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June Getting and/or Staying Sober Thread

60 hours into detox and holding in there . I'm so fucking excited for the morning I wake up not " sick " and can enjoy the summer free of this bullshit . It makes me so happy to see others staying strong . Keep your head up whitexrabbit . Please don't think of it as you lost 5 months . The only day you lost was yesterday . That's it . Keep moving forward .

Sucks ,but I have to go into work -_- . Barely enough energy to walk up stairs and sweating my ass off , but I'll probably feel better than moping around the house . All You guys are keeping me clean today ,seriously .
 
whitexrabbit said:
Ugh don't know how I let myself.., but I used yesterday after almost 5 months being clean. Some dilaudid literally fell into my lap. And it totally wasn't worth it!!! The high wasn't even enjoyable because I was so angry at myself the whole time. There was a huge thrill in having it and the anticipation of using... But it was hugely disappointing, and I remember feeling this way last time I fell off the wagon. I hope I can remember this feeling to resist temptation next time.
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My last relapse showed me that I just cannot get anything out of using anymore. Crazy shit is, I have kinda known this for several years, I just kept thinking it would get better.

-----

Once again, crazy good shit keeps happening in my life. Literally as I was writing this post the mailman came: I got two things I badly need right now:

1. My stepwork guide from NA world services came in

2. I qualified for medicaid coverage due to the Medicaid expansion program in Illinois. I have health insurance again!

-----

Wow. I needed this to happen today.
 
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Quantz said:
60 hours into detox and holding in there . I'm so fucking excited for the morning I wake up not " sick " and can enjoy the summer free of this bullshit .
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Thank you for saying that - you totally reminded me that one of the reasons I want to quit is so I can be free and happy this summer instead of spending it wrapped up in dope bullshit.

It makes me so happy to see others staying strong . Keep your head up whitexrabbit . Please don't think of it as you lost 5 months . The only day you lost was yesterday . That's it . Keep moving forward .
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I agree completely. YOu didn't lose 5 months, you lost one day. Just like I didn't lose my 2 weeks clean, I lost 3 days. And tomorrow I'm getting back on track.

Sucks ,but I have to go into work -_- . Barely enough energy to walk up stairs and sweating my ass off , but I'll probably feel better than moping around the house . All You guys are keeping me clean today ,seriously .
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I find moving around and being occupied helps, even when you have no energy. Plus you'll be tired tonight which will help you be able to sleep :)
 
Thanks guys! That really means the world to me! I'm working hard toward a few goals and this kinda snuck up on me. I'm eating well, working out. Trying to further my career, and hoping one day to further my family. My husband has been telling me how proud he is if me... But he doesn't know about my addiction as it was all on secret. Don't want to disappoint him.
 
72 Hours and ohhh this WD is fucking me in the ass .

- recap of the last 3 hours -

hoodie on . Fuck i'm hot
hoodie off . holy shit why is it so cold
hoodie on . christ is this a bedroom or a sauna i need some air
*slides back door open to lean outside* ohhhh no fuck that , is it june or november?
back inside .
sits on couch .
punches thighs
paces around living room removing and replacing hoodie
switches position on couch 87 times
rolls off couch on to floor
rolls to bedroom
repeat

FML
 
Grateful to wake up clean today! Should be finishing up my 3rd step tonight. Going to go talk to my school about what would be required for a CADC. Still nowhere near making a concrete decision on that but at least I can explore this today. If I was using I couldn't.
 
Quantz said:
72 Hours and ohhh this WD is fucking me in the ass .

- recap of the last 3 hours -

hoodie on . Fuck i'm hot
hoodie off . holy shit why is it so cold
hoodie on . christ is this a bedroom or a sauna i need some air
*slides back door open to lean outside* ohhhh no fuck that , is it june or november?
back inside .
sits on couch .
punches thighs
paces around living room removing and replacing hoodie
switches position on couch 87 times
rolls off couch on to floor
rolls to bedroom
repeat

FML
Click to expand...

Man... I'm so sorry you're in the middle of this right now but THANK YOU for posting this. Very nice reminder for me as to why I don't want to risk using because of what can happen, and I need every reminder I can get right now. So, thank you for the reminder and I hope you start to feel better soon! Warm showers/baths are the absolute best thing, you will get very intense relief while laying there in the warm water.
 
Quantz said:
72 Hours and ohhh this WD is fucking me in the ass .

- recap of the last 3 hours -

hoodie on . Fuck i'm hot
hoodie off . holy shit why is it so cold
hoodie on . christ is this a bedroom or a sauna i need some air
*slides back door open to lean outside* ohhhh no fuck that , is it june or november?
back inside .
sits on couch .
punches thighs
paces around living room removing and replacing hoodie
switches position on couch 87 times
rolls off couch on to floor
rolls to bedroom
repeat

FML
Click to expand...

Been there <3 72 hours in is good progress though, just hang in there and it should start to get better soon. There's nothing like that feeling when you realize the WD's are getting a little bit better... that little light at the end of the tunnel helps a lot. You should be seeing it soon :)
 
I was having such horrible cravings last month, and now I feel absolutely fine. Got my subutex sorted out, I guess it is really helping, I don't know.. I went to work in a club up north for the weekend and it was a total shit-hole, girls were snorting coke out in the open in the dressing room (strippers snorting coke isn't really an anomaly, but I can honestly say it's the first time I've seen two girls do it right out in the open, with a fucking new girl in the room as well, normally you would at least go to the bathroom to do that shit) and I had one girl pushing me to buy some. I'm not really into stimulants anymore, but hey, £40 for a gram of coke isn't bad. And if I had pushed her I'm sure I could have gotten some benzos if not H or some kind of lesser opiate. But I just turned it down and went about my business! I'm glad all those cravings are gone, but I really don't want to be on the subutex anymore and I feel like this means cutting down isn't an option.
 
Still clean today 70 days now. I don't know why but I feel bad about being on Gabapentin even though it's prescribed for anxiety by a doc. Honestly, I feel like it's doing nothing but making me feel numb and dizzy. I got convinced to start that shit in rehab and i've been on it ever since, at this point when I don't take it my anxiety is terrible. There's no physical W/D, it's all mental really but I want off it.

Anyway, that's really minor compared to what i've been through with opiate W/D and what some others in here are going thru. Good to see so many people getting and stayin clean in these threads, you all inspire me to stay clean!
 
^They put me on, I think it was, 3000 mg of Gaba when I was in rehab... I was so anxious I was scratching my skin off (literally, it's a really horrible habit that I have when I get worked up) and they didn't want to give me anything else, so they just kept doubling it, I was taking 900 mg 3x a day. When I got back to my regular GP he was horrified, it took me almost 5 months to taper off of it because the WDs were so horrible.

If it's helping you though and you aren't abusing it or getting some high from it, nothing to be ashamed of! It personally had no effect on me.
 
mrs_mia_wallace said:
^They put me on, I think it was, 3000 mg of Gaba when I was in rehab... I was so anxious I was scratching my skin off (literally, it's a really horrible habit that I have when I get worked up) and they didn't want to give me anything else, so they just kept doubling it, I was taking 900 mg 3x a day. When I got back to my regular GP he was horrified, it took me almost 5 months to taper off of it because the WDs were so horrible.

If it's helping you though and you aren't abusing it or getting some high from it, nothing to be ashamed of! It personally had no effect on me.
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Yikes glad you're off it now. I had almost the same exact situation except it sorta helped me at first, I was on a high dose as well and when I wanted to come off it in rehab they wouldn't let me! I'm down to only 600-900mg a day been slowly tapering. I need to get off now, the longer im on it the worse the w/d will be. I don't think it's really doing much anymore I get a small mood boost for a few hours and that's it, doesn't seem to help anxiety much more then placebo at this point.
 
Crap, I keep getting my dates mixed up. I will have 28 days tomorrow. My 30 day clean will actually fall on my Earth birthday.
 
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Another sleepless night. Insomnia blows. I can't wait to get out of here and start this 2 month stay at the monastery. I'll be sleeping in a tent for the two months, and I always sleep way better outside. Fresh air, waking up with the sun... I think I'll be on quite a solid schedule by the end of it.
 
what a great thing for you to help your uncle or anyone for that matter.My husband and I are both recovering heroin addicts and its hard to find anyone that cares or will help cuz we all know how Bad us drug users are.everyone needs somebody and there really are not many good people left out there in the world.i would help anyone in need but when it came down to me needing help where were my friends and family then?it wasn't their problem its mine so we have no help!!!Koodoos to you for helping someone who needed you!!!we will be fighting our addictions til the day we die!!Good luck to anyone serious about getting off drugs and starting their life..
 
I have been clean from heroin for 2 years and I still have cravings but just stick to it its worth it if you truly want your life back!!!!
 
Hey guys so I'm back on the wagon
60 days no heroin
32 days no subs
32 days no xanax
32 days no pot or alcohol either

I feel like I don't want to count anymore cuz when I do I always fuck up.
I really hope I get it this time I have already lost everything and I want to start getting some things back especially my family.

I can't take it anymore that we don't speak I hope time will heal our relationship.

I am currently living in Florida I had to get away from NY its to toxic for me there.

Neways I hope everyone is well hopefully soon I will be able to start posting some more.

Love you all stay safe
 
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