A decent day today...one of my connects hooked me up cause I went by his house and shoveled his cars and walkway twice today...gave me a bag that had about 4 or 5 bags worth in it.Feelin' pretty good then my boss calls to help him shovel & plow and after that I cop some "Lucky Charms" and got a nice nod goin....ahhhhhhh
wow, shoveling and he hooked it up!? good for you, man.
I started my Vivitrol shot today; coming off about 5 days clean and was able to get the shot; I pissed dirty but I told her I wanted the shot anyway and they gave it and I feel FINE; been about 4 hours since I got it and WOULD have been sick by now but I am fine and SHOULD BE FINE for the rest of the day/night/tomorrow, whatever to happen next.
lets see if I am able to STAY CLEAN and PLAY CLEAN and what is next. do I wanna be clean?! not really.. but I will keep it as is still I fuck up again and ruin life AGAIN! lol. I just dont want to be spending the money I do but I need to TRY and get clean and see what happens next; as of now I need things to chill the fuck out and be able to keep it as is; as things change, I change, people change, whatever, then we'll see how things play out, but for now I will see if I can stay clean. I do NOT PLAN to stay completely clean but I do plan to stay away from dope for a bit. one day when I come back ill be able to use but NOT AS MUCH as I was just using; maybe I can use a half or quarter gram rather than full grams a day, who knows. lets just hope things go my way and I can keep things "good" for now, right? sure. I am RIGHT! RIGHT? yea, I am RIGHT, right? lol yea I am right, AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN!
for once tho I have been CLEAN and NOT USING and NOT WITHDRAWING and NOT DOPE SICK and NOT EVERYTHING ELSE BAD that happens to a JUNKIE LIKE MYSELF! so lets see how things go from here but I THINK I am happy right now and I am happy to stay clean and keep things clean and play it clean and have things just go my way.
pray for me peeps, I need this.