Heroin Social Chat v4

[pinkpapaver]

DO SOMETHING!! If u got the motivation to take a chance and move away, do it. Waaaay too many people (myself included) can be fucked off wiv something in particualr, or just everything, but instead of doing something positive to try to change it, just get depressed/angry and spend ages wishing it would get better. U really can do stuff to change ur life, it may not work tho

yeah, this drought hsa made me realise how much time ispent being scared of life and not taking good risks and chances iwant to just go out there and grab what i want,

 

[monstanoodle]

hello monsta!!! shows how much my pahrmacist knows, he said to me the nigth they both kill ya in the end, h thru disease etc, he then asked me how i got into it, hes been dyin to ask me that for years, and me drugs worker has never seen me in such turmoil. mad, i got something i have to do, jjust spent too long being scared. maybe i need a priest to exorcise me demons

Yo yo Pinky!

I'm so so sorry yer going through such a tough time right now ♥
Fuck the demon stuff hun, you know that's not true. From what I've seen you're a really cool and nice person so I very much doubt that there's any negativity that needs to be abolished.

It's just the smack-life messing with yer head

Please feel free to PM me if you need to have a talk at any point. Sounds like you could do with it **Gives a cuggle**

 

[endlessnameless]

Happy Wednesday friends,

I scored in D7 tonight, albeit reluctantly. I was meant to get 85mls methadone instead but I couldn't get through to my source but I couldn't handle the depression (in fact the depression was of such strength at one particular point that I wasn't going to bother leaving the house at all) so score I did.

It was from the current main, the chap thats been holding for over a month now without fail. It was slightly better than the last time, coming it at a 9/10. I can feel a nod coming on, but I want to keep enough for a few lines for tomorrow so fulfilling the act of getting out of bed isn't too daunting.

One a side note, I've never seen as many bags in my life. He pulled out two and a half palm sized bags filled with q's. Why I almost drooled as I impressed upon his offer to take my pick of at least 60. I picked good.

Turns out I can get as much lay as I want as long as I have something to hand over as collateral, but I still just took the one as if I get a habit again then the five months of hell will have been for nothing. Really I'm only scoring sporadically and infrequently as possible until I can get an appointment with my GP in a fortnights time. Really its just to pull me through the days where I'm just not going to get out of bed unless I can block out what awaits my open eyes. However, in his own words - "theres plenty more where they came from".

Just thought I'd fill you in ladies and gents, sorry if this was a bit of yap (which it is and thus I'm sorry). Nice and numb now...not particularly happy, not particularly sad - but no discernible pain of which to speak. It'll do nicely for now.

Peace friends, and I hope you are well this evening.

 

[monstanoodle]

yeah, this drought hsa made me realise how much time ispent being scared of life and not taking good risks and chances iwant to just go out there and grab what i want,

I'm right with you on that one..
Why is it that life is so scary in these modern days? Way back when, I doubt it was half as much of a problem for the "younger" generations than it is now

---- Edit ------

Sowee self! I know that I should be speaking of this in social!

----- Double Edit -------

@ Endless - I'm also right with you on that too mate. I'm purely using to get me through a few days of a week out of 2. I use less Benzos and don't touch my Codeine so I can save them for the next week when I won't be using.
But yea, not happy, not sad - Just "comfortably numb" as the song says Guess it's better than just wanting to be unconscious 24/7... Practically being dead without actually having to die.

Fuck, I really should shift all this over to the social thread.. Ok, I'm gunna do it so please do keep talking about shit I really don't want people not to talk about their problems that they're going through. It needs to be spoken of n got off our chests ♥

 

[ructions]

if i was to ask a question that i half already knew d answer to, r maybe alreday kow d real answer to is der even a point in asking d question in d first place?? d question r delimah(prob spelt wrong) ..... does one spend d rest of their life in a shit hole r attempt to grab the motivation which i know still resides somwhere deep in my sole and d absolute drive that used to protude so visible from me r leave ireland like so many of r talented nationals r flooding r shores every day, ( not that i'm considering myself among those skilled youths!) but fuck heroin r no herion, i derseve a fucking decent life, as does my child. as much as heroin has teased me into an almost subuniverse existance, i really shud have d God damn balls to ultimalty say no. with no prospects, no money and absoloutly no hope in ireland maybe both myself and this shit hole of a country need a break from each other. maybe i need a break from myself... i reckon that would do me d world of good. enough of my rant,,,i prob just need a good smoke and a fucking sleep...... sorry bout d rant : )

Hi Alfo!!! Don't beat yourself up!!! It has been a hard few months with the drought & everything, so your bound to feel down. At least we have all learned that we can life without H if we have to. But it has been hard, & now we are left with a big decision after the drought ends, will we go back to using? or will we stay clean? I would love to just use once or twice a week, but we all know that that never works & that before you know it its back to using every day again, its a bloody head wreck!!!

& as for this kip of a country!!! Or Direland as i now call it, i even changed my location on Blueliht to Direland, coz this is a Dire kip!!!It sickens me to have to look at those thieving politicians faces, they should be all locked up!!! Who do we vote for? They are all as bad as each other!! All governments the same!!!

But all the same try to be strong, look after yourself Alfo & hopefully things will start to work out better for us all!! Don't let the bastards grind you down!!!

As for a Dublin H update, there are still good bits around. I got a call from my mate that gets the odd good bit of gear & he says that he has some. I told him that i will wait until tomorrow till i score off him, that way i can give a clean urine in first tomorrow!!! That is one thing that i have learned from the drought, were before i wouldn't have been able to wait, i would have been straight down to score, now i'm used to waiting so i know that one more day won't kill me!!

 

[pinkpapaver]

god yeah, the politicians faces on every lampost, and ther'll be another bag of shite running the country before long,

i had to smoke today, my head was wrecked, and now the edge has been taken off things, i dont do it for the gouch, i do it to slow the racy head down

 

[monstanoodle]

Well said (((((((((( Ructions ))))))))))))

 

[ructions]

Well said (((((((((( Ructions ))))))))))))

Aw, thanx Monstanoodle!!!! I can understand why Alfo is feeling so down, things are really bad in Ireland at the moment, between the banks & the government, they all have us screwed!!!! & then this drought doesn't help, coz the bit of gear that is around is double the price!!!

We'll get through this!!!! But I can really see why Alfo would want to leave Direland!!! I really wanted to move to London in the '80's when everyone was squatting over there, i knew lots of people from London & Dublin that had a ball squatting!!! But i had my Son was i was fairly young so i never went over, & i still regret not moving over to London to this day!!!

But things will always work out fine in the end............... :D

 

[head candy]

The futures so bright I have

got to wear shades!!!! I fecking wish

%)

 

[bunnyonion]

**No need for that**

p.s. Welcome to BL

Thanks for the welcome Monstanoodle and sorry if my first post was out of order in any way but I would like to say WHAT THE F**K WAS WRONG WITH IT?

For a couple of weeks now CHINA WHITE and THE BIG MAN have been engaging in a big screen off to try and prove who really is THE BIG MAN and none of that was removed.

I feel like there s some kind of favouritism going on here for Somiforum.

 

[pinkpapaver]

hear this for madness, i was on me face book, and i have a priest s a friend, saw his latest comment "virgin 1st class, the way to trravel" my god, is that what my collection money goes to?
i just posted, i do it in jesus boots, thankyou god for my legs and feet. catholic education, good or bad thing.?

its ok, im dilema ofver me son, he's been kicked out of catholic school, and i was thinking i wanted him back in one, but now, i dont think it matters, he aint too holy really

god just dont do it for me like heroin

i think im back in the land of the happy!!!

 

[pinkpapaver]

hear me people, i want to mobilise. i spent too many hours worrying about the rise of facism in europe as a young un, im getting more and more convinced that heroin is not something to e ashamed of i mean look at the name for god sake, it is nothing to be ashamed of at all.
ive felt real proper shame so many times after nights and days on the drink, cringing now from stuff past and recent. that is one fucking evil drug.

anyway, wierd this is, but b4 the winter and the drought kicked in, i kept noticing loads of alcohol adverts, saying stuff like "stay in on these dark nights with some nice gin/whiskey /vodka"

i thought to meself, " you, the government, who are meant to be looking after your subjects are telling me to get a bottle of gin, and drink it?" fucking hell, and this was b4 the drought, i can function when ive had gear, (unless i go greedy, which isnt too often) im a mess on the drink, i remember some of the stuff i posted on here when i was hitting the whiskey, fuck me, fucking loopy stuff,
yet i could roll into work and openly admit id had a skin ful the night before, and people would just smile, and agree, and think game on woman.

if i turned up however saying id had a lovely peaceful nights sleep, and felt all cozy and warm lst night while watching the tv, and didnt mke a nuisance of meself coz id been on the brown, they 'd all be picking up their handbags, and theyd not talk to me again, they d suspend me basically, so ive suspended me self. the top know about me script, fuck , i love that cosy feeling, and im terrified of getting a green habit.

im gonna ramble some more later

 

[blondin]

@papaversom....I've no doubt that you would feel something from using H on top of 'done (at 80mls)but my point was based on medical knowledge - its not too complicated , our brain has receptors in it that certain chemicals bind with , in the case of opiods/opiates its generally the Mu receptors though there are a couple more that play a smaller role. If you take the analogy that you have 100 Mu receptors and 80 are filled with 'done only 20 can be filled with H so the effect of the H is not going to be very noticable. Once you start going over 110-120mls the effect of H is negligible.
While we are talking about 'done and H there is /was an urban myth that you could get a dual addiction to both - utter shite, otherwise MMT just wouldnt work, Lots of people top up there methadone dose because the dose they are on is too low - as I have said before on here the therapeutic dose i.e to stop cravings,WD's, and to block the effects of other opiates is between 90-120mgs. The body becomed addicted to opiates and isnt fussed what form they come in the reson people think they are addicted to both is they are addicted to a level of opiates which they fill with H and 'done because the 'done is free and they can graft to get enough for a couple of ten bags.
Sorry if I come accross arrogent its only because Ive been at this for decades and I hope that what i post can be used in a harm reduction capacity apart from just providing information.

 

[jspun]

@ runctions: VIVE LA RESISTANCE!

 

[hooks]

@papaversom....I've no doubt that you would feel something from using H on top of 'done (at 80mls)but my point was based on medical knowledge - its not too complicated , our brain has receptors in it that certain chemicals bind with , in the case of opiods/opiates its generally the Mu receptors though there are a couple more that play a smaller role. If you take the analogy that you have 100 Mu receptors and 80 are filled with 'done only 20 can be filled with H so the effect of the H is not going to be very noticable. Once you start going over 110-120mls the effect of H is negligible.
While we are talking about 'done and H there is /was an urban myth that you could get a dual addiction to both - utter shite, otherwise MMT just wouldnt work, Lots of people top up there methadone dose because the dose they are on is too low - as I have said before on here the therapeutic dose i.e to stop cravings,WD's, and to block the effects of other opiates is between 90-120mgs. The body becomed addicted to opiates and isnt fussed what form they come in the reson people think they are addicted to both is they are addicted to a level of opiates which they fill with H and 'done because the 'done is free and they can graft to get enough for a couple of ten bags.
Sorry if I come accross arrogent its only because Ive been at this for decades and I hope that what i post can be used in a harm reduction capacity apart from just providing information.

Ur so right Blondin! Aint it weird that someone can stop using gear and take meth instead without feeling ill? Like it's possible to have 2 concurrent addictions to the same shit (opiates)! I know this lad who swears that he can get totally clean by stopping his daily gear habit, taking 70ml of meth, then reducing it to 0ml of meth over the period of 5 days!! Possible, yes but without withdrawals? Not on ur nelly! He says it's the gear he has an addiction to, not the meth and if he stops the meth quick enough then the gear will be out his system and he won't have a meth habit!! Always told him this was bollocks but he won't have it.

 

[head candy]

Ur so right Blondin! Aint it weird that someone can stop using gear and take meth instead without feeling ill? Like it's possible to have 2 concurrent addictions to the same shit (opiates)! I know this lad who swears that he can get totally clean by stopping his daily gear habit, taking 70ml of meth, then reducing it to 0ml of meth over the period of 5 days!! Possible, yes but without withdrawals? Not on ur nelly! He says it's the gear he has an addiction to, not the meth and if he stops the meth quick enough then the gear will be out his system and he won't have a meth habit!! Always told him this was bollocks but he won't have it.

blondin your 100% correct in what you are saying and most eloquently put as for your friend hooks I think he is delusional never heard anything like it in over 25 years of use

8)

 

[blondin]

@Hooks it is possible to do a rapid detox from methadone (if you have none in your system due its very long 1/2 life) but a week does seem too little time - but I and a number of people I know Have done a two week rapid detox without too much discomfort. Remember the 1/2 life of heroin is about 6 hours or so ,. methadone anything up to 36-48 hours depending on many factors - in fact I have had three days of no methadone in the past before I got sick ( I thought I had magically got away with it...).
Re your friend and most of us here we are mentally addicted to Heroin as we like the feeling but biologically our bodies are addicted to opiates in any form thats why we take DF's, CWE of codeine tabs etc.

 

[monstanoodle]

Thanks for the welcome Monstanoodle and sorry if my first post was out of order in any way but I would like to say WHAT THE F**K WAS WRONG WITH IT?

For a couple of weeks now CHINA WHITE and THE BIG MAN have been engaging in a big screen off to try and prove who really is THE BIG MAN and none of that was removed.

I feel like there s some kind of favouritism going on here for Somiforum.

They've had a lot of posts removed or edited actually. And there's definitely no favouritism going on, it's more that it's just being ignored now.
I was tempted to edit that also but I just thought that they've been warned and if there's any more then action you will be taken.

I decided to edit yours because you're new here and it would let you know what's allowed and what's not

Honestly! You're very welcome to be here and I'm glad you are, just don't let yourself sink to that level man

 

[endlessnameless]

@ Endless - I'm also right with you on that too mate. I'm purely using to get me through a few days of a week out of 2. I use less Benzos and don't touch my Codeine so I can save them for the next week when I won't be using.
But yea, not happy, not sad - Just "comfortably numb" as the song says Guess it's better than just wanting to be unconscious 24/7... Practically being dead without actually having to die.

Fuck, I really should shift all this over to the social thread.. Ok, I'm gunna do it so please do keep talking about shit I really don't want people not to talk about their problems that they're going through. It needs to be spoken of n got off our chests ♥

Appreciate the understanding nature mate. I know I can appear quite dark at times with my posts but I'd rather just be truthful rather than putting a masque on my feelings. Those two thirds of the bag served me well last night though and since I kept enough for a couple of lines for the this morning the anti-depressant effect stayed with me until around 2pm this afternoon. I was that happy last night after my smoke that I stayed up writing until 6:30am, something I haven't done in very a long time

I'm awfully tempted to score today - but no; I have my benzo script in hand so after I psych myself up to drag myself down to the chemist I'll pop 30mgs and await the wave. I want to very closely monitor my transition from twitchy, light-headed/light-limbed and confused to at ease, relatively motivated and calm minded now that my tolerance is shot and see if I can manage on benzo's alone until I get my psych appointment.

Jesus this walk down to the chemists is going to be a killer (anxiety)...but it has to be done. The gain out weighs the pain

 

[kkattastic]

Appreciate the understanding nature mate. I know I can appear quite dark at times with my posts but I'd rather just be truthful rather than putting a masque on my feelings. Those two thirds of the bag served me well last night though and since I kept enough for a couple of lines for the this morning the anti-depressant effect stayed with me until around 2pm this afternoon. I was that happy last night after my smoke that I stayed up writing until 6:30am, something I haven't done in very a long time

I'm awfully tempted to score today - but no; I have my benzo script in hand so after I psych myself up to drag myself down to the chemist I'll pop 30mgs and await the wave. I want to very closely monitor my transition from twitchy, light-headed/light-limbed and confused to at ease, relatively motivated and calm minded now that my tolerance is shot and see if I can manage on benzo's alone until I get my psych appointment.

Jesus this walk down to the chemists is going to be a killer (anxiety)...but it has to be done. The gain out weighs the pain

benzos have saved me thru this drought
saying that,i am very careful how often i take them
i have a friend with a habit and it is apparently worse than heroin withdrawal