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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Jobseeker's Allowance Megathread ver. The Jeremy Kyle Fan Club

They tell me I'd be brilliant at it.

Skills required: the art of bullshitting people and lying to gullable folk.

Easy!
 
The RZA said:
As I said earlier, I'm fine with it too as long as it's done in a socially & morally acceptable way (ie not picking up dogshit)

If you're disabled, too ill to work, old & alone etc - then I'm all for the state looking after you as long as it's needed, regardless of cost.

But, if you're a fit healthy person who can work (in an area where there is work) then I'm all for not making benefits attractive enough to consider as a long term option.
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Who decides whether someone is "fit" to do a job? Someone with a bad back who looks "fit" may do themselves serious damage bending to reach dogshit 40 hours a week.

Seeing as rich people have assumed control of the land and we can't grow and hunt our own food anymore, why shouldn't we pay the unemployed a measly £64 a week?
 
goabroad.com

Some cracking jobs on here like this one in Brazil...

Soccer Comentator
Description
For those watching football matches and would like to have their ticket paid + earn some easy money, read the following:

We are looking for people going to football matches (or those who don't go and would like to go and earn some money) and provide our clients with a live-update of the match they watch on the field via mobile phone.

And then probably my perfect job...

Get Paid to Party In Asia
Description
Party Earth is continually looking for writers to research clubs, bars, outdoor activities, beaches, plazas, casinos, parks, coffee shops, pubs and other social venues for our books and website.

Researchers have the opportunity to earn money while researching and writing about the hottest places throughout Asia. If you are living, studying or traveling in any of the following cities for an extended period of time, then being a Party Earth Researcher is an opportunity you can't miss!

- Bangkok
- Beijing
- Hong Kong
- Mumbai
- Shanghai
- Tokyo
 
Never trust a job advert that says you have the "opportunity" to make money. That means you don't actually get paid anything.
 
Ismene are you suggesting we should abandon all this capitalism nonsense and live off the land like our forefathers? I for one am sharpening my spear as I'm writing this.
 
I can't spell for shit Issy and my grammer is appauling so I won't be applying anyway. Would love to be paid to party in Asia though. :)
 
I was supposed to sign on this morning at half 9. Went to bed at 5 when my alarm went off at half 7 I must have just ignored it because didn't wake up again till 9. Phoned them and asked to rearrange, was told someoneone would phone me back but as of yet they haven't and knowing the job centre probably won't.

Do you reckon if I just ignore it now and turn up as normal in 2 weeks time I'll still get paid or am I gonna have to call them to rearrange a new appt in places of todays?
 
TheSpade said:
I was supposed to sign on this morning at half 9. Went to bed at 5 when my alarm went off at half 7 I must have just ignored it because didn't wake up again till 9. Phoned them and asked to rearrange, was told someoneone would phone me back but as of yet they haven't and knowing the job centre probably won't.

Do you reckon if I just ignore it now and turn up as normal in 2 weeks time I'll still get paid or am I gonna have to call them to rearrange a new appt in places of todays?
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You should have just went down late. Go down tomorrow and say you were off seeing about a job they should let you sign on there and then. They're useless over the phone.
 
TheSpade said:
I'll probably phone later today / tomorrow / some point in the week. :p
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I'd do it today.

I used to frequently miss my sign on......not on purpose. Recently they were only paying me my NI , as I wasn't entitled to dole but still had to sign on so I used to forget when my sign on day was as no money was landing in my bank.

If you phone them on the day you've missed it, they have spare slots after 2pm which you can just turn up to, they'll fit you in eventually.

If you don't phone at all you automatically get signed off, and it's REALLY REALLY hard to get signed back on.

Do you reckon if I just ignore it now and turn up as normal in 2 weeks time I'll still get paid or am I gonna have to call them to rearrange a new appt in places of todays?
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You'll get signed off.

Unlucky.

tm1210 said:
You should have just went down late. Go down tomorrow and say you were off seeing about a job they should let you sign on there and then. They're useless over the phone.
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Balls, they're actually helpful on the phone if you are polite to them.
 
Cherry is right, they're not keen on you missing your signing on date. Not keen at all. I think they might start taking money off you every day you leave it.
 
Balls, they're actually helpful on the phone if you are polite to them.
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This has never proved to be the case for me.

My experience with job centre staff both in person and on the phone on the whole is negative. They mostly seem to employ the type of person who thinks they are superior to everyone else and have the right to talk down to you like you're an peice of shit.

I waited all day for the promised return phone call that never came, typical job centre they never return calls they say they will IME, so I called them about half 4 and I don't know whether it was the same person I spoke to earlier or not but she was a fucking bitch. We ended up having a big argument on the phone.

I expained the situation to her and said I'd been waiting al day for a phone call back to tell me when I could come in and she starts with all the "why did you miss your appointment, it's your own fault, this'll be marked against you" malarky. I said I know it's my own fault, that's not the point I called BEFORE my appointment and asked nicely for it to be rearranged and was told it wouldn't be an issue and someone would call me back. They didn't.

So she started with all the "well common sense would tell you not to wait till nearly closing time to call back" Common sense tells me I couldn't be fucked going to the dolescum centre today to speak to the dense bitch I've been assigned so I decided not to phone till closing time for exactly that reason. She starts giving me grief about all sorts so I said to her "look I didn't call for a lecture, if as promised you'd called me back to tell me when my appointment was I would have came down today but you never so don't start trying to blame me and don't talk to me like I'm an idiot OK". She was fucking fuming at this point and started going radge so I laughed at her and told her to stop being unproffessional and childish (this is always my trick with superiors / bosses / people who think they are in charge etc pisses them right off) and asked when I could come in. She says tomorrow. So I asked what time and she says I'll just need to come in and sit around and wait and hope there's a free slot. I'll go in tomorrow first thing, I'll wait 30mins max and if no one has seen me I'll be leaving. She can sign me off if she likes and stick the £65 a week up her arse. :D
 
Ismene said:
Dogshit? ;)

Have a little sympathy for the bastards tho spade, they must be dealing with jakey fuckers all day long.
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I'll be throwing dogshit at them if there's any more nonsense. Thing is Issy I was really polite to them on the phone, they were in the wrong for not phoning me back so I don't expect to be treated like a cunt.

FUCK THE JOB CENTRE!
 
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If you want anything done in life you have to be persistent, instead of waiting for a call back just keep calling them until they do what you need. Its the same with any company/organisation.
 
I didn't want anything done though Inso, I wanted to stay in bed and fuck the job centre off and the reason I didn't call them back till near closing time was because I didn't want to go today. :D
 
lol then you can't blame them if you can't be arsed to go in for your free money every 2 weeks :P
 
I just don't like the attitude from the bitch on the phone when I was polite, reasonable and had called in advance and been advised it was fine to rearrange then they fuck up and don't call back and try and make out that I'm the one in the wrong.

I don't think so sonny jim!
 
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