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June Getting and/or Staying Sober Thread

Yeesh, got some cravings out of nowhere (well not nowhere, I am waiting on money to be deposited so I can pay to see my addiction specialist)... so I had to use this:



Not planning a relapse and not planning to use, but its still uncomfortable. Thankfully, I know that using will only make it worse.

Also great job everyone in this thread and I greatly appreciate the words of encouragement.
 
If it helps at all, I regret my relapse. Not beating myself up about it, but honestly, it wasn't worth it.

Its not like you can really even enjoy it anyway, cos in the back of your mind its just like "I had xx days clean.. what am I doing?"
 
BlueSaffron said:
Its not like you can really even enjoy it anyway, cos in the back of your mind its just like "I had xx days clean.. what am I doing?"
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Oh my god, I know. For me, it makes it worse because I would always try to use so much that I would try to block that thought out. Which wasn't possible.
 
Yup.. I didn't feel good about it at all. I tried to put that out of my mind and enjoy it, but it was hard.

Anyway, hopefully I'm truly done with all that now. Third day no dope and plan to keep it that way. Weds June 4th was my first clean day after my relapse, so I'm counting from there. I have absolutely no desire to use right now, even though my methadone hasn't kicked in all the way. I want to just push through this time and finally get to the other side. I want to know what it's like to feel good without drugs again. Like I mentioned in another thread, I've been on opiates for a long time - years. I know what it is to be high, to be dopesick, to be well on methadone... and I know what it is to be sober - BUT, I was only sober for a few days after I took my last methadone dose (when I tapered off). I couldn't take it and relapsed - I was still sick and felt like crap cos I tapered too fast. What I'm getting at is it has been so long since I was sober but feeling GOOD, that I actually honest-to-god don't remember what it feels like. But I want to know again, so that's why I'm still here, trying hard and doing the best I can.

I want to wake up and open the window and smell the fresh air and feel the sun on my face and feel GOOD. No sickness, no PAWS, nothing - I just want to feel good. That's my goal, that's what I"m working for.
 
30 days for me today! Its also my Birthday as well. I am basically just going to be going to work and a meeting. Nothing special. I am not really sad about not "celebrating" it because my definition of "celebrating" gets me back out there and starting to kill myself.

June 7

Someone who believes in me

“Just for today, I will have faith in someone in NA who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery.”

Basic Text, p. 100

––––=––––

Not all of us arrive in NA and automatically stay clean. But if we keep coming back, we find in Narcotics Anonymous the support we need for our recovery. Staying clean is easier when we have someone who believes in us even when we don’t believe in ourselves.

Even the most frequent relapser in NA usually has one staunch supporter who is always there, no matter what. It is imperative that we find that one person or group of people who believes in us. When we ask them if we will ever get clean, they will always reply, “Yes, you can and you will. Just keep coming back!”

We all need someone who believes in us, especially when we can’t believe in ourselves. When we relapse, we undermine our already shattered self-confidence, sometimes so badly that we begin to feel utterly hopeless. At such times, we need the support of our loyal NA friends. They tell us that this can be our last relapse. They know from experience that if we keep coming to meetings, we will eventually get clean and stay clean.

It’s hard for many of us to believe in ourselves. But when someone loves us unconditionally, offering support no matter how many times we’ve relapsed, recovery in NA becomes a little more real for us.

––––=––––

Just for today: I will find someone who believes in me. I will believe in them.
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Many dog is new to all of this. My dog has been taking 200+ mg of oxycodone 30s a day for awhile now just snorting them. My dog has gone 12 hours without now and has one suboxone. He's scared and doesn't know what to do. He just wants it to stop

Any helpful words would mean the world to my dog
 
Cnote321 said:
Many dog is new to all of this. My dog has been taking 200+ mg of oxycodone 30s a day for awhile now just snorting them. My dog has gone 12 hours without now and has one suboxone. He's scared and doesn't know what to do. He just wants it to stop

Any helpful words would mean the world to my dog
Click to expand...

Can you go to see a Suboxone doctor? You can recover! Fear is normal. For me, I have to be willing to go to any lengths to stay clean. This means my recovery must always come first. What are you willing to do (honest question). It very difficult to do this alone, please consider seeing a doctor. After that, maybe try NA/AA/SMART and/or an Addiction Specialist.

If you don't have insurance, you can still get help.
 
That is great to hear CH and BS, keep up the great work. Cnote, welcome!

And thank you for the birthday wishes!
 
That is great to hear CH and BS, keep up the great work. Cnote, welcome!

And thank you for the birthday wishes!
 
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