working out is the best way to get thru the cravings.. I was able to kick by getting my hands on some human growth hormone and other supplements. i felt like a million bucks within a couple of weeks. Never felt or looked better. Sylvester Stallone was right when he said hgh is a miuracle drug...
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Heroin/Opioid Thread - Serious Discussion Only
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working out is the best way to get thru the cravings.. I was able to kick by getting my hands on some human growth hormone and other supplements. i felt like a million bucks within a couple of weeks. Never felt or looked better. Sylvester Stallone was right when he said hgh is a miuracle drug...
theartofwar
Bluelighter
I love hgh, I am on 3 ius w/GHRP 6,2 at 150mcgx2 everyday. 10 months on 2 months off.
Never ran anything while i was w/d'ing from opies, wonder if it would've helped. HGH duplicates cells and produces new ones, I don't know of any brain affect.
Carl Landrover
Bluelighter
COMPLETELY!
I got so used to being on sub/dope/oxy where I knew I'd be sick or close to sick in X hours, so I'd always be counting down the time til I was sick or needed something again.
Even if I put it out of my mind, at one point I'd realize that I wasn't feeling well and then it would dawn on me that I needed to use something.
So, so, SO nice not to have to worry about that.
I've also noticed that I'm not feeling like I'm in a rush all the time anymore either. I was always rushing to work or to school or to home or rushing to pick up drugs or to get back to my house after getting drugs.
Completed my first full 7 day week without opiates since sometime in November 2008.
Haven't seen the money benefit yet, but that's because I had to pay bills and didn't work much the week before. Can't wait to get paid from each job this week and NOT immediately take out $100+ that would get me high for a night.
Feels good man
lozgod
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2010
- Messages
- 715
bump in the hope for an answer.
theartofwar
Bluelighter
ppl use mud for brown but bago is right it's tar.
Carl Landrover
Bluelighter
Lately I'm also digging the return of a normal appetite and a renewed interest in food/eating. Not so much of a chore anymore.
Also really, really like having a more consistent mood. I'm not so up and down everyday all the time.
I've had to break ties from a friend/using buddy. It's kind of hard, but he really has no real interest in getting clean. He uses me as a taxi or someone to throw down with. When I last saw him and I hadn't used anything in 3 or 4 days, he immediately says how he can get bundles for cheap in a different city. Easier to see someones motives when you're not blinded by cravings.
Even my other friends who I did use with (not using buddies) all have congratulated me on how I've done so far.
It's still a long road to rebuild the life that opiates brought down and I still have a lot or work to do. At the moment I'm just happy the chains of dependence have been broken.
Also really, really like having a more consistent mood. I'm not so up and down everyday all the time.
I've had to break ties from a friend/using buddy. It's kind of hard, but he really has no real interest in getting clean. He uses me as a taxi or someone to throw down with. When I last saw him and I hadn't used anything in 3 or 4 days, he immediately says how he can get bundles for cheap in a different city. Easier to see someones motives when you're not blinded by cravings.
Even my other friends who I did use with (not using buddies) all have congratulated me on how I've done so far.
It's still a long road to rebuild the life that opiates brought down and I still have a lot or work to do. At the moment I'm just happy the chains of dependence have been broken.
love2party
Bluelighter
Paws suck, but finally my chills and sweaty armpits are starting to go away. chills suck big time
Carl Landrover
Bluelighter
Some people didn't really care for the Octsober thread and those 'bandwagon' type approaches, so I just never made a thread. Figured someone else would if they wanted to see it up.
Guess I could make one though since Octsober ended well for me.
Have yet to use any opiates in NOvember, and I'm working on cutting down and stopping adderall and caffeine use. At least to the point where I'm not taking them more than 2-3 times a week.
EyeLick
Bluelighter
do thinkit's normal for people to, with alcohol or whatever, do self- "drug replacement therapy." wwell. dad took me to southern nevada mental health service (put in therapy or cutting this year as a standard eye must follow in order to get any financial help with rent and bills) in september on a morning eye had nothing. sign said walk ins may wait all day. he said "that looks promising" it's like - yeah ya think? you're not dopesick right now. was diagnosed bipolar and put on abilify. at first was scared of drug interactions but since have just started taking it, and it's improved m'eye relationship with m'eye boyfriend dramatically, no more pacing and antagonising him about drugs. after taking dad off the HIPPA form, have admitted to use in the recent past, and the last lady eye saw kind of bullied me into signing up for the dual diagnosis treatment program, which is sort of funny to me since eye'm in "acceptance" mode about the heroin, no more attempting to quit every six weeks! am sure one day eye'll want to stop, again. good luck to all with stopping, eye'm really hopeful for everyone!
mymindisgoo
Bluelighter
sobriety is great. but so is getting high (not everything else that comes with it though). grrrrr
me too!!!!=d
Sepher
Bluelight Crew
No, no, no! That is not the opiates talking to you. That's your head. At 292 days, no matter what sort of opiates you were on, or how ingested, for however long you are opiate free.
Opiate addiction in and of itself cannot possibly have a hold over you now.If you've done the physical withdrawal bit, which is IMO the easiest part, you must now make real efforts to get to grips with what led to that addiction in the first place. That is hard. It is hard because opiates make it very easy for you to blaim your addiction and / or your behaviours on their 'uniquely' addictive qualities, but having beaten the addiction you can no longer use those qualities as a convenient crutch to explain away behaviours, or an ongoing desire to use. That is all mental, and the mental component you are battling with, which you say is pulling you back has nothing to do with the qualities of your drug(s) of choice. It's just your head talking, and you need to have a word with yourself, because it's absolutely possible to have a life after Heroin.
N x x x
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Carl Landrover
Bluelighter
LOL! Fun month! Funnest month I've had all year and it's the only month that was almost entirely free of opiates.
:D 
In the entire month I only used on two different occasions. One was a small dose of suboxone (0.2mg?) and the other was 30mg of oxy. %)
Ah yah! Sober yah!
(well from opiates...I love marijuana)
theartofwar
Bluelighter
Ever had it just click that you really have to stop ? I had this happen to me recently after my most recent binge. Feel like shit yea sure its a given , but I seriously need this - my life will never , ever , fucking get better if I'm stuck on these. Also it's never just using for me, it's the entire lifestyle to support my dose and tolerance ... severely out of hand and was getting me in horrible situations. I'm hoping that this doesn't go away, I know I have a long ass way to go - I've had 8 months clean before - this month I hope is the start of a life without opiates again.
I'm considering getting the implant, I'm fucking SICK of being such a weak fuck and going back for binges that either end up in me OD'ing again or on long term use again. I think it wouldn't hurt to have the extra support to KNOW i can't use (well no point to use at least). Thoughts ? You guys had that pellet done or what ?
I'm considering getting the implant, I'm fucking SICK of being such a weak fuck and going back for binges that either end up in me OD'ing again or on long term use again. I think it wouldn't hurt to have the extra support to KNOW i can't use (well no point to use at least). Thoughts ? You guys had that pellet done or what ?
DexterMeth
Bluelighter
@cire113 - first off, you can't expect simply being clean from opiates to magically make you feel better. You actually have to put in serious face time into improving your life in all other aspects. That was simply the first step towards happiness.
Secondly, as far as if it's a good idea to smoke weed or not: thinking the way you're thinking about it is surely going to make you relapse no matter what. Getting high on weed doesn't make you crave opiates, and imo drugs aren't even addictive. We as people are simply WEAK and ignorant, and I'm included obviously (because I'm a person).
You won't find happiness without normalcy, and you can't obtain normalcy without a proper balance in all aspects of your life (over simplified).
So, perhaps you should just stop thinking about drugs altogether and instead focus on the rest of life. It does get easier, but only when you change your junky mentality. Have you ever been on opiod maintenance? Not everyone needs to do this, and most don't, but I for one would be dead if I didn't. I've been on methadone and bupe twice, with now being my 2nd time. This time around I really get it, and have been slowly titrating my daily dose, by myself, according to me and what I think, not my doctor (I'm down to 1mg a day of suboxone). Personally, it's working out great for me because I'm doing all the work, and most importantly I WANT to actually be clean and live life correctly. You will never feel good if you just go about hating life with a "fuck it" mentality and think about dope all day.
Pick up new hobbies, stay active.
Physical exercise helps A LOT, and for many so does meditation.
Healthy normal socialization is also important imo.
Worse case scenario, just continue to post here. THAT is probably the 2nd most important step you've taken in your recovery.
Good luck man.
Secondly, as far as if it's a good idea to smoke weed or not: thinking the way you're thinking about it is surely going to make you relapse no matter what. Getting high on weed doesn't make you crave opiates, and imo drugs aren't even addictive. We as people are simply WEAK and ignorant, and I'm included obviously (because I'm a person).
You won't find happiness without normalcy, and you can't obtain normalcy without a proper balance in all aspects of your life (over simplified).
So, perhaps you should just stop thinking about drugs altogether and instead focus on the rest of life. It does get easier, but only when you change your junky mentality. Have you ever been on opiod maintenance? Not everyone needs to do this, and most don't, but I for one would be dead if I didn't. I've been on methadone and bupe twice, with now being my 2nd time. This time around I really get it, and have been slowly titrating my daily dose, by myself, according to me and what I think, not my doctor (I'm down to 1mg a day of suboxone). Personally, it's working out great for me because I'm doing all the work, and most importantly I WANT to actually be clean and live life correctly. You will never feel good if you just go about hating life with a "fuck it" mentality and think about dope all day.
Pick up new hobbies, stay active.
Physical exercise helps A LOT, and for many so does meditation.
Healthy normal socialization is also important imo.
Worse case scenario, just continue to post here. THAT is probably the 2nd most important step you've taken in your recovery.
Good luck man.
LillyF40
Bluelighter
No, no, no! That is not the opiates talking to you. That's your head. At 292 days, no matter what sort of opiates you were on, or how ingested, for however long you are opiate free.
If you've done the physical withdrawal bit, which is IMO the easiest part, you must now make real efforts to get to grips with what led to that addiction in the first place. That is hard. It is hard because opiates make it very easy for you to blaim your addiction and / or your behaviours on their 'uniquely' addictive qualities, but having beaten the addiction you can no longer use those qualities as a convenient crutch to explain away behaviours, or an ongoing desire to use. That is all mental, and the mental component you are battling with, which you say is pulling you back has nothing to do with the qualities of your drug(s) of choice. It's just your head talking, and you need to have a word with yourself, because it's absolutely possible to have a life after Heroin.
N x x x
I have to disagree with you on your post. Although most people are fine after withdrawls, a small percentage will have lasting PAWS. I tried the 12 step program and managed to stay clean for a long time, however, I was severly depressed, suicidal, and I self destructed by having an affair, gambling, you name it, I did it, I was in therapy, tried every antidepressent on the market..What I didn't know was I was suffering from PAWS, it never went away..For me, methadone saved my butt..I truley believe that if I continued my 12 step program, I would have killed myself, in fact one of my best friends had a severe case of PAWS, he was finally on his way to getting on methadone when the people in NA told him he wouldn't be one of the winners if he got on MMT..A few weeks later my friend blew his brains out with a 44 magnam..What really upset me was they had the nerver to put a 1 year chip on his gravestone..NA/AA works for many people and has saved lives, but when some members try to tell members what to do in their recovery, it is boardering on a cult...JMHO...
LillyF40
lozgod
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2010
- Messages
- 715
Haven't been on in about a week. Been doing good as far as staying high. Just took my last dose until at least Tuesday. Gonna wake up sick. Have 50 valium and a couple suboxone. I've had the suboxone (actually one suboxone and one subutex) for months and whenever sick wouldn't touch them. I'd rather deal with the sickness by doping myself out of my mind with valium than take bupe. Even if it is short term. Every period of sickness is a shot at getting clean is how I look at it. The bupe is going to takr away that shot. Don't let the taper pushers full you. It only delays the inevitable be it a 3-7-10-20-30 whatever day taper.
Problem is I don't do dope because I hate it. I hate when I don't have it. That's what makes quitting so hard. Not to mention after all these years I forget what it is like to not have opiates and be normal. It's either hi or sick.
I know the schedule. Wake up in a stinking sweat. Have to piss like a race horse with a dose of super anxiety. Piss, pop more valium, try to get some more sleep, wake up pissing or shitting my brains out, take some ibuprophen for the cramps and RLS )benzo and ibuprophen seem to help with RLS), and Tuesday I get paid and start all over again.
Sickness train is pulling up, all aboard!!!
Problem is I don't do dope because I hate it. I hate when I don't have it. That's what makes quitting so hard. Not to mention after all these years I forget what it is like to not have opiates and be normal. It's either hi or sick.
I know the schedule. Wake up in a stinking sweat. Have to piss like a race horse with a dose of super anxiety. Piss, pop more valium, try to get some more sleep, wake up pissing or shitting my brains out, take some ibuprophen for the cramps and RLS )benzo and ibuprophen seem to help with RLS), and Tuesday I get paid and start all over again.
Sickness train is pulling up, all aboard!!!
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