Thanks for your replies, guys.
There seems to be much belief that my treatment is related to my crime. I disagree, which is why I basically avoided writing anything about it. Nevertheless, I will provide more details for everyone.
In 2002 I was charged with Attempted Murder. I was at a house party of my then-ex-girlfriend's friend. Later on in the night, when many had already left, an argument broke out between me and another party-goer (this guy had given me shit before). It got heated so I turned my back and walked off. As I did, though, he sucker punched me, and that dropped me. I was on the ground and he started kicking into me, all the while yelling out profanity-laden insults and telling me to "Fuck off."
Once he finished beating me down I became fuelled with violent rage. I went to my car, opened it, reached into the glove compartment and pulled out my Glock 9mm. I then returned to the house, walked inside, saw the punk that gave me the beat-down and unloaded six shots into his body. Now I'm no marksman (thankfully), because all six slugs missed every vital organ. This saved his life. I walked out of there, drove to the police and handed myself in, because it was just a matter of time before they (the cops) would have found me (there were a few witnesses at the house). I was drunk at the time and I regret my actions. I also paid the price for my crime.
Now, fast-forward to 2008 through to right now and people are treating me with the utmost contempt. As others here think, I initially thought they may have heard about my crime, and as a result, I searched everywhere to find information on my crime. You fucking name where to look and I've looked there. The only thing I found was at the local library, from an archived newspaper from 2002. It had a very short write-up on the incident, and no photos were provided. As I say, it was a very short article, and a very small one.
I live in a kind of large city, where brutal assaults, muggings, armed hold-ups and sexual assaults are quite frequent. Most of the stuff I mentioned happens several times a week. A couple of dozen murders happen in my city each year, as well. So my crime really wasn't anything note-worthy, hence the lack of media interest.
So, I really don't think people know about my crime. The guy I nearly shot to death has, apparently, moved out of town about 5 years ago. So I doubt he has gone around town spreading malicious lies. Besides, he was hardly Mr Popular himself, so I doubt many would take his word seriously if he did say anything.
Also, don't you think if people knew about my crime they'd be far more reluctant to spit vehement abuse at me? I mean, if I knew a guy who committed attempted murder I would chose my words
very careful when he's around, for I'd think he has the propensity for violence and is liable to snap easily.
Footscray, it's the same for me: when I go into town, I virtually never notice the people I see. Yet they seem to notice me? Every time I hear someone abuse me, I look at them and think,
Who the fuck is she?! Do I know her from somewhere? I search my memory banks but I just don't remember the face. (And I am quite good at remembering people I've met and faces I've seen.)
As I said, I tend to shop around the same areas near-by. Still, how are these people recognizing me (and seemingly knowing who I am) at the mall? I mean it's a 2-storey complex with about 6,000 parking bays. I don't really have any stand-out features that would make me instantly recognizable (e.g. I don't have a port-stained birthmark covering one side of my face). I'm just 6' 3" and 220lbs. But there are many guys who fit that description. It's nothing that makes me stand out. How the fuck are people recognizing me?
Perhaps someone's started a local Facebook page and has my pic up as the profile pic? Perhaps someone has started some malicious, well-known webpage that's used solely to attack me? I don't know. I just know that I'm being slandered, and that people recognize me when I'm out and about town, and that they often join the slander and put-downing behavior themselves.
Yes, I am unattractive. If you look at people who get bullied, nearly without exception the victim is unattractive. If I were good-looking, people would be a lot more forgiving of my other shortcomings. In short, I dont think I'd be treated the way I am.
Did you ever know someone who just happened to get given a heap of shit for no real good reason? There was just something about this guy that just evoked the nastiness in people. There are a few people like that. Perhaps I'm one of them. I really don't know. I just know that I'm treated with complete contempt.
Anyway, Merry Christmas, Bluelighters
