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Jobseeker's Allowance Megathread ver. The Jeremy Kyle Fan Club

TheSpade

TheSpade

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 15, 2005
Messages
37,782
The bitch I dealt with for my interview was a horrible horrible cunt. Demeaning, demoralising, sarcastic, rude, unhelpful. If everyone had someone like her it's no wonder so many people are unemployed.
 
I got a well nice lady on the phone when I was getting asked about 1000 questions with yes/no answers. She asked if I had any savings, and me not having a fucking clue was like, mmm i'm not sure I think so. And she said "i'll take that as a no then". =D
 
The women I got on the phone was a retard. She couldn't comprehend anything I told her, booked me in for an appointment firstly in the wrong town, then at the wrong job centre in the right town and logged my claim date incorrectly. Simpleton!
 
the bloke on the phone today said "if we accidentally put more into your account we will phone you to tell you not to spend it because we will be taking it back" So i said,
"you mean just incase you accidentally put 10 million in my account" and he laughed :D
 
Why would they say that, do they often accidentally give folk more money then take it back?
 
Like the time Orange accidentally put £70 on my phone instead of £20. That was a good day. They didn't sort it out til I'd spent most of it but didn't bother getting at me for spending it all.

Not that I'm the type of person who will spend £70 of credit in a day, but if it's there I might as well use it before my luck runs out.
 
Jobs, dole etc.

How many posters on here are fully fledged dole scum and how many are locked into the daily grind?

Come on, don't be shy - I'm not here to judge, I'm just a nosey bastard.

The working contingent can even spill the beans on what they earn of they wish.
 
No not really, that OP is asking more about whether drugs fuck about with your job.

I just want to know how many posters on here are signing on, I'm not overly bothered about why they're signing on.
 
I'm employed, kinda. I do SEO and affiliate marketing from home. Work about 2 hours a day. Not rich, but not poor either.
 
On the dole - they're starting to wise to me. I just sometimes forget that I'm on the dole, then realise that I really want and need a job. So they wonder why I'm not getting any replies. I'm just holding out to get one of these civil service jobs, but they're not announced till late June.
 
Karaboudjan said:
I'm a professional gambler. I tour the interwebnet bagging bonuses by night and by day...well, I sleep and have the occasional pub lunch.

Oh shit, I'm not Spade.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure why but Kara just answered for me. :D
 
Indeed, SEO is basically just taking advantage of how search engines like Google operate in order to make your listing appear above everyone else's. :)
 
I have a job but I'd hardly call it being locked into a daily grind. I only have to work Monday to Thursday, with a 3 day weekend every week. Plus I have minions to make me tea and biscuits as well as go and get me lunch if I don't feel like getting some fresh air at lunch time. Throw in the fact I can sit here on bluelight for the next 30minutes and I'd say Spade probably works harder than me.
 
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