Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
They call him a ROUGH DIAMOND, this MADNESS00. Word is PRINCE HARRY has ordered the same underwear as worn by MADNESS00 from BAD BOY TANGUY.
Fucking lol.
Fucking lol.
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers - Top Dog
- Thread starter leet
- Start date
leet
Bluelighter
Top Dog Episode #7 - RESULTS
SHADOWMEISTER
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers MADE MAN!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 61
Looking like the DOGS BOLLOCKS = 6
Secret RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
BELOVED OF THE CHATTERING CLASSES = 4
Recruited DAVID JENKINS = 10
Recruited WILLIAM FIEGIEL = 1
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
University Undergraduate a.k.a.SMARTS = 4
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
Refurbished HARDKNOCK GYM = 3
TOTAL RESPECT = 89
SHADOWMEISTER "THIS AIN'T NO PARTY, THIS AIN'T NO DISCO, THIS AIN'T NO FOOLING AROUND"
SHADOWMEISTER got his first positive character reference ever in the national press, albeit page 5 - the lifestyle section, for encouraging a young criminal to go straight and become a bad boy high end tailor. SHADOWMEISTER also has the kudos of being the first person to order a commission from him.
TANGUY VIAD is so ON TREND right now and quite the darling of the socially concerned liberal metropolitan class.
So now they talk about SHADOWMEISTER in Chelsea and Kensington, Islington and Hampstead. They call him a ROUGH DIAMOND, this SHADOWMEISTER. Word is PRINCE HARRY has ordered the same cowboy chaps as worn by SHADOWMEISTER from BAD BOY TANGUY.
A geezer with a heart of gold, there's talk of getting SHADOWMEISTER on Dragons Den, albeit in nickel plated handcuffs.
SHADOWMEISTER:
has got three passports
a couple of visas
not many people even know his real name...
But they do know
he ALWAYS dresses with CLASS!
SHADOWMEISTER pulled some strings and his DOPEY MUG of a probation officer got him onto the CLEANING CREW before SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY could blink. SHADOWMEISTER went through the records of the new intake while cleaning the WELFARE OFFICE and pulled the jacket on DAVID JENKINS and saw the future. A future with JENKS working as his right hand man.
Fucking JENKS knows his ANDROGEL from his ANDRODERM and had huge experience in bashing drugs and dealing efficiently with cash. After a short chat with SHADOWMEISTER, JENKS happily came on board as JUNIOR PARTNER and now spends most of his time running the pop-up lab in the OLD POTTING SHED and ensuring that H.M.P. Bluelight Towers is a Gutter of Lust, Degradation and Random Violence
SHADOWMEISTER initially thought WILLIAM FIGIEL was filth, but a quick dekko at his file removed that doubt. BILLY's position in the FAM is that of an annoying, incompetent sidekick for SHADOWMEISTER, who barely tolerates him. The only talent BILLY has is the ability to tolerate any amount of abuse, and he needs it, given how often SHADOWMEISTER is yelling at him and throwing him face-first into walls.
SHADOWMEISTER is currently unaware that there is a BASTARD PEDOPHILE EX-COPPER "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about SHADOWMEISTER immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
49%
SHADOWMEISTER is currently unaware that there is a FUCKING GRASS "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced MARTIN TATE and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about SHADOWMEISTER immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
30%
Having these two SNITCHES on his wing could seriously FUCK UP things for SHADOWMEISTER. Either one of them is capable of PISSING ALL OVER HIS CHIPS...
His was a world of real gone guys and dolls on dope, the man they called SHADOWMEISTER
Give him a vacuum cleaner, two glass jars, and a rummage in the products to be found under the kitchen sink and he WILL get you high, why isn't he TOP DOG yet?
RESPECT!
INVEGAUSER
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CAPO CRIMINE!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 35
Hobbit = -15
CAUSE OF DROUGHT = -10
TOTAL RESPECT = 10
INVEGAUSER HIS CRAZY LIFE IS JUST FILLED WITH BLOODSHED, BEDROOMS AND BELLY LAUGHS!
INVEGAUSER is currently unaware that there is a BASTARD PEDOPHILE EX-COPPER "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about INVEGAUSER immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
75%
INVEGAUSER is currently unaware that there is a FUCKING GRASS "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced MARTIN TATE and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about INVEGAUSER immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
37%
Having these two SNITCHES on his wing could seriously FUCK UP things for INVEGAUSER. Either one of them is capable of PISSING ALL OVER HIS CHIPS...
INVEGAUSER is also currently unaware that there is a FILTHY NONCE stinking up his wing.
Many blame INVEGAUSER for the drought in all drugs and tech caused by his mental collapse and his RESPECT levels have TUMBLED.
INVEGAUSER - CAN IT GET ANY WORSE?
DR SAVILE WILL SEE YOU NOW
HE'S HAD A VIAGRA
There are promising indicators that INVEGAUSER might respond well to treatment, but is still prone to savage and seemingly unprovoked rages. THE GOOD DR. SAVILLE is working very closely with INVEGAUSER and The Governor is convinced THE GOOD DR. SAVILLE is straining every sinew in his straining sinewy body to fix it for INVEGAUSER to perhaps be fit to be returned back into the general prison population. Apparently it's going to take a lot of one on one sessions in private.
SAD, SO SAD
The glory of TOP DOG has been swapped for ROHYPNOL
RESPECT!
SHADOWMEISTER
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers MADE MAN!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 61
Looking like the DOGS BOLLOCKS = 6
Secret RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
BELOVED OF THE CHATTERING CLASSES = 4
Recruited DAVID JENKINS = 10
Recruited WILLIAM FIEGIEL = 1
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
University Undergraduate a.k.a.SMARTS = 4
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
Refurbished HARDKNOCK GYM = 3
TOTAL RESPECT = 89
SHADOWMEISTER "THIS AIN'T NO PARTY, THIS AIN'T NO DISCO, THIS AIN'T NO FOOLING AROUND"
SHADOWMEISTER got his first positive character reference ever in the national press, albeit page 5 - the lifestyle section, for encouraging a young criminal to go straight and become a bad boy high end tailor. SHADOWMEISTER also has the kudos of being the first person to order a commission from him.
TANGUY VIAD is so ON TREND right now and quite the darling of the socially concerned liberal metropolitan class.
So now they talk about SHADOWMEISTER in Chelsea and Kensington, Islington and Hampstead. They call him a ROUGH DIAMOND, this SHADOWMEISTER. Word is PRINCE HARRY has ordered the same cowboy chaps as worn by SHADOWMEISTER from BAD BOY TANGUY.
A geezer with a heart of gold, there's talk of getting SHADOWMEISTER on Dragons Den, albeit in nickel plated handcuffs.
SHADOWMEISTER:
has got three passports
a couple of visas
not many people even know his real name...
But they do know
he ALWAYS dresses with CLASS!
SHADOWMEISTER pulled some strings and his DOPEY MUG of a probation officer got him onto the CLEANING CREW before SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY could blink. SHADOWMEISTER went through the records of the new intake while cleaning the WELFARE OFFICE and pulled the jacket on DAVID JENKINS and saw the future. A future with JENKS working as his right hand man.
Fucking JENKS knows his ANDROGEL from his ANDRODERM and had huge experience in bashing drugs and dealing efficiently with cash. After a short chat with SHADOWMEISTER, JENKS happily came on board as JUNIOR PARTNER and now spends most of his time running the pop-up lab in the OLD POTTING SHED and ensuring that H.M.P. Bluelight Towers is a Gutter of Lust, Degradation and Random Violence
OHM
SHADOWMEISTER initially thought WILLIAM FIGIEL was filth, but a quick dekko at his file removed that doubt. BILLY's position in the FAM is that of an annoying, incompetent sidekick for SHADOWMEISTER, who barely tolerates him. The only talent BILLY has is the ability to tolerate any amount of abuse, and he needs it, given how often SHADOWMEISTER is yelling at him and throwing him face-first into walls.
SHADOWMEISTER is currently unaware that there is a BASTARD PEDOPHILE EX-COPPER "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about SHADOWMEISTER immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
49%
SHADOWMEISTER is currently unaware that there is a FUCKING GRASS "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced MARTIN TATE and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about SHADOWMEISTER immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
30%
Having these two SNITCHES on his wing could seriously FUCK UP things for SHADOWMEISTER. Either one of them is capable of PISSING ALL OVER HIS CHIPS...
His was a world of real gone guys and dolls on dope, the man they called SHADOWMEISTER
Give him a vacuum cleaner, two glass jars, and a rummage in the products to be found under the kitchen sink and he WILL get you high, why isn't he TOP DOG yet?
RESPECT!
INVEGAUSER
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CAPO CRIMINE!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 35
Hobbit = -15
CAUSE OF DROUGHT = -10
TOTAL RESPECT = 10
INVEGAUSER HIS CRAZY LIFE IS JUST FILLED WITH BLOODSHED, BEDROOMS AND BELLY LAUGHS!
INVEGAUSER is currently unaware that there is a BASTARD PEDOPHILE EX-COPPER "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about INVEGAUSER immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
75%
INVEGAUSER is currently unaware that there is a FUCKING GRASS "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced MARTIN TATE and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about INVEGAUSER immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
37%
Having these two SNITCHES on his wing could seriously FUCK UP things for INVEGAUSER. Either one of them is capable of PISSING ALL OVER HIS CHIPS...
INVEGAUSER is also currently unaware that there is a FILTHY NONCE stinking up his wing.
Many blame INVEGAUSER for the drought in all drugs and tech caused by his mental collapse and his RESPECT levels have TUMBLED.
INVEGAUSER - CAN IT GET ANY WORSE?
DR SAVILE WILL SEE YOU NOW
HE'S HAD A VIAGRA
There are promising indicators that INVEGAUSER might respond well to treatment, but is still prone to savage and seemingly unprovoked rages. THE GOOD DR. SAVILLE is working very closely with INVEGAUSER and The Governor is convinced THE GOOD DR. SAVILLE is straining every sinew in his straining sinewy body to fix it for INVEGAUSER to perhaps be fit to be returned back into the general prison population. Apparently it's going to take a lot of one on one sessions in private.
SAD, SO SAD
The glory of TOP DOG has been swapped for ROHYPNOL
RESPECT!
Last edited:
leet
Bluelighter
Top Dog Episode #7 - RESULTS
SWILOW
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers FILCHER!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 17
Hobbit = -10
Business as Usual ABDU = 3
CAUSE OF DROUGHT = -10
TOTAL RESPECT = 0
SWILOW has not recovered from his 6-APB binge. There are promising indicators that SWILOW could respond well to treatment, but is still prone to savage and seemingly unprovoked rages. THE GOOD DR. SAVILLE is working very closely with SWILOW and The Governor is convinced THE GOOD DR. SAVILLE is straining every sinew in his sinewy body to fix it for SWILOW to one day be fit to be returned back into the general prison population. Apparently it's going to take a lot of one on one sessions.
His FAM are struggling to ensure it was BUSINESS AS USUAL as rival firms are moving in on his turf and the BETA DOGS are drifting away to join a better CREW.
ALEX has left and ABDU can snort COKE coke for Britain. SWILOW's FAM is a bad joke.
The prison population is capitalizing on this power vacuum.
SWILOW has lost the plot. The Probation Service are "promising" to "look into" a Home Visit if the GOOD CONDUCT continues.
WOT A MUG
BOO!
WO1FG4NG
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers FILCHER!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 7
Hobbit = -7
TOTAL RESPECT = 0
WO1FG4NG Won no RESPECT from the other inmates, just hung out all week in the prison workshop smashing Grateful Dead CD's with a toffee hammer. The Probation Service are "promising" to "look into" a Home Visit if the GOOD CONDUCT continues.
WOT A MUG
BOO!
SWILOW
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers FILCHER!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 17
Hobbit = -10
Business as Usual ABDU = 3
CAUSE OF DROUGHT = -10
TOTAL RESPECT = 0
SWILOW has not recovered from his 6-APB binge. There are promising indicators that SWILOW could respond well to treatment, but is still prone to savage and seemingly unprovoked rages. THE GOOD DR. SAVILLE is working very closely with SWILOW and The Governor is convinced THE GOOD DR. SAVILLE is straining every sinew in his sinewy body to fix it for SWILOW to one day be fit to be returned back into the general prison population. Apparently it's going to take a lot of one on one sessions.
His FAM are struggling to ensure it was BUSINESS AS USUAL as rival firms are moving in on his turf and the BETA DOGS are drifting away to join a better CREW.
ALEX has left and ABDU can snort COKE coke for Britain. SWILOW's FAM is a bad joke.
The prison population is capitalizing on this power vacuum.
SWILOW has lost the plot. The Probation Service are "promising" to "look into" a Home Visit if the GOOD CONDUCT continues.
WOT A MUG
BOO!
WELCOME TO THE GUTTER
WO1FG4NG
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers FILCHER!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 7
Hobbit = -7
TOTAL RESPECT = 0
WO1FG4NG Won no RESPECT from the other inmates, just hung out all week in the prison workshop smashing Grateful Dead CD's with a toffee hammer. The Probation Service are "promising" to "look into" a Home Visit if the GOOD CONDUCT continues.
WOT A MUG
BOO!
Last edited:
leet
Bluelighter
Top Dog Episode #7 - RESULTS
SPEEDKING
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers GOVERNORS POODLE!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 0
Hobbit = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -5
SPEEDKING is promised a chance for a HOME VISIT next week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
As part of the SKILLS FOR REHABILITATION programme SPEEDKING is hard at work for 12 hours a day 6 days a week in H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS PIG FARM mucking out the pigs for 4.23 a week.
SPEEDKING is determined to win early FREEDOM.
If it really happens SPEEDKING will be able to meet up with Fam, have a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, have a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for SPEEDKING.
Pathetic.
TURNCOAT DIVVY!
WOT A WANKER!
ZEPHYR
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers GOVERNORS POODLE
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 0
Hobbit = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -5
ZEPHYR was supposed to go on a HOME VISIT this week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
ZEPHYR won't be meeting up with Fam, nor having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, certainly not off with everyone to watch the football, deffo no trip to the local, zero laughs; just stuck in the cell having a quiet week in.
This is due to GOVERNMENT FINANCIAL CUTBACKS the Home Visit has been cancelled as there is insufficient supervision; ie the budget can't afford to pay for the expenses of the escorting officer - SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY so it's been cancelled until next week maybe and SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY gets to go home early this Friday ON HIS OWN.
Poor ZEPHYR.
As part of the SKILLS FOR REHABILITATION programme ZEPHYR is hard at work for 12 hours a day 6 days a week in H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS PIG FARM mucking out the pigs for 4.23 a week.
ZEPHYR is determined to win early FREEDOM.
FEELING LIKE A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC
MAYBE NEXT WEEK SONNY YOU CAN NIP HOME
MUG!
SPECIFIED
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CITIZEN
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 0
Hobbit = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -5
SPECIFIED is on a HOME VISIT this week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
SPECIFIED is meeting up with Fam, having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, having a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for SPECIFIED.
LIKE A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC
BACK IN THE NICK NEXT WEEK SONNY
LOSER!
ALASDAIRM
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CITIZEN
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = -5
CABBAGE PATCH KID = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -10
ALASDAIRM is on a HOME VISIT this week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
ALASDAIRM is meeting up with Fam, having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, having a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for ALASDAIRM.
LIKE A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC
BACK IN THE NICK NEXT WEEK SONNY
LOSER!
NEVERSICKANYMORE
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CITIZEN
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = -5
CABBAGE PATCH KID = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -10
NEVERSICKANYMORE iis on a HOME VISIT this week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
NEVERSICKANYMORE is meeting up with Fam, having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, having a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for NEVERSICKANYMORE.
LIKE A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC
BACK IN THE NICK NEXT WEEK SONNY
LOSER!
NOODLE
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CITIZEN
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = -5
CABBAGE PATCH KID = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -10
NOODLE is meeting up with Fam, having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, having a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for NOODLE.
LIKE A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC
BACK IN THE NICK NEXT WEEK SONNY
LOSER!
THE LOVE BANDIT
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CITIZEN
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = -5
CABBAGE PATCH KID = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -10
THE LOVE BANDIT is meeting up with Fam, having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, having a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for THE LOVE BANDIT.
LIKE A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC
BACK IN THE NICK NEXT WEEK SONNY
LOSER!
CAPTAIN HEROIN
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CITIZEN
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = -5
CABBAGE PATCH KID = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -10
CAPTAIN HEROIN is meeting up with Fam, having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, having a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for CAPTAIN HEROIN.
LIKE A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC
BACK IN THE NICK NEXT WEEK SONNY
LOSER!
WELCOME
TO
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
REHABILITATION CENTRE
MAKING PRISONS WORK
TO
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
REHABILITATION CENTRE
MAKING PRISONS WORK
SPEEDKING
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers GOVERNORS POODLE!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 0
Hobbit = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -5
SPEEDKING is promised a chance for a HOME VISIT next week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
As part of the SKILLS FOR REHABILITATION programme SPEEDKING is hard at work for 12 hours a day 6 days a week in H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS PIG FARM mucking out the pigs for 4.23 a week.
SPEEDKING is determined to win early FREEDOM.
If it really happens SPEEDKING will be able to meet up with Fam, have a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, have a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for SPEEDKING.
Pathetic.
TURNCOAT DIVVY!
WOT A WANKER!
ZEPHYR
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers GOVERNORS POODLE
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 0
Hobbit = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -5
ZEPHYR was supposed to go on a HOME VISIT this week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
ZEPHYR won't be meeting up with Fam, nor having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, certainly not off with everyone to watch the football, deffo no trip to the local, zero laughs; just stuck in the cell having a quiet week in.
This is due to GOVERNMENT FINANCIAL CUTBACKS the Home Visit has been cancelled as there is insufficient supervision; ie the budget can't afford to pay for the expenses of the escorting officer - SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY so it's been cancelled until next week maybe and SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY gets to go home early this Friday ON HIS OWN.
Poor ZEPHYR.
As part of the SKILLS FOR REHABILITATION programme ZEPHYR is hard at work for 12 hours a day 6 days a week in H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS PIG FARM mucking out the pigs for 4.23 a week.
ZEPHYR is determined to win early FREEDOM.
FEELING LIKE A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC
MAYBE NEXT WEEK SONNY YOU CAN NIP HOME
MUG!
ON THE OUT
SPECIFIED
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CITIZEN
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 0
Hobbit = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -5
SPECIFIED is on a HOME VISIT this week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
SPECIFIED is meeting up with Fam, having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, having a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for SPECIFIED.
LIKE A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC
BACK IN THE NICK NEXT WEEK SONNY
LOSER!
ALASDAIRM
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CITIZEN
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = -5
CABBAGE PATCH KID = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -10
ALASDAIRM is on a HOME VISIT this week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
ALASDAIRM is meeting up with Fam, having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, having a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for ALASDAIRM.
LIKE A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC
BACK IN THE NICK NEXT WEEK SONNY
LOSER!
NEVERSICKANYMORE
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CITIZEN
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = -5
CABBAGE PATCH KID = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -10
NEVERSICKANYMORE iis on a HOME VISIT this week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
NEVERSICKANYMORE is meeting up with Fam, having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, having a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for NEVERSICKANYMORE.
LIKE A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC
BACK IN THE NICK NEXT WEEK SONNY
LOSER!
NOODLE
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CITIZEN
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = -5
CABBAGE PATCH KID = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -10
NOODLE is meeting up with Fam, having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, having a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for NOODLE.
LIKE A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC
BACK IN THE NICK NEXT WEEK SONNY
LOSER!
THE LOVE BANDIT
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CITIZEN
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = -5
CABBAGE PATCH KID = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -10
THE LOVE BANDIT is meeting up with Fam, having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, having a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for THE LOVE BANDIT.
LIKE A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC
BACK IN THE NICK NEXT WEEK SONNY
LOSER!
CAPTAIN HEROIN
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CITIZEN
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = -5
CABBAGE PATCH KID = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -10
CAPTAIN HEROIN is meeting up with Fam, having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, having a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for CAPTAIN HEROIN.
LIKE A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC
BACK IN THE NICK NEXT WEEK SONNY
LOSER!
Last edited:
leet
Bluelighter
Top Dog Episode #7 - THE WALL OF SHAME + THIS WEEKS WINNER!
SHADY'S FOX
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers SNITCH!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = -10
JAIL TRUSTEE = -10
TOTAL RESPECT = -20
SHADY'S FOX is working as a SUPERVISOR in the HOBBIT SHOP this week.
In charge of 12 other prisoners all smashing 50 CENT cd's with toffee hammers. SHADY'S FOX is solely responsible for the safe return of the toffee hammers. SHADY'S FOX now has a PS1 in her cell with a golf game and Sonic 1 or did until THE TWINS taxed it. She can spend up to ?51 per week in the PRISON SHOP. Free access to all the shampoo, toothpaste and writing paper anyone could ever want!
Nobody will sell or even share any DRUGS with SHADY'S FOX or tell SHADY'S FOX when the PROSTITUTES are coming to the jail. RESPECT to the TOP DOG for that caper!
SHADY'S FOX has been promised an early release on licence, maybe next week with a tag.
Not everyone is pleased with this...
"HAVE YOU HEARD? I MIGHT BE ON THE OUT NEXT WEEK MATE!"
SHUT UP YOU TWAT!
MEL22
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers SNITCH!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = -10
JAIL TRUSTEE = -10
TOTAL RESPECT = -20
MEL22 is working as a SUPERVISOR in the HOBBIT SHOP this week.
In charge of 12 other highly skilled prisoners all smashing BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN cd's with toffee hammers. MEL22 is solely responsible for the safe return of the toffee hammers. MEL22 now has a PS1 in her cell with a snooker game and California Games, or did until THE TWINS taxed it. She can spend up to ?49.23 per week in the PRISON SHOP. Free access to all the shampoo, toothpaste and writing paper anyone could ever want!
Nobody will sell or even share any DRUGS with MEL22 or tell MEL22 when the PROSTITUTES are coming to the jail. RESPECT to the TOP DOG for that caper!
MEL22 has been promised an early release on licence, maybe next week with a tag.
Not everyone is pleased with this...
"HAVE YOU HEARD? I MIGHT BE ON THE OUT NEXT WEEK MATE!"
SHUT UP YOU TWAT!
COMING SOON!
SELLING YOUR DATA TO COMMUNISTS
BACK INSIDE AGAIN
4
THE FINAL STRETCH
4
THE FINAL STRETCH
SHADY'S FOX
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers SNITCH!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = -10
JAIL TRUSTEE = -10
TOTAL RESPECT = -20
SHADY'S FOX is working as a SUPERVISOR in the HOBBIT SHOP this week.
In charge of 12 other prisoners all smashing 50 CENT cd's with toffee hammers. SHADY'S FOX is solely responsible for the safe return of the toffee hammers. SHADY'S FOX now has a PS1 in her cell with a golf game and Sonic 1 or did until THE TWINS taxed it. She can spend up to ?51 per week in the PRISON SHOP. Free access to all the shampoo, toothpaste and writing paper anyone could ever want!
Nobody will sell or even share any DRUGS with SHADY'S FOX or tell SHADY'S FOX when the PROSTITUTES are coming to the jail. RESPECT to the TOP DOG for that caper!
SHADY'S FOX has been promised an early release on licence, maybe next week with a tag.
Not everyone is pleased with this...
"HAVE YOU HEARD? I MIGHT BE ON THE OUT NEXT WEEK MATE!"
SHUT UP YOU TWAT!
MEL22
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers SNITCH!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = -10
JAIL TRUSTEE = -10
TOTAL RESPECT = -20
MEL22 is working as a SUPERVISOR in the HOBBIT SHOP this week.
In charge of 12 other highly skilled prisoners all smashing BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN cd's with toffee hammers. MEL22 is solely responsible for the safe return of the toffee hammers. MEL22 now has a PS1 in her cell with a snooker game and California Games, or did until THE TWINS taxed it. She can spend up to ?49.23 per week in the PRISON SHOP. Free access to all the shampoo, toothpaste and writing paper anyone could ever want!
Nobody will sell or even share any DRUGS with MEL22 or tell MEL22 when the PROSTITUTES are coming to the jail. RESPECT to the TOP DOG for that caper!
MEL22 has been promised an early release on licence, maybe next week with a tag.
Not everyone is pleased with this...
"HAVE YOU HEARD? I MIGHT BE ON THE OUT NEXT WEEK MATE!"
SHUT UP YOU TWAT!
MAL3VOLENT
IS
TOP DOG
RESPECT!
IT'S ALL TO PLAY FOR!
WATCH OUT FAM FOR EPISODE #8
"Who let the dog out!"
THE FINAL MISSION
NOBODY CAN GIVE YOU FREEDOM
IF YOU ARE A MAN
YOU JUST TAKE IT
IS
TOP DOG
RESPECT!
IT'S ALL TO PLAY FOR!
WATCH OUT FAM FOR EPISODE #8
"Who let the dog out!"
THE FINAL MISSION
NOBODY CAN GIVE YOU FREEDOM
IF YOU ARE A MAN
YOU JUST TAKE IT
COMING SOON!
SELLING YOUR DATA TO COMMUNISTS
Last edited:
leet
Bluelighter
Ep#8 Top Dog the trailer
leet
Bluelighter
Episode #8 Top Dog - Who let the dog out?
This is a:
Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Open To All Forum Members
Episode difficulty level: HARD AS FUCKING NAILS
Ready?
Well let's play:
(i)You blagged your way onto the Vulnerable Prisoners Unit and SHANKED one of those ANIMALS right the fuck up.
(ii)You framed a MUPPET for the stabbing although EVERYONE knows you did it.
(iii)You recruited some SOUND LADS to enforce your will and sell your GEAR.
(iv)You COERCED a SCREW into bringing your contraband into prison.
(v)You BANGED your choice of the Category A TRAMP FRAULEINS.
(vi)You ordered a PRISON OFFICER taken HOSTAGE to ease the HEAT off you and your crew.
(vii)You (hopefully) spotted the PORK IN THE PACK preventing the authorities planting a GRASS and a piece of FILTH in YOUR PRISON
You really are THE MAN and can do whatever the FUCK you want, whenever you want!
NOBODY CAN GIVE YOU FREEDOM
IF YOU ARE A MAN
YOU JUST TAKE IT
Prison was a laugh for a while, you actually even enjoyed yourself
But it's over now.
Time to BOUNCE...
Nobody has ever escaped from H.M.P. Bluelight Towers before.
But then YOU have never been incarcerated here before.
You've put the word around that you WANT OUT and anyone with a credible escape plan is to come and see you. If it's any good you will be going along with them and give them whatever they ask for. Like the DRAGONS DEN of prison escape plans.
Pick out the best escape plan from the dross
Nominate one of the following goons as your escape partner from H.M.P. Bluelight Towers. Your escape will take place this Friday. Be the most successful escapee and rack up multiple RESPECT points.
As is your due.
Ready?
DON'T GET CAUGHT!
and yes, you'll be the man, dog!
Stole XL knitting needles and filched off-cuts of rope from the HARDKNOCK GYM over a period of three years to make a ladder. Has a V.W. Combi Van prepared waiting outside. It has a secret compartment with room inside it for two. GEORGE has no driver.
You are to organise a driver to pick the van up then wait outside the walls till you come over, drive you up north to catch the ferry to the Hook of Holland. GEORGE will cover costs up to arrival at AMSTERDAM you will then repay him 50% of costs in CASH and you both say a fond goodbye.
His wife and his sister will wear WIGS and extra items of clothing and bring make up for you in their handbags. You both go to the toilet and dress up as ladies using the wigs, clothing and make up. You then walk out of the prison ALL SISTERS TOGETHER at end of visiting time.
Yeah it's true, the Prison Officers are always too busy LEERING at the TITS and ARSE parading past them to count visitors in and out.
You are to give him some money and perhaps a token of welcome to him for joining your family. He will name his first born son after you. His sister will want you to fuck her brains out while you're in drag.
In jail for over 40 years for a gangland hit. Refused to name the man who paid for the hit so never released from jail.
OLD SCHOOL
Found a little crawlspace in the HARDKNOCK GYM with access onto the roof. Has collected off-cuts of netting from the HARDKNOCK GYM skip and made a ladder, enough to get you off the roof and out into the street.
You are to organise the getaway vehicle and driver. JOHN will be loyal to you till DEATH
Has previously escape from custody by leaping over 12 feet from the dock and in the confusion escaping from the court buildings to freedom. Has newspaper cuttings about it in a scrapbook. Will teach you the necessary PARKOUR manoeuvre so you can leap from the dock without injury.
Once you've learnt that move you both assault SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY and when you're charged and UP BEFORE THE BEAK, you both leap out of the dock, sail over the heads of the pigs to freedom!
Of course YOU are the one who actually physically assaults SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY and of course the TOP DOG being involved in his latest escape really adds massive RESPECT to the legend of JUMPING JIMMY FLASH
He has rope. His window opens onto a roof that runs up to the street. There is a C.C.T.V. pole there you can tie the rope onto and climb down into the street and have it away. He has made papier mache heads in ART WORKSHOP to put in the beds and proposes barricading the cell doors. This is actually a smart idea. If it works this could mean up to TWELVE hours before your escape is detected!
You provide the DREMMELL to cut the bars, split costs on getaway vehicle.
Has dug a hole in the wall in his cell concealed behind his bed. Has thrown the rubble out of the window and put the larger pieces in his wardrobe. Has made rope from his sheets. Less than ten minutes work to get though the wall and away to freedom!
You are to provide some cash when you both get on the outside and DANNY would love to continue working for you if you'd like that.
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers is a Victorian jail and the bricks in DAZ's cell have been so damp over the years they have nearly rotted away. His cell is actually on an outside wall, you could both be out in the street after two hours work TOPS!
You are to organise transport away from the prison and give him enough money to make sure you are both miles away from each other should it all go TITS UP for either of you.
It's all BIOMETRIC in prison these days not keys or codes. Kidnap that fucker MACKAY knock him right the fuck out then cut his bastard finger off! You can use it to open all the doors before anyone knows W.T.F. is going on and have it away on your toes!
You are to provide the vehicle and you can take it in turns with JO to perform atrocities on people you meet along the way
MEGA LOLZ!
SO...
WHO YOU GOING TO RUN WITH?
This is THE FINAL EPISODE of this exciting prison simulation!
Welcome to H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS!
This is a:
Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Open To All Forum Members
Episode difficulty level: HARD AS FUCKING NAILS
Ready?
Well let's play:
TOP DOG
Episode #8 - Who let the dog out!
Episode #8 - Who let the dog out!
(i)You blagged your way onto the Vulnerable Prisoners Unit and SHANKED one of those ANIMALS right the fuck up.
(ii)You framed a MUPPET for the stabbing although EVERYONE knows you did it.
(iii)You recruited some SOUND LADS to enforce your will and sell your GEAR.
(iv)You COERCED a SCREW into bringing your contraband into prison.
(v)You BANGED your choice of the Category A TRAMP FRAULEINS.
(vi)You ordered a PRISON OFFICER taken HOSTAGE to ease the HEAT off you and your crew.
(vii)You (hopefully) spotted the PORK IN THE PACK preventing the authorities planting a GRASS and a piece of FILTH in YOUR PRISON
You really are THE MAN and can do whatever the FUCK you want, whenever you want!
THE FINAL MISSION
NOBODY CAN GIVE YOU FREEDOM
IF YOU ARE A MAN
YOU JUST TAKE IT
Prison was a laugh for a while, you actually even enjoyed yourself
But it's over now.
Time to BOUNCE...
ONE MAN
FOUR WALLS
EIGHT PLANS
WHICH WILL YOU CHOOSE?
FOUR WALLS
EIGHT PLANS
WHICH WILL YOU CHOOSE?
Nobody has ever escaped from H.M.P. Bluelight Towers before.
But then YOU have never been incarcerated here before.
You've put the word around that you WANT OUT and anyone with a credible escape plan is to come and see you. If it's any good you will be going along with them and give them whatever they ask for. Like the DRAGONS DEN of prison escape plans.
Pick out the best escape plan from the dross
Nominate one of the following goons as your escape partner from H.M.P. Bluelight Towers. Your escape will take place this Friday. Be the most successful escapee and rack up multiple RESPECT points.
As is your due.
Ready?
DON'T GET CAUGHT!
and yes, you'll be the man, dog!
GEORGE
"PLEASE CONSIDER MY OFFER"
"PLEASE CONSIDER MY OFFER"
Stole XL knitting needles and filched off-cuts of rope from the HARDKNOCK GYM over a period of three years to make a ladder. Has a V.W. Combi Van prepared waiting outside. It has a secret compartment with room inside it for two. GEORGE has no driver.
You are to organise a driver to pick the van up then wait outside the walls till you come over, drive you up north to catch the ferry to the Hook of Holland. GEORGE will cover costs up to arrival at AMSTERDAM you will then repay him 50% of costs in CASH and you both say a fond goodbye.
RON
"I BEG YOU BIG DOG"
"I BEG YOU BIG DOG"
His wife and his sister will wear WIGS and extra items of clothing and bring make up for you in their handbags. You both go to the toilet and dress up as ladies using the wigs, clothing and make up. You then walk out of the prison ALL SISTERS TOGETHER at end of visiting time.
Yeah it's true, the Prison Officers are always too busy LEERING at the TITS and ARSE parading past them to count visitors in and out.
You are to give him some money and perhaps a token of welcome to him for joining your family. He will name his first born son after you. His sister will want you to fuck her brains out while you're in drag.
JOHN
"THANK YOU FOR LISTENING.
ONLY YOU CAN MAKE THIS WORK
I NEED TO VISIT MY FAMILY"
"THANK YOU FOR LISTENING.
ONLY YOU CAN MAKE THIS WORK
I NEED TO VISIT MY FAMILY"
In jail for over 40 years for a gangland hit. Refused to name the man who paid for the hit so never released from jail.
OLD SCHOOL
Found a little crawlspace in the HARDKNOCK GYM with access onto the roof. Has collected off-cuts of netting from the HARDKNOCK GYM skip and made a ladder, enough to get you off the roof and out into the street.
You are to organise the getaway vehicle and driver. JOHN will be loyal to you till DEATH
JUMPING JIMMY FLASH
"IT'LL BE SO FUCKING COOL BIG DOG
WE BE LIKE SPIDERMEN!"
"IT'LL BE SO FUCKING COOL BIG DOG
WE BE LIKE SPIDERMEN!"
Has previously escape from custody by leaping over 12 feet from the dock and in the confusion escaping from the court buildings to freedom. Has newspaper cuttings about it in a scrapbook. Will teach you the necessary PARKOUR manoeuvre so you can leap from the dock without injury.
Once you've learnt that move you both assault SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY and when you're charged and UP BEFORE THE BEAK, you both leap out of the dock, sail over the heads of the pigs to freedom!
Of course YOU are the one who actually physically assaults SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY and of course the TOP DOG being involved in his latest escape really adds massive RESPECT to the legend of JUMPING JIMMY FLASH
JAMES
"WE CAN SHOW THE FUCKERS BIG DOG
WE REALLY FUCKING CAN!"
"WE CAN SHOW THE FUCKERS BIG DOG
WE REALLY FUCKING CAN!"
He has rope. His window opens onto a roof that runs up to the street. There is a C.C.T.V. pole there you can tie the rope onto and climb down into the street and have it away. He has made papier mache heads in ART WORKSHOP to put in the beds and proposes barricading the cell doors. This is actually a smart idea. If it works this could mean up to TWELVE hours before your escape is detected!
You provide the DREMMELL to cut the bars, split costs on getaway vehicle.
DANNY
"I'SE A CANNY LAD ALREET AS ME AULD GADGIE USED TE SYAH"
"I'SE A CANNY LAD ALREET AS ME AULD GADGIE USED TE SYAH"
Has dug a hole in the wall in his cell concealed behind his bed. Has thrown the rubble out of the window and put the larger pieces in his wardrobe. Has made rope from his sheets. Less than ten minutes work to get though the wall and away to freedom!
You are to provide some cash when you both get on the outside and DANNY would love to continue working for you if you'd like that.
DAZ
"WE CAN BOTH BE OUT BEFORE MIDNIGHT
SAY THE WORD BIG DOG
I'M YOUR MAN
REALLY"
"WE CAN BOTH BE OUT BEFORE MIDNIGHT
SAY THE WORD BIG DOG
I'M YOUR MAN
REALLY"
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers is a Victorian jail and the bricks in DAZ's cell have been so damp over the years they have nearly rotted away. His cell is actually on an outside wall, you could both be out in the street after two hours work TOPS!
You are to organise transport away from the prison and give him enough money to make sure you are both miles away from each other should it all go TITS UP for either of you.
JO
"MURDER'S NOTHING BABE!
IT'S LIKE COOKING A SUNDAY ROAST DINNER!"
"MURDER'S NOTHING BABE!
IT'S LIKE COOKING A SUNDAY ROAST DINNER!"
It's all BIOMETRIC in prison these days not keys or codes. Kidnap that fucker MACKAY knock him right the fuck out then cut his bastard finger off! You can use it to open all the doors before anyone knows W.T.F. is going on and have it away on your toes!
You are to provide the vehicle and you can take it in turns with JO to perform atrocities on people you meet along the way
MEGA LOLZ!
SO...
WHO YOU GOING TO RUN WITH?
This is THE FINAL EPISODE of this exciting prison simulation!
CHECK IN HERE REGULARLY FAM TO SEE WHO ACTUALLY IS THE RESPECTED
TOP DOG
EPISODE #8
AND WHO IS THE DISRESPECTED PRISON MUTT!
TAKE HOW MUCH?
YOU?
FUCKING HELL M8
HAVE A BIG FUCKING DAB
GO ON
GET STUCK RIGHT THE FUCK IN!
TOP DOG
EPISODE #8
AND WHO IS THE DISRESPECTED PRISON MUTT!
TAKE HOW MUCH?
YOU?
FUCKING HELL M8
HAVE A BIG FUCKING DAB
GO ON
GET STUCK RIGHT THE FUCK IN!
Last edited:
Tubbs
Bluelight Crew
Definitely gotta go with jo. Maybe start a riot along the way.... provide a distraction, slip away in the chaos.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
I'm going to partner with DAZ.
Transportation already figured out, and at least one of us will get away before it goes TITS UP!
I secretly blow a whole in DAZ'S back wheel so he is caught and creates a DIVERSION!
MR.00 walks away UNTOUCHED!
Transportation already figured out, and at least one of us will get away before it goes TITS UP!
I secretly blow a whole in DAZ'S back wheel so he is caught and creates a DIVERSION!
MR.00 walks away UNTOUCHED!
Speed King
Bluelighter
Why do extra work? I am choosing Ron. Pretend it is Halloween to get into costume. Ron and I dress up making sure to be very detailed proper. Pour it on relatively thick in the visitation room and make sure we/I mix in well with the other ladys visiting me. Possibly throw in a distraction to keep the guards busy and walk out of prison without breaking a sweat.
Easy.
Easy.
mal3volent
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2011
- Messages
- 39,982
100% JOHN.
He has been loyal all these years. That means he will be loyal to me. The plan is very realistic and low risk. He's an experienced dude who won't make mistakes and get shit right the first time.
Most important thing is his motivation. He wants to see his family. He's gonna do whatever it takes to get us to the other side and free from H.M.P. Bluelight Towers!
He has been loyal all these years. That means he will be loyal to me. The plan is very realistic and low risk. He's an experienced dude who won't make mistakes and get shit right the first time.
Most important thing is his motivation. He wants to see his family. He's gonna do whatever it takes to get us to the other side and free from H.M.P. Bluelight Towers!
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
I'm going with John. Solid plans abound in this group. What makes me choose John is (a) simplicity of the plan, and (b) his clear loyalty. A man who would do 40 years for refusing to name someone is good to have on your side. And of course I need to build a team on the outside. With all my contacts, organizing a getaway driver is easy. With Kiah's tits and ass in such great shape, an effective diversion in the gym to cover our entry into the crawlspace is in the bag. Let's get the FUCK outta this place. It's been real H.M.P Bluelight Towers... Shadowmeister OUT.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
The thing about john, is he requires you to orchestrate the get away. Not to say MR.VOL3NT and MR.MEISTER aren't capable, but you'd think a guy such as john would have already figured it out. If he hasn't, which is the case, you can bet on the exit plan being a doozy.
John's a great guy, don't get me wrong, he just has not thought through the most crucial element.
John's a great guy, don't get me wrong, he just has not thought through the most crucial element.
BehindtheShadow
Bluelight Crew
Jimmy gotta be Jimmy
Tubbs
Bluelight Crew
John is desperate to see his family..... they want a big fish.... John is a setup.
mal3volent
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2011
- Messages
- 39,982
fuck...you're right...
its a setup...his FAMILY is his GANG. He wants to see his FAMILY.
probably plans to push me off the roof or some shit.
--------
JAMES is my guy.
leet
Bluelighter
Prison University Lecture #3 - PEDO HUNTER
FROM THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR
Deleted episodes of:
Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Difficulty level:2
WARNING: Contains strong action violence Rated "R"
For Even More RESPECT
Let's play:
The deleted episodes of
LECTURE TITLE:
WIN yet more RESPECT by being the BEST at:
TOP DOG DELETED EPISODE:
Good morning gentlemen and thank you for attending. Today's lecture is about spotting the BEASTS that lurk in every neighbourhood, on every street, and outside our children's schools.
When hunting pedohiles correct use of the tenets of Criminal Anthropology will inform you 100% accurate every time if you are facing BEAST. By the end of this course you will be fully conversant with these physical indicators.
For today we will discuss five PEDO indicators, although there are many more. We be looking at pedophile physical characteristics such as the small head, but a large face; fleshy lips, but a thin upper lip; the protuberances to be found on the pedophiles head, particularly above the left ear; the large eye sockets, but deep-set eyes and the real give away the large, protruding jug ears.
See below for the evidence of a man who craves little boy arse: he exhibits the paedophile-smile or "pedosmile." It's part smirk, part grin, and all kiddie fiddler. Promising a two-for-one sale on rape, no refunds or exchanges.
YEAH, A PEDO NONCE
Todays lecture includes ten minutes playing on a beta video game that the PRISON UNIVERSITY is developing. Obviously, it's a bit shit.
The concept behind the game is it uses the wrongly accused, selective condemnation and death run trope, the player is wrongly framed for a crime they did not commit, duly convicted and sentenced to jail for decades, this is the work of a powerful yet hidden padophile ring. The player has sworn to revenge themselves, clear their name, win their liberty back and destroy the pedophile ring.
You are going to play a part of LEVEL 6 as the content has some bearing on todays lecture.
You are cleaning a corridor in the prison that (for reasons not explained) all new residents and all visitors to the jail have to use on entry and they walk down it unaccompanied and unobserved.
There is to be a meeting with the HOME SECRETARY later that day to discuss your case and everyone coming through this corridor is either part of the paedophile ring whose appearance at your meeting will jeopardize and damage your campaign or they are innocent visitors and friendly witnesses whose statements and evidence will lend weight and credence to overturning your conviction, ensure your freedom and result in the dismantling of the pedophile ring.
Using only your Criminal Anthropology skill set you must shank the pedo?s and allow the innocent visitors to pass by. In true early video game style this shaky plotline allows you time to clear up any mess before the next person enters the corridor. Will you shank the BEASTS to achieve ULTIMATE JUSTICE or will you remove all prospect of HOPE from yours and countless others future by SLAUGHTERING INNOCENTS?
Lets play:
WILL YOU SHANK:
Good Luck!
Maximize your
RESPECT
And yes, you'll be the intellectual dog
PRISON UNIVERSITY
YOU'RE NEVER TOO COOL
FOR THIS SCHOOL
FROM THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR
Deleted episodes of:
Welcome to
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Difficulty level:2
WARNING: Contains strong action violence Rated "R"
For Even More RESPECT
Let's play:
The deleted episodes of
TOP DOG
PRISON UNIVERSITY
LECTURE#3
LOCATION:
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
LECTURE HALL
PRISON IS A PLACE TO LEARN
PRISON UNIVERSITY
LECTURE#3
LOCATION:
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
LECTURE HALL
PRISON IS A PLACE TO LEARN
LECTURE TITLE:
"HOW TO BE A PEDO-HUNTER"
WIN yet more RESPECT by being the BEST at:
TOP DOG DELETED EPISODE:
LECTURE#3
IN
CRIMINAL ANTHROPOLOGY
IN
CRIMINAL ANTHROPOLOGY
Good morning gentlemen and thank you for attending. Today's lecture is about spotting the BEASTS that lurk in every neighbourhood, on every street, and outside our children's schools.
When hunting pedohiles correct use of the tenets of Criminal Anthropology will inform you 100% accurate every time if you are facing BEAST. By the end of this course you will be fully conversant with these physical indicators.
For today we will discuss five PEDO indicators, although there are many more. We be looking at pedophile physical characteristics such as the small head, but a large face; fleshy lips, but a thin upper lip; the protuberances to be found on the pedophiles head, particularly above the left ear; the large eye sockets, but deep-set eyes and the real give away the large, protruding jug ears.
See below for the evidence of a man who craves little boy arse: he exhibits the paedophile-smile or "pedosmile." It's part smirk, part grin, and all kiddie fiddler. Promising a two-for-one sale on rape, no refunds or exchanges.
YEAH, A PEDO NONCE
Todays lecture includes ten minutes playing on a beta video game that the PRISON UNIVERSITY is developing. Obviously, it's a bit shit.
The concept behind the game is it uses the wrongly accused, selective condemnation and death run trope, the player is wrongly framed for a crime they did not commit, duly convicted and sentenced to jail for decades, this is the work of a powerful yet hidden padophile ring. The player has sworn to revenge themselves, clear their name, win their liberty back and destroy the pedophile ring.
You are going to play a part of LEVEL 6 as the content has some bearing on todays lecture.
You are cleaning a corridor in the prison that (for reasons not explained) all new residents and all visitors to the jail have to use on entry and they walk down it unaccompanied and unobserved.
There is to be a meeting with the HOME SECRETARY later that day to discuss your case and everyone coming through this corridor is either part of the paedophile ring whose appearance at your meeting will jeopardize and damage your campaign or they are innocent visitors and friendly witnesses whose statements and evidence will lend weight and credence to overturning your conviction, ensure your freedom and result in the dismantling of the pedophile ring.
Using only your Criminal Anthropology skill set you must shank the pedo?s and allow the innocent visitors to pass by. In true early video game style this shaky plotline allows you time to clear up any mess before the next person enters the corridor. Will you shank the BEASTS to achieve ULTIMATE JUSTICE or will you remove all prospect of HOPE from yours and countless others future by SLAUGHTERING INNOCENTS?
Lets play:
PEDO HUNTER THE VIDEO GAME
WILL YOU SHANK:
ANDREW
?
DARREN
?
DEV
?
KYLE
?
PAUL
?
AHMED
?
MICHAEL
?
KEIRON
?
DAVID
?
?
DARREN
?
DEV
?
KYLE
?
PAUL
?
AHMED
?
MICHAEL
?
KEIRON
?
DAVID
?
Good Luck!
Maximize your
RESPECT
And yes, you'll be the intellectual dog
PRISON UNIVERSITY
YOU'RE NEVER TOO COOL
FOR THIS SCHOOL
Last edited:
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
Alright, here we go...
First through is Andrew. Though his head is quite small, nothing else sets off my detectors. He seems to be in for drug crimes (being a musician), and is innocent of being a pedo. Not shanked
Next down the corridor is Darren. I give him a hard look. His small head and relatively large face, combined with his thin upper yet fleshy lower lip, and the look in his eye that says "give me your little girls" tells me he's a pedo, although his ears are hidden by his hair (nice try, Darren). SHANKED
Next up, Dev. Though his ears are certainly jug-like, the look in his eye is too at peace for him to be a pedo. He's in here for financial crimes, specifically tax evasion from unreported crypto gainz. Not shanked
Oh, Kyle... it's not looking good. His large face and protruding jug ears, and the look of nervousness in his eyes, suggest his pedo nature to me. I can almost pity him because daddy created a monster... if he hadn't gone on to create monsters of his own. SHANKED
Paul, Paul, Paul... your facial expression says it all. It cries out "I diddle boys! I diddle boys!". Well I diddle this shank. INTO YOUR NECK! SHANKED
At first glance, Ahmed seems to be dreaming of 72 virgins... virgin boys. Yet, it turns out that when he said he was giving that boy the blessing of Allah's kiss, he only meant it literally and benignly. Not shanked
Michael looks amazingly guilty, yet none of the warning signs of a pedo are present except the large face. In reality he's in for domestic abuse against his girlfriend. A piece of shit, for sure, but not a pedo. Not shanked
Keiron is in for white collar crimes. Insider trading. Not shanked
David's small head and sick aura give him away. He's dressed in his outfit he uses while waiting to abduct young girls in his van, or waiting for a meetup he arranged in an Internet chat room where he was pretending to be a 13 year old boy. SHANKED
First through is Andrew. Though his head is quite small, nothing else sets off my detectors. He seems to be in for drug crimes (being a musician), and is innocent of being a pedo. Not shanked
Next down the corridor is Darren. I give him a hard look. His small head and relatively large face, combined with his thin upper yet fleshy lower lip, and the look in his eye that says "give me your little girls" tells me he's a pedo, although his ears are hidden by his hair (nice try, Darren). SHANKED
Next up, Dev. Though his ears are certainly jug-like, the look in his eye is too at peace for him to be a pedo. He's in here for financial crimes, specifically tax evasion from unreported crypto gainz. Not shanked
Oh, Kyle... it's not looking good. His large face and protruding jug ears, and the look of nervousness in his eyes, suggest his pedo nature to me. I can almost pity him because daddy created a monster... if he hadn't gone on to create monsters of his own. SHANKED
Paul, Paul, Paul... your facial expression says it all. It cries out "I diddle boys! I diddle boys!". Well I diddle this shank. INTO YOUR NECK! SHANKED
At first glance, Ahmed seems to be dreaming of 72 virgins... virgin boys. Yet, it turns out that when he said he was giving that boy the blessing of Allah's kiss, he only meant it literally and benignly. Not shanked
Michael looks amazingly guilty, yet none of the warning signs of a pedo are present except the large face. In reality he's in for domestic abuse against his girlfriend. A piece of shit, for sure, but not a pedo. Not shanked
Keiron is in for white collar crimes. Insider trading. Not shanked
David's small head and sick aura give him away. He's dressed in his outfit he uses while waiting to abduct young girls in his van, or waiting for a meetup he arranged in an Internet chat room where he was pretending to be a 13 year old boy. SHANKED
Last edited:
Tubbs
Bluelight Crew
Andrew.... a pedo....just looks damn creepy. Shankaroo
Paul and Michael both look like pedos.... shank from hell.
And David gets a nice
Paul and Michael both look like pedos.... shank from hell.
And David gets a nice
leet
Bluelighter
Hahahahahaha!
Last edited: