THECATINTHEHAT
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2005
- Messages
- 8,180
Tired....endorphine rush%)
Dishonest....I say I'm a week sober but I'm taking half a bar ever other night to make myself get some sleep.
You are right.Everyone's definition of clean is different. As long as you're back in control of your life and in control of your drug use and are not in any denial about what is going on that's what matters.
If you need to take half a bar at night to get some sleep at the moment then that's what it takes but obviously I would suggest that stays short term otherwise you might start finding yourself in trouble again.
Just keep pushing forwards towards the place you want to be and be sure you're being completely honest with yourself about your behaviours and everything should work out in the end.
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Regardless of whether you feel conflicted over the decision, the decision has been made. Won't do you any good to dwell on it now.I for one am feeling a bit Weird.
Was just offered a last minute place in detox starting on monday but I turned it down in the end and am going to push ahead with the plan thats already in place for a community detox around the turn of the month. Got some stuff I'm doing over the next two weeks and I already have a good solid environment in place to do it where I won't have to give up all my home creature comforts where I'll be supervised (good old mother). Think I made theright decision because I'm confident in my ability to do it without a forced environment and it would be a bit rushed for my liking going in on Monday.
Regardless of whether you feel conflicted over the decision, the decision has been made. Won't do you any good to dwell on it now.
Make the decision the right one and stick to the plan at hand. You can do this. I know from reading your posts that you want a happy and sober life. You are a good person and you deserve to be happy.
You've been here for many of us during our darkest hours and believe me when I say we are all here for you as well!
You got this man!