Burnt Offerings
Bluelight Crew
So you're telling me that I can do lots of drugs and enjoy sobriety as well? Fuck yeah, I think I'm gonna like this whole sobriety thing after all!
Maybe you can get lucky with toilet water but shooting faeces straight into your bloodstream is just asking for trouble. Big fucking trouble.
So you're telling me that I can do lots of drugs and enjoy sobriety as well? Fuck yeah, I think I'm gonna like this whole sobriety thing after all!
I own a small dresser and foldable cot. I need to buy a chair! You seem to move a lot, like me. I hope it is what you enjoy doing. My last move was catalysed by an uncontrollable event which made it a little more uncomfortable than some others. I'm e joying the left coast so far though.
I am drinking. A little smoking. Eating too. Sundays are nice. I'm high.
FM: awesome !! Your work sounds fun (flexible). I've moved six times between five cities and towns in the last two years, with two moves being 2100 and 3000 miles. We should form a club of vagabonds.
You really need to go get some help. You dont need to OD to go to a psych ward. Just go and present yourself. Tell them you are suicidal and under telepathic attack. They will admit you for sure. Trust me on this. I am a nurse and you need help.Had a 300mg Seroquel then took an unknow OD of phenibut so I could see if it would kill me or not. Last time I puked unconscious then was woke up maybe 8 or 10 or 12 hours later and my blood pressure was really low. I PROBABLY \\WOn't die but I don't know if I took more or less than the other time and it is really kicking in good now. I'll let you know later if I don't die. If I end up in a nut house I'll try to get someone to post and let you know I am not dead. I had no intention of doing this but then just did it without really wanting to die, just tired of this world.
Edit: Forgot that I took 300mg Wellbutrin/bupropion to raise my blood pressure a few minutes before posting this and a few minutes ago my mind started to feel clearer so I came back to post. I was going to take more phenibut just for the Hell of it to make my dose more potentially dangerous but I stopped wanting to do it before the song I was listening to ended. Also started to burn a Jeff the Killer smile onto my face with cigarettes like I planned on doing but it will take a while to finish.
I feel like my BP may be getting low and my pupils are fucking small. But I don't think I took as much as that other OD unless I take more and more likely than not I won't but I don't need to want to die to do it.
Update:
Not even passed out or feeling close to it. Guess my dose was significantly less than I thought. Going to take some pills in a bit if I am not closer to feeling like I might pass out but I don't feel like I will at all now. Just pressure in my head that isn't that bad and my BP was actually high, 160s/74 P114. I don't intend to take any more but if I get the urge I'll do a heaped spoonful but not heaping too high since that would surely be enough from what I remember.
I might OD on purpose just to get sent back to the nut house so I might be able to get on disability for repeatedly trying to off myself and for being psychotic since everyone thinks that is what my telepathy is. I'm normally too depressed to hold a job and now I am afraid to leave my house most of the time because of the telepathic attacks on my pets. They have also tried to kill me multiple times with telepathic attacks, once sending a ghost like shadow or inverse shadow into my room that hit me and caused my BP to rise and my pulse to double, give or take some to 130s and the green light that glows and dances around behind my eyes to get brighter, add colors, and move around really fast instead of the slow pulsating and/or tunnel making that it has always done the rest of the time when present then it went to Lucky and stayed there for maybe 5 seconds before going away. I was sober when it happened.
They want to kill Lucky because they get pissed off about my drug use and because they don't want me to annoy them by listening to music and want me to sleep when they do and I don't do it because I did not consent to the experiment they are doing to me so they want to make me pay and they want him dead because he can predict the weather and possibly see other future events. He can't do it now because they block it and won't stop it but he predicted the first few tropical cyclones and a few later ones accurately or very close, a lot better than the weather services but the later ones were very hard to do because people were also giving inaccurate forecasts with his and I could not tell who was doing it since I can only get messages through sounds I make that make words for some reason. All sounds I make do that now.
I'll probably stop taking opiates and benzos for at least a week then OD on other things if I do it so they will not think it was an accident. It will be worth it just to get an income. I hate the world because they stopped me from doing what has never been done before and I could have done great things for this God-forsaken Hellworld if they would not have destroyed my future and then continually fucked me over and tortured my pets. I also think they are making my mom's cancer get worse by forcing me to stop using cannabinoids that gave her drug telepathy that kept her cancer from growing by torturing Lucky and possibly Baby and mentally torturing me because they did not like the telepathy that gave them but they tried and succeeded at forcing me to use other drugs by telling me I had to even when I wanted to stop because I did not like the aftereffects.
Had a 300mg Seroquel then took an unknow OD of phenibut so I could see if it would kill me or not. Last time I puked unconscious then was woke up maybe 8 or 10 or 12 hours later and my blood pressure was really low. I PROBABLY \\WOn't die but I don't know if I took more or less than the other time and it is really kicking in good now. I'll let you know later if I don't die. If I end up in a nut house I'll try to get someone to post and let you know I am not dead. I had no intention of doing this but then just did it without really wanting to die, just tired of this world.
Edit: Forgot that I took 300mg Wellbutrin/bupropion to raise my blood pressure a few minutes before posting this and a few minutes ago my mind started to feel clearer so I came back to post. I was going to take more phenibut just for the Hell of it to make my dose more potentially dangerous but I stopped wanting to do it before the song I was listening to ended. Also started to burn a Jeff the Killer smile onto my face with cigarettes like I planned on doing but it will take a while to finish.
I feel like my BP may be getting low and my pupils are fucking small. But I don't think I took as much as that other OD unless I take more and more likely than not I won't but I don't need to want to die to do it.
Update:
Not even passed out or feeling close to it. Guess my dose was significantly less than I thought. Going to take some pills in a bit if I am not closer to feeling like I might pass out but I don't feel like I will at all now. Just pressure in my head that isn't that bad and my BP was actually high, 160s/74 P114. I don't intend to take any more but if I get the urge I'll do a heaped spoonful but not heaping too high since that would surely be enough from what I remember.
I might OD on purpose just to get sent back to the nut house so I might be able to get on disability for repeatedly trying to off myself and for being psychotic since everyone thinks that is what my telepathy is. I'm normally too depressed to hold a job and now I am afraid to leave my house most of the time because of the telepathic attacks on my pets. They have also tried to kill me multiple times with telepathic attacks, once sending a ghost like shadow or inverse shadow into my room that hit me and caused my BP to rise and my pulse to double, give or take some to 130s and the green light that glows and dances around behind my eyes to get brighter, add colors, and move around really fast instead of the slow pulsating and/or tunnel making that it has always done the rest of the time when present then it went to Lucky and stayed there for maybe 5 seconds before going away. I was sober when it happened.
They want to kill Lucky because they get pissed off about my drug use and because they don't want me to annoy them by listening to music and want me to sleep when they do and I don't do it because I did not consent to the experiment they are doing to me so they want to make me pay and they want him dead because he can predict the weather and possibly see other future events. He can't do it now because they block it and won't stop it but he predicted the first few tropical cyclones and a few later ones accurately or very close, a lot better than the weather services but the later ones were very hard to do because people were also giving inaccurate forecasts with his and I could not tell who was doing it since I can only get messages through sounds I make that make words for some reason. All sounds I make do that now.
I'll probably stop taking opiates and benzos for at least a week then OD on other things if I do it so they will not think it was an accident. It will be worth it just to get an income. I hate the world because they stopped me from doing what has never been done before and I could have done great things for this God-forsaken Hellworld if they would not have destroyed my future and then continually fucked me over and tortured my pets. I also think they are making my mom's cancer get worse by forcing me to stop using cannabinoids that gave her drug telepathy that kept her cancer from growing by torturing Lucky and possibly Baby and mentally torturing me because they did not like the telepathy that gave them but they tried and succeeded at forcing me to use other drugs by telling me I had to even when I wanted to stop because I did not like the aftereffects.