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Greatest drug induced quotes....Trippin/rollin/stoned/doped/dusted LOL's go here!

"Why is the pizza sitting in the chair?", I then proceeded to take the pizza off the chair and sit amid the laughter.

also, "The synergy of the energy, man. The SYNERGY of the ENERGY!" said a friend throughout that particular trip.

EDIT: Oh yeah, this was a few years back, on a rather heavy dose of some absolutely splendid LSD.
 
Oh, just remembered a few good ones.

"The moon just pushed me down! WTF!"

Me, thinking under the influence of shrooms. I was sitting in the shadow of my garage in the backyard, and I stood up to look at the moon and immediately sat (more like, fell into my seat) back down for no reason.

"Conspiracy shit, man." Something my friend on acid kept saying when I was telling him about some conspiracy theories.

"This song tastes like candy, man." Me on acid. Don't remember this amazing song that somehow tasted like candy.

(After being asked how I will be next year)

"I...what? I'm still like, gonna be me, it's not like I'll turn into a bear or something!"
 
i love this one... i called my boss, who'd been up for several days on meth:

me: what's up?
him: ....
me: whatcha' doing?
him: i'm making shovels...

a friend and i were smoking meth, i was playing madden, he was just sitting there. neither of us had said anything for at least 10-15 minutes, when i hear him say 'so that's what they eat...' i'm thinking 'wtf?' but i didn't say anything. about a minute later he says 'mangos...'

geetered said:
"there's more here I just got to find it"--- friend carpet picking for crack-cocaine
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i call it 'carpet mining'... i think it's from a jerry stahl book...
 
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"he's out buying drugs"

that's what I told my friends father when he found me alone in his son's room tripping out on ambien. I was wearing some strange coat which I had ripped the sleeves half off of.
 
^that's awful, but hilarious. i bet your friend was pissed, and his dad was confused.

"uh-oh! HOT DOG!" - one of the best friends anyone could ever ask for said this almost every time we rolled. he was half vietnamese/half white and one of the funniest, most talented people i've known. RIP Matt, you intricate goofy half-Asian fuck (and yes, i know, it's a Bobby Lee quote from MadTV)

*spins around in floor covered with blanket. all the sudden, a head pops out from under said blanket* "hey, uh, guys, i think i pissed myself. everything is all wet." - ^ Matt, again. fun night of LSD

"i don't need a jacket! beans will keep me warm!" - me, rolling balls in the dead of winter in northern Alabama.

"like, oh mah gawd, are you like seeing pretty colors and patterns and stuff?" - dumb girl. "please stop talking." - me. "no, like really, what kind of stuff are you seeing?" - dumb girl. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - me. --this was dialogue from an LSD trip at my old house when i had a bunch of people over that didn't quite understand tripping. it took every bit of energy i had within me to scream "shut the fuck up!"

"i think i touched my uh-oh-gadget-stick." - me after a long night of LSD with friends

"do you have any weapons in the car, son?" - cop. "I GOT A KNIFE!" - my friend, smiling and innocently letting the cop know he's got a knife. -- dialogue of friend and cop during friend's second time rolling after we got pulled over. it's a damn shame he got arrested.

"no! they're pretty and they're not hurting anyone!" - me, after being asked to put down the glowsticks by a police officer.
 
Not by me but by my friend (J) a few years back:
Police: Are you ok?
J (laying on the sidewalk in the afternoon drunk): My back hurts real quick.
Police: You look too young for your back to hurt..
J: I just came back from football practice.
Police ended up looking like this -____-"+o.O and told him to go home.

"Nice! We can threeway!" in a high pitched, over-excited voice. my friend said that among five guys when one of the guys pulled out a third pipe. it was too late for him to say 'no homo.'

Edit: another one I remembered when my roommates and i were coming down from acid.
me and roommate 1 and his gf were talking about sex tapes.
roommate 2: What do you guys feel about that? My family has one that gets passed down to each other. I don't like the tradition.
Us three reacted with silence and a big awkward turtle in the room.
Roommate 2 didn't hear us talking about sex tapes, but was talking about some family heirloom that was being shown on TV at the time.
 
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oh yeah, I remember another funny one my friend said.

"na, if we do x together were gonna end up having sex."
this was then followed by a very fateful choice of deciding to try heroin for the first time instead.
 
"I'm getting my 1 free hour!"

While tripping on 2cb the night daylight saving finished.
My friend then went out and painted it on the road with an eagle feather and came back dripping in white paint. But to us the paint was glowing flourescent green. He thought it was hilarious.
 
"How did i get my pants on backwards???"
A mate on his first LSD trip, with his pants on the right way, and they'd been that way for the last 10 hours haha
 
While rolling hard on 3 pills when I was still on my ecstasy honeymoon I found these big boots this chick had at her hosue and I put them on and walked around yelling "big boots big BOOTS BIG BOOTS" louder and fucking louder.

Another similar experience on shrooms peaking I wrapped a blanket around me jumped on a bed and yelled "im a bat motherfuckers! im a bat im a BAT!" flailing my arms around and shit.

While hippy flipping I sat in this real nice chair my friend had that a psychiatrist would have or something. I leaned back and we had heard R kelly, and Usher and other similar shit on the radio just after avoiding getting searched and arrested going 107 mph (another long story, but I was the one that talked us out of it!) I was feeling the rNb vibe and said "I feel like half psychiatrist half R. Kelly, I got soul and wisdom"

and finally, apparently I killed funky town this past weekend while candyflipping. 2 on my new fellow bl'er friends would have to explain exactly how or why I did such a thing. you guys care to share? lol
 
Some kid was buying phenobarbitol and his first question about the shit was "how man can i take before i pass out?"8) a few days later he came back and asked id he could use Dilantin recreationally.
 
Once I was triping with some friends on 2c-e in his bedroom. I had to go to the the bathroom but was parinod his mom would see me and some hoew know I was triping. One friend said dont worry she wont be able to tell and I said something along the lines of
"but she will see that I'm green and purple" and everyone just laughed.
 
Me and my friends rolled face in the city and as we were waiting for the train my friend goes "Dude, the plague was epic", talking about the bubonic plague.
 
i ate an ass ton of DXM for my first time, i sat on the stoop of a pizza place for 3 hours with my nigga, we will call him S, and we werent talkin for like an hour, then i said" this is what i have been searching for in a drug my whole life" S "dude im right there with ya" me "its like the world is like a piece of bubblegum in my pocket" S "yea dude, do u feel that?" me"what?" that feeling that the air makes on your skin" "yea man" look at that......... bump on that pole(it was a generator ) hahhaha so fucked up
 
Help?!?! said:
My friend and I are like 16 ast the time and he was tripping balls on some shrooms. We were at my house but I had just gotten high so we decided to walk to mcdonalds. Were sitting at a table and I roll up this 20 dollar bill for no real reason. Then i dropped it on the floor and when I bent over my friend litterally screams "YOU CANT SNORT COCAINE IN MCDONALDS!" everyone was suddenly looking at us and I started getting paranoid but eventually everyone looks away since I wasnt actually doing anything. So I decide im going to fuck with my friend. His hat was sitting on the table and I pulled it over to me and he was like"what are you doing with my hat?" and I was like "about to get fuckkkked up" and I bent over and pretended like I was snorting it. He just got this look of awe on his face and was like "wtf are you doing you cant snort hats?!?" and I was like "damn this is some good hat its really fucking me up" he just sat there with this hilrious look on his face like he was trying to figure out what was happening and then he suddenly yelled "No man this doesnt make any sense this fucking equation doesnt add up snorting hats doesnt fuck you up!" mannn that was a fun night.
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dude i laughed my ass off on that one
 
Esotericism said:
I came back from the city to a mates place to kick on where he had consumed large amounts of MDA and smoked heaps of cones. As soon as I opened the door I heard him yell to someone else in the room "You guys seemed to have avoided the flying rhombus, but it flew straight at me!"
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hahahaaahah flying fuckin rhombus
 
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