Readbetweentheline
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2013
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- 33
Feelings are not facts even though it feels like it sometimes - what I used to tell myself
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Readbetweentheline
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2013
- Messages
- 33
When I feel down I read this ^^^^^
Sprout
Bluelight Crew
When I feel down I read this ^^^^^
Trillions of billions, actually. Each making its finite journey as a progenitor, transcribing its very own, unique code. Ribonucleic acid chains, helically bonded by simple magnetism in protons.
An intergalactic, sentient, biochemical machine, symbiotically supporting microfauna, in the same way primitive cells absorbed the Mitochondria and Chloroplasts that allow 'life'.
Photolysis of H+ provides the e- to begin the process of Photosynthesis. A process we take for granted. The very air we breathe (as O2) is a byproduct, a WASTE product of the Calvin Cycle. Had a more organically efficient metabolic pathway evolved, one that utilises the post-resp. excess O2, who knows what path our ancestors would have taken, if aerobic life evolved at all.
Sprout
Bluelight Crew
Arguably; the 'you' referred to, our 'self', is 90% by mass microbial life - does the 10% qualify us as a separate life-form? A giant host? At what point do we stop existing as humans, instead as the biochemical fun-house that is mortally reliant on the encyclopedic mass of microbes that outnumber us?
Erikmen
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- May 3, 2014
- Messages
- 20,707
I have also tried. I didn't succeed, instead was in comma for 2 days.
could not hear or speak for the following days. It was the most horrific situation I have ever been.
I clearly understood I wouldn't ever make it,
as somehow we always manage to wake up, even if in another dimension
There is no way out, trust me..
Sprout
Bluelight Crew
It's the real, physical damage that resulted from the failure that hurts most.
Jaw-clenching and grinding after 1,500mg EPD orally, dissolved in Olbas Oil (ingestion causes cardioarrythmia, tachycardia and Ischemetic crises) after 48h intentional abstinence from the GABA-agonists/anti-seizure BZD's I was dependent upon, was so severe that my teeth are all but ruined.
Wisdom Teeth forcibly impacted, entire row of teeth crushed at a pivot, leaving them angular at 45¤, with the anterior roots snapped/torn. Flattened canines, chipped incisors, cratered molars.
I get frequent palpatations and left abdominal pain, with reduced sensitivity in extremities - had to write with my alternate, left hand, for weeks.
Jaw-clenching and grinding after 1,500mg EPD orally, dissolved in Olbas Oil (ingestion causes cardioarrythmia, tachycardia and Ischemetic crises) after 48h intentional abstinence from the GABA-agonists/anti-seizure BZD's I was dependent upon, was so severe that my teeth are all but ruined.
Wisdom Teeth forcibly impacted, entire row of teeth crushed at a pivot, leaving them angular at 45¤, with the anterior roots snapped/torn. Flattened canines, chipped incisors, cratered molars.
I get frequent palpatations and left abdominal pain, with reduced sensitivity in extremities - had to write with my alternate, left hand, for weeks.
Erikmen
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- May 3, 2014
- Messages
- 20,707
I know, it's really unpleasant and it makes us think about it. I keep wondering what I wouldn't do to have that deleted from my life.
It was also something that my family won't forget..Still present when we come to ugly discussions about the past although I did manage to strengthen up..
Hey guys. I wanted to post a little follow up to the previous suicide talk I posted before. Abilify has helped a great deal, although I am still depressed (just not majorly). I'm no longer suicidal. I have some hope now. I have some coping skills.
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
^I'm so glad to hear it. Keep working on creating the self and life you want. It's a process but one that can feel energizing and empowering or cause despair depending on your relationship with yourself.
stardust.hero
Bluelight Crew
So glad to hear
. Don't forget there is always ears to listen here. You're never alone. dizzygypsyred
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2014
- Messages
- 56
Got a dui recently stressed out depressed hard to keep my head up need to free myself from this endless cycle of addiction before I end up dead either from drugs or from my own hand
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
It's exhausting, gypsy. Any chance you could get into a rehab for the extra support?
I've called "confidential " suicide helplines in the past. They are not always confidential even if you have no intention of hurting others. Just an FYI. The last thing a suicidal person needs is having EMT's/ambulances showing up at your door...specially when you have no health ins at the moment. Just adds to the overall shittiness you're already dealing with.
I've been treated with Haldol for two months and I feel like it's killed a part of me. I've lost my libido, lack any drive or creativity. I'm afraid it's turned me into a vegetable for life. I just can't feel good from anything, even showers have become burdensome, even workouts. I just barely function and go to work everyday, although I see nothing in it. With every day passing I get closer to ending it all since I'm not a true human being anymore in my point of view. Every day seems like a nightmare to me, a dull neverending nightmare. I just constantly want to smoke or escape somehow every moment of my conscious being.
Rachella666
Bluelighter
Ive been on haldol for a few months now and i feel the same as you, my doc wont take me off it but im down to just 5mgs now, what dosage are you on?
I'm on none, my last 50 mg deconoate injection was 2 months ago
NOtoInvega
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2015
- Messages
- 174
I care. Jesus cares. We were born in sin. You didn't choose to be born in a fallen world ruled by fallen angels in sin. I was born in the same situation. I care! Jesus cares A LOT. God loved the world so much that he sent his only begotten Son to die in our place, the righteous for the unrighteous. Jesus really came back from Hell 3 days later.
There is a reason Jesus said condemn not lest you be condemned, judge not lest you be judged..
Maybe the next time you wake up, you could go buy a meal you like and watch The Daniel Project. It is free on hulu. Find out what you think about the prophecies that have been fulfilled. There are a lot of them, and that movie only goes over some of them. Take whatever you need to take to have a clear head for a few hours.
Maybe you don't have to kill yourself. There is another way out. You have a heavy burden. He can give you rest. But first you will need faith, and the quickest way to get faith is to take a look at prophecy. You will be amazed by what you discover. If you see convincing evidence in the prophecies, read a Gospel. It will change your life forever.
When I was at my lowest point, the Gospel and the prophecies gave me hope and faith. Hope and faith gave me Jesus. Well really, Jesus gave me hope and faith but you will understand that part better later.
NOtoInvega
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2015
- Messages
- 174
That's what neuroleptics do to you. Benzos provide relief, phenibut would probably help, and Kratom helps some. Of course, the neuroleptic has your brain in a stranglehold so don't expect to feel good. Relief is all you can shoot for.
Your sentence is shorter than mine. Check out the half-life on invega sustenna. Forced drugging is torture, and the UN literally called it torture and called for a ban on it. Ban forced drugging, and coercive drugging would disappear too for the most part. Most people are coerced under threat of force. Psychiatry is more evil than most things in this world, including Viacom. And it is hard to be more evil than Viacom.
I have read a lot of stories of people giving up hope and killing themselves from neuroleptics. I have also read about a lot of people who, through months and months of struggle, regained what was lost. You will recover if you make it through this. Stay off the radar and away from "mental health professionals." If they get their teeth in you again, there is no telling how long you could be tortured for. If you make it out of the psych ward, crossing state lines can get you out of forced outpatient drugging.
And a tip I have is for you to never deny that you "need treatment' or discuss the evils of neuroleptics with them. They use that against you to get you sectioned OR forcibly drugged.