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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

Until now I've been holding up well things considered now everything is hitting me at once. When he calls back to apologize what am i saying to say? Ok i forgive you for making a hellish time even worse? For being my only person for support and leaving me feel completely alone while i feel that way loosing the only parent i knew?
To me that shows a person character and i don't believe he could do or say anything to make up for the hurtful things he said
I wouldn't do that to an enemy
 
He shouldnt have done that. Thats the worst thing he could do, but I guess he continued the trend of treating you badly. Though hes in a pain. Shit situation nevertheless.

Has he ever apogolized? If he calls youd maybe be better off answering idk..

Well anyways, things often get worse before they get better.
 
He has before and will again, I've been noticing a pattern since he stopped the paxil. I don't care for his appolgizes, no amount of im sorry can fix the state he put me in. Ive been wanting to use like crazy and im here alone and none of that mattered, just shit he felt like i HAD to hear. Im actually pretty disgusted with his behavior and I don't know if I could ever forgive that
 
And the worst is that i trusted him to tell him things ive never told and he used it all against me to tell me how "fucked up" i was. I wish I never told him any of it now.
He turned into an ass and I don't know if its still paxil withdrawal or hes just a cunt and hid it well
 
I wish peace for you brother.

I feel a bit manic too on day two without my antipsychotic. Should be getting it Wednesday. At least I have my stabilizer I guess.
 
Need hugs, you guys :(
I thought I was totally over my ex from several years ago. He was always "the one that got away", but I moved on a while ago. But I've just heard he's married now and I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. Been binging on opioids and sleeping pills the last few days to feel better.
Don't get me wrong: I'm not bitter. I'm glad he seems happy and I wish them both nothing but the best...but..fuck, it sucks.

Hope the rest of you are fairing better than me today <3
 
Lucy20 said:
And the worst is that i trusted him to tell him things ive never told and he used it all against me to tell me how "fucked up" i was. I wish I never told him any of it now.
He turned into an ass and I don't know if its still paxil withdrawal or hes just a cunt and hid it well
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*massive hugs*

Sometimes my mum will stop taking her Zoloft and she gets VERY similar to how your boyfriend is acting. Just lashing out, blaming everybody and telling you about all of your faults and how awful you are etc. I think it's just that darkness of mental illness distorting how he thinks. I have psychotic depression and before I started treatment I had all sorts of delusions. For example, I thought my parents were going out of their way to abuse me and fuck me up as much as possible. I didn't ever confront them, but if I had, I imagine they'd feel like you do now. Try and remember, it's (probably) just from not taking his meds.

Why *is* he not taking it? Paxil has the worst withdrawal of all the SSRI/SNRI meds, too, because it has a very short half-life.
 
I'm on Vraylar @ChemicallyEnhanced. It's a new one.

It's mainly for schizophrenia, which I don't have, but also treats mixed mania very well.

I got my AP now and feel a ton better. But it worries me that I got manic fully medicated this summer and had to increase lamictal to 400. Eventually I'll probably have to rotate stabilizers to depakote.
 
madness00 said:
I'm on Vraylar @ChemicallyEnhanced. It's a new one.

It's mainly for schizophrenia, which I don't have, but also treats mixed mania very well.

I got my AP now and feel a ton better. But it worries me that I got manic fully medicated this summer and had to increase lamictal to 400. Eventually I'll probably have to rotate stabilizers to depakote.
Click to expand...

Depakote is working pretty well for me :) I'm on it for dual-treatment as I also have seizures. Unlike other mood stabilizers it doesn't make me numbish, just calmer (in a nice way...not nice like benzo's or barbs...but WAY better than the sedation from APs).
I should take my APs but they just make me wanna binge on sugary stuff then sleep for 16 hours. I wish they had a med that made it so you could keep the hypomania but stop it from escalating.
It's very off-licence but I managed to get Pentobarbital for mania and it actually worked very well, and it doesn't come with a bunch of shitty side-effects.
 
Thanks for starting this thread...i have bipolar type 2.currently on lamictal and abilify and klonopin..I however recently have begun sometimes not often but sometimes getting meth.. I however am on probation and have to really be careful with it.. it's tough today I'm tired from the meth keeping me up night before last. I know better but yet I still get it oçcasionaly , sometimes I think they broke my mind doing my time incarcerated and I do stupid stuff to go back, I committed 14 felonies before being diagnosed bipolar..paid a lawyer a fortune to just do a year . Have years of probation though. My Dr says it's a miracle I didn't get in more trouble in my life as I was not diagnosed till 45. I abuse the klonopin and always running out . My mood today is ok I guess ,just tired. Maybe a little depressed that I let myself down and did the meth. It makes me feel so much better though lol. My family would die if they knew I got it sometimes ...but there is nothing more freeing than a day of running around with my friends on meth! Lol Again. Thanks for starting thread it helps me to read about others and their Issues ,makes me feel less crazy! Thanks , Am
 
Hey - nice to meet you @Amos2019.

Looks like we have similar issues. Be safe, and be sure to get some sleep when you can.

I stopped using meth after I violated probation with it. I have a violation hearing at the end of the month.
 
Lucy20 said:
And the worst is that i trusted him to tell him things ive never told and he used it all against me to tell me how "fucked up" i was. I wish I never told him any of it now.
He turned into an ass and I don't know if its still paxil withdrawal or hes just a cunt and hid it well
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That's such a betrayal of trust and it's crossing the line big time. I'm sorry he's being that way. Going through withdrawals isn't an excuse to act like a complete cunt. It's up to you how much you continue to tolerate him, but I would cut him off. He's only hurting your feelings, there's no reason to talk to him right now. He needs to know you won't put up with that kind of behavior.

schizopath said:
Gonna go to the hospital tomorrow. I cant deal with my mental problems (mania etc) anymore without any medication.
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I'm glad you decided to go to the hospital. Did you get the help you need? Feeling any better?
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
That's such a betrayal of trust and it's crossing the line big time. I'm sorry he's being that way. Going through withdrawals isn't an excuse to act like a complete cunt. It's up to you how much you continue to tolerate him, but I would cut him off. He's only hurting your feelings, there's no reason to talk to him right now. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.



I'm glad you decided to go to the hospital. Did you get the help you need? Feeling any better?
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He has appolgized profusely but i still haven't seen him, im at the hospital still and im still pretty disgusted how he acted. I will deal with him after but it will be hard because how could I trust him now? I don't think he can fix what he's done. I don't even think of him the same. Withdrawal and being drunk is no excuse and no apology can take away the extra pain he caused
 
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