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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

on.my.way🌿 said:
Had at nice day at my moms place. WAte dinner and watched Devs with my mum , later on I drank some wine with my brother, watched some dayz gameplay and smoked a few spliffs.
Then my husband called and was mad I bc i waited 10mins to call him up even though i texted him saying i was taking a cig with mum. those things really gives me warning signals but i guess im just paranoid gonna leave this shit behind as soon as i have the energy for it we dont want the same things in life and has way different values anyways and he would be way better of without me,also dont wanna fuck up his sobriety again
Man idk what i would do if i did not have bluelight to express myself on it really makes me feel less lonely just rambling in this thread lol
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Surround yourself with what you need, don't be an emotional tampon.
 
Shady's Fox said:
Surround yourself with what you need, don't be an emotional tampon.
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I have severe separation anxiety, I mean S E V E R E but thats no excuse to ruin another persons life. Im gonna try to have the "talk" as soon as possible just postponing (spelling??) it. We will have to split up our four cats though and it breaks my heart
 
Man i think it's the fucking weed making me depressed , atleast 50% of the time I smoke I feel worse than before and quite often suicidal. Being without makes me anxious too though but that what it means being addicted soo ???. just waiting for the psilocybe mushrooms to grow so i can try microdosing instead ugh. but before that a big trip to confront myself bc this aint working
 
Well my last piss test had amphetamine in it... So there goes the adhd meds for now. Shiet. Got bupre running through my veins atm and relaxing me but little tired from not sleeping what my meds "require" me to ~12 hours.
 
Kara Kava said:
Angry, because i can't escape racism
Not even here
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It's not fucking racism to hate gypsies.
on.my.way🌿 said:
Had at nice day at my moms place. WAte dinner and watched Devs with my mum , later on I drank some wine with my brother, watched some dayz gameplay and smoked a few spliffs.
Then my husband called and was mad I bc i waited 10mins to call him up even though i texted him saying i was taking a cig with mum. those things really gives me warning signals but i guess im just paranoid gonna leave this shit behind as soon as i have the energy for it we dont want the same things in life and has way different values anyways and he would be way better of without me,also dont wanna fuck up his sobriety again
Man idk what i would do if i did not have bluelight to express myself on it really makes me feel less lonely just rambling in this thread lol
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Sounds pretty hard. I think you should talk about these things with your husband. Relationships need to be micro-managed on very little things all the time, so little things don't stack up and turn to bad things.
There have been studies about how in relationships where there are less than 2 or 3 negative interactions for every 8 good, it will lead most likely to seperation.
I'd rather take the risk of fight with my woman, than let some shit annoy me for a long time and try to ignore it.
Wish you're well, neighbor.
 
Thanks for the advice @DeadManWalkin' im gonna try to talk to him. And I should really try to talk the truth this time. I don't really even see a future with him, but THE SEPARATION ANXIETY ugghhh, can't ruin his life bc I have that though. Who knows maybe some things resolve themselves if I just talk to him.
 
madness00 said:
For me when i trip i need to be in a good head space or else shit gets weird.

Be careful, get comfy and enjoy.
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I don't think i'll ever bee in a good enough headspace haha. But if I decide to take a big trip imma have some kind of trip killer available. Mushrooms is much less intense for me in a way compared to LSD but that really depends on the dosing. Probably gonna try the microdosing for a couple of weeks first.
Looking at the weather for the next 14 days, it seems that maaaybe they will start growing in a week or two, if the weather keeps being this cool. Can't wait go go out and start picking <3
 
on.my.way🌿 said:
I don't think i'll ever bee in a good enough headspace haha. But if I decide to take a big trip imma have some kind of trip killer available. Mushrooms is much less intense for me in a way compared to LSD but that really depends on the dosing. Probably gonna try the microdosing for a couple of weeks first.
Looking at the weather for the next 14 days, it seems that maaaybe they will start growing in a week or two, if the weather keeps being this cool. Can't wait go go out and start picking <3
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It's gonna be okay, shorty.
 
I started this morning feeling ok but by the afternoon I am feeling very upset. Not suicidal but wanting to bawl my eyes out. But for some reason I am unable to cry.

I saw the counselor yesterday but I guess I didn't cry and that's why I am still hurting. I need to release the pain. I don't need to cry once - more like 100 times.
 
Feeling good @ 4 days meth free. Last time made it to 5 days so here's hoping tomorrow is a stress free day. So far no cravings or major depression etc. The only downside is I have developed symptoms of Tardive Dyskinesia and I don't know if it is from lingering effects of heavy meth abuse, the antipsychotics I've been taking to help avoid comedowns or the relatively small doses of Rx d-amp I'm still taking for ADD. Seems like I should stop taking all of them and just let my dopamine system recover naturally or maybe with some Tyrosine.
 
Flynnal said:
I started this morning feeling ok but by the afternoon I am feeling very upset. Not suicidal but wanting to bawl my eyes out. But for some reason I am unable to cry.

I saw the counselor yesterday but I guess I didn't cry and that's why I am still hurting. I need to release the pain. I don't need to cry once - more like 100 times.
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Does you think listening to music might help?

I don't usually cry at love songs i tear up during a great guitar solo or something but it can be equally as cathartic.

Atelier3 said:
Feeling good @ 4 days meth free. Last time made it to 5 days so here's hoping tomorrow is a stress free day. So far no cravings or major depression etc. The only downside is I have developed symptoms of Tardive Dyskinesia and I don't know if it is from lingering effects of heavy meth abuse, the antipsychotics I've been taking to help avoid comedowns or the relatively small doses of Rx d-amp I'm still taking for ADD. Seems like I should stop taking all of them and just let my dopamine system recover naturally or maybe with some Tyrosine.
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Might be overwhelming to stop it all at once, but its a great goal.

What do you do for fun?
 
Atelier3 said:
I've started going to the gym but mostly I just play with my dog - nice long walks - , read and watch TV. I've been thinking I need a proper hobby or 2.
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Do you like plants and stuff? For me it's such a lovely hobby, it's really fun watching them grow and take care of them, and your place will look awesome after a while i you get sucked into this hobby haha. In spring I had like 7 plants, now im att over 100. Coleus is my absolute favourite, they come in all differrent awesome colours, most of them grow fast and they are really easy to propagate (don't know if that's the right word?) Now I have this project to start cross breeding them also which can make totally different kinds

TL;DR
Plants are super fun! Would recommend 10/10
 
On topic:
Feeling a little better day by day, but some days are still worse then others. Starting to get a little happy from cleaning the house again lol so I guess my dopamine levels are better. Not feeling suicidal either. Still wishing for another life than this one though. Gonna try to make some plans about what I need/want to change in my life.
 
on.my.way🌿 said:
Do you like plants and stuff? For me it's such a lovely hobby, it's really fun watching them grow and take care of them, and your place will look awesome after a while i you get sucked into this hobby haha. In spring I had like 7 plants, now im att over 100. Coleus is my absolute favourite, they come in all differrent awesome colours, most of them grow fast and they are really easy to propagate (don't know if that's the right word?) Now I have this project to start cross breeding them also which can make totally different kinds

TL;DR
Plants are super fun! Would recommend 10/10
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Yep. I like plants and making gardens but I’m less keen on weeding them.
 
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