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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

I'm feeling very depressed, my boyfriend coming back to normal so thats good but my father is dying and i have to face someone in my family that i would rather go a lifetime without seeing.
My anxiety is through the roof and i don't know if its PAWS or if im just depressed about everything going on.
I cry almost every day and i do have feeling up times but it seems my depression is getting worse.
I metioned it to my psychiatrist thinking upping my antidepressant would help but she said she didn't want to numb my feelings so i can deal with my problems. The problem is im loosing grip on dealing with this. I am in no way suicidal its just i have no family and only my boyfriend and now im loosing my father, the drunk he was/is he is still all i got.
 
Making peace (lol) and accepting my narcissistic nature made me feel better about myself. Spent a lot less feeling shit about things I have done (benzos and lyricas fucking suck for me and always did). I still put some blame on those meds, but it was me who did all of it.
Getting taste of my own medicine got me really understanding what not to do.
Accepting and not rejecting ones past seems to help. :giggle:
 
I've been dealing with bad Social Anxiety for a long time.I used to have alot of friends but now days it's just m,e hiding out at the house.I dont like this but I constantly feel out of place around people in general unless I'm drinking are on opiates.Need help with this.Need a girlfriend,but I've just been 2 paranoid to go th o social gatherings or meetings are anything...What can I do about this automatic paranoia?
 
Crowsonator2008 said:
I've been dealing with bad Social Anxiety for a long time.I used to have alot of friends but now days it's just m,e hiding out at the house.I dont like this but I constantly feel out of place around people in general unless I'm drinking are on opiates.Need help with this.Need a girlfriend,but I've just been 2 paranoid to go th o social gatherings or meetings are anything...What can I do about this automatic paranoia?
Click to expand...

Has anything changed since you had friends until now?

Do you take any medication/does your doctor know about your struggles?

We're our own biggest critic. Most other people couldn't care less about the stupid shit that we think is important.

I used to be a very shy kid, but as I got more exposed to people my anxiety around them lessened. I'd start small, and not move on until i've nailed it. Like try going to the grocery store and talking to the cashier. Nothing more until you get used to the feeling. Then eventually you can go to bars and social clubs with a bit more practice.
 
well and not well. Stress, anxiety, grief, loss, panic, etc. On the other hand I have good feelings too. I am trying to remain objective and logical in analyzing my situation: I'm not alone in going through loss and grief, I'm not the first and won't be the last to go through these events, and if these events were spaced out by a long period of time I'd never really have "the rest" of my life to be happy. Ripping off all the band aids now allows me to grin and bear it and then there'll be a few/many good years ahead without these types of negative feelings.
 
Crowsonator2008 said:
I've been dealing with bad Social Anxiety for a long time.I used to have alot of friends but now days it's just m,e hiding out at the house.I dont like this but I constantly feel out of place around people in general unless I'm drinking are on opiates.Need help with this.Need a girlfriend,but I've just been 2 paranoid to go th o social gatherings or meetings are anything...What can I do about this automatic paranoia?
Click to expand...
Try to seek out someone you know you can be friends with, explain your situation (that it's near impossible but something you still want in life; a friendship) and take it from there. Honesty goes a long way. Offer to do the first nice thing for them (i.e. laying groundwork).
 
Captain.Heroin said:
well and not well. Stress, anxiety, grief, loss, panic, etc. On the other hand I have good feelings too. I am trying to remain objective and logical in analyzing my situation: I'm not alone in going through loss and grief, I'm not the first and won't be the last to go through these events, and if these events were spaced out by a long period of time I'd never really have "the rest" of my life to be happy. Ripping off all the band aids now allows me to grin and bear it and then there'll be a few/many good years ahead without these types of negative feelings.
Click to expand...

That sound right - experiencing an early midlife crisis may give you peace as you get older.

What type of good feelings do you have?
 
Indeed, thanks man. I normally don't get afraid or paranoid in real life about much. I like operating knowing most people are good at heart and you can easily stress-free contribute to the society around you. I'm sure that doesn't apply necessarily all over the world.

That's part of what I wrote in "Incomplete", I touched on what others would think of my life, if they'd be proud of it. If it was worth it if no one else can subjectively experience it the same way (lonely feels). I'm probably going to get some rest and focus on productive things in a bit.
 
Lol, went to psychosis again. Its funny how my superego or something tricks me so I dont see myself as crazy, but as evil especially when I read about mental diseases.

Also some thoughts from monday "Okay time to think......youre a retard....maniamaaniiaaMANIA!"

Took meds and shit seems clearer.


Holy fuck talked to my friend and no wonder why he said Im like Elliot Anderson from Mr Robot... This is fucked up

Lol no wonder I have many different accents, shits quite something o_O
 
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