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How do we prevent our kids becoming addicts?

Only thing that comes to mind is that people shouldn’t snort/smoke/pop pills or be high around small children thinking, they don’t have idea what are we doing anyway..
 
Providing a nurturing childhood with as little trauma as possible. When they're older, discussing drugs with them in an honest way - taking the mystery and intruige around drugs away.
 
UltraSilence said:
Fair. There's no way to guarantee our kids aren't going to end up addicted, just got to raise them as best we can and hope they make good decisions...and be there for them when they don't.
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To be fair, my daughter who's 24 has been through all the weed, mdma, ketamine and coke phase that all youngsters seem to do these days. But now she's pregnant, she's off everything and I think she'll stay that way.

My son, on the other hand, is 18 and a fuckin massive stoner. He's also a massive chip off the old block - which is why I fear for the worst. God forbid he ever tries opiates...
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
To be fair, my daughter who's 24 has been through all the weed, mdma, ketamine and coke phase that all youngsters seem to do these days. But now she's pregnant, she's off everything and I think she'll stay that way.

My son, on the other hand, is 18 and a fuckin massive stoner. He's also a massive chip off the old block - which is why I fear for the worst. God forbid he ever tries opiates...
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My wife saw my boy stoned a week ago with the addiction all my male side suffer from it worries me he 13 arounnd time i started getting stoned 15 on to crank fuck no i want this for him
 
Eligiu said:
I recommend getting assessed for autism and ADHD as soon as you can. I got diagnosed with higher level autism after burnout (used to be lower level generally) beforehand, and now I'm on disability. We have an autism thread hanging around somewhere with everyone talking about their different experiences and also being generally very autistic including me arguing a bit more before I was mod and toned it down but a lot of random autism stuff. Someone should make an ADHD one (my ADHD isn't bad enough for me to write much out about it cause it's mostly just 'got distracted by thing then other thing then other thing).

I asked my psychiatrist to test me for ADHD in 2017 due to my weird ass response to meth and other stimulants. She wouldn't at the time due to my meth use (fair) but later did assess me when I got put on dexamphetamine for another reason and I responded how someone with long term undiagnosed ADHD would. And I told one of my therapists who visits every week he has ADHD due to things he does (inattentive vs hyperactive) and now he's getting assessed. He was like 'damn it' when I pointed out all the things he does plus being late all the time (time blindness) as well as dexamphetamine helping him plus the whole 'all my friends are neurodiverse and I grew up being the weird one' and I'm here going 'bro you're not the neurotypical friend you're the undiagnosed one and also lol weird one huh? That's new'

When I got my school reports from my mum she told me I wouldn't find any adhd stuff in there but there was a lot of inattentiveness and when she realised that was a subtype of ADHD she realised she has it herself and now agreed, my brother got tested to and is.

You can be hyperactive, inattintive predominantly, or mixed.

With ASD stress can really really impact how your autism presents so the more stressed a person becomes, particularly someone who has masked/camoflauged their autism (especially people assigned female at birth as the presentation is different but not always, plus there is a racial and socioeconomic bias in the diagnosis - poorer peoppe and people of colour often get ODD (which don't even talk with me about that is just a trauma diagnosis) or some other conduct disorder instead of a learning disabilty.

The earlier people (and children especially) get intervention for ADHD and ASD the better the outcomes. There are non stimulant options for children as well if you are concerned about that such as guanfacine and strattera.
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I may have heard your description before. Hell, you may have said it to me in a thread. Anyway, can you describe how stimulants affect you in regards to ASD and ADHD? Perhaps PM'ng me would be better so this thread won't steer off track. I I have both things.
I also want your account of MDMA, coke, and LSD. All those things reacted weird to me. I tried LSD for the 1st timea few days ago and all I wanted to do was clean. Meth makes me tired lol
 
My daughter is 4 and I can only hope to God she doesn't fall into the hell hole that has been my existence for over 21 years.

GREAT THREAD, I can see all sides of everyone's answers. Because at the end of the day, our children are their own persons and will be exposed to life, peer pressure, natural curiosity etc. no matter what we do.

The biggest thing for my husband and I is that she doesn't witness any use. All paraphernalia is kept out in the barn and all use (we are down to just him smoking pot and me popping pills) happens out there as well.

Being honest about our past use and family history and WHY we don't use anymore, strict boundaries, heavy involvement and interest in her life, sports and healthy outdoor activities, regular schedule and predictability are all our habits. She is also in talk therapy already after being in the hospital for 24 days, intubated for 8 days and in the PICU for 12 days with pneumonia and RSV this past November. We ALL should be in talk therapy.

Even with all of the above, she could still become a raging alcoholic or drug addict. All I can do is support and love her and teach her harm reduction.

I personally started using and abusing because of a traumatic childhood with schizophrenic parents and S.A. My dad gave me my first sip of beer at age 4 in my princess tea set.

So, we are very blessed that our kid has a married mommy and daddy who love each other, are stable and got mostly all the crazy and hardcore substance use out of our systems.
 
yubacity said:
We are gping to do do that but i know what i did when old man said if i catch you smoking i break your legs . I got picked up by a pal and got stoned
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Idk how big your boy is and your history with any childhood physicality, but normal gentle physicality with YOUR child is O.K. Watch some World's Strictest Parents on YouTube and bring out your inner douche Republican Dad. You ain't his friend. Good luck, man. Turn his room inside out throw out all his shit, and put him to work immediately after school with chores after feeding him a healthy snack and letting him know how it's gone be from now until age 18 lol 🤣

Idk ....that's what I'd do. These fuckin kids, man. God bless you and you CAN do this. Don't give him an inch. You're in charge and you love him! Ask him WHY he is getting stoned, pain is complicated. Also give him options, you want to clean your room OR do the dishes? You got an older kid than me so you prolly know all this.

Keep us updated!
 
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You can do all of these things everyone mentioned to prevent it but you also just need to have acceptance.

I always said I'd never do heroin or hard drugs like that. And then suddenly at 19 I developed a taste for them & discovered how wonderful they were & how much they helped me. So not even 19 years of "don't do drugs" stopped me from making that decision anyway. You can't say whether it will happen to somebody honestly because we go through so many different phases through out puberty & well into adulthood. Things change.

Best thing to do is be supportive no matter what & educated yourself. Too much anti-drug popaganda out there & puritans thinking that "being clean" is the only way anyone should live, when in reality that's just some one else's subjective opinion. Drugs have been a part of human culture since the dawn of mankind & always will be. It's basically nature at this point. Even dolphins, cows & horses get high (and on purpose too).

My mom flat out told me she'd 'rather see me on opioids than alcohol cause she could see the difference in how each made me behave & feel.
On alcohol, I got violent, crazy, obnoxious, suicidal, etc.. On opioids, I'd get up and exercise, clean the house, have a long conversation with my mom or go for a walk.
The difference there is night & day.

So it's important to pay attention to why & what people are addicted to. Is some one addicted to opioids because it helps them function & get shit done? Or are they addicted to injecting meth & cocaine for sex fueled orgies & other self destructive behaviors? Cause that matters too. Some times you do need to step in if some one is destroying themselves. But if the person is benefiting from whatever they're using & it helps them live, then it really shouldn't even be anyone's business. Of course I'm talking about drug using adults when I say that though.

Honestly, parenting is what it comes down to too.
 
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DeathIndustrial88 said:
You can do all of these things everyone mentioned to prevent it but you also just need to have acceptance.

I always said I'd never do heroin or hard drugs like that. And then suddenly at 19 I developed a taste for them & discovered how wonderful they were & how much they helped me. So not even 19 years of "don't do drugs" stopped me from making that decision anyway. You can't say whether it will happen to somebody honestly because we go through so many different phases through out puberty & well into adulthood. Things change.

Best thing to do is be supportive no matter what & educated yourself. Too much anti-drug popaganda out there & puritans thinking that "being clean" is the only way anyone should live, when in reality that's just some one else's subjective opinion. Drugs have been a part of human culture since the dawn of mankind & always will be. It's basically nature at this point. Even dolphins, cows & horses get on (and on purpose too).
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How old are your kids?

Of course they are probably gonna try drugs and alcohol, but you do NOT have to lie back and "accept" it or normalize it. Be a cycle breaker. Give a fuck. Try. Teach harm reduction. He is only 13. I doubt his dad is looking forward to truancy, drunk driving, jail, getting some chick pregnant, all those risks. I often wonder where my life would be if I didn't ruin relationships and opportunities cuz I CHOSE to get my developing brain fucked up.
 
DeathIndustrial88 said:
You can do all of these things everyone mentioned to prevent it but you also just need to have acceptance.

I always said I'd never do heroin or hard drugs like that. And then suddenly at 19 I developed a taste for them & discovered how wonderful they were & how much they helped me. So not even 19 years of "don't do drugs" stopped me from making that decision anyway. You can't say whether it will happen to somebody honestly because we go through so many different phases through out puberty & well into adulthood. Things change.

Best thing to do is be supportive no matter what & educated yourself. Too much anti-drug popaganda out there & puritans thinking that "being clean" is the only way anyone should live, when in reality that's just some one else's subjective opinion. Drugs have been a part of human culture since the dawn of mankind & always will be. It's basically nature at this point. Even dolphins, cows & horses get high (and on purpose too).

My mom flat out told me she'd 'rather see me on opioids than alcohol cause she could see the difference in how each made me behave & feel.
On alcohol, I got violent, crazy, obnoxious, suicidal, etc.. On opioids, I'd get up and exercise, clean the house, have a long conversation with my mom or go for a walk.
The difference there is night & day.

So it's important to pay attention to why & what people are addicted to. Is some one addicted to opioids because it helps them function & get shit done? Or are they addicted to injecting meth & cocaine for sex fueled orgies & other self destructive behaviors? Cause that matters too. Some times you do need to step in if some one is destroying themselves. But if the person is benefiting from whatever they're using & it helps them live, then it really shouldn't even be anyone's business. Of course I'm talking about drug using adults when I say that though.

Honestly, parenting is what it comes down to too.
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Opiates over alcohol any day and twice on Sundays for real 🤣
 
ColoradoOpiateGirl said:
How old are your kids?

Of course they are probably gonna try drugs and alcohol, but you do NOT have to lie back and "accept" it or normalize it. Be a cycle breaker. Give a fuck. Try. Teach harm reduction. He is only 13. I doubt his dad is looking forward to truancy, drunk driving, jail, getting some chick pregnant, all those risks. I often wonder where my life would be if I didn't ruin relationships and opportunities cuz I CHOSE to get my developing brain fucked up.
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I'm gay, I don't have kids. But that doesn't mean I can't have an opinion on it. After all, I've been a drug addicted kid & had a mother & family of my own that had to deal with it, so one could say I have indirect experience with this kind of thing. I come from a family addicts.

I think you misconstrued what I meant by "acceptance". If you don't want your kids doing drugs, then that part is on you. That's what parenting is all about. Step in if you have to. I agree there. If your kid is getting in trouble or getting too fucked up, you almost HAVE to step in as a parent.

However, disowning or using "tough love" on your kids if they do end up using drugs isn't going to help either.

And no matter what you do while their kids/teens, doesn't mean they aren't going to become drug users as adults anyway. Which was my main point I guess I was trying to make. And that's where some acceptance has to come into play. They will eventually have their own lives & choices to make & there's no clear cut way to prevent anyone from becoming an addict in adulthood.
 
My mom use to help me get my opioids honestly. lol
She had a pain pill script for 11 years that she just gave to me every month.
And she did whatever she could if I wanted heroin & she helped me get on suboxone.

She understood what it was like for me. She knew that class of drugs helped my mental & physical problems so much that I was able to function like a normal human being again. She watched me struggle with severe depression & complete agoraphobic anxiety for years. She didn't think it was fair that I couldn't take something that helped me.

Hell my last birthday present from her before she died in 2021 was a bag full of tramadol.

She accepted me though & loved me no matter what. And I'll never forget that.
I guess that's what I mean by acceptance. Don't let yourself be angry at your kids or lose your bond with them if they do end up with drug problems. If their drug problems are causing them harm, it's important to step in. But never stop loving & supporting them either. Cause they will definitely need it.

And experiences are variable with everyone. In my case my mom didn't need to step in or stop me because I wasn't actually being harmed by opioids. She did get tired of dealing with me in withdrawal a lot. lol One could say she even "enabled" me. But she also stopped me from being addicted to 1,000 other things by making sure I had opioids. But if it had been another drug that I was dependent on that much, she might have thought differently about it. So this is something people need to take into consideration.
 
DeathIndustrial88 said:
Absolutely! LOL
If I did have kids, I'd rather they be stoners & opioid users than alcoholics or tweakers, that's for damn sure. lol

I think psychedelics have their place as well for people. And even dissos.
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I just know a healthy fear and respect for your parents is GOOD.

My husband was raised by 2 lesbians who created him with a gay man's sperm in 1983.

I was raised by my Italian Roman Catholic Grandmother and Mother who were democrats but I had a ton of conservatives in my family.

SO our daughter is getting a great balance lol. Dad is more gentle and patient and I'm more firm and no nonsense!

I just look at where we are in society and how much the quality of parenting has plummeted since the 90s....my husband's moms AND my family would never have drug paraphernalia around us or drop us off at school high AF with rainbow hair, in pajamas and a face full of piercings.

But yes, no matter what we do our children are their own people. All we can do is help them deal with their trauma and develop into a functional member of society and let them know we are there to love and lead them.
 
ColoradoOpiateGirl said:
I just know a healthy fear and respect for your parents is GOOD.

My husband was raised by 2 lesbians who created him with a gay man's sperm in 1983.

I was raised by my Italian Roman Catholic Grandmother and Mother who were democrats but I had a ton of conservatives in my family.

SO our daughter is getting a great balance lol. Dad is more gentle and patient and I'm more firm and no nonsense!

I just look at where we are in society and how much the quality of parenting has plummeted since the 90s....my husband's moms AND my family would never have drug paraphernalia around us or drop us off at school high AF with rainbow hair, in pajamas and a face full of piercings.

But yes, no matter what we do our children are their own people. All we can do is help them deal with their trauma and develop into a functional member of society and let them know we are there to love and lead them.
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I had a very abusive step dad growing up.
He would grab me by the neck & grind his teeth & freak out in my face, hit me with his shoes/sandals in the face, etc.
Almost on a daily basis from the age of 5 to about 10 or 11, when his emphysema got so bad that he couldn't get up off the couch anymore, which made it easy for me to run away from him before he could grab me.

And my mom kinda sat by and let it happen for years. I never understood why she did. And I was angry at her for a long time because of it.
But once I got older, I realized that she did it cause she had to. She quit her job & moved us all the way to Alabama when she met my stepdad.
She depended on him for security & for security for us. So she had to bite her tongue. I think she felt a little guilty about it though later in life. I've forgiven in her in my heart a long time ago though.

I was actually very anti-drug as a kid. lol My older brothers were potheads & I thought all potheads were lazy & stupid, until I actually tried it myself when I was 12. lol
I'm sure I still have a picture of me in my D.A.R.E. shirt somewhere too. lol

My mom had no idea that I smoked pot or did drugs until I was 18, when I told her. lol Although she started buying me my own cigarettes & beer when I was about 15. lol
So not even D.A.R.E. could stop me. lol

It's good to have a balance for your daughter. Sounds like she has very loving parents. I think kids that come from homes with both their parents & less trauma are more likely to avoid drugs & addictions than those of us who grew up in broken or messed up homes, definitely.

Speaking of which, I gotta go see my therapist in an hour. And I can barely even get up to go shower without bitching internally about how achey & tired I am. lol But I just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other. All I can do.
 
Yes the point is GENTLE physicality. We spanked her once, we all immediately broke down and decided it is not sustainable to hit your kids. But the threat of a spank straightens her out quick lol.

When we feel the anger rising we WALK AWAY and say I'm right over here when you're ready to be safe.

I'm SO sorry for your experience 😞 my schizophrenic mother and widowed grandmother also hit me in the face, drug me down the hallway etc.

You gotta create your own parenting style, taking what works and cycle breaking all the bad shit you want to omit from your kids life.

Hope for the best, here we fucking go!
 
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