• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Meth/Amphetamines: Serious Discussion Only

Status
Not open for further replies.
i tried it 2 or three times and im never gonna do it again, but even using a couple of times a few years ago, the thought of doing it crosses my mind all the time
 
relapsed last night and it still seems to b kicking around in my system cos even tho im (not proud to say) on smack i seem to not feel tired or anything
heres another poem for u all (but i wrote it ;))
TWEAKER'S BATTLE
Voices screaming day and night
They're in pain and they will fight
Needing what they never could explain
Never silent, never still
Driving at your crumbling will
It's poison but without it you're insane

Try to slow down, you'll be crushed
Yet any more is just too much
The addict's battle cry will never cease
Reality's kaleidoscope
Is too confusing, one can't cope
Demons never leave your soul on peace

Dirty anger, rotting mind
Methhead, they avoid your kind
Trapped just like a hamster in a cage
Mama hates it when you use
She sees what you have to lose
All that does is amplify your rage

You want to stop but where to go?
How can the crazed one ever know
Who to trust without that crystal shell?
Last point, last puff, last hit, last line
Good God - you say that every time
You know you're falling right through tweaker's hell

Brain is soon an empty void
Twitching, manic, paranoid
Seeing things you wish you'd never seen
Try to calm your racing heart
Why the fuck'd'ya ever start?
That's your life on methamphetamine

i had that published in a local newspaper with an article on my story (when i was clean :\)
and gorgoroth is right - heavy meth users often do experience physical withdrawals
no theyre nothing like opiate withdrawals but theyre not particularly nice either
i also experienced intense paranoia, headaches, muscle spasms and aches, psychotic breakdowns, angry outbursts and extremely itchy skin (as well as that familiar crawly feeling beneath it)
 
thats a really good poem drug wench, very true :)
my withdrawals are going to be CRAP i have not been awake not on this/coming down off it for SIX YEARS
my dopamine isnt going to be in very good shape, and i already am aware my insides are that of somebody 10-15 yrs older.
im a silly silly girl
im just sitting here hugging my fluffy cat, she is purring and licking my hand, im gonna need her next week thats for sure
 
see wat the doctors can do to ease ur discomfort as much as poss, claire
if u start feeling paranoia coming on, it cud b an early sign of psychosis so get urself straight to the doctor and get some seroquel or something
usually the first thing theyll do is let u sleep 3 days and then knock u out with valium for awhile if u go into a detox unit
which may b a gd option for u considering the length of time uve bn on it
first time i tried quitting i think id bn on it as long as u and i had to go into detox
but its diffrent for evrybody, and of course being in familiar surroundings with ur cats might b the best medicine of all <3
ill b thinking of u on tuesday hun
oh btw - thanks for comment on poem....gotta admit i wrote it on meth but......its how i felt even on the shit at the time
 
well just 'cos you do something, doesn't mean you truly want it..sometimes we don't even know what we want!
i'm gonna be asleep for awhile which will be good..but at least the physical withdrawal won't b anywhere near the agony of opiate addicts, poor people..but at least opiates don't ruin your bodily functions like this shit!
ill giv it my best shot i guessss.. if i fail first time around then i've got the next day to try again
i've got shitty heartburn right now. something i am NOT going to miss
i've been awake like 5 days dont ask why i do not know..i cracked the shits at a waitress tonight as well..feeling bad about it now

bloody heartburn is killing meeeeeeeeeeeee
btw ur a good writer, i've always been a lot better in english than maths, haha. i did literature at school and everything, i miss writing i used to love it
 
im asking my doctor to pull me off the dexedrine and ill try to get seroquil instead.
the dex is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy WAY too tempting for me to abuse.
 
id luv to see some of ur writing claire
and gorgoroth - if u abuse the dexies, it might b a gd idea to change to something else, esp something like seroquel as it may help with any lasting psychotic effects u can suffer after long-term amphetamine abuse
wolterp.....all i can say is just pick urself up, dust urself off and try again
its all any of us can do
remember im thinking of u claire, as ur detoxing!
 
The worst of my abuse is oral dosage at 90 or 120mg of d/l amphetamine.
And next to that, i once did 80mg snorted last october.
funny thing is, every time i've done a large amount of amp, the high never really feels very prominent. I have energy. I have a decent mood. But the mental effects. The motivation and enjoying my thoughts and talkativeness. The particular notice of details in things and analyzation of everything. Learning how things work and taking them apart all the time. I've had more of that when dosing at 40-60mg recreationally in the past, and i stopped for about 4 months. Plugging had no effect on me honestly, maybe a short lived body buzz. Snorting it feels disgusting and the body load is just awful, but the rush is noticeable and lasts a good 1-2 hours then im just tweaky the rest of the night. not really a noticeable crash for me, moreso just a shift into the eventual psychosis combined with tweaky where i just dont sleep and i keep looking around to see whats moving nad theres nothing there. Shadow precursors of expected objects or people....a sign that part of my mind is falling asleep or just out of steam.
I used to hang out with some shady guy who went to raves n clubs with me. if people were hungry he always had alot of rolls. They were from the G spot bakery so i assumed they were flavored emdee-ay. He also occasionally had this girl molly comin round too. Altho I chilled with the guy I never really liked his rolls or his bitchs, even though I tested both for him and found them to be legit. Both had kinda crummy after affects so I stuck with good old amy while being around molls and bakery goods all the time. amy never made me feel like crap to the extent the others did, and i never tried to overdo them

I don't really do amp or anything recreationally any more. The worst I'll go is if i feel burnt out on a night im going out to a club ill redose for a total over 60mg over the course of the day. and I never feel high, i just don't run out of energy.
 
Last edited:
^ I read all that and I can relate to it bro, stay away from the tweak even dexedrine is fucking addictive as hell. MDMA sounds like hell to me with the horrific crash.
I went down to 40 mg/day dexedrine, that's a high dose as it is, and there wasn't any need for me to be at 60, I told my doctor. I'm still off methamphetamine.
 
Good for you Claire! Just see how long you can go without it, and don't worry if you relapse, it'll happen - each time you can go a little longer and before you know it you'll be off it entirely. You sound pretty clear-headed and determined so I have faith in you. :)
 
Thank you wingnut! My only prob is I have been picturing meth in my head CONSTANTLY..its overriden my normal thought, driving me mad.
been smoking so much cigarettes.. been through about 4 packs in 3 days..haha
and mango gelati and chocolate are lifesavers, I'll be obese at the end of this, lmao.
 
Need to clarify

Amphed Revolution said:
175 a point?

In the USA?

ROFL

Yeah, you're getting robbed. I don't care where you are.
Click to expand...

sorry mixed up my terminology. i meant to say 175/gram. blamin it on the binge and a lil better but still not great. gave it up anyway and moved on
 
gd to hear so many ppl r doing well here - stick to ur guns! gorgoroth, getting ur dex dose down was an awesome idea
keep at it mate!
 
i'm torn between two options
option 1. quit, feel but feel miserable. wonder if brain will ever return to normal status. crave. know this will always grasp a little part of my soul that i cannot get back. slightly own me forever ?
option 2. be artificially happy, waste all my $ on feeling fake happy

argh.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top