Well...... good thread 1234.
I didn't even start expereimenting with chemicals like acid, MDMA, etc until I was 24.... I went kinda hard with cannabis and grog from 15 to 21, and rarely smoke weed these days, but I still hit the grog hard on most weekends these days.
When I first tasted my MDMA pill, and just fell in love with it instantly and within weeks I was popping 1 pill a weekend to 5-10 pills a weekend for almost 5 months straight then stopped used MDMA, then I went on 4 months acid binge munching almost 5-20 tabs of acid over weekends, and one stage it just got out of control, when I went in some acid eating competition with my crazy group of mates down the Gold Coast whom I no longer see these days, and I ended up eating 23 tabs of acid in one night, I am not proud of this.... but it was crazy expereince and full on hard intense halluications lasting for almost 2 days, and towards end of acid binge I was starting to get paranoid and losing touch with reality, and stopped used acid, then I went on Benzo binge popping over 30-60mg of diazepams every night for 3-4 months and I just decided I was going too far with benzo's, and I suddenly asked a trusted friend to take my pile of benzos and don't give them to me anymore just get rid of them, as I was losing touch with my benzo source and quitted benzos cold turkey and I have been without benzos for 8 days now.... and the first 3 days without benzos was ROUGH, I even called work sick for the first two days because I didnt sleep for 2 days straight and I was getting cold sweats and shivers and nasty withdrawls, and I hitted the bottles of whiskey pretty hard the first 2 days of my benzo withdrawls......
Gee....I am turning 26 at end of this year.... Once I turned 24....went thru GOING HARD stages with different drugs, ...... and now days I have kinda slowed down and I went pretty hard on Saturday night, as It was my first MDMA/MDA since xmas and I popped 2 beige a's and I was a MUNTED ZOMBIE, it was probably the first night I went hard since Xmas day when I took heaps of combos of drugs in span over 3 days and even candyflipped on Xmas day with my sister and keep taking more pills and drank copious amounts of grog, and I had the most messy comedown in my life after 3 days Xmas binge.
I don't know why I going through "going hard" stages...... I have slowed down heaps since Xmas just mostly expereimenting with mushrooms, RC's, 2c * family chemicals, while going thru my addiction with Benzos. I still think about benzos now even 8 days without benzos is my personal record. I wished I never started benzos at the first place. Valium is a nice drug, but when abused, its a nasty shit, the physical withdrawls are not nice at all.
I am not glad or proud or don't have any feelings about these times I went "hard" last 14 or so months... its been a very roller coaster expereince for me, I still got my job, pay my rent, bills, etc... I always get these paid first before I go overboard with drugs.
It was the magic mushroom expereince I went through eariler this year gave me the biggest reality check and "kick in the arse expereince", and I was going through a terrified bad trip. (which can checked out at trip reports
here which could explain a little bit better) ..... because this mushroom trip woke me up and kinda slowed down "going hard" stages.... but yet didnt stop my benzo addiction.... But I am trying hard.
I have really learnt a lot last 15 months... its been very soul searching expereince and shit like that, I really cant explain prefectly. Or even this post I am typing makes any sense, which could proves my mind is still bit messy from 8 days without benzos. 8(
At the end.... this thread made me ask myself the question:
What have I archieved last 15 months? and I couldnt really give a answer to myself.... or maybe I am not being honest with myself or I am in "denial".... really I have archieved....
nothing but just brought me through of "artificial happiness" and "good times" that didnt last......
Thats the best I could explain......
Cheers,
Urbie..... 8)