• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

How Are You in One Word v. Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Status
Not open for further replies.
Spent

I just want this terrible year to end. On the plus side I am really looking forward to seeing my family at Christmas
 
MDPV said:
Its like I've got two halves inside of me. One half wants to be sober and the other wants to find comfort in addiction. I cycle between the two almost as if its two different personalities.
Click to expand...

Yup, I think most addicts know that one. There's the rational part of us knows this can't go on and hates the DOC and what it does to us, then there's the irrational addict mind part that sits on our shoulder and whispers lies in our ears that seduce us. Very difficult to deal with, no question, takes a long time to get passed it and an enormous effort of will.

You can vent here, that's no problem but you'll probably get better replies and more support in a new thread when you've got the time and energy for one.

Good luck.
 
trip - glad to hear you are feeling stable, and that the nightmare week has passed. There's so much value in this simple state. <3

symptomatic
with a case of the fuck-its

I'm gonna sign up for moodgym as well. I did it a little over a year ago; it helped.
 
can I do a double? Now I'm

pissed
I have to kick this reasonable use of wine in order to keep myself off marijuana.
 
I'd really like to do shitloads of heroin and blow my stupid fucking head off.

or make a grilled cheese sandwich.

nah, shoot my fucking head off.
 
pk. said:
I'd really like to do shitloads of heroin and blow my stupid fucking head off.

or make a grilled cheese sandwich.

nah, shoot my fucking head off.
Click to expand...


I gotta say, a grilled cheese sandwich actually sounds amazing right now.
 
lets share it with each other (and share bodily fluid) and writhe about in each other's mess and empty mcdonalds wrappers
 
Sepher 3some imo

(I don't trust you with the fries)
 
Today I'm feeling better somehow someway.

Maybe its from unloading my problems a few posts up yesterday. I feel better getting so many years of bullshit I've kept to myself off my chest. Sure I've done so in groups and with therapists and psychologists but it never felt the same.

I've been such a raging bluelight-aholic these last few years (though never bothered to join/post until recently) that somehow you guys feel like my friends or you people are at least more than just random strangers to me (even though you are). You understand. You all can relate. So talking about it here honestly helps more than it ever has the times I've done so in recovery... those people understood too but I never connected with them in any meaningful way so it all felt so fake. I dunno its different here with you people somehow.

Thanks for listening.
 
MDPV_psych: Talking about it helps for sure!! I find I need a combination of NA sharing, therapy, as well as coming here (anonymous).

mentally relaxed
Done with both finals. Not that they were difficult, just effort.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top