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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

I am a fucking idiot for poisoning my mind by reading about the "truth" etc.. conspiracies and shit.
My style of going to the deep end with information propably hurts me more than my irregular drug use.
Reading about shit sometimes tends to give me anxiety like now.
 
schizopath said:
I am a fucking idiot for poisoning my mind by reading about the "truth" etc.. conspiracies and shit.
My style of going to the deep end with information propably hurts me more than my irregular drug use.
Reading about shit sometimes tends to give me anxiety like now.
Click to expand...

Yes, looking into conspiracies and all the corruption will send you down a rabbit hole. It's very unhealthy and can make you fearful, even paranoid. I've been there though. It's best to distance yourself from it. You may know the truth, but don't obsess and let it drive you crazy. Put it on the backburner and move forward. These are dark times, but evil doesn't win in the end. God has the victory. Not worried about it.
 
I've been through hell and back trying to get a Peloton bike for my new fitness journey. It's over $2,000 so they have a payment plan you must set up through Affirm loan company. That way you can pay on the bike each month. They'll loan you money even if you don't have credit. It says on their site they'll sometimes ask for the username and password that you use to log into your bank. They won't keep the information. They just want to look at your funds. So I gave them my info and the bank closed my online account. I explained to them Affirm is a legitimate company, but the security team made me come into the bank to get a new account and change all of my log in information. *sighs* What a pain in the ass!

Fuck you Peloton! I've been looking at rowing machines instead. I can't wait to get one next month so I can start.

Exercise does wonders for your mood. It's not a cure-all, but it helps.

Do you guys have any favorite exercises you like to do? Besides sex. hehe
 
@CoastTwoCoast - What a shit storm. Even after you explained that it's YOUR account and YOUR business.. that's some horse shit. Could you run circles in your living from? LOL.

I simply do push-ups. And walk a lot. Like, 2 hours a day.
 
madness00 said:
@CoastTwoCoast - What a shit storm. Even after you explained that it's YOUR account and YOUR business.. that's some horse shit. Could you run circles in your living from? LOL.

I simply do push-ups. And walk a lot. Like, 2 hours a day.
Click to expand...

I know! Maybe because it's a credit union, they are way too strict. It's super annoying.

Haha I kinda run circles around my bedroom when I'm dancing and singing at the top of my lungs. The rowing machine will be great though. It works out the entire body.

Amazon.com : JOROTO Magnetic Rowing Machine Exercise Rower Adjustable Resistance with LCD Monitor : Sports & Outdoors

Amazon.com : JOROTO Magnetic Rowing Machine Exercise Rower Adjustable Resistance with LCD Monitor : Sports & Outdoors
www.amazon.com

Push ups and walking that long distance sounds really good!
 
Thanks CTC, you are absolutely right that I should propably end reading about them conspiracies for good. Shit has already ruined my mental health.

Just met my best childhood friend first time in a year and we decided we should have beer and sauna night someday.
Feeling good, but wondering how the fuck does this sexuality thing work..
 
i can't really walk, but i do, because it hurts my back. so riding a bike is like being in traction my bars are low. so riding a bike and rowing is better ! and is a complete work out. biking, rowing, and swimming ! there is nothing better.
then illuminaughty.
 
Hylight said:
i can't really walk, but i do, because it hurts my back. so riding a bike is like being in traction my bars are low. so riding a bike and rowing is better ! and is a complete work out. biking, rowing, and swimming ! there is nothing better.
then illuminaughty.
Click to expand...

Are you a good swimmer? I learned how to swim many years ago in the ocean when I took a trip to Mexico. I don't know if I can still swim, haven't done it in a decade. haha

schizopath said:
Thanks CTC, you are absolutely right that I should propably end reading about them conspiracies for good. Shit has already ruined my mental health.

Just met my best childhood friend first time in a year and we decided we should have beer and sauna night someday.
Feeling good, but wondering how the fuck does this sexuality thing work..
Click to expand...

Yes, definitely hang out with your friend soon. It will help you to take your mind off of things. What do you mean you don't know how sexuality works?
 
i have a “second opinion” appointment on monday with a doc that specializes in mood disorders. says that takes 3 - 4 appointments, which is fine because i wanna get this squared away solid and i’m not gonna trust anything or anyone after one appointment. desperately want to know if i actually need a mood stabilizer.
 
@hydroazuanacaine - I bet a lot of the information gathered will be about your past episodes, so just be prepared to recall what the feelings were like and have your timeline in mind.

A lot of times personality disorders can seem like mood disorders. Is that where the confusion is coming in on this "second opinion"?
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
Are you a good swimmer? I learned how to swim many years ago in the ocean when I took a trip to Mexico. I don't know if I can still swim, haven't done it in a decade. haha
Click to expand...

i swim everyday in the lake when i can.
the cold water takes the shock out
of me when i am jumping in.
i am still struggling every day trying
to stay away from a dose once in a while
so i am still struggling everyday and the
cold water wakes me right up. it's dope.
the dog even hates it. it might be getting colder soon. it would be so nice to be out there today, but i can't get outta bed. ??
swimming is fun in the ocean i went out by chula vista and coronado island.
i went in the atlantic pacific too and med.
it's the sea with lots of sharks and octopie. ☺
yeah i love it its dope. like a skateboard vs. a banana peal and surfing the seiche out at the beaches is great too.
redondo and manhattan is fun.
but i want to be out of pain now. so the cold
water at the lake helps. salt water from the sea is great and healthy also.
 
thanks, CoastTwoCoast.

confusion is coming from unipolar depression vs bipolar type ii. for the longest time i’ve been diagnosed with major depressive disorder (along with some sort of anxiety disorder like gad or ocd), but after about five years on prozac — which would be a dozen years from present — i discontinued and refused other antidepressants. i recently hit the end of my rope and decided to give medication another try, and all the sudden everyone is like, “well you are bipolar and need to take lamictal, not an antidepressant.” well not all the sudden, they actually started saying this years ago, but back then it didn’t matter because i wasn’t gonna take anything and they knew it. so they threw diagnoses out more freely, i feel. now that i’m actually trying medications (luvox and remeron so far), i want to make sure proper consideration is being put on this bipolar diagnosis. i tried lamictal a couple years ago but quit taking it after a week or two so didn’t get a chance to see if it worked for me.

i believe the line between unipolar and bipolar depression is constructed. and will admit i’m at least straddling it in symptoms, which are like 90 percent overlap. so i’m very afraid to start taking something that could exacerbate mania or hypomania when discontinued. reality is i’m going to discontinue. 100 percent, and likely against doctor advice. if i were a stable person, i wouldn’t be in this quandary to start with. plus finding the right medication is hard enough; i’m not trying to guinea pig my way down the wrong path because docs want to play it safe and say bipolar. i don’t want to take anything, but my current life is not working and i often turn to self medicating — which is no good. so i might as well give legit medicating another try. i wanna do it right and while i understand the trial and error approach, it won’t take too many wrong turns before i say never mind.
 
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I wonder if it could be that, if you do have bipolar disorder, you were too young at the time for the AD to trigger mania? Because taking an AD is documented as one way to give insight into whether or not you have bipolar disorder, because it often induces mania.

I'm on lamictal, and the way my doctor described it to me was that it's better at killing depression than mania, as opposed to something like lithium, so if you lean toward the depressive side more often than not and have a mild mania anyway, i'd keep this in mind and talk to your doctor about it.

Good luck - report back.
 
It absolutely makes sense you want to be sure of your diagnosis. Have you ever experienced mania, @hydroazuanacaine ?
When I was diagnosed bipolar, I didn't really question it because I have experienced being manic and then crashing into a deep depression. It made sense. I just didn't realize what was going on. I was also diagnosed with only major depression and anxiety in my early 20s. Many years later, it turned into bipolar.
 
i was young when on the antidepressant. glad to hear lamictal mostly addresses the depressive episodes, as that’s what i really struggle with. no matter my official diagnosis.

i’m not sure, CoastTwoCoast. i have a hard time distinguishing between mania versus desperation paired with reckless decisions. my depression is certainly more severe after those periods, but seems like that would naturally be the case.

happy to hear you got it sorted in a way you’re comfortable with, Coast. i mean that relatively, as i know there is nothing easy about mental illness. even with the proper diagnosis.

thanks. will certainly report back. best to all in figuring it out and managing.
 
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^ Yeah, It doesn't necessarily get easier even when you know your diagnosis. It's good to be sure though. We're all just doing the best we can. I have vices, but they get me through. hehe

Hylight said:
i swim everyday in the lake when i can.
the cold water takes the shock out
of me when i am jumping in.
i am still struggling every day trying
to stay away from a dose once in a while
so i am still struggling everyday and the
cold water wakes me right up. it's dope.
the dog even hates it. it might be getting colder soon. it would be so nice to be out there today, but i can't get outta bed. ??
swimming is fun in the ocean i went out by chula vista and coronado island.
i went in the atlantic pacific too and med.
it's the sea with lots of sharks and octopie. ☺
yeah i love it its dope. like a skateboard vs. a banana peal and surfing the seiche out at the beaches is great too.
redondo and manhattan is fun.
but i want to be out of pain now. so the cold
water at the lake helps. salt water from the sea is great and healthy also.
Click to expand...

The way you describe the water and swimming is so lovely and peaceful. I'm really glad you have the cold lake to help you. Stay strong, we're really proud of you! ❤
 
0
CoastTwoCoast said:
The way you describe the water and swimming is so lovely and peaceful. I'm really glad you have the cold lake to help you. Stay strong, we're really proud of you! ❤
Click to expand...

whoa that's even more overwhelming than the lake.
this is so new.
such empathy and kindness is a Real zap.
i mean Really, thank you ! then.
 
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