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Help. i got a girl I work with preganant. She deceived me and told me she was on BC.

GenericMind said:
And this is why I don't think a man should be held responsible for a child for 18 years if he objects to having it.

If a woman wants to have a baby against the father's will, she should be willing to do it on her own.
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C'mon. You can't be serious. If someone's dumb enough not to take the precautions of wrapping it before you tap it, the fault is even!

Do you always believe everything people tell you? Have you ever not put on a condom simply because she says she on BC?
 
beamers said:
^Don't expect women to be logically consistent when it comes to social responsiblity. If the sexes were reversed in this situation many women (and feminists of course) would be calling "rape". However if a man is deceived it is his own fault.



None, however you are about to find out that men have no reproductive rights even after being deceived.

Now, here's what you do. Make it understood to her that you won't be staying together and that you certainly won't be getting married and that there will not be any $$$. On the last point, the law is not on your side (even though she lied), but you can be a cock about it and draw that out. She just needs enough doubt in her mind and she will baulk, call her bluff. Always be confident and always speak in certain terms, don't be overly cocky, just matter of fact and keep a poker face. Offer an abortion, research where, how much and when it can happen in your area - make it as easy as possible for her, play good cop until she makes it clear that she isn't getting one or if she stalls. When you say that you are walking follow through with it, then she'll have an abortion.
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Not giving money to the mother only hurts the kid. Don't be ridiculous.
 
Lol, you're not going to get out of paying for this child... Even if someone gives you "advice" for it... Damn I love the 400 a month I got from my dad... And he gave my sister 400 too... Oh how lovely child support is. However I was a planned baby but in the end if she keeps the baby there's nothing you can do. That's why you have to realize all the consequences before you engage in sex... Come on you learn that in middle school. Shit happens and sometimes you got to live with it.
 
xstayfadedx said:
Lol, you're not going to get out of paying for this child... Even if someone gives you "advice" for it... Damn I love the 400 a month I got from my dad... And he gave my sister 400 too... Oh how lovely child support is. However I was a planned baby but in the end if she keeps the baby there's nothing you can do. That's why you have to realize all the consequences before you engage in sex... Come on you learn that in middle school. Shit happens and sometimes you got to live with it.
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I agree. I worked with some guy who was an adult at 19 and he told everyone that he intentionally had sex with some woman without a condom twice in the same day, and she already had one kid with some other guy she was with and was cheating on with this guy I worked with, and then he basically asked in a crude way*, "How long does it take for her to get pregnant? Can that even happen from what we did?"

*-In his own words he said, "I fucked this woman I know when her babyfather was away and I got pussy twice in one day. I'm wondering how long after you nut in a bitch does it take for her to get pregnant?"
 
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PriestTheyCalledHim said:
I agree. I worked with some guy who was an adult at 19 and he told everyone that he intentionally had sex with some woman without a condom twice in the same day, and she already had one kid with some other guy she was with and was cheating on with this guy I worked with, and then he basically asked in a crude way*, "How long does it take for her to get pregnant? Can that even happen from what we did?"

*-In his own words he said, "I fucked this woman I know when her babyfather was away and I got pussy twice in one day. I'm wondering how long after you nut in a bitch does it take for her to get pregnant?"
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Yeah its so scary hearing some people say things.... Its like you really don't know that? And sometimes you just want to smack them in the face because they lack common sense. If I was a male I wouldn't care if the girl was on birth control or not. I would put on a condom without a doubt just to make sure she doesn't get pregnant (even though it still can happen) and on top of that I would use one to prevent myself from contracting an STD ect.. I volunteered at a clinic and three out of five teens who came in had some form of an std/sti ect... Living in this day and age you have to wear condoms especially with someone you don't know and trust but why do we still find so many guys trying to get out of using a condom? "I shoot blanks..." "Ill pull out in time I promise."

Then either they complain they got a chick pregnant or some disease, ugh 8) what will it take for people to actually stop and think?
 
condoms suck, may as well not even have sex. everyone preaches safe sex and such but i think i'm not in the minority when i say i hate condoms. A girl should not lie about being on BC as the majority of males will jump at any chance to have sex without a condom especially if they perceive they are safe.
 
Derp she lied, derp. women get pregnant but you shouldn't wear a condom cuz it doesn't feel as good. Derp. You all need it it's the crucial barrier for you [derp] between 5 and 30 seconds before you [derp] your [derp] nuts.
 
xstayfadedx said:
I don't care. If its with a random chick then put one on.... Protect yourself. If not then don't complain about the consequence.
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Honestly I'm 36 in a relationship with 2 kids so condoms ain't a issue for me.
Since my first time at 14 to now ive used condoms twice.
The second time ( 20 yrs old ) using comdons with the same girl the condom broke and 6-8 weeks later I get a abusive phone call and never heard from her again. To this day I expect a knock on the door with someone saying "hi dad".
 
xstayfadedx said:
Damn I love the 400 a month I got from my dad... And he gave my sister 400 too... Oh how lovely child support is.
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WOW. Your mom got $800 a month from your dad? WOW. My mom tried for $50 a week (so, 200 a month) for BOTH of us, and getting that was like pulling teeth. She typically would get it for a few weeks, then he'd skip a few weeks, she'd take his butt to court and then get it for a few weeks, thennnn not get it and take him to court, so on and so forth.

$800/month for two children is a hell of a lot better than $200/month for two children. Esp when high medical bills are taken into account.

Man, I still can't get over that. Eight hundred dollars. What a dad you have.
 
addictivepersona said:
WOW. Your mom got $800 a month from your dad? WOW. My mom tried for $50 a week (so, 200 a month) for BOTH of us, and getting that was like pulling teeth. She typically would get it for a few weeks, then he'd skip a few weeks, she'd take his butt to court and then get it for a few weeks, thennnn not get it and take him to court, so on and so forth.

$800/month for two children is a hell of a lot better than $200/month for two children. Esp when high medical bills are taken into account.

Man, I still can't get over that. Eight hundred dollars. What a dad you have.
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Yeah, lots of deadbeat dads out there. My mom got $800/month too just for support for two kids and then she had her alimony. My mom gave it all away to random men, but at the end of the day, we did have a place to sleep and food. My mom was a POS, but my dad didn't want us around either, because it would ruin his big pimpin. So, he paid to have us live somewhere else. Gotta pay. It's not a good idea to have our youth go hungry and live in utter poverty because the dad wouldn't wrap it up. You need to put in to society, because that kid could be the next great inventor or someone who is valuable. Poverty increases the chance that the kid just becomes a burden on society.

You really don't want to dip out on child support unless you plan to leave the country. If you have a license (medical or law) you can have it taken away and thrown in jail. There are plenty of lawyers who will make it happen.
 
Simply_Live said:
C'mon. You can't be serious. If someone's dumb enough not to take the precautions of wrapping it before you tap it, the fault is even!

Do you always believe everything people tell you? Have you ever not put on a condom simply because she says she on BC?
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Of course I'm being serious. If the "fault" is even than the decision on what to do with the baby should be too. Every time this debate comes up I always hear "It takes two people to make a baby". If it takes two to make a baby, why does only one get to decide the fate of it?

Women shouldn't be popping out babies the father doesn't want unless they're willing to take care of it on their own. And people wonder why society is so fucked up. I bet half our problems can be traced back to the collapse of the traditional family unit and all these kids growing up in broken homes.
 
2 days later and I feel I am making headway. I am approaching the situation in a reasonable, pragmatic fashion and am ignoring my desire to point fingers. After pointing out all of the negative aspects that she will have to endure I feel like the scales of persuasion may be tipping in my direction. If it keeps going this way and she continues to listen to me, i think this will all be a nasty memory by the end of the month. Thanks for everyone's advice. I'll let everyone know the verdict.
 
llama112 said:
I don't really have sympathy for guys in this situation. If a guy has sex without a condom, he is basically expecting to get the girl pregnant.
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Both parties know sex is better without a condom. If a women says she is on some sort of contreception then you generally believe her, why would she lie about this? It's also a give she is most likely sexually active or planning to be. I myself use condoms to protect against std's if a women I dont know very well, even if she is on the pill/jab.

Things like the above really piss me off to be honest. A women can open her legs and let you insert something into her body but it's the mans responsibility to wear a condom while a women can just 'presume' you are? Sorry ladies, if you cannot feel the condom, then check with them, ask, look maybe? Or else expect to get pregnant! It takes 2 to tango, both parties should be held equally responsible, and if pregnancy occurs the same applies. My 2 cents.
 
GenericMind said:
Of course I'm being serious. If the "fault" is even than the decision on what to do with the baby should be too. Every time this debate comes up I always hear "It takes two people to make a baby". If it takes two to make a baby, why does only one get to decide the fate of it?
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One person (the woman) has the ultimate decision because SHE is the one who is carrying the pregnancy, not HIM. Just like others have stated: you play, you pay. Taking responsibility for possible consequences is a part of being a sexually active grownup. Guys such as yourself can complain all you want about the "unfairness" of the situation, but if you are willing to put your sperm inside of a fertile woman, despite whatever she may have said about being on birth control, there is ALWAYS going to be that risk of pregnancy.

Don't want to have any possibility of having kids? Get a vasectomy or don't have sex! Its pretty simple!
 
Sounds like some serious bullshit to me. "You play, you pay"? What are you women? Carnival Rides? Men already have to put up with a retarded amount of shit for sex from women like you that think spreading their legs is some kind of divine act and sacred privilege. It blows my mind that women are legally allowed to force a man to let her birth his child and THEN make him contribute financially to its life for almost 2 decades if he didn't want her to have it in the first place.

How would you feel if the situations were reversed? If the family court systems in this country awarded custody to fathers a vast majority of the time and HE got to choose whether the mother and himself were keeping the baby? You'd be crying a fucking river over the injustice.
 
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