there was not huge kick it effect, as I was saturated in the shit. Fuck you can lose 5 years in 5 minutes on that shit.

Anyways I did the get grumpy I don't give a shit asshole attitude when I tapered down to get on bupe.

Still glad I'm not tied down to that any maintenance program anymore. I love sex and being a horny motherfucker too much to be using heavy opiates daily. I would rather cum regulary every day!!

 

[opi8]

That's gotta be one of the worst side effects I have from opiate use, my libido has completely diminished and I used to be very sexually active. Now I need to wait 'til I'm in withdrawals to have any chance of sexual activity with my partner. The pisser is she's usually not up for it on the rare occasion I've intentionally skipped a dose so I've put myself through discomfort for no real reason.

I guess wanting to and being able to fuck whenever you want again is a pretty good motivation to quit, as well as the whole fucking up your entire life thing.

 

[Stiffeno]

Well i dont have a gf anymore and i dont go out clubbing to pick up, so sex is a non-issue for me. When i was with my last gf we must have had sex 3 times in the last year, she just never wanted it...and sometimes she would "give in" when she didnt want it just to try satisfy me, but when i KNOW the chick isnt into it, i cant enjoy it (or even finish) so its a waste of time!

 

[Stiffeno]

Last night i tried a couple of i think it is Voltaren for my back, or a similar kinda thing and my god i got sick beyond belief! It does say on the back to avoid taking them if you have an ulcer so the fact that i got sick within 5mins suggests i might indeed have one!

 

[Stiffeno]

I seen my case worker yesterday in the morning and in the arvo i had an appointment with my doctor, i went and seen my case worker and was hoping i could see my doctor early saves me having to go back a few hours later...but sadly the doctor wasn't even gunna arrive till 2pm. When i got home i got a call from my case worker stating that my script is already renewed till Jan 19th or so, so i didn't need to come back that arvo to see the doctor, unless i wanted to discuss my sickness with the doctor again in hopes that he would alter my dose. I told her that i wont bother coming in again coz i know the doctor wont alter the dose, so why bother lol.

Anyway i went in today to get my dose, as i added water to the syrup the staff goes "You know your script allows for you to go up right?"....and im like "What? since when?"...apparently that meeting on Thursday concluded that i was allowed to go up in dose. I am allowed 5mg increase per week for 4 weeks, up to a maximum of 65mg after a month....today i moved to 50mg. I couldn't believe it when they said it...

Im going to try extremely hard to give this dose a go, i do not want to go up and up for the sake of increasing....I just hope my subconscious doesn't get in the way of that!

 

[Christ!]

Are you still feeling sick?

Maybe you should have an appt. with your doctor to notify him of that.

I guess you're happy with what you've got though and probably don't want to risk him changing it.

Hope 50mg does the trick for you. Keep us posted.

 

[Stiffeno]

Are you still feeling sick?

Maybe you should have an appt. with your doctor to notify him of that.

I guess you're happy with what you've got though and probably don't want to risk him changing it.

Hope 50mg does the trick for you. Keep us posted.

At 50mg i seem to be getting less sick, but in the mornings my back has been playing up something shocking, but after my dose kicks in it takes away most of the pain...it makes it bareable. I dont wanna talk to my doctor just yet coz if he for some reason thinks my dose is too HIGH and is causing my sickness he might lower it, and then ill be in a living hell! Its a bit too early to tell if the 50mg will do or not, ill give it at least a week and if its still not right, well ive always got the option for 55mg next Friday.

 

[Stiffeno]

Today my dose was increased by 5mg but i have a feeling i wasn't able to benefit from it due to what happened. Normally when they give me the cup of Methadone i put water in it, as you're meant to....and then i drink it down in 2 gulps. Well i was feeling a little sick and as i swallowed, there must have been too much water because i choked on it and my eyes were watering and everything (you know how the drink goes down the wrong hole >.<), and a couple drops fell out my nose :S, so that 5mg increase is probably in my nostrils >.<. When i breath i can still feel it a little!

Edit: Tomorrow i will be way more careful, dont wanna risk wasting even 1mg of my dose!

 

[SpiritFolk]

I seen my case worker yesterday in the morning and in the arvo i had an appointment with my doctor, i went and seen my case worker and was hoping i could see my doctor early saves me having to go back a few hours later...but sadly the doctor wasn't even gunna arrive till 2pm. When i got home i got a call from my case worker stating that my script is already renewed till Jan 19th or so, so i didn't need to come back that arvo to see the doctor, unless i wanted to discuss my sickness with the doctor again in hopes that he would alter my dose. I told her that i wont bother coming in again coz i know the doctor wont alter the dose, so why bother lol.

Anyway i went in today to get my dose, as i added water to the syrup the staff goes "You know your script allows for you to go up right?"....and im like "What? since when?"...apparently that meeting on Thursday concluded that i was allowed to go up in dose. I am allowed 5mg increase per week for 4 weeks, up to a maximum of 65mg after a month....today i moved to 50mg. I couldn't believe it when they said it...

Im going to try extremely hard to give this dose a go, i do not want to go up and up for the sake of increasing....I just hope my subconscious doesn't get in the way of that!

Dude they will let you go up as high as you want on that shit, thats how they fuckin get ya, seriously man. You can lose a few years in blink of an eye on that shit imho. Get ur life stable for as long as you need and then taper off that stuff as soon as you can, and hit a rehab (even if just for a month or as long as you want).

Lost 4 years to the clinic...

 

[Crankinit]

Dude they will let you go up as high as you want on that shit, thats how they fuckin get ya, seriously man. You can lose a few years in blink of an eye on that shit imho. Get ur life stable for as long as you need and then taper off that stuff as soon as you can, and hit a rehab (even if just for a month or as long as you want).

Lost 4 years to the clinic...

Tapering is all very well, but it won't do him any good if he goes back to suffering chronic pain once he's off the opiates.

Sometimes they're just the only thing that works well enough.

 

[SpiritFolk]

yes u are correct crankit, methadone for chronic pain is better than eating a shit load of codeine and apap, and its sad that Stiffeno can't get anything better from the doctor.

I was more referring to how they will encourage you to up ur dose at anytime which is hard not cause lets face it for the first few days can get u higher on nod/whatever and to be careful of not falling into the trap of being a done zombie for four years like i was, like I said on high doses I basically lost four good years of life.

But I didn't have severe chronic pain (just a regular junky), so I understand the tough sitution Stiffeno is in.

 

[Stiffeno]

Yeah my doctor told me a few weeks back that he doesn't want me on this stuff for life, and that he is willing to supply me for 6-12 months. The problem is i dont see how thats gunna be possible to get off that early, coz each morning when i wake up my back is killing me, and thats just the pain BEFORE i get a chance to have my dose, i cant imagine waking up and having nothing...the pain would be unbelievable =/. Even after seeing a pain clinic i cant see how its going to cure me, ive had it so long....

But you are 100% correct about the pain situation, its not just the codeine that was the problem, it was and always has been the chronic pain...and the Methadone has been taking the edge off considerably, and i dont see anything else that could work as well. And yeah if i was on pain killers, i would need to take so many to get an effect from it, where as the methadone i can take a reasonable dose and get good effect from it...that and i dont need to worry about ever not having money for pills (coz i get Methadone for free - save petrol money or public transport fares), or finding a doctor willing to supply me...or even finding a chemist willing to deal out pack after pack of various pills. The Methadone (while a hard drug and probably not great to be hooked on) is MUCH more manageable then popping 50 pills a day. I just need to show up at the clinic, drink down a small cup of Methadone and im done for the day...no crushing up 45 pills, drinking it down....gagging from the taste and then panicking because i have no pills nor cash for the next day.

Edit: And while i was on the codeine, i was taking so much that i couldnt keep up with my needs, and in the end it wasnt even helping much with the pain, i just took the stuff to not get sick as a dog. Plus it would only have been a matter of time before i damaged my liver or got stomach ulcers (i think i have 1 ulcer now).

 

[Crankinit]

Best way to change their mind about the 6 - 12 months thing is to show that it's helping you. Don't just say 'yeah my pain is better' but make positive lifestyle changes that show that you're better on the methadone than off. Whether it's moving out, getting a job, enrolling in some kind of study or career course, or just getting in shape, make it obvious to them that methadone is helping your pain problem and making your life better.

If you just cruise along on the methadone and live the same lifestyle (and it sounds like yours needs changing, not that I'm one to talk), then they'll feel that the program isn't helping you and all they're doing is adding an addiction to your problems. Not saying you should push yourself to do this stuff straight away, but over the next few months, consider what you wanna change in your life and start moving towards it.

 

[Stiffeno]

Best way to change their mind about the 6 - 12 months thing is to show that it's helping you. Don't just say 'yeah my pain is better' but make positive lifestyle changes that show that you're better on the methadone than off. Whether it's moving out, getting a job, enrolling in some kind of study or career course, or just getting in shape, make it obvious to them that methadone is helping your pain problem and making your life better.

If you just cruise along on the methadone and live the same lifestyle (and it sounds like yours needs changing, not that I'm one to talk), then they'll feel that the program isn't helping you and all they're doing is adding an addiction to your problems. Not saying you should push yourself to do this stuff straight away, but over the next few months, consider what you wanna change in your life and start moving towards it.

Well i am planning to go back to TAFE when courses open next year, probably doing a computer hardware course or something...hopefully my issues dont get in the way of that coz i 100% intend to do it! Last time i was at TAFE i quit coz the stress of the Math's module was having a bad effect on me. But i dont thnk the computer repair or building will have secondary modules that im not capable of doing.

See in school i was always good at maths, but when i was kicked out in year 9...well i never used math since. But when i was doing my software programming course there was a module which was advanced math, the coding was fine but i struggled badly with the math because it was stuff you learn in year 12...which i didnt get to! So i stopped going to the meth classes and just went to the coding (i also skipped another part where you had to work in groups with others and had to give presentations and stuff - the thought of public speaking frightens me!). Anyway not going to those secondary modules caused me to not complete the course =/. Im hoping the computer building and repair is JUST that, and no public speaking or math.

 

[Mr Blonde]

^ Many courses of varying levels require public speaking at some point. Online correspondence is an exception, I'm sure there are other in-class courses where there is little to no public speaking involved, even group presentations. I think that trying to solve the public speaking issue may be a good idea, and could do wonders for your self-confidence which will help not only with study but also your social and personal life. I always wanted to perform music live at least once, but was paralyzed with anxiety and performance fright. With help from a psychologist though, I eventually managed to confront this issue and though I was nervous as hell the first time I played music before an audience, and it wasn't anywhere near the level I could play, I still got a rush from the experience and went on to keep performing live whenever I could. Now I'm a lot more confident, and it's not only made me a better musician but has also improved my confidence a great deal in other areas of my life; in many ways I'm a very different person now to what I was then.

Probably the greatest result is that I had the confidence to perform with my brother at my mother's wedding recently; even though my essential tremor has gotten a lot worse and my stress levels had gone up since quitting benzos, I still managed to tap into that confidence and I was so happy that for their special day, I was able to express how I felt in a meaningful way in front of a large crowd of people.

I hear you on the maths, that and mental health issues really affected me at high school. I went from one of the top students to one of the worst and somehow (I don't remember details due to a manic episode) managed to scrape my way back to an average result. I have a very hard time comprehending numbers; basic counting, multiplication and sometimes division I can do but anything over that the numbers are meaningless... it gets even worse with algebra. I had to put in a lot of effort just to get the basics I needed to start getting back into chemistry and pharmacology. It was very hard, and I still despise maths and am terrible at it, but I knew I had to do something otherwise I'd never even begin to set off for my goals.

 

[Stiffeno]

Public speaking has always been an issue for me, even back in primary school when giving speeches at assembly's. I havent had to do public speaking in years so i dunno if my Avanza or Methadone would help with confidence...

Thanks for posting your story though .

Oh and Merry Christmas to all :D, i gave my son a $69 Buzz Lightyear toy, its like THE BEST Buzz toy you can buy, he LOVES IT!!! He has hardly put it down for 2mins lol. His mother (my ex-gf) got him the Woody toy also from the set so it goes well with it. I will probably get him the Evil Zurg toy from the set for his bday...which is on the 2nd of Jan lol, lucky boy with Xmas then Bday so close together!...Bad for my wallet though hehe

Edit: While in year 5 i had to give a speech in class about ancient Egypt and the Pyramids, i was okay at first but after a few mins into taking questions from the class i suddenly got light headed, i lost my hearing (probably from blood rushing out of my head), i went pale in the face and nearly passed out....i quickly said "Sorry no more questions" and quickly sat down!

 

[Christ!]

Merry christmas to you also mate. Some acquaintances of mine who are pretty heavy on the opiates didn't have any money to buy their daughter anything this year...was so sad and ended up going shopping and getting a few things...probably cost 30 bucks all up but she was so stoked with what she got

Great post by Mr blonde as usual.

Public speaking has got to be one of the most common fears among people I think...almost everyone I speak to about it seems to find the thought terrifying. I just straight up avoided doing speeches in class...or ended up making a joke out of them and getting 0/20 from unimaginative teachers I'm much more confident now overall, so I think I'd be able to handle it ok. Managed to pass everything without it so far. Sometimes those memories of earlier struggled/troubling experiences seem to grow in our heads and imprint on our brain, I've found when I've challenged that stuff it's not nearly half as bad as I built it up to be....maybe the same for public speaking?

Some of my worst memories were maths class...being called up to the whiteboard to do simple multiplication. For some reason I could never memorize my times tables, probably something to do with my dyslexic/ADD/poor coding-working memory issues :D This one time my teacher called me up for the most simple sum and I just froze... couldn't work it out in my head and needed to use my fingers or some paper to quickly work it out, seemed like minutes went by in complete silence with everyone staring at me. Was pure terror and I dreaded maths class so much after that...Can look back on it and laugh now though No one remembered it, and no one really cared...

Your strategy of the 'sorry no more questions' was pretty clever Stiffeno

Anyway that's a bit of a rant. Had a couple beers and this is what happens to light weight christ. Have a good one brose/sisters

 

[opi8]

It's a pretty well known fact that the majority of people in this world would rather die than perform any kind of public speech.

I still hate it, but, like most things, if you just fucking do it, it gets easier every time. The reality is, people care more about themselves than they ever will about you, they really aren't thinking, analyising and judging you the way that you may think they are (and if they are, they're probably some kind of psycopath and best avoided anyway). That one lesson has helped my anxiety problems greatly.

 

[Anon54]

the perfect drug for u would be tramadol. it's a weak opiate like codeine & has also an antidepressant effect.
weird thing is here in australia it's as easy as panadeine forte to get. u just say ud rather tramadol than pandeine forte & it's actually a decent drug in the amounts they precribe.
I mean it's not as good as oxy but its as good as cwe
i just had 400mg of codeine. it's not very strong. u must have underlying pain problems & depression.
maybe try otc Phenergan (promethazine), the antihistamine to help u sleep. it's actually really a really strong sedative & weak antipsychotic. also helps with opiate itchess
sounds to me like want an opiate not to treat w/d but to treat anxiety/depression.
maybe try an antidepressant. id say try benzos but u'll probably chew them down like I do but still better than taking a heap of APAP u'r lucky u'r still OK.
atleast learn cwe ffs if u wanna later return to codeine. atleast do a quick filter but placing a hanky over a bowl, pour the mixed codeine/APAP over the hanky, wrap up the sides of the hanky & squeeze all the water out. that will get rid of most the APAP if u cant be bothered to then put it through a coffee filter u can get from coles

stop taking the nastly methadone. it'll just make ya feel sick (get some valium if u MUST take something cuz valium has little side effects in comparison) to help ya get off

btw u probably have somtach painby now & u should go to the dr & get some nexium (or another proton pump inhibitor). it's more effective than an antacid cuz it stops the production of acid rather than just nuturalizing it. it helps ya body naturally repair ya stomach & reduces any pain u may have & is whats prescribed to treat stomach ulcers which u may have.

good luck to u