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JaNEWary -- January getting/staying sober thread

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Bah insomnia. Bane of my existence.

It's funny though, in looking for the positive in the fact that i over slept and missed the yoga class I wanted to attend, I realized that i may have injured a muscle in my upper left abdomen. Maybe the 90 minute class would have been too much today. Not even sure if 60 minute is a good idea, I guess i'll see how it feels in a couple hours.
 
happy new year, all :)

I am going to decrease with the goal of quitting marijuana in the next 4-6 weeks. I am currently smoking 3-5 times per day. It has been 3 hours, and I'm craving but going to go to meditation group and watch the craving as I go. So I am starting with increasing the amount of time in-between puffs. This is going to be a process, but I have done it before and looking forward to the benefits of smoking significantly less.
 
caseface99 said:
Bah insomnia. Bane of my existence.

It's funny though, in looking for the positive in the fact that i over slept and missed the yoga class I wanted to attend, I realized that i may have injured a muscle in my upper left abdomen. Maybe the 90 minute class would have been too much today. Not even sure if 60 minute is a good idea, I guess i'll see how it feels in a couple hours.
Click to expand...

So I my side/rib muscle started feeling a lot better a couple hours after posting this, i did some stretching and decided it was safe to go to yoga today. So glad that i went. I took it slightly easier then yesterday just to be safe, and all the pain seems to have worked itself out through all the stretching and whatnot. Feeling high on life again after a good yoga session - about to go do sit ups, pushups, and run. Maybe even pull ups today! :)

(hoping this feeling lasts till tonight this time... I wanna sleep not stay up late depressed. but at least I've accepted i don't have any control other than to do healthy activities and hope for the best)
 
So I decided a while ago it was probably ready for me to clean out my system. I suffered some pretty severe psychosis over the past week or two (constant voices in my head that felt like me talking psychically to people) and during this time I threw out all of my drugs, except Diclazepam, Flubromazepam and Piracetam. I used 4-5 Diclazepam during a period where my psychosis was worse and I was scared and didn't know what to do, yesterday morning or the night before, so I handed over all of them to my mother so that she could give me them only if I really needed them.

I've had a couple of seizures but I had the one beer today and it stopped my shakes for a while. The shakes are back now a little but I'm going to avoid mentioning that since I don't want to worry my family.

Unfortunately I did this all because I just wanted to make my family happy, when I could have tapered avoided such nasty withdrawals. Purgatory seems real to me now.

Thankfully things have gotten much easier over the last 3 days, and so hopefully this whole ordeal will be over soon. I always had very short wds in the past but this time they've been longer, though it seems the opi withdrawals are coming to an end and its just the benzo ones I have to get through.

Wish you all the best of luck with your sobriety.
 
Wow thats some amazing progress man keep it up! Keep us updated with how you're doing as well, this section of bluelight can be a great place for support.

Stick with it! :)
 
Wow, I did not even make it through the craving I mentioned above. I could not even hold myself back for 45 minutes.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I am highly motivated to quit smoking weed constantly throughout the day, as it affects my sleep, GI system, socially, and more. I need a system for quitting other than AA. Replacement behaviors is huge. I think I should start a blog if I am serious about quitting. It would be a good read and a very good place to pour that volcanic explosion of energy I will be poltergeisted through when I remove the THC.
 
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Just wanted to update anyone who may have been wondering... Still no opiates for me! :)
 
Awesome ad lib keep it up!

Still totally sober here. 243 Days. Another 24 down. It seems like since the 7 month mark, the closer I'm getting to a year the more difficult this is becoming. will be 8 months on tuesday. I guess the real difficulty is just my fears and the fact that my biggest fears are all a reality right now - and dealing with that is a constant battle. I do have moments of wellness though, especially during and after working out (and especially during yoga) So I'll just keep exercising and keep hitting meetings and yoga classes everyday and once school starts I'll just be as outgoing as possible and do my best to make friends. (and meet some girls that can hopefully help take my mind off my ex... :\ )

Anyway, another 24 and counting. Keep it up everyone.
 
Goodnight All.. I had a really good day today.. was really productive. looking forward to a good week on the horizon.
Starry-Night-6.jpg
 
1 month! Doing well, working out. Lost 5 lbs. made it through a 9 day vaca sober. Distraction is the name of the game. Congrats to those still going strong. Hugs to those struggling.
 
I think it is day 19. Past few days have been extremely unpleasent I think the long half life of diazepam has a lot to do with delayed onset of severe symptoms. I remember why I relapsed in the first place this feeling of general unwellness that never seems to go away. Going back on them again isn't an option so I will tough it out. It is strange coming to terms with a withdrawal syndrome that isn't linear, its weird to feel worse nearly 3 weeks in than in the initial week of the kick when acute symptoms traditionally manifest.
 
^Tell me about it.. I was fine in inpatient, refusing meds, feeling like I didn't need it, coming off of 5 years of high amounts of Buprenorphine..then at about the 2-3week mark, I had those pains in my legs. Benzos suck ass too..and can be way worse in withdrawal. I was also on a ton of alprazolam for about two years before I went to treatment. You doing this outside a facility is a big thing. It takes a lot of will power to be in the same environment and not go back to a quick fix..especially how long you've gone already. You've got this!:)
 
I am still learning how to navigate around this so I am really hoping I am posting in the right spot. Here is a summarized history of my experience with drug addiction....... garden variety user basically I was just a pot head for 15 years off and on fast forward to my 30s I got addicted to opiates completely ignorant to wd or physical dependence I struggled for about 4 years off and on with 1 and half years sobriety , meetings and a sponsor, I quit cold turkey I guess about 4/5 times and once was with a decent Xanax addiction too, I was physically dependent on it and the withdraw geez..... just bad and about 2 weeks each day getting better. Well its been 10 years now I am in my 40s and last year I got into h for about 3/4 months I got scared I was going to die and went to a suboxone Dr to do a maintence thinking maybe it would be a more permanent way to stay clean and I was scared of putting my body through the wds again. Obviously looking back huge bad decision but already done so now its time to deal with this. A year ago I was started on 3 strips aday, which I have never taken I was smart enough to know that was just to much, so I have basically been on an average of 6mg a day for a year, for a while I only took 4 but gradually took more. Well here is my experience with the subs , did they help yes it helped me get away from using and the shit that goes along with it, and the people so I am grateful for that but I really just want off and I want to stay off any drugs I am ready to be clean I know that the year I had was the best year of my life and I am ready to have that life again. I really learned about myself and things I liked I never even knew because I was high all the time. I had this plan of renting a place for a month and going to jump cold turkey, so I did not affect no one around me, I also have kept my sub use very private , most my family don't know I am on them, only one brother and my husband, so I figured I would just go and be miserable a few weeks , take a couple extra weeks to start exercising and eating write again, then come home clean. My husband was ok with that maybe a little worried but I don't think you can die from sub wd so I think I might want to die but would survive... well I got some feed back that it was a stupid idea so I am now in the process of tapering. I got little medication separators you know with the days on them and I have cut the strips up in 4/4/4/4/4 for a week then 4/2/4/2/4/2/4 for a week then2/2/2/2 for a week then what?? that's where I am at. That is my plan so far and I am on day 4 and feel ok , I am freezing and sitting in house with hat and coat on but I am ok I can deal with this. Also I been smoking a little to keep anxiety down that seems to come on at night and trying my best to avoid caffeine seems to make things worse. When should I start amino acids, vitamins, exercise, etc. I am going to go out and get some things I seen on here to help withwd such as herbs and vit etc but don't want to start them until I am jumping off completely so they actually help. I have 30+ chickens and if I am home I have to be up and working ( my plan on leaving so I could focus on getting better) so can anyone tell me with this current plan what I have to look forward to or any other advice or suggestions that might help. Oh and also I spit out my strips after they dissolve been doing so for about 5 months will that help me out any?? I spit them out because swallowing them make me sick?? Weird I know but I was convinced it was making me sick.... I hope this is not all over the place and ok to understand. I am just stressing and scared and need some encouragement or something..... thank you for reading
 
Lossingit, first off: good to have you! Sounds like you are making good progress already. You have a goal, you're motivated (fear's a great motivator) and guess what? You can be clean and sober.

I'm going to quote one of NSA's responses for something similar, as I think it might work for you, too:

neversickanymore said:
Hey TM.. your doing good dont beat yourself up.. I wouldn't use the sub.. cause the whole deal with trying to get through the acutes is to not stimulate the opiate receptors with anything. Plus if you use the sub then your going to extend your stay in the dark woods for quite a bit. heron which turns into morphine almost immediately in the blood stream has a half life of four hours or so.. so every four hour half of what was previously in your system at the start of that hour will be gone.. I will just throw a little depiction of how this works for anyone who may read it benefit.

So say you take in 100 mg of something with a half life of 10 hours then this is how it a half life goes..


100 - 50 10 hrs
50 - 25 20 hrs
25 - 12.5 30 hrs
12.5-6.25 40 hrs
and so on and so forth

So suboxone has a half life of about 24- 42 hours >source<
while morphine has a half life of 2-4 hours >source<

The significance of this is huge.. If you take the sub you will likely start the whole process over and may spend two weeks in acute withdrawals because of the half life.. if you continue on you will be over the hill in about three days from when you started...


Your doing great though.. and we can support yah.. stay strong cause the little respite of the sub will just fuck ya in the end I think... :!

Fight fight fight..<3

can you get into see a doctor.. if you can here are the meds i would use if it was me in the thick of it..
The medications I would explore the use of for detox would be:
>Clonidine< DOSED EVER FOUR HOURS..

one of either
>NEURONTIN< >HERE< >HERE<
OR >Lyrica<

>A BENZO BUT JUST AT NIGHT<
>a nsaid<
>melatonin<
tylenol

Addiction Guide
The Brain and Addiction (under construction)

Then when the acutes are over you will need to come up with a plan to combat the PAWS and I recommend doing this before you begin to detox as our minds can get pretty clouded during this process so I think its better to have a plan in place ahead of time.

Why We Don’t Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS)
Post Acute Withdrawal (PAW) Excerpted From “Staying Sober” By: Terence T. Gorski
Post-acute-withdrawal syndrome Wiki
Hey I thought the grey matter of ADD could chew on this....
EXERCISE AND MOOD
Click to expand...

:)
 
Hey cohesion I just saw that you posted about relapsing and it got lost to other posts.

Just wanted to let you know it's ok, and that it may happen a couple times before you get the hang of this! You just have to stay positive and keep trying new things until you find something that works. When you have a craving, next time try stopping doing what you are doing if possible and start doing something else that will better engage your thinking, it may work to distract you and before you know it won't be thinking about using anymore for the time being.

Anyway, keep at it. Everyone.
 
Thanks cf :) :)
I wouldn't say I relapsed, as I am still deep in addiction, but I am going to start increasing the time between... Gain control slowly. I will start a blog tonight, I need that.
 
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