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How High Are You? v. Higher Than A Kite That Ate Acid

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It's almost 8pm here and I haven't had any booze or valium today. Was definitely anxious, but not too too bad. Especially considering I was smoking herb.

Now I'm gonna start drinking and maybe watch seven samurai, holy fuck is it long though... Played some Dreamcast earlier. Fucking love MvC on it.

Joe bean: what he meant was that there is a long history behind the crazy stories and it has been easier for us, traditionally, to nod and keep on going about business as usual. We've done what we can to help in the past, but there are limits to message board therapy.
 
I get it and hope he finds peace in himself and I can see why you guys care he's been around a long time and I love bluelight I wish I would have started posting a long time ago when I started searching for answers on opiates and what not! But I'm here now and enjoy talking to everyone and I have a huge heart for every human being I meet and hope they find peace with themselves that all we can do till it's our time to go back home!

Man I wish I could have a drink or two but there is no alcohol or drugs where I'm at lol except prescriptions from a dr or someone smuggles some goods up here. Which I used to do with my scripts bring up extra opiates along with some fake pee in my sock at all times, but now days I don't do anything except subutex wish it made me feel lil more higher but least my life is on track!! Have a great night enjoy the drinks and herb !
 
Woke up at 6 am not really sure what the hell was going on. Had 0.7 l of vodka last night, actually surprised I went to bed early and didn't cook up some bullshit like I usually do drunk, although I don't remember the late part of the evening. Feeling really sick though, going to have some coffee and a fat breakfast though. I just need to come to terms with and realize that the opioid tolerance break is shit and try to handle it without booze.
 
Have a great night Mr Bean #blessup

Mr drunk: have a great breakfast, breaks of any kind suck! Hang in there

I'm thinking of adding weed to the beer and going back to vidya, I honestly don't know what to do I'm so bored. Fuck.
 
Thanks, Sir.

It's kind of funny regarding the boredom, because I see alcohol as one of the few drugs that I don't need to think about activities for in order to entertain myself. With a lot of drugs I have to think of something to do while high in order to not be bored, not with alcohol though. As soon as I get drunk, I get so amped up doing anything seems fun and ideas flow, which usually means I end up doing stupid shit because my thinking is severely impaired. I actually usually drink to get rid of boredom, lol.

Opioids are good too, because just sitting and doing nothing already feels heavenly.
 
One thing I learned about opiates was that they can take away the physical pain (or significantly dull it, anyway), and they can sometimes even take away the mental/emotional pain, but it's definitely also possible to be high & unhappy at the same time. It's a weird feeling but definitely one that I've experienced. You feel the nice numbing warmth all over your body but in your mind you just think, god, my life fucking sucks.

Which is strange because I used to think that I'd be happy living in a trash heap as long as I had a steady supply of heroin.
 
I drink for the cheap entertainment! Right now though, I'm not buzzed yet so thinking of stuff is harder. It's rare times like these that I miss online gaming. I don't have any friends in this city yet except for one (and he's got a family to look after).

Worst case scenario, I'll get sober and then do some hiking highway cruising.
 
Burnt Offerings: it's actually something I've thought about and discussed with my buddy recently. I haven't done any of the stronger opioids in high doses for safety reasons, as I really love opioids and I fear it would just turn into a disaster, but I digress. Anyway, I often feel shit mentally when high on opis, and I wondered whether it's the same with heroin or the like, when really high. Because everyone talks about how heroin completely numbs emotions and everything becomes right in the world, but I've nodded on opis and still kept thinking about shit that didn't make me feel happy. It's a very different feeling from GABAergics, though, that is true.
 
When I'm high on opiates I feel more optimistic no matter the situation. so when I'm feeling down sometimes getting high can give me the motivation to push through a tough time. When I get the dose right opiates expedite my functionality.

Drinking sux because you cant/shouldn't drive anywhere so whatever. I can maintain a perfect .08 at all times in case I need to go somewhere.

I don't drive when I'm high on pot anymore, shit is wack!! Just me personally. Pot makes me cerebral and driving to me is a visceral thing.
 
belligerent drunk said:
Burnt Offerings: it's actually something I've thought about and discussed with my buddy recently. I haven't done any of the stronger opioids in high doses for safety reasons, as I really love opioids and I fear it would just turn into a disaster, but I digress. Anyway, I often feel shit mentally when high on opis, and I wondered whether it's the same with heroin or the like, when really high. Because everyone talks about how heroin completely numbs emotions and everything becomes right in the world, but I've nodded on opis and still kept thinking about shit that didn't make me feel happy. It's a very different feeling from GABAergics, though, that is true.
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One of the things you learn about junkies is that the one time they get really melancholy and reflective about their lives with you is when they're high. When they're not high they're usually too busy being sick or trying to score, but when they're high and don't have to worry about getting drugs temporarily, they sometimes get sad and mope, some of 'em anyway.

I mean, if you're so high that you're in hallucinod La-La land and your head keeps collapsing on your chest, probably not. I do think that's one of the reasons the heroin-Xanax combo is so popular...people seeking to numb themselves physically and mentally
 
Oh, totally, the issues may still be there. What I'm saying is that in the moment of being high (which can last for upwards of a day) I find I'm more able to see the cup half full. Plus more energy since I'm temporarily less depressed = easier to do mundane chores and everyday tasks that make up adulthood.
 
I often have the same positive effect on life from opioids. When I'm sober I'm often very abrupt and blunt, almost too dissociated from reality. When I'm high on opis I'm even more dissociated, but I become very empathetic so it helps with social interactions and relationships. Also, as Sir said, many tasks become easier to do, so I may even fix some shit for once when high. That is when I'm not dependent/tolerant, so I don't start withdrawing when coming off, but rather have a constant positive glow inside.

OT: ate the coffee and drank the breakfast, feeling a little better now. Fuck, all this opioid talk is making me uneasy. Perhaps 48 hours is enough of a break? Right? Riiiiight.... The reason for the break is purely economical, I have no desire to get clean at this point. Having to take more than half a gram of codeine or >200 mg O-DT to feel something can become expensive.

It makes me sad that I've spent so much money on drugs and booze, but what makes me even more sad is that it could have all been avoided if not the retarded drug laws. All the cheap good opioids from the pharmacy I want and some NMDA antagonists to keep tolerance at bay and I'd be golden.
 
Shaking and feeling really cold even though it's warm in my apt for some reason. Doesn't feel like the cold from opioid withdrawal, although I'm sure it also plays a role. Feels more like a caffeine OD. Jittery and cold. Which is strange, because I drank only one coffee in the morning and it wasn't all that strong, and that was like what, more than 6 hours ago? On a full stomach, though. Maybe because I don't drink it often I went overboard with it. Anyway, took 650 mg codeine because I'm a well-known pussy with no spine who can't last 2 days without taking some. Waiting for it to kick in so this shaky mess can stop.

Oh, and loads of valerian! Plants are nice.
 
It's been a long time with no posts..

11th day without alcohol !

70mg oxazepam
100mg hydroxyzine
10mg methadone
Some muscle relaxant: thiocolchicoside
Joints of some amazing high grade Weed.. Blazing it bro
 
Out of that fucking hellhole rehab, I thought it was a 30-60 day program... come to find out it was up to 6 fucking months. I was outta that bitch.

2.5 g's phenibut
0.25 g's crystal m-amp vaped

On the prowl for some BZD's, spent two weeks shaking and hallucinating and now I need to relax. Not to mention kicking an IV heroin habit that had my bodily morphine levels reading a ridiculous "100,000 kg/mg<" not to mention copious amounts of 6-MAM, alprazolam, methamphetamine, cocaine, clonazepam, and fentanyl. I ended up in the ER during my detox, delusional and shaking from GABA-nergic WD's. I had to go get an IV of lorazepam and still was hallucinating like crazy.
 
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With all this talk about opiates and how they either make you happy or think about your life and depressed I know what you mean! I been off major opiates since March 31 2015 and only been taking subutex!! My brain still to this day is saying oh just call your doc he can get you on methadone and we can get high it would be bad this time blah blah blah! I wish I could take some but I would ruin any chance with my ex in the future and she's the major reason I quit like I did. But damn I sure miss opiates lol

4 mg subutex snorted and might take 25 mg Benadryl also might plug another 2mg before work. I might have to try and lower my tolerance even more cuz lately I haven't been feeling the opiate feeling I get in my eyes and tingling in the brain :( I miss the glow and warmth of being high
 
4mg of Klonopin, may dose more later for a nod
About .5gs of resin, smoked, got me feeling pretty relaxed
Pack of Marlboro Blacks for my nicotine fix
Anddd I'm feeling super chill. Klonopin mellows me out.
 
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