Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

[Jabberwocky]

I'm too afraid to go on the dark net, don't know how to use it and don't want to.

Its nothing to be afraid of, but you certainly need to know what you're doing, which takes much research.

It's for the best because I would just buy all the things.

Yes.

I am a true polyaddict and the dark net is like kid me in a candy shop. Its definitely not good for someone having difficulty controlling their use.


Anyways drugs r bad....

On another topic I noticed that my schizo symptoms flare up when I am stressed or very sad. New to me. Not too bad, not much, but noticeable.

The INCESSANT FUCKING MUSIC in my head needs to stop. Sorry mini vent.

Have a good day friends.

 

[stardust10]

Fuck am I schizophrenic? ^ I get random music through my head at least 50% of the day lol.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Fuck am I schizophrenic? ^ I get random music through my head at least 50% of the day lol. The darknet lol

I used to get music stuck in my head too. Its different. I start hearing music playing before I even open my eyes in the morning. Instead of voices I hear music. It can be very odd. Sometimes I'll hear someone I know singing the song. Its hard to explain and all started after my mental break

Trust me when you hear your own mother's voice singing childhood rhymes in your head at 6am... a song you've never heard before... Trust me it gets VERY weird and abnormal.

I have to remind myself that I am sane and still appear so to other people.

 

[stardust10]

Ok I don't know you but I'm sorry you had a mental break I'm feeling like I could any day soon

 

[Jabberwocky]

Made me smile. Maybe you, too.

 

[SAT4N_420]

I'm too afraid to go on the dark net, don't know how to use it and don't want to.

Well, that's alright. I used to feel nervous and paranoid when I first started buying from there so I can definitely understand why you would feel that way.

Its nothing to be afraid of, but you certainly need to know what you're doing, which takes much research.


Yes.

I am a true polyaddict and the dark net is like kid me in a candy shop. Its definitely not good for someone having difficulty controlling their use.


Anyways drugs r bad....

On another topic I noticed that my schizo symptoms flare up when I am stressed or very sad. New to me. Not too bad, not much, but noticeable.

The INCESSANT FUCKING MUSIC in my head needs to stop. Sorry mini vent.

Have a good day friends.

Sorry to hear you're going through that, it does seem like it's causing you distress so hopefully it gets better soon.


For me today has been alright, I got some more heroin so I'm feeling much better now. Last week I had purchased a new drawing tablet for my PC, at first I regret it because it was an impulse purchase and I hadn't drawn in so long because depression completely killed my ability to enjoy it so I thought I wasn't going to be as good as I used to, but I decided to test the tablet out by doing a quick drawing of one of my favorite characters from a video game and I was pleasantly surprised to find that my skill level hasn't really declined at all. It really does disturb me just how badly depression can suck the enjoyment out of things I love to do though...

Spoiler

 

[Jabberwocky]

Well, that's alright. I used to feel nervous and paranoid when I first started buying from there so I can definitely understand why you would feel that way.


Sorry to hear you're going through that, it does seem like it's causing you distress so hopefully it gets better soon.


For me today has been alright, I got some more heroin so I'm feeling much better now. Last week I had purchased a new drawing tablet for my PC, at first I regret it because it was an impulse purchase and I hadn't drawn in so long because depression completely killed my ability to enjoy it so I thought I wasn't going to be as good as I used to, but I decided to test the tablet out by doing a quick drawing of one of my favorite characters from a video game and I was pleasantly surprised to find that my skill level hasn't really declined at all. It really does disturb me just how badly depression can suck the enjoyment out of things I love to do though...

Spoiler

Looks like a professional sketch to me. I'd like to see any of your digital art. Don't short sell yourself. Most of us draw 3rd grade chicken scratches.

 

[SAT4N_420]

Looks like a professional sketch to me. I'd like to see any of your digital art. Don't short sell yourself. Most of us draw 3rd grade chicken scratches.

Thanks, drawing is something that I've enjoyed ever since I was a child. I don't usually post my art online but if you really want me to share it I'm more than happy to do so!

 

[n3ophy7e]

^^ Please do!

I am a true polyaddict and the dark net is like kid me in a candy shop.

Me too man, me too.

On another topic I noticed that my schizo symptoms flare up when I am stressed or very sad. New to me. Not too bad, not much, but noticeable.

That is very interesting, and I imagine that it is very good for you to know for future reference. Are you currently medicated for your symptoms?

 

[on.my.way🌿]

Not doing great. Met another guy he's kinda sociopathic and I cant stand it. His behaviour makes me act up and then he blames me for it etc. Dont fuckingn sit and compliment your female friend for how hot and sexy she is for like 5 mins.
While barely agnoliging my existence the whole time we spent with them

saying goodbye to my cat but not to me..

It may sound like small stuff but.its a lot more and I know where this is going. He's away for a few days now hopefully he just stops responding idc



im fucking broken cant handle this now. Addicted to bensos again, taking low doses though. 15mg and 20$ left just shoot me ughhh

 

[stardust10]

Maybe you shouldn't respond to him? If there are warning signs? Easy to say. You ok woman to woman welcome to message me anytime remember

Mentally I'm not the worst today just feeling really lazy/lethargic/bit of frustration but I'm trying to be kind to myself and not stress about the things I'm not able to get done. I have palpitations so lying in bed only getting up when I need to.

 

[SAT4N_420]

^^ Please do!

I think I will, especially when profile posting becomes available then I can post all the drawings I want!

Not doing great. Met another guy he's kinda sociopathic and I cant stand it. His behaviour makes me act up and then he blames me for it etc. Dont fuckingn sit and compliment your female friend for how hot and sexy she is for like 5 mins.
While barely agnoliging my existence the whole time we spent with them

saying goodbye to my cat but not to me..

It may sound like small stuff but.its a lot more and I know where this is going. He's away for a few days now hopefully he just stops responding idc



im fucking broken cant handle this now. Addicted to bensos again, taking low doses though. 15mg and 20$ left just shoot me ughhh

I second what iTry said. I know it's easier said than done, but in the long term it really is for the best to not have someone like that in your life.

Mentally I'm not the worst today just feeling really lazy/lethargic/bit of frustration but I'm trying to be kind to myself and not stress about the things I'm not able to get done. I have palpitations so lying in bed only getting up when I need to.

It's good that you're trying to be kind to yourself, that's something that's very important. The way I like to think about it is to treat yourself like you would treat someone else. So if you would be kind and understanding when someone says they're lethargic and having trouble getting out of bed, then you should treat yourself the same way instead of telling yourself hurtful things like calling yourself useless or lazy.

 

[stardust10]

^completely agree I still am working on this negative talk and attitude...it's like I want to beat myself with a big stick or hammer or something fuck lol
But I'm getting better. At least I'm aware now.
Runs in my family we all put far too much pressure on ourselves and tend to have low self-esteem/social anxiety - for me it's getting close to people. my brother handles his SA well as he has a great job working with loads of people. Anyone else suffer from serious low self-esteem sometimes to the point of self sabotaging or avoiding opportunities/relationships etc etc?

But yeah treat others the same as you wanna be treated. And show yourself the same love and compassion. I'm gonna work on this. Less guilt, less stress, good vibes lol.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Does anyone ever suddenly feel very guilty and sad for no reason at all?

Its like I feel I got caught doing something bad, but I didn't.

Maybe this is just guilt of not keeping promises I make to myself.

 

[stardust10]

I feel guilty all the time I feel bad for loads of things and tbh I've not REALLY done much wrong yaknow

 

[n3ophy7e]

Does anyone ever suddenly feel very guilty and sad for no reason at all?

Its like I feel I got caught doing something bad, but I didn't.

Maybe this is just guilt of not keeping promises I make to myself.

YES. I always think/assume that I've done something wrong or that someone is upset with me. I challenge the fuck out of my initial thoughts and reactions now (thank you CBT) but it's still always my first reaction when, for example someone says "I need to talk to you later" or my boss says "Can we have a quick chat". My brain just goes "ARGHHH I'M FUCKED!" even when I know I did nothing wrong.

 

[Jabberwocky]

YES. I always think/assume that I've done something wrong or that someone is upset with me. I challenge the fuck out of my initial thoughts and reactions now (thank you CBT) but it's still always my first reaction when, for example someone says "I need to talk to you later" or my boss says "Can we have a quick chat". My brain just goes "ARGHHH I'M FUCKED!" even when I know I did nothing wrong.

1000% I'm the same in every way. Its a combination of anxiety and low esteem, confidence, "PTSD" from the past, stress, everything.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Absolutely!!! It's the reason I don't answer my phone, like, ever Even if I know the person who's calling hahahaha.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Absolutely!!! It's the reason I don't answer my phone, like, ever Even if I know the person who's calling hahahaha.

Omg I legit have anxiety attacks when my phone rings sometimes. Mostly because I had to go off the grid to get away from those damn debt collector, haha.

Something that helped me too is I switched to a very soft and calm ringtone and notification. Less phone anxiety

 

[n3ophy7e]

Omg I legit have anxiety attacks when my phone rings sometimes. Mostly because I had to go off the grid to get away from those damn debt collector, haha.

Something that helped me too is I switched to a very soft and calm ringtone and notification. Less phone anxiety

Omg are we the same person? Hahaha.
I filed for bankruptcy to stop the debt collectors though. It was the only way.
Oh, and my phone is now always on silent