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Help. i got a girl I work with preganant. She deceived me and told me she was on BC.

Simply_Live said:
I don't trust anyone in that regard. I trust myself to make smart decisions and to protect myself. I guess that's where we differ.
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Agreed. I was with one woman who was on the pill but she didn't take it correctly so it would work, and I've known women who are on the pill and they forget to take it or they think that it works even if you're on other medications or antibiotics that make it so it doesn't work, and yes there are women out there who do lie about being on BC and some will get pregnant on purpose or claim that this happened when it didn't.
 
billdeserthills said:
So then what, one a them day after pills?
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Plan B is the morning after pill. :\ But, you have to take it within 72 hours. It's like a huge dose of hormones that stops the egg from implanting in the uterus lining. If the egg has already implanted, then you're screwed, which is why taking it later does no good. It used to be 2 pills you take, but now it's only one. It's not supposed to be used as birth control, but for instances where your ring fell out or the condom broke, it's great backup.
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
Agreed. I was with one woman who was on the pill but she didn't take it correctly so it would work, and I've known women who are on the pill and they forget to take it or they think that it works even if you're on other medications or antibiotics that make it so it doesn't work, and yes there are women out there who do lie about being on BC and some will get pregnant on purpose or claim that this happened when it didn't.
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My point exactly. Too many things can go wrong with BC, many more problems than with condoms. BC, you have all of those issues.

Condoms? It breaks or falls off. That's basically it.

B1tO'RoughJack said:
Yes, but where's the fun in that? That's retarded.

Simply_live - anal for contraception - "yeah go on if we must" ;)
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I don't know... I can't say for sure whether I'd be "open" (LOL, puns) to the idea after the first time. If it hurts too much, then the only thing that's going through there is my poop.

Lysis said:
I feel sorry for the poor kid more than anyone in this thread. I hope this poor kid is able to rise above his situation.
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Me too, but I think the major points in this thread as stated are: be careful next time, learn your lesson and "let me tell you a government secret; PM me".
 
Tell her you rather her have an abortion and you will even pay for it and hold her hand while you take her to the clinic and all that good shit....

Now if she is a liar, might not be prego, or might be not yours..... I would stay as far as possible away from a chick like that.... You have to make this nut think that you will spend more time with her & maybe it might turn into a relationship, but you do not want to start of this fast....Slow and steady wins the race....Now as soon as she gets that abortion, RUN like you never ran before & hope you learned your lesson...

To many leechs looking for a good guy to rob by getting pergo & collecting money from you while she gets a manny & petty with that money & the kid is eating pudding & Kool-aid in some dirty ass clothing..... THINK SMART
 
Unbreakable said:
To many leechs looking for a good guy to rob by getting pergo & collecting money from you while she gets a manny & petty with that money & the kid is eating pudding & Kool-aid in some dirty ass clothing..... THINK SMART
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8) Yeah, because a few hundred dollars in child support a month (if one is lucky) is soooo much money, and enough to pay for everything a kid needs including housing, clothing, food, etc. Getting really tired of these misconceptions that women who get pregnant inadvertently are "leeches" who take child support and pamper themselves rather than actually try to take care of their kids.
 
munki said:
8)Women who get pregnant inadvertently are
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are not the ones that deliberately lie about being on BC.

On the other side, I wonder wheter a women that tries to get pregnant before checking with the (possible) father wheter he wants to have a child or to keep a child born because of a defective BC method is really trying to take care of her (future) kid.
More in general: women have the right to decide wheter to keep the baby or not, but I think they should risk having an unplanned pregnancy only when the partner is someone that will most probably recognize and support the child (and the mother herself). Otherwise this sounds a bit like recklessness, to me, and surely more so than the behaviour of the OP

Anyone that acts like the woman in the OP not only damages (and lies to) her/his sexual partner(s), but also their future child, which will most probably grow up without knowing his father (mother)
 
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Unbreakable said:
Tell her you rather her have an abortion and you will even pay for it and hold her hand while you take her to the clinic and all that good shit....
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That doesn't sound half bad...

And the best part is, depending upon where you go and after the procedure is all done, sometimes they'll fill the collection jar up with water and let you shake it like a snow globe. Always makes me laugh to see the little arms and legs swim by like, "oh no, dad, what have you done to me!" LOL
 
beamers said:
^Don't expect women to be logically consistent when it comes to social responsiblity. If the sexes were reversed in this situation many women (and feminists of course) would be calling "rape". However if a man is deceived it is his own fault.



None, however you are about to find out that men have no reproductive rights even after being deceived.

Now, here's what you do. Make it understood to her that you won't be staying together and that you certainly won't be getting married and that there will not be any $$$. On the last point, the law is not on your side (even though she lied), but you can be a cock about it and draw that out. She just needs enough doubt in her mind and she will baulk, call her bluff. Always be confident and always speak in certain terms, don't be overly cocky, just matter of fact and keep a poker face. Offer an abortion, research where, how much and when it can happen in your area - make it as easy as possible for her, play good cop until she makes it clear that she isn't getting one or if she stalls. When you say that you are walking follow through with it, then she'll have an abortion.
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You have got to be fucking kidding me.
 
Hot damn, verso, you are

y0u are


that was the grossest thing you could have written, man, like... whoa. whats w rong?
 
I'm with those that think if you dip without a condom you must also be mentally prepared for an accidental pregnancy.

I'm not sure what I would do were this to happen to me, but rest assured I would respect the mother's wishes, whatever they may be.

If you feel that this woman manipulated you, well, unfortunately the dip is still on you. Now it is time to try and do right if you are bringing another soul into being.

:)
 
I do think the OP should communicate his feelings that he is not ready to be a father. That might help her make her decision, which might still be an abortion. I think the attitude of the father might make a difference. If she's smart and this guy has no money AND he just has a general bad attitude, she should really think twice about having it. That's just for her own future, but if she decides to have it, then the OP needs to grow up, be a man, and own up to his responsibility (no point in shouldas and wouldas, but you didn't wrap it OP and that's on you) and take care of the child. It's sad to say, but he doesn't have to be a father, but he must support the child for the child's own well-being. I would hope he'd get his head together and be a father, but I think if it were me in her shoes, I'd much rather know that he doesn't want to be included in the child's life, so I can make my decision from there. Too many guys tell the girl that he's going to be there and then leave when things get rough, and if neither of them have any money, it will get rough.
 
Lysis said:
I do think the OP should communicate his feelings that he is not ready to be a father.
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I agree on that. The less he wants to be a father, the more he should state it clearly.
By the way, I assume that even if the OP was to change his mind about the child, he would not change his judgment about the mother of the child. I could never live with a woman (or a man, or any living being) that behaved in that way. So, should the OP also put his head together and be a husband?

Oh: and if I were you, OP, i'll think about a paternity test, and I'll consider myself as possibly exposed to STD for the next few months (this means: not putting other people at risk, and testing after 3/6 months). I mean: if she lied about being on BC without thinking of the consequences, she could have lied on just everything related to sex.
 
You definitely are within your right to TRY and convince her to get an abortion. You obviously cannot force her, but you can attempt.

However, if she wont, its on you to man up. I mean you were man enough to fuck without a rubber. Supposed B/C or not, thats the risk you take. The OP may not be the one 'to blame', but he is DEFINITELY RESPONSIBLE! You knew the risks, and this was one of them.

Sorry bro but even if she was on b/c sometimes it doesn't work anyway, that shits only 99.9% effective. You could be that .1% regardless, so to say that the OP is free of responsibility b/c she "claimed she was on birth control" is such a load of shit that its unbelievable. So when me and my ex used to fuck when she was on B/C, its not my problem if she gets pregnant? Wrong, it most definitely is my problem.

Shit, even if she DID lie about being on b/c just to trick you, my point is still valid: this could've happened if she were on birth control. It is your responsibility fully, regardless of what she said, because you choose to dip without, as Lysis said. Now, her lying about this does in fact make her a person of questionable morals (shit, i'll say it, shes a bad person if she did this...), but that doesn't make you less responsible. Just like someone whos gf gets preggo while on B/c still has to deal with it, and its still their fault. If you really dont want a kid use a condom, birth control or not...


I took the chances with those odds, so does anyone who has sex without a condom, b/c or not. It is your responsibility man and your kid to take care of if she decides to keep it. No matter how you try and split things thats the ultimate answer.
 
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DooMMooD said:
You definitely are within your right to TRY and convince her to get an abortion. You obviously can force her, but you can attempt.

However, if she wont, its on you to man up. I mean you were man enough to fuck without a rubber. Supposed B/C or not, thats the risk you take. The OP may not be the one 'to blame', but he is DEFINITELY RESPONSIBLE! You knew the risks, and this was one of them.

Sorry bro but even if she was on b/c sometimes it doesn't work anyway, that shits only 99.9% effective. You could be that .1% regardless, so to say that the OP is free of responsibility b/c she "claimed she was on birth control" is such a load of shit that its unbelievable. So when me and my ex used to fuck when she was on B/C, its not my problem if she gets pregnant? Wrong, it most definitely is my problem.

Shit, even if she DID lie about being on b/c just to trick you, my point is still valid: this could've happened if she were on birth control. It is your responsibility fully, regardless of what she said, because you choose to dip without, as Lysis said. Now, her lying about this does in fact make her a person of questionable morals (shit, i'll say it, shes a bad person if she did this...), but that doesn't make you less responsible. Just like someone whos gf gets preggo while on B/c still has to deal with it, and its still their fault. If you really dont want a kid use a condom, birth control or not...


I took the chances with those odds, so does anyone who has sex without a condom, b/c or not. It is your responsibility man and your kid to take care of if she decides to keep it. No matter how you try and split things thats the ultimate answer.
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Wow! Very well said!
 
I don't know why people have unprotected sex outside of a committed relationship where you really know the person you're sleeping with. Even then, it's no guarantee that you're not going to wind up with a unwanted pregnancy that your partner doesn't want to abort.

The system allows women to abort but men can't do a parenthood abortion. Women can't be forced into parenthood but men can. It's kind of a shitty deal, but it's unfortunately the reality of the way the system operates. The feminist movement has risen women up to this kind of power but men are yet to have their own movement of gender empowerment, so the patriarchy will still disproportionately blame men for unwanted pregnancy than women. Of course, the rabid pro-life movement is trying to equalize this by calling women sluts who had it coming because they wouldn't keep their legs closed, but... you get my point.

The sad truth is that if this woman wants to have the baby, and take you to court for child support, there is nothing you can do. I guess you can deny that it's your kid, but a court-ordered paternity test will uncover the truth and then the judge will be less forgiving when you're nailed with backed child support payments.

You have my sympathies my friend... my intention is not to blame you here. It's unfortunate when a moment of careless pleasure seeking can amount to 18 years of financial and social upheaval. My advice is along the same lines as others. I would try and reframe this situation so that you can approach it positively. You might discover that you enjoy fatherhood despite not feeling ready for it. You might even end up taking a more active role in your kid's life than you first thought you would. Children can be a blessing.

But man, I'm so glad I turned out gay.
 
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