Methadone, Bupe and gasp Codeine!

[Stiffeno]

the perfect drug for u would be tramadol. it's a weak opiate like codeine & has also an antidepressant effect.
weird thing is here in australia it's as easy as panadeine forte to get. u just say ud rather tramadol than pandeine forte & it's actually a decent drug in the amounts they precribe.
I mean it's not as good as oxy but its as good as cwe
i just had 400mg of codeine. it's not very strong. u must have underlying pain problems & depression.
maybe try otc Phenergan (promethazine), the antihistamine to help u sleep. it's actually really a really strong sedative & weak antipsychotic. also helps with opiate itchess
sounds to me like want an opiate not to treat w/d but to treat anxiety/depression.
maybe try an antidepressant. id say try benzos but u'll probably chew them down like I do but still better than taking a heap of APAP u'r lucky u'r still OK.
atleast learn cwe ffs if u wanna later return to codeine. atleast do a quick filter but placing a hanky over a bowl, pour the mixed codeine/APAP over the hanky, wrap up the sides of the hanky & squeeze all the water out. that will get rid of most the APAP if u cant be bothered to then put it through a coffee filter u can get from coles

stop taking the nastly methadone. it'll just make ya feel sick (get some valium if u MUST take something cuz valium has little side effects in comparison) to help ya get off

btw u probably have somtach painby now & u should go to the dr & get some nexium (or another proton pump inhibitor). it's more effective than an antacid cuz it stops the production of acid rather than just nuturalizing it. it helps ya body naturally repair ya stomach & reduces any pain u may have & is whats prescribed to treat stomach ulcers which u may have.

good luck to u

I have already been put onto an anti-depressant Avanza quite a few months ago now, it seems to work ok most times, but i do have days when i wish i had some benzo's or something to take the edge off...but i guess those are just the sresses of the way my life is, and cannot expect to take drugs to stop everything that goes on. The Avanza does work wonders for getting to sleep, but i forget to take it often coz if i take it too early i get really drowzy and cant function (i dont like that feeling when im wanting to do things, and simply cannot due to the tiredness)....so i try to take it as close to bedtime as possible, but then i forget to take it...or realize while im in bed and cant be bothered to get up to take it, and then get a drink to wash it down and so forth...just a pain!

Nearly every single night for the last 6-7 years i wake up in the middle of the night with horrifying nightmares....i dont know wtf is causing them but they are really bad! Every single night virtually without fail, its why i hate sleeping =/...and they arent just a typical single nightmare, i have what i call "Chain Nightmares", where multiple nightmares inter-link, giving the impression that the nightmare is over (and a new dream is starting) but then it will turn into a nightmare. I had a chain nightmare 6 levels deep one night, i kept waking up in the dream thinking i was awake. When i finally DID awaken for real, i walked into the pc room where my gf is (which had just happened in the dream) and i said "Am i still dreaming?" and JUST like she sais in the dream, she goes "Stephen, i think i would know if you were dreaming"....exactly what she had just said in my dream, i broke down in tears on the ground and started scratching my leg to the point of it bleeding trying to wake myself up!!! This was when i was still on codeine, so i grabbed and downed an entire 30 pack just to stop the panic.

Edit: Last nights nightmare actually started out like a non-nightmare. I was in some kinda amusement park, alone. I looked up at some kinda "control room" and i seen these 2 attractive girls. Anyways i walked away and met some random woman (i seemed to know her in the dream) and i said, "Who are those 2 girls over there laughing?" and pointed at them. And she goes "What girls?"...and as i turned around they kinda warped towards me and their faces turned into the most horrifying evil demon like things and scared the shit out of me!!! I ran towards the door but it auto slammed shut (i seemed to be inside somewhere now, it made sense in the dream =/) and as they got to me i woke up and sat up in bed with my heart racing =/

Offtopic: The most creepy nightmare i ever had was this one. My mother collects these dolls right - porcelain ones , and she sits them on her bed. In this nightmare i showed up at my house and i seen the curtain near the door move...but nobody was home. I went inside and looked in my mums room, sitting on her bed was one of her dolls (which she normally sits there), im standing near the door and the doll is facing forwards, as im looking at the doll its eyes dart sideways just for a second at me, then face back straight.....that freaked the SHIT out of me, and i suddenly woke up in a panic.

 

[Anon54]

it's the fucking mirtazepine man.
didnt u know that mirtazepine does that to alot of ppl who take it. I think it's listed as a side effect on wikipedia.
alot of ppl get lucid dreams from it.
mirtazepine is a sedative antihistamine but is also an anitdepressant & it feels like taking a stimulant mixed with a downer.
go to the dr & get some seroquel or zyprexa. u wont get any weird stuff happening with that. only take low doses though with the antipychotics unless u wanna feel groggy in the morning. i just take them for insomnia but only take low doses

 

[Stiffeno]

it's the fucking mirtazepine man.
didnt u know that mirtazepine does that to alot of ppl who take it. I think it's listed as a side effect on wikipedia.
alot of ppl get lucid dreams from it.
mirtazepine is a sedative antihistamine but is also an anitdepressant & it feels like taking a stimulant mixed with a downer.
go to the dr & get some seroquel or zyprexa. u wont get any weird stuff happening with that. only take low doses though with the antipychotics unless u wanna feel groggy in the morning. i just take them for insomnia but only take low doses

The thing is i had these dreams way before i was even on the Avanza =/

Edit: Reading wiki on the drug does indeed list Lucid dreams (which i get sometimes) and nightmares, while its probably not the cause im my situation since i had them before, but im sure it probably isnt helping =/. Its no wonder my fringe is going totally grey at 25, i wake in a panic every single night! I even quickly turn my tv on for a few mins coz im terrified of the dark (both after nightmares and before)!

 

[Anon54]

dont worry there alot ofppl around that suffer from the same kind of shit. ya not alone
i just popped a handful of temazepam which has barely done anything. had 400mg of codeine too this morning.
i get anxiety & everything too.
the mirtazepine will make ya dreaming worse so id try to change meds to a low dose antipsychotic still it will put ya in a deeper sleep where ya dont dream so much

to tell u the truth high dose opiates or very high doses of benzos or alcohol are the only things that help my anxiety unfortunetely so like i said ya not alone.

but im sure changing sleeping meds can help u

 

[Stiffeno]

dont worry there alot ofppl around that suffer from the same kind of shit. ya not alone
i just popped a handful of temazepam which has barely done anything. had 400mg of codeine too this morning.
i get anxiety & everything too.
the mirtazepine will make ya dreaming worse so id try to change meds to a low dose antipsychotic still it will put ya in a deeper sleep where ya dont dream so much

to tell u the truth high dose opiates or very high doses of benzos or alcohol are the only things that help my anxiety unfortunetely so like i said ya not alone.

but im sure changing sleeping meds can help u

I use to take OTC sleeping pills calls Restavit, the main chemical is that drowsy stuff in Mersyndol Night Strength. They work really well but I always got really groggy and tired the next day, like i hadnt slept at all...i couldn't really function like that so i stopped taking them!

The problem with taking Benzo's is they are very addictive too, and the withdrawal i heard is pretty bad....a lot of bone and skeletal pains involved, bone pain is the last thing i want with my bad back =/. Plus mixing Benzo's with Methadone, while apparently giving an awesome high (i heard, never done it before) is very deadly, it can suppress your breathing so much it can stop! Killing you in the process. So while i would like some Benzo's maybe once a week to take the edge off things, its probably not a good thing in my situation...as good as the high would be!

Edit: Also in your case you should know that Codeine itself actually causes Anxiety...though at the time it does help (i know, i was on it for 1.5 years at about 400-450mg a day) with anxiety, it ultimately is making it worse and worse!

 

[Anon54]

yeah i know, i know.
they make alcohol & tobacco legal though. codeine isnt as bad as having a few beers. i think it's a pretty clean drug without to bad a w/d.
u can get away with abusing benzos i rekon as long as ya dont dose every day

 

[Stiffeno]

I was looking over some pics of me with my son when he was a newborn, one pic was of me sitting on the pc holding my son...and the pc desk is covered in Mersyndol packs, at least 3-4 visible. I was under the impression i was on the codeine for 1.5 years, but my son is 3 years old in 2 days...which means i was on it closer to 2.5 years....my god

Edit: As for the codeine, i found the withdrawal too much to cope with, but my back pain was in full force too...which wasnt helping. The problem with taking codeine is its almost always mixed with a toxic substance like Paracetamol or Ibuprofen. The government knows ppl abuse opiots and yet they still add stuff into the mix that can shutdown someones liver. I know its not the governments fault if ppl abuse drugs...but them KNOWING that it does happen, should force them to at least make it harder for someone to OD on it, it seems like negligence to me.

Oh and ppl will say "Use CWE" to remove the deadly stuff, but many ppl (me included) didnt know of it, so how many ppl have died simply not knowing you CAN remove the bad stuff?

 

[Stiffeno]

Apart from the last 2 days in which ive been sick after me, my mother and my sister all caught an illness from my Grandfather....ive actually not been feeling all that sick! From time to time ill be a little iffy in the gut but last few days its been pretty good. Maybe the dose is working? or im gettin use to the Methadone or something. Its been heading on a week since i was last really ill, so i told the staff today that im feeling much better (i didnt wanna say anything earlier like last time where i got sick days later - maybe i jinxed myself?).

Only thing that is pissing me off now is today i noticed a coldsore on my lip, god they are annoying -_-. I been drowning it in Detol anti-septic cream to kill bacteria. While this cream isnt actually a proper coldsore cream like say Zovirax. Last time i used Zovirax on a really small coldsore, hoping to catch it early, it actually spread to my entire bottem lip....yes thats right, the cream made it worse then i had EVER gotten it before! But last time i had one i used this same Detol cream and it was gone in Sub-3 days....thats like a record for me! Maybe its the fact that the infection is drowned in anti-septic stuff it heals it?

 

[Christ!]

Edit: As for the codeine, i found the withdrawal too much to cope with, but my back pain was in full force too...which wasnt helping. The problem with taking codeine is its almost always mixed with a toxic substance like Paracetamol or Ibuprofen. The government knows ppl abuse opiots and yet they still add stuff into the mix that can shutdown someones liver. I know its not the governments fault if ppl abuse drugs...but them KNOWING that it does happen, should force them to at least make it harder for someone to OD on it, it seems like negligence to me.

Oh and ppl will say "Use CWE" to remove the deadly stuff, but many ppl (me included) didnt know of it, so how many ppl have died simply not knowing you CAN remove the bad stuff?

It's really hard to know how many people died from not knowing about CWE...some of the deaths might occur after they've stopped using for a long time, but mostly I think it'd just be noted down as a regular paracetamol or ibuprofen related death - which there are HEAPS. Pretty sad but even sadder that people overdose on these medications even without the codeine carrot dangling in front of them, just on straight up panadol/nurofen.

it seems like negligence to me

That's a tricky one but I see where you're coming from. The thing is the VAST majority of people use these medications without any problems, or addiction. The government could either make pure codeine preparations over the counter legal, which IMO would increase the number of addicts. Or they could ban codeine to prescription only. I don't think the government can guard us against everything, sometimes you just have to leave it because it's the best option, even if a small percentage end up screwing up their livers or with gastric ulcers. It's a bit like the government either building an entire new road next to the normal roads for people who drive dangerously, or getting rid of roads all together because some people die in car accidents. (lol not the best comparison I know)

I was looking over some pics of me with my son when he was a newborn, one pic was of me sitting on the pc holding my son...and the pc desk is covered in Mersyndol packs, at least 3-4 visible. I was under the impression i was on the codeine for 1.5 years, but my son is 3 years old in 2 days...which means i was on it closer to 2.5 years....my god

Yeah opiates will do that to you...no question. I had some idea in my head that I had been on bupe for 3 years, but I checked and it was closer to 5. Something that I think happened 6 months ago when investigated might turn out to have happened 2 years ago...it's messed up.

I'm attempting to get off bupe next month. My script expires on the 4th and I'm not going to get another one. Can't wait to be free from it.

One funny thing bupe has done to me - it's really reduced my interest in music, and other activities I used to love have become 'bleh' - while not on opiates I used to jump at the chance to try something new and exciting, but being on them so long I just say fuck it and go home. Even with friends I've not bothered keeping in touch with many since getting on opiates....just seems like I CBF a lot of the time. Rarely is anything exciting any more, rarely I'm looking forward to something.....

Don't get me wrong bupe has been great in some ways also. Stopped me from getting deeply into heroin, let me get myself together, hold down a job etc. The effects I talked about above were mainly at high doses, although they are definitely still there even at 0.4mg a day.

 

[Stiffeno]

I wish you the best of luck with getting off the Bupe, i think you can do it if you believe you can!

As for the losing interest in friends and other activities, that actually happened to me before i got onto opiots....i just stopped hanging with friends, didnt go clubbing etc. I think its why my gf hated me in the end (or hated being with me) coz we never did anything fun, and she felt nothing was ever gunna change). Well my ex-gf's life is really crappy i heard. See the last month we were together she started talking to 2 other guys via messages and mobile phone calls, the convinced her to kick me outa my home and hook up with one of them instead (home wrecking bastards!). My ex-gf was always a heavy woman, so she had one of those Lapband surgery, and she lost nearly half her weight! Well now that she was skinnier she started getting more self confidence and wanted me out of the picture so she could start going with other guys!

The thing is, she is Bulimic...since the lapband was installed she vomits every single day, after she eats ANYTHING...even drinking milk! She seen this as a godsend to becoming a thin chick, the thing is she was losing TOO much weight and not getting nurishment. Since i was chucked out, she has ended up in the hospital twice after collapsing...for years i begged her to see a doctor about her throwing up but she seen it as a good thing, well now she doesnt! Now that she IS thin, she cant stop losing the weight. She actually looks ILL and unhealthly and really skinny in the face. My grandparents said she looks so horrible now, she was better off fat. Apparently she is depressed all the time, always got money issues and has gone through at least 3 boyfriends in as many months! Guys dont wanna be with someone with a kid like she has, they want a good time and then to forget her...her current bf lives in MELBOURNE and she in Sydney, he see's her like once per 2 weeks, hell he didnt even stay for Xmas or new years =/.

Before she dumped me i told her, "Your life isnt going to suddenly get better with me gone! Guysare gunna use you for sex and then be off." i also told her that without my part of chipping in for bills and rent she wont be able to afford the super high rent and electricity bills...yet she said "I dont NEED your money, i can look after myself". Well recently she sold her mobile, her Xbox360 which she loved, is selling her PS3, possibly one of her bigscreen tvs and took out an advanced payment from Centrelink! She is struggling massively with bills...JUST like i said she would! If she had of just stood by me when i needed support with my addiction and depression/Anxiety we would be a happy family. I could see my son all the time, bills would be paid on time, she wouldnt need to sell everything she owns to pay debts and so forth! But noooo, she was skinny thus better than me, and everyone knows that once a fat chick becomes thin it magically makes every aspect of your life better...-_- sigh! She actually thought that!

 

[Stiffeno]

Sorry for double post but one more important thing.

As of 3-4 days ago i have discovered a painful lump in my left breast...largish too! I went to the doctors today and the Dr said it MAY be an infection, so ive been put onto liquid Keflex. If after a week its not gone or if it gets larger in that time, she said come back ASAP and we will have an Ultrasound done to find out exactly what the lump is. I am a little worried actually, now while breast cancer in men is rare (due to not having boobies lol) my nan's mother died of breast cancer, and my aunty died 2 years ago of lung cancer, my pop died of bone cancer, my nan has cancer removed from her forhead and back, my uncle had a basil cell cancer cut out of his forehead, and there are more i cannot recall! So there is a long history of cancer in my family, even BREAST cancer! To say im scared is an understatement!

 

[Stiffeno]

Later today im going back to the doctor because the painful lump in my breast is still there after 2 courses of anti-biotics (just as i thought it would be). Actually i think it might be SLIGHTLY bigger....unless im just able to feel it better due to knowing about it longer...not sure exactly. Anyways the doctor will organize an ultrasound on my chest to figure out what it is (maybe a biopsy too?), personally i wished they had just skipped the anti-biotics and done the scan, i mean its just given it another week to grow/do damage if it is dangerous like cancer.

As for the Methadone, im at 60mg and have been at it for a week now and apart from some queezy gut in the morning (unrelated to the dose) ive been feeling fine, no cravings, no sickness, my back pain most hours of the day is negligible and ive got no wish to try and up my dose further. Im very happy with how ive been feeling now . Every day they been askin me how i am at this dose and if i want to go up, but im happy to say "Nope, dont need to go up thank you"....and the staff seem happy too. For the first time since being on Methadone i can safely say i feel extremely stable on this amount....and while many believe it was a bad idea getting on Opiot maintenance to begin with, i feel my life is much better as i currently am.

Edit: Im also still gain weight (maybe a bit too much around the waist lol), so im looking and feeling more healthy.

 

[Stiffeno]

Just had the blood test done, had to get bloody stuck twice with the needle! The first time only a few drops came out...apparently i have thin veins or something =/. The nurse was wiping up heaps of blood from the table i was layin on so i guess it squirted out!!! Lucky i didnt watch coz i hate the sight of blood (makes me light headed and queezy) and seeing it squirt out woulda made me freak out! Anyways i started gettin really light headed coz my arm was aching from the needle and it bruised. The nurse said to come back later today or another day because when someone gets dizzy like me they arent supposed to try again (apparently)...but i said "Hey lets just get it over and done with, if i have to come back i might not have the guts too, i might chicken out lol"....so she went and spoke to her boss. Her boss asked how i was feeling, i felt fine actually after the needle was removed few a couple mins, so she sanitized my forearm and stuck it in. First go worked like a charm, the needle going in hardly hurt (i think the other nurse moved the needle in my vein which killed), and she got the full blood flow . She done it on sorta halfway down my forearm...didnt really hurt much at all in that spot...or maybe it was coz my joint was killing (you know the typical spot they take it from the arm?).

As for the ultrasound i couldnt get it done today coz i didnt have an appointment, and it was over a 2 hour wait (which my nan didnt wanna wait for, nor did I) so Monday 10:30am i get it done...I really wish it had been done today coz i wanted to done fast in case it is cancer....i want it gone ASAP....not its gotta be in my body 2-3 more days .

The doctor yesterday said it could be a hormone problem causing me to literally develop a full on female breast O_O (just one side though)...but its painful so i think it might be something bad...after all my nans mum did die of breast cancer, and while rare in men...it IS possible! It has came up in like a single month, so whatever it is, its growing fast! I just want it gone!

Back on topic: No changes with my status on the Methadone, still going good. No problems!

 

[Christ!]

Good to hear about the methadone working well dude.

Interesting about the breast swelling and possible hormone problems...someone posted in AUSDD about methadone (and possibly other opiates?) decreasing levels of testosterone. Yeah, not surprised you want it gone suddenly growing a singular boob would be a bit weird.

How's your exercise levels and food intake going lately? The same, less or more?

 

[Stiffeno]

I am eating good, but not as good as i was a month or so ago...just not been that hungry. The doctor said if it is a hormone problem then its a tit growing, if my testosterone levels are fine in the blood test, than its either fatty tissue, a cyst (i dont think it is coz 2 courses of anti-biotics didnt help it) or breast cancer, and as i said there is a history of it in the family so im very worried. Now having the scan delayed to monday is bad coz its better to get things like this fixed ASAP in case it IS cancerous...now its got a few more days too grow =/.

Edit: As for exercise, well its non existent lol i never do it >.<

 

[psytaco]

I doubt it is breast cancer dude. pretty rare in men, and if I am not mistaken, it is mainly a problem for older men. so you can relax.

 

[Stiffeno]

I doubt it is breast cancer dude. pretty rare in men, and if I am not mistaken, it is mainly a problem for older men. so you can relax.

Rare yes but not impossible, remember there is always that one person that gets an illness that defies general rules and symptoms. As i said there is a history of breast cancer in my family...and while it is in woman, there is always the chance it could be...even if i dont fit the general description (ie: older woman).

I will soon find out anyways, come monday ill get my bloodwork back and see how my organs and hormones are working....get my chest ultrasound and go from there.

Edit: At least my Methadone is working good and having no issues in terms of pain and addiction...so i can focus on one issue at a time.

Offtopic: Grand Theft Auto 3 has been released for iOS5 devices, its a 10th anniversary port which contains the original storyline, missions and so forth (its IS the whole game, not a stripped down version). Just bought it from the app store for my iPhone 4S...cost bout $5.50 but its great, graphics and polygons have been updated to be HD (they look very similar but smoother animations).

 

[Stiffeno]

Just got back from getting the ultrasound done, the staff member doing the scan said it looks like just a hormonal thing (he said the technical name for it but i cant recall lol)...anyways the doctor will explain the results for me when i get my results back in 3 hours from now. I will still need to get it removed i think because it will just continue to get bigger...and it hurts so i cant just leave it and forget it.

 

[Jonro]

Shouldn't you just be on straight up pain meds from a GP or pain specialist for your Scoliosis? Morphine, endone? Scoliosis is fucking painful any GP should know this and should have you on the adequate pain meds. Maybe you should abandon your quest for opioid maintenance treatments and go to as many doctors/specialists as it takes to get on some proper pain meds, i don't mean paracetamol or ibuprofen but oxy or morphine. Trust me if you present in enough pain they can write you up for pain meds that will knock you out all day.

 

[psytaco]

^ still kind of replaces one problem for another. A shocking tolerance and addiction to oxy and morphine. I dont know, the OPs situation is a real catch 22.

Stiffeno: how does methadone go with managing your pain? also, good news with the ultrasound/tests. I knew it wouldnt be breast cancer.