H.M.P. Bluelight Towers - Top Dog

Haley has the charisma and blank stare of a grade A serial killer, so i'm Taking her.

Michelle is my unicorn, because she is from my state and i think it's erotic that she convinced her boyfriend to commit suicide for her. She also has massive tits IRL IIRC.

Edit: confirmed:

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Damn why not include some actual hot psycho dudes not fuckin curious George or whatever his name is...I can't motivate myself properly for this episode
 
Bonus Mission #5 Dogfight

Welcome to H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS!​



Ready?
Let's play:


TOP DOG
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BONUS MISSION #5

H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
BOXING CLUB

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Another GRUDGE MATCH!

Post the name of the winner before 20.00 hours Thursday 3rd. January and you'll be the man dog


DEANO

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"I HIT HIM ONCE. HE WENT DOWN. END OF"


versus

SCOUSE JOE

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"I'M FROM LIVERPOOL. SMACKING PEOPLE HARD IN THE FACE IS PART OF MY CULTURE"​


CHECK HERE FAM 2 SEE WHO IS

TOP DOG


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AND WHO IS THE PUG

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IF A BOXER DOUBLE CROSSES YOU
YOU ARE GOING DOWN​
 
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I'm going with Scouse Joe, too. Deano looks like he's trying too hard to look like a hard ass. Scouse Joe looks like he knows he can knock anyone the fuck out and doesn't need to put up a front.
 
Yeah Deano is a total wuss. I'll take Joe. (If he wants to swing by my cell afterwards for a victory lap, he can join in)

If the goal is to pick the craziest bitch possible but also avoid being murdered, I'm going with Katy. With Haley as the unicorn. Aimee and Brenda are stone cold demonic murderers. Kathy looks like she's about 13 or 14. No thanks. Michelle is too Mormon-y. The rest are too plain, probably boring. No respect.
 
For the ladies, I'll go with jo.... shes got a knowing look in her eyes that says to me something isnt quite right up in ol wonderland.... unicorn pick would have to be Aimee, same deal, just looks less capable...

As for fight night, I've got deano, Joe looks soft and that jaw looks glass.
 
Haley has a face that says her ass won't quit. I need that in my life.


For the boxing match, Deano has the meaner looking face but his hair says he spent at least 5 minutes on it so he is prolly all hat and no cattle. Joe will win.
 
psycho: katy - black widow and yandere extraordinaire

unicorn: brenda - absentmindedly creates friction with other women cause of her looks and wont let go of what she wants regardless. have shiv will use... repeatedly

50/50 chance the night is going to end epic or two body bags and a stretcher
 
ZEPHYR Won no RESPECT from the other inmates, just hung out all week in the prison workshop carrying out ultra-low paid, mind-numbing, and repetitious manual work. SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY is slightly encouraged by the inmates progress towards rehabilitation
Click to expand...


I have no fucking clue what you sickos are banging on about in this thread .



Beta check yo self before u wreck yo self


Etc
 
i want to change my choice of katy to zephyr

almost guaranteed not to walk out of that cell with my johnson if i call her another woman's name in the heat of the moment
 
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Fuck sake I'm a short, fat middle aged fucktard with glasses.


You cunts are all seasoned junkie criminals, most of which have alleged authority over me here.


Harden the fuck up you pussies.

:p
 
Boxer Dog: DEANO vs SCOUSE JOE LIVE COVERAGE


FULL HOUSE AT THE HARDCASE GYM

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LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!

​

We join the fight in the third round:


Commentator #4:

Deano is looking bloodied and tired here, Scouse Joe is just waiting for one mistake. There it is, he's coming round, he's feinting him, he's feinting him, oh he nearly took Deano's fucking head off with that uppercut!

Commentator #3:
Not dissimilar to the uppercut Dean "Deano" Hartley dished out to his friend one night. Both out on the piss and with no warning Deano sneakily unleashed his King Punch on his drunken friend knocking the poor fucker right out.

Commentator #4:
That's nasty, I bet he doesn't like that story being told. I'd heard... Wait a minute! Go on Scouse Joe, step in son, one more right hand will do it. He's fucking down, he's down, stay down Deano you fucker, stay down!

Commentator #3:
Yeah stay down like your mate stayed down that fateful night Deano. Deano punched his mate from behind and his head hit a kerb on the way down and he died in hospital two days later. Good old Deano then lied to the filth and said he found Karl in a heap on the floor and that he must have fallen over.

Commentator #4:
Fuck sakes!

Not very fucking sport me old mucker. Aha! Deano's staggering all over the show, he's just like me on a fucking Saturday night, come on Scouse Joe!

Commentator #4:
Jump on him Scouse Joe. You've got him now, one more shot will do it! Stop wiping his fucking gloves, Mackay! You're giving Deano time to recover! Come on, let him at the twat!

Commentator #3:
Mackay is right to hold Scouse Joe back after the fight here the other week when Jason slaughtered Mark. Scouse Joe a.k.a. Joseph Saunderson is a two times England A.B.A.E. Champion. He's fought for England and Great Britain, captaining the England team that won gold in the GB Schoolboy Championships, he was a hopeful for the Olympics...

Commentator #4:
Dear God! The magic sponge has given old Deano his second wind. He's coming at Scouse Joe with all he's got. Look at him move! An amazing flurry of blows and not one landed! Hahaha Scouse Joe is making this look easy!

Commentator #4:
OUCH! That one must have fucking hurt! Deano's well on the ropes the muggy cunt. Mackay get fucking counting, come on! I think the fight is almost over now. The counts at eight, Oh My God! Mackay's pushing Deano back into it again, what the actual fuck is Mackay thinking of?


Commentator #4:
Fucks sake, yet another wipe of Scouse Joe's gloves, can someone fucking knock Mackay right the fuck out please! Come on Scouse Joe, Jesus Christ. That's it! BANG! What a fucking punch! Well done Scouse Joe! Hang on, what? I don't believe it, Mackay is ruining this fight! Fucking Deano is down and Mackay is giving him time to recover. Twice in two minutes it's only the ropes stopping Deano from hitting the deck! What the fuck is Mackay doing in the ring tonight?


Commentator #3
Scouse Joe is inside for possession of a stolen shotgun. Already got convictions for stealing cars, then the dickhead steals another one and crashes it. He then strolls from the wreckage flaunting the hot shooter like he owned the shop, the shotgun was actually cocked and ready to fire, the fucking plonker. And the way he's using those guns of his tonight, you have to ask why on earth would he need a fucking stolen shotgun?

Commentator #4:
Surely one more shot is going to do it, put the pressure on, Scouse Joe, go to the body now. That murdering bastard Deano is staggering all over the show, he's like a mummified wardrobe, surely one more poke will do it. YES! He can't get up again! Fuck off Mackay! Fuck right off! I'm going to spark that sweaty sock of a warden out myself if he steps in again!

Commentator #4:
He's got him in the corner now, keep the punches going Scouse Joe, put him under, come on you're going to do it! Dear sweet Jesus would you look at the speed of that! Scouse Joe is really pulling all his tricks out of the bag and Deano is completely fucked! Yes! Yes! It's fucking over! Deano hits the fucking canvas and he sure ain't getting up this time!

TONIGHT'S WINNER IS

SCOUSE JOE!


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YOUR ENEMIES TEARS
WILL
TASTE LIKE FINE WINE​
 
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