Hey, im from CT but I see that the MA thread is a million times more hoppin so I figured id post here to introduce myself. Female, mid 20s, been in the game since I was 16. Started with the roxys, oxys, then dope at 17. Since I started the longest sober time I had was 6 months because I actually wanted it. I feel like Im starting to work up to kicking again. I felt this way the first time I got truly clean but arent quite there yet. Anyway, because I dont currently have a job, I got laid off 3 months ago and am not collecting or nothing I am very savy with my dope. I score every single day, am fortunate enough to have GREAT dealers who deliver to me at the drop of a dime, even in the snow..even if its only for a few bags. I avg a bun a day, and I shoot 2x a day. I usually wakeup, make my calls and do my first early afternoon, then I go on and live a normal life and do my last shot at night when its "me" time and can relax..usually around 11 after my mother gets home from work. So right now im just occupying myself and getting into a chill mode till then. Ive learned with my high tolerance which I effin hate and curse to hell, and my financial predicament to just learn to space out two decent shots. Otherwise its a waste. If rather get an okay shot twice than mutliple shitty unpowerful ones throughout the day. Today was the first day in.a while that I got a decent nod going earlier. The dope ive been getting was fire, but its fallen off a bit. Superman? Def has some strange cut but its stronger then.anything else ive had around. Sorry if im rambling. Just a bit lonely tonight. Im a super extroverted outgoing person and this snow everyday shit makes it SUPER difficult to see my man or any friends. So I miss ppl. Lol. And as many of you know, interacting with your PARENTS everyday just isnt the same. My man knows about my overall addiction issue, he does not know about my recent run, he thinks I am still taking my suboxone tho he isnt stupid and prob does know and is just waiting for me to come forth,.admit it, and get back on the right track. He is not an addict but is as close to someone who isnt one understanding one, which is a true blessing. Being very young, and getting hooked at such a young age I feel mega robbed and have no idea how to live life as a stable responsible striving adult. This economy is shit, my student loans are in the mid 5 digits..its so hard. Im not bitching, im just stating how it is. That's where a lot of my dope use comes in. Id rather get high then get overwhelmed by ALL the self work, and general work that comes with becoming a succesful adult. I feel that I don't know where to start or how, so I get mega overwhelmed and want to get high. I also LOVE the feeling that dope produces. That rush man, that rush. I love it. I dont know HOW I can ever not stop liking or loving it. I guess thats not it, its more.of learning to live without it knowing u LOVE it. If anyone wants to chat hit me up. I think I gave u enough general info and insight for you to tell if wed jive or not.