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Help. i got a girl I work with preganant. She deceived me and told me she was on BC.

munki said:
One person (the woman) has the ultimate decision because SHE is the one who is carrying the pregnancy, not HIM. Just like others have stated: you play, you pay. Taking responsibility for possible consequences is a part of being a sexually active grownup. Guys such as yourself can complain all you want about the "unfairness" of the situation, but if you are willing to put your sperm inside of a fertile woman, despite whatever she may have said about being on birth control, there is ALWAYS going to be that risk of pregnancy.

Don't want to have any possibility of having kids? Get a vasectomy or don't have sex! Its pretty simple!
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I'm sorry but I have to agree with GM here.

Seriously. "You play, you pay". :|

Women have been complaining for countless aeons about being unfairly treated and demeaned by men and you are the one here that chooses to refer to yourself like some sort of twisted game.
 
Just for the record, I do believe a women should have the right to decide whether or not to keep her baby. She IS carrying the pregnancy and it IS her body. If, however, she decides to keep the baby against the father's will then I think she should be solely responsible for it.
 
I do think it was wrong that she deceived him and told him she was on birth control. And it was pretty stupid on her part if she didn't want to get pregnant. But also I think it was reckless on his part for not wearing protection. I'm on the Depo Provera shot and am in a monogomous relationship but before all that if I had any kind of casual sex I would always make sure the guy was wearing a condom. Even though I am on birth control and if I was single I would still insist on a condom. With all the STDS out there and HIV you can never be too careful. It isn't worth one night or even a few nights of pleasure to die of HIV. I have a few friends who are HIV positive and life isn't so easy for them anymore even though they aren't dying yet.

How far along in pregnancy is she, may I ask? If it's still early abortion still could be an option. If she isn't open to an abortion I would try to talk to her about adoption.
 
xstayfadedx said:
Yeah its so scary hearing some people say things.... Its like you really don't know that? And sometimes you just want to smack them in the face because they lack common sense. If I was a male I wouldn't care if the girl was on birth control or not. I would put on a condom without a doubt just to make sure she doesn't get pregnant (even though it still can happen) and on top of that I would use one to prevent myself from contracting an STD ect.. I volunteered at a clinic and three out of five teens who came in had some form of an std/sti ect... Living in this day and age you have to wear condoms especially with someone you don't know and trust but why do we still find so many guys trying to get out of using a condom? "I shoot blanks..." "Ill pull out in time I promise."

Then either they complain they got a chick pregnant or some disease, ugh 8) what will it take for people to actually stop and think?
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I think lust is part of a biological drive designed to suppress the higher levels of thought in the brain and make a person act on sheer instincts. The less a person thinks in the heat of the moment, the more likely they are to pro-create. So, to answer your question, nothing other than experience and wisdom can solve this problem. It's because of this that condoms are needed to be carried on your person at all times.
 
I was using "you play, you pay" merely as a metaphor. Men getting their panties all up in a bunch and taking ish a little too literally!

BTW, it is highly insulting to consider sex with a woman as only entailing her "spreading her legs". 8)

Like I said before: don't want the responsibility of having to pay for kids you don't want? Get a vasectomy or don't have sex!
 
Unless GM reveals his mystery advice, it seems as though the advice portion of this thread has been all played out. Now it's just the moral outrage and gender-based back and forths we have to look forward to until silverman provides us with an update.
 
munki said:
I was using "you play, you pay" merely as a metaphor. Men getting their panties all up in a bunch and taking ish a little too literally!

BTW, it is highly insulting to consider sex with a woman as only entailing her "spreading her legs". 8)

Like I said before: don't want the responsibility of having to pay for kids you don't want? Make sure you tell the guy you're on birth control and he'll have to pay!
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Fix'd.
 
^^^Typical. Doods not wanting take any responsibility for their actions.
 
^And you sound like a typical "I have a vagina so I'm entitled to X" crazy chick. Whether X is deciding to have a baby or something else. The reason I don't have to wear a condom is because I'm smart enough to stay away from women like you.


Unless GM reveals his mystery advice, it seems as though the advice portion of this thread has been all played out. Now it's just the moral outrage and gender-based back and forths we have to look forward to until silverman provides us with an update.
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It wasn't advice. It was just something I know that worked for another guy.

If you think she wants to keep it to force you to be with her(but you don't), lie to her and tell her you love her, you want to be with her, and you eventually want to have a child with her. Neither of you are ready for that, though, and having one now would end up tearing you guys apart. Once she believes you and gets the abortion, tell her to fuck off.
 
And the guy made a equally as stupid decision. 8)

We go could in circles in this argument forever.
 
munki said:
And the guy made a equally as stupid decision. 8)

We go could in circles in this argument forever.
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I highlighted that because in no way were the decisions being made on an equal level. She could be characterized as having willfully deceived him in order to have a child and leech off him for the rest of their lives. This most likely isn't the case, but, the facts being the facts, you COULD make an argument for this scenario. He made a stupid decision, but I wouldn't say it was equally stupid. I'd say hers was a manipulative decision while his was monumentally stupid one.
I agree with Miss Vanilla that you can't just take people's words for it when it comes to this sort of thing.
 
GenericMind said:
It wasn't advice. It was just something I know that worked for another guy.

If you think she wants to keep it to force you to be with her(but you don't), lie to her and tell her you love her, you want to be with her, and you eventually want to have a child with her. Neither of you are ready for that, though, and having one now would end up tearing you guys apart. Once she believes you and gets the abortion, tell her to fuck off.
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Okay, but it WOULD be advice, sound advice, if you do that while adding this part:

OutOnTheVeranda said:
Just mush up some Plan B and put it in her coffee or something. Every day for a week.
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"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer..."

Sorry ladies, this is as much for your benefit as it is for ours.
Like Miss Vanilla said, you can't trust anyone.
 
Plan B doesn't cause miscarriage anyhow. It only prevents the chance of a fertilized egg from implanting. Once a woman is pregnant its not going to do very much other than make her sick.
 
CoffeeDrinker said:
Yeah that was just a general sort of, "look after your coffee, the guy you're sleeping with could be a huge bastard" type advice.
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I would think a CoffeeDrinker would naturally look after its coffee. But yeah, OP may need mifepristone instead of plain ol plan b.
 
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