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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

TDS Introduce Yourself! Version: Hello! Hola! Bonjour! 你好!

A warm hello back to you, Paparverium. Is your struggle with opiates? Be sure to check out the Sober living sub forum as well. We have struggled with the name a bit as "sober" means different things to different people and we don't want it to seem as if everyone there is already living a completely substance free life. It has lots of good support both within the forum and also in terms of getting info on resources that may be available to you IRL. Again, welcome<3
 
Yeah opiates, and occasionally benzos. I quit ketamine for the most part, but I'd definitely like to not have this opi issue get much worse. I'm slippin', but I know it's never too late to turn it back around..
Gotta put my demons on a leash.
Thanks for welcoming me, I''m definitely checking the other pages ^^
 
Allein said:
Hi OG:)

Great to see your posts in this corner of Bluelight, you sound very positive about your detox and is great to see that and I'm sure you've got lots to contribute.
I'm sure these are tough times and I hope you find some of the support you need here, have you checked out the Sober-Living section, I guess I could check if you have but it's early here and I've not had my second coffee yet;)

All my best wishes to you and yours
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Yeah I've been in the sober living and TDS forum since day 1 of my detox. I've been visiting them every day. They're helping a lot. Everyone is very supportive.
 
Papaverium said:
Yeah opiates, and occasionally benzos. I quit ketamine for the most part, but I'd definitely like to not have this opi issue get much worse. I'm slippin', but I know it's never too late to turn it back around..
Gotta put my demons on a leash.
Thanks for welcoming me, I''m definitely checking the other pages ^^
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You're absolutely correct - it is never too late to turn things around.

There have been a great many times where I've felt just as your Location is listed: "Trapped between my mind and a hard place." Couldn't have put it better, in fact!

I think what has been of the most value to me has been learning that my mindset is able to be changed, if only I realize and accept that the 'hard place' can actually be re-molded through actions, and thus isn't very hard at all! My perceptions dictate my reality; it therefore stands to reason that misperception on my part would create false states of reality - most of them quite uncomfortable!
 
Hi all,

I'm also new, surprise surprise :D
I'm Dutch, currently living in Ireland.
Ive been on and off Benzo's for at least 8 years.
The problem I have is insomnia... It is quite bad at times, even through I try not to take anything, I do slip.

I found this forum by chance and so far it seems quite nice.
Thanks for having me :)
 
Welcome! Lots of people here have trouble with sleep--seems to be a very common experience.

If you have any questions don't hesitate to PM a moderator. I look forward to getting to know you.:)

herby
 
Hey there, fellow bluelighters. I'm happy to join the cause and share my story with you, as I progress from my former raging drug addict self, to a new, clean cut professional in the area I have studied my whole life for. I'm working hard to keep it together, and I hope to help others that are in a similar situation to that I was in for many years.

Good luck to you all!!! :D <3
 
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Hello everyone my name is sinclair and I've been struggling with opiates for seventeen years, I've currently been clean(my definition of clean is not using heroin)for nine months. I'm trying subutex this time and it seems to work better for maintenance than methadone, though I'm in more pain than with methadone. That's the catch 22 of my life. eight years ago I fell off of a sixty foot cliff and ended up with seven pins in my sholder and four in my neck after three different surgeries, so needless to say I have a pain factor to contend with. Bluelight has always been a huge help to me (actually literally saved my life once) so I found myself drawn
 
sinclair1984 said:
Hello everyone my name is sinclair and I've been struggling with opiates for seventeen years, I've currently been clean(my definition of clean is not using heroin)for nine months. I'm trying subutex this time and it seems to work better for maintenance than methadone, though I'm in more pain than with methadone. That's the catch 22 of my life. eight years ago I fell off of a sixty foot cliff and ended up with seven pins in my sholder and four in my neck after three different surgeries, so needless to say I have a pain factor to contend with. Bluelight has always been a huge help to me (actually literally saved my life once) so I found myself drawn
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Hey Sibclair, welcome!

So sorry to hear about your shoulder— I can't even begin to imagine what that may feel like.

Happy to have you on BL, stick around :) <3
 
Welcome back, sinclair! Learning to live with chronic pain is a bitch. Lots of people here came into opiate addiction through that door. I look forward to having you around and hearing how the subs go.
 
New to blue light, I'll keep this short. I am 22, and have a long history with opiates, since I was 10. I have had some pretty serious bout of depression, anxiety, self harm- all that fun stuff. I also have a family history of mental illness and addiction. I functioned as a heroin/opiate user for a good while, until I introduced myself to cocaine and the needle 2 years ago. Since then, pretty much everything has gone down hill... a bottle of wine, 12 mg hydromorph + .2 coke in a rig, that is both the love of my life, and my arch nemesis. My use has fluctuated, sometimes going on a bender for a few weeks, to where I am now, using sparingly... I only smoke weed everyday now, but I still binge sometimes, despite that I want to quit.

Thanks for the welcome.
 
Sounds like you have had an extremely rough start, slow.cheetah. Opiates from the age of 10??8( I'm really sorry but I'm glad you've found your way here.
 
It has been rough. I was first prescribed morphine syrup when I shattered my femur and was in a full body cast for about 3 months... Took more than a year to fully recover. I don't blame this for causing my addiction, but I always knew morphine was effective in numbing all pain, physical or mental. First time I was IV'd, I had just come out of surgery and was screaming and crying, and soon as I got felt the warmth, all that pain turned to pleasure, that feeling stayed with me for a years.

Recreationally, I became dependent at 16 when I started growing opium. I don't even necessarily have a problem with cocaine or alcohol, i never use them alone. I hate it without the opiate. It's just such a strong obsession, I'm sure a lot of you can relate. But on a positive note, I'm happy that I can go through a day without it now, I'm not on methadone, no withdrawals. Even if I cry all day and feel like shit, I still have a sense of accomplishment when I get through the day without using.
 
Hey, I'm Xorkoth, certainly not new to Bluelight or to TDS, but I left this place in 2011 and just recently came back and only more recently started posting in TDS again, and there are so many new people, I thought I'd re-introduce myself. I'm mostly active in Psychedelic Drugs (just got re-modded, I don't think my title is changed yet though). Back in the day, especially around 2006-2007 when I was last really happy, I used to post here a lot because my favorite part about Bluelight is that I can use my words to help people.

I have been addicted to opiates basically for 10 years, first kratom, then poppy tea with bouts of others here and there (including heroin). That combined with my increasingly bad relationship/marriage led me to leave this place, and what caused me to come back was finally getting out of that relationship. These days I am feeling pretty good, things improved for me 80% when I got out of that pattern of emotional abuse and control. In a week and a half I am going to take ibogaine to try to kill this addiction once and for all. I'm pretty excited and scared.
 
Welcome back, Xorkoth!! I hadn't known your personal story before, but I surely remembered your username ;) Where's it come from?

At any rate, I appreciated reading your post, with its frank and sincere elements. I know it'll be a pleasure to gave you back! I hope you enjoy the new three-forum Recovery Section spread!!

All the best,

~ Vaya
 
It comes from an online multiplayer text-based role-playing game called Dragonrealms that I played for many years as a kid and also a bit from 18-20. When I was younger I was SUPER into it, it was like my other life, I had friends and even a "wife" at one point (we almost met once, she was 18 and I was 16, I felt pretty pimpin' =D). Anyway, when I signed up for it I had to create my character's name, and the name Xorkoth came to me. I was a Moon Mage, it was such a fantastic game. Anyway, you could write scripts, complex scripts that would enter commands based on time and reactions to events. It was against the rules to "AFK script" (scripting to practice your boring skills that you needed to advance in level, while away from the keyboard/not paying attention to the game). If you got caught doing it, you were banned for life. Well I was working on a web site that would keep a record of magical devices in the game, there were a lot of special events and whatnot that resulted in unique or super-rare magical devices, and there existed no record of these in any place that you could go look up. So, I was working on this web site, and scripting my skills (when you got high-level it could take 6 hours of steady working on some skills to gain a rank in them and some of the skills there was no way to practice except for doing super boring shit constantly, unless you wanted it to take months and months on using that skill periodically to actually accomplish something). I was making sure to check back every 5 or 10 minutes (10 minutes was the limit they would allow you to script for without being responsive before they considered you to be AFK scripting). I switched back to the screen RIGHT after I saw that I got banned. And that was it, Xorkoth was no more. But, in honor of him, I started using Xorkoth as my online pseudonym. He'd been my alter-ego for so long, it was the only way to deal with the sudden loss. And it's worked out well, a unique name that people remember. :)
 
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