June Getting and/or Staying Sober Thread

[phactor]

I'm kind of all at sea about what to do with my future regarding drug and alcohol use. Realistically I know I need to cut everything except maybe a few beers or a spliff out but I think there's also a fair amount of chance I'm in denial and need to be teetoal really. Fuck knows, I can see things getting difficult when I actually get to the end of my benzo taper though and everything becomes more real.

Very confusing state of mind to be in. The naltrexone is making it very difficult to drink much even if I want to though (which I haven't anyway), question is what the fuck else is it doing? No one knows really.

I don't know what to do really, I don't want to have to become 100% abstinent but I'm well aware I might be in denial.

GAAHHHHH!!!

Its just way easier for me to be totally abstinent for the moment, I cannot control my drug use. I know today I will not use, tommorow I plan to as well. Sometimes my thoughts will wander and say "maybe in 30 years there will be medicine that allows me to have a drink once in awhile" but that is in 30 fricking years. Today I am not going to use.

Managing addictions, including alcohol and weed is a tremendous and consuming task for me. The thing about those two substances is I can get away with using them, however that was even becoming less and less (particularly with alcohol).

I also look back and realize that I wasn't taking my Wellbutrin (which helps with depression and my ADD) because it wasn't letting me enjoy weed. That is just crazy to me right now. I wasn't taking something that helps me control anxiety, allows me to work with my feelings and handle them, get shit done and not feel depressed and I wasn't taking it because I wanted to "enjoy the high". WTF...

But your experience may differ, there are people that eventually learn to control their use. I am not one of them.

I have 202 days off suboxone

Awesome Awesome Awesome!!

Keep it up CH and everyone in this thread. Remember any positive change is a victory.

 

[southeast]

So, not entirely sure if I even want to write this post since... I am not sure if... pretty sure I will get high tomorrow. I want to not do that but most of me right now is like FUCK who cares, get high, take immodium, get a break, who cares if it will be another month of no sleep? Wompwompwomp.
Hoping I will wake up and everything will be open... and I won't want to. For now, please send me good vibes and strength, bluelighters.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I have 203 days off Suboxone.

 

[neversickanymore]

June is in the books... nice work everyone!!!!!!!!