H.M.P. Bluelight Towers - Top Dog

Jessica is the pedo. She finds teenage boys (13 years old is her sweet spot)* in online chat rooms and has her way with them. That they're entirely willing is really beside the point.

Amy is the fraud. She pretended to be a trust fund baby to borrow a shit ton of money, faked documents and birth records and everything. In reality she sees herself that way but she isn't at all and finally she got caught up.

Emily framed her ex for murder. She murdered his oldest friend, who happens to be a girl, because of her insane jealousy issues. She made it out like they were fucking on the side and his friend was going to reveal it so he killed her. In reality, Emily really believed they were fucking on the side and that's why she did it.

Steffi is innocent. She just loves to fish and she's proud of her abilities. I mean she loves doing 6-APB and MDMA and mephedrone and haxing sex with Shadowmeister, but since when is that a crime? Well she hasn't gotten caught yet anyway.



*My really good friend who is an old school BLer lost his oral sex virginity this exact way when he was 13. She contacted him in a chat room and came and picked him up a few blocks from his house and gave him a blow job and then dropped him off. I think it was Jessica.
 
Jessica framed her ex, Amy is innocent, Emily the fraud, and steffi is the pedo..... although I doubt the kid would've objected.
 
1 and 2 Framed exes they have that crazy look in their eyes.

3 and 4 are a bit tougher, but I'm thinking:

3 Fraud

4 Pedo (teacher?)
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Wait there's another one, and no scoring system? I already knew I was a loser. Now I'm disappointed in having no relativism validate my losership.
Click to expand...

I'm keeping them open till next week for the GRAND FINALE

There will be one more lecture then it's the GREAT ESCAPE
 
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Hey Cap., where's your amazing location text gone?

I'm not sure what you mean by Final Exit? The regular players have nominated an escape plan please see post #287 if you would like to choose one for yourself. The simulation is somewhat linear but I am willing to adapt to suit players preferences although be warned things are drawing to a GRAND CLIMAX

Anyone who fails to escape [the aim of the game] will either be left to rot in H.M.P. Bluelight Towers or will be released on licence and forced to give up their glamorous lifestyle of free drugs, random criminal acts, extreme action violence and wild degenerate sex with highly attractive gutter tramps for a mundane life watching soap operas, eating basic foodstuffs and humiliating themselves doing mind numbing work for minimum wage and having to lick the arses of disgusting toads for the privilege.

Choose life.
Choose a job.
Choose a career.
Choose a family,

Choose a fucking big television
Choose washing machines, cars,
Compact disc players, and electrical tin openers.
Choose good health, low cholesterol

And dental insurance.
Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments.
Choose a starter home.
Choose your friends.

Choose leisure wear and matching luggage.
Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase
In a range of fucking fabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who you

Are on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing
Spirit-crushing game shows
Stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth.

Choose rotting away at the end of it all,
Pishing you last in a miserable home
Nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish,
Fucked-up brats

You have spawned to replace yourself.
Choose your future. Choose life

The TOP DOGS have of course chosen something else.

Should you wish to take a different course to that offered please submit a narrative and I will endeavour to accommodate as long as it is within the largely undefined parameters of the simulation. I have assumed that knowledge of these parameters is known to the players.

Not very fair I know, but life never is. It's just for FUN after all. And I guess you're just teasing me anyway?
xxx
 
Jessica - Fraud. Ashamed look in her eyes isn't from guilt, it's from being ashamed she got caught.

Amy - Pedo. Lustful eyes are use to getting away with everything, including being a fucking pedo. It's not her first time.

Emily - Innocent looking, but that's exactly why she framed someone for murder, she thought she could get away with it.

Steffi- Innocent
 
Prison University Lecture #6 The Early Days

FROM THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR

Deleted episodes of:

Welcome to

H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS​


Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Difficulty level:2

For Even More RESPECT

Let's play:

The deleted episodes of


TOP DOG
PRISON UNIVERSITY
LECTURE#6

LOCATION:

H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
LECTURE HALL

PRISON IS A PLACE TO LEARN

​



LECTURE TITLE:


"HARD LABOUR, HARD FARE AND HARD BOARD"

​

WIN yet more RESPECT by being the BEST at:

TOP DOG DELETED EPISODE:


LECTURE#6
IN
CRIMINAL ANTHROPOLOGY​


Good evening gentlemen and thank you for attending this our final lecture. Good to see some new faces here, always a pleasure to see new students.

By now you should all be proficient in spotting criminals by the way they look - pierced earlobes; bloodshot eyes; very shouty; left handed; pointy or stubby fingers and toes and so forth. Before the Theory of Criminal Anthropology was posited, law enforcers in Victorian times struggled to spot hardened criminals as they had to rely on an incomplete although admirably correct list of typical characteristics of criminality to identify SCOFFLAWS such as:



    • Idleness
      Drunkenness
      Immorality
      Knowing more than two swear words
      Reading sensational literature
      High sex drive
      Loud laughter
      Having no money
      Being Irish, Welsh, Scottish or just out and out Foreign
      Brightly coloured and/or raggedy clothing
      Wanting to eat middle and upper class foodstuffs
      Living in damp hovels
      Working class accents
      Bald head

Victorians were keen to punish lawbreakers, and correctly viewed criminals as an underclass that were just waiting to commit crimes. Criminals lived outdoors or in squats, had multiple sexual partners, abused alcohol and exotic new drugs day and night, and generally ignored the mores of polite society.

Hmmmmm.

Rehabilitation for this class of person was not an option, just punishment, and plenty of it.

Jails were quickly reformed under the strapline:

HARD LABOUR, HARD FARE AND HARD BOARD.

Hard Labour:
the treadmill, the crank and picking oakum.
Hard Fare:
a deliberately monotonous diet, with exactly the same food on the same day each week.
Hard Board:
wooden board beds replaced the hammocks that prisoners had slept on before.

Add to that regular beatings, use of straight jackets and leg irons to chain prisoners to walls and of course: transportation.

Hanging was obviously the preferred solution for multiple re-offenders - even children.

Perhaps hunger, deprivation, abuse and privation can cause people to become criminals?

Who cares! There's plenty more where they came from!

SIX of the following have been found guilty by a jury of their socially superior, intellectual and moral betters and rightly jailed with hard labour; the most bad ass criminal detailed here was actually transported to Van Damiens Land for LIFE [HUZZAH!] for committing one of the following crimes:

STEALING IRON - bits of scrap - all you can carry in a bag!
PICKPOCKET - He could undo a ladies brassiere and remove it from under her blouse with the finesse of a dacoit!
BURGLARY - a waistcoat, silk socks, some pins and half a pork pie!
CAT KILLER - somebody's pet but certainly a sweet puss!
MILKED A COW AND DRANK THE MILK - about one pint, said they were hungry. Then told the judges to FUCK OFF YOU CUNTS
STEALING LEAD OFF A CHURCH ROOF - on Boxing Day FFS!
INNOCENT OF THESE CHARGES

For full credits, which one was TRANSPORTED?

Good luck, now please turn the question paper over:




VICTORIAN WHAT'S MY CRIME?

uni-6-vic-2.jpg

"Beat the evil out of them"



ANNE
uni-6-ann.jpg

?





HARRY
uni-6-harry.jpg

?



PADDY THE DEVIL
uni-6-paddy-the-devil.jpg

?





PEP
uni-6-pep.jpg

?







ELLEN
uni-6-ellen.jpg

?







SAM
uni-6-sam-sweet.jpg

?







BILLY
uni-6-william.jpg

?​


Good Luck!

Maximize your
RESPECT

And yes, you'll be the intellectual dog

BlueLight_Logo.png

PRISON UNIVERSITY
PUTTING IDIOTS FIRST​
 
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"Beat the devil out of them" (LOL) is innocent

Anne's a milk drinker

Harry is the pick pocket

Paddy has a side hustle in roof removal

Pep kills cats by the litter

Ellen Degenerate was stealing iron

Sam is a burglar

Billy is innocent
 
Anne - Milked a cow and drank the milk. Guy looks like a bozo.

Harry - Cat killer. Dead pan stare indicates a remorseless psychopath, and young children are always the ones fucking around with their pets.

Paddy - Stealing lead off a church roof. Looks like he just fell off, and who's stupid enough to do it on boxing day? Fucking moron, as seen by picture.

Pep - Innocent.

Ellen - Burglary. No one would expect a young girl to steal, but a waistcoat and silk socks is the dead give away.

Sam - Stealing iron scraps.. by the bag. Guy can't plan further than you could throw him, and can just about manage a bag with two hands.

Billy - Pickpocket. Dresses nice to blend into the crowd, but picks your pocket like any other ruthless bastard.
 
STEALING IRON - Harry stole the iron. He was trying to get enough to eat dinner. Poor kid.

PICKPOCKET - Sam did it

BURGLARY - "Anne" did it. Anne is actually a man who is moonlighting as a Native American. He wants free shit, and also is trying to bad-mouth both Native Americans and women.

CAT KILLER - Pep, obviously, I mean come on

MILKED A COW AND DRANK THE MILK - Paddy thought the cow's udders were his lady's teats. On account of ETHANOL. Quite too much I might add...

STEALING LEAD OFF A CHURCH ROOF - Ellen stole it... her family was starving and lead sells.

INNOCENT OF THESE CHARGES - Billy is innocent. He's actually a train conductor and he only looks sketchy because of the 1800s.
 
Shadowmeister said:
INNOCENT OF THESE CHARGES - Billy is innocent. He's actually a train conductor and he only looks sketchy because of the 1800s.
Click to expand...
Clearly a train conducting, moonlighting haberdasher. A victim of circumstance. O quam cito transit gloria mundi!
 
stealing iron - Billy
pick pocket - Ellen
Burglary- Sam
Cat killer- Pep
milked cow and drank milk- Anne
stealing lead off church roof- Paddy the Devil
innocent of these charges- Harry
 
Shadowmeister said:
STEALING IRON - Harry stole the iron. He was trying to get enough to eat dinner. Poor kid.

PICKPOCKET - Sam did it

BURGLARY - "Anne" did it. Anne is actually a man who is moonlighting as a Native American. He wants free shit, and also is trying to bad-mouth both Native Americans and women.

CAT KILLER - Pep, obviously, I mean come on

MILKED A COW AND DRANK THE MILK - Paddy thought the cow's udders were his lady's teats. On account of ETHANOL. Quite too much I might add...

STEALING LEAD OFF A CHURCH ROOF - Ellen stole it... her family was starving and lead sells.

INNOCENT OF THESE CHARGES - Billy is innocent. He's actually a train conductor and he only looks sketchy because of the 1800s.
Click to expand...

How the fuck is a little girl going to steal Lead? :)
 
The same way anyone else steals lead. With her hands.
 
Lecture #4 - results

FROM THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR

Deleted episodes of:

Welcome to

H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS​

The deleted episodes of

TOP DOG
PRISON UNIVERSITY
LECTURE#4

LOCATION:

H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
LECTURE HALL

PRISON IS A PLACE TO LEARN

​
LECTURE TITLE:


"THE IGNORANT MAN ALWAYS ADORES WHAT HE CANNOT UNDERSTAND"

​

LECTURE #4
EXAMINATION RESULTS:


CAIN MCLAREN
UNI-4-CAIN.jpg

ROBBER
TARGETED CONVENIENCE STORES
WORE A BALACLAVA AND A HOOD WAVED A KNIFE AROUND
SPOKE WITH A LOCAL ACCENT
USED A MOBILE STOLEN FROM ONE OF HIS VICTIMS
HIS ASTRA WAS SEEN NEAR THE SCENES OF HIS CRIMES
WITH FALSE NUMBERPLATES SELLOTAPED ON IT
DEFENDED HIMSELF IN COURT AND SUBSEQUENTLY JAILED
INDICATORS:
ROUND HEAD
JUG EARS
RAGGEDY CLOTHING


DEAN WALMSLEY
UNI-4-DEAN.jpg

PEDO KNICKER THIEF
BANNED FROM ENTERING ALLEYWAYS THREE YEARS AGO FOR STEALING KNICKERS
WEARS A TAG WHICH SHOWED HE WENT DOWN BACK ALLEYS
BEHIND DWELLINGS FIVE TIMES IN ONE NIGHT
ALSO HAD A MOBILE PHONE IN CONTRAVENTION
OF HIS SEXUAL OFFENCES ORDER
INDICATORS
NYLON CLOTHING
MEAN SNAKE EYES


GERAINT WALKER
UNI-4-GERAINT.jpg

INNOCENT



PATSY REVINS
UNI-4-PATSY.jpg

SHANKING MANDEM
PATRICK "PATSY" REVINS IS A SERIAL VIOLENT OFFENDER
WITH OVER 70 CONVICTIONS TO HIS CREDIT
58 YEARS OLD, SPENT 29 OF THEM BEHIND BARS
ON THIS OCCASION TRIED TO SELL A 14 YEAR OLD BOY SOME MINTS AS BEING ECSTASY
HIS VICTIM THREW THE PILLS ON THE GROUND AND WENT INTO A MCDONALDS
PATSY WAITED OUTSIDE FOR HIM WITH A LARGE KNIFE
A PASSER BY WRESTLED HIM TO THE GROUND AND HELD HIM TILL THE POLICE CAME
PATSY INSISTED THE KNIFE WAS A REMOTE CONTROL FOR HIS TELEVISION.
INDICATORS:​


How did our students fare?

BPTUBBS
Current Credits = 6
Lecture #4 scored 50% = 2
New Credit Total = 8
The BLACK CAP AND GOWN is NEARLY yours!
But we are Confident you can Order your SCARLET GOWN from TINK!
RESPECT!


WO1FG4NG
Lecture #4 scored 100% = 4
New Credit Total = 4
RESPECT!


MADNESS00
Current Credits = 9
Lecture #4 scored 25% = 1
New Credit Total = 10
The BLACK CAP AND GOWN is yours!
But we are Confident you can Order your SCARLET GOWN from TINK!
RESPECT!


MAL3VOLENT
Current Credits = 11
Lecture #4 scored 20% = 1
Credit given re:
PATSY REVINS
New Credit Total = 12
The BLACK CAP AND GOWN is yours!
But we are Confident you can Order your SCARLET GOWN from TINK!
RESPECT!


CAPTAIN.HEROIN
Lecture #4 scored 20% = 1
Credit given re:
PATSY REVINS
New Credit Total = 1
RESPECT!


SHADOWMEISTER
Current Credits = 11
Lecture #4 scored 45% = 2
Credit given re:
PATSY REVINS
New Credit Total = 13
SCARLET GOWN!
CONGRATULATIONS TO:
DOCTOR S. MEISTER PhD.

​
RESPECT!


IN SUMMARY:

DR. S. MEISTER PhD. has been approached to lecture at KEELE UNIVERSITY
RESPECT!

MR. VOLENT is VALEDICTORIAN SUMMA CUM LAUDE
RESPECT!

MAGNA CUM LAUDE student MR. 00
RESPECT!

CUM LAUDE student MR. TUBBS
RESPECT!

COMMENDED students MR.G4NG and MR. HEROIN
RESPECT!

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PRISON UNIVERSITY
YOU BELONG HERE​
 
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