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Great quotes while out - part IV - "Was that out loud??"

I was driving with a bunch of friends to Arthurs Seat, very mashed and at night, being told how cool the view is... as we got closer i couldn't work out what the large space was... too big to be farmland... so i finally asked, 'what's the big square?' .... Needless to say it was Port Phillip Bay.
 
so my friend comes over on friday night for a catch up and a few drinks. by 12 we had consumed all of our alcohol and of course decided that we needed some more, BUT what to do. neither of us could drive and all of the shops that sell alcohol near my house were closed. so she makes a few calls and invites some people over on the proviso that when they came over they would bring us more alcohol.

so it's been a little while and they should be getting to mine at any second

her: can we turn that light off?
me: why?
her: i look better in the dark.

she's such a stupido but i couldn't help but laugh at that comment for a good couple of minutes.
 
"Hey shnouzer... you know popcorn?"

"yeesss........"

"Don't you reckon a popcorn is like the complete opposite of a marshmellow?"





I think of it more like its twisted and evil twin.
 
ahhh all gold people!
thought i was calling a mate mashed at about 2am after BDO this year
not my mate: hello?
me: hi i'm looking for joel?
nmm: sorry he's not here...
me: oh, did he leave his phone at home?
nmm: no he's got it on him
*confused silence from me*
me: so who is this?
nmm: bill... (joel's 60 something dad)
me: so where's joel?
his dad: he's not here...
me: so he left his mobile at home?
his dad: (getting agitated at the dumb scatterbrain) no he didn't
*confused pause again, followed by a quick check of my mobile screen...*
me: oh shit this is his home phone? f**k, i mean sorry sir, i mean ah shit i'm just gonna go - peace!
much uproarious laughter followed with me feeling just a tad sheepish..

another morning we were in the park just chilling and pilling in the sunshine (a truly glorious pastime) when i decided to introduce myself to a newcomber to the circle...
me: hi i'm lou, what's ur name stranger?
thin air: *silence*....
my mates sitting nearby: BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!
me: *looking around* where the f**k did that dude with the dog go?

oh dear! hahah
-=DLouD247=D-
 
This was a few years ago, but I was reminded about it the other day from a mate who I hadn't seen in ages.

Me, on acid for the first time on a mountain. Tripping HARD! Everyone is sitting around eating Doritos and dip.

I grab the dip, stick the lid on and hurl it down the mountain.

Everyone else: "Why the fuck did you do that?!?"
Me: *shrug* "I wanted to see what dip sounded like rolling down a hill."


I dont know how I forgot that night.
 
I saw something in the news today that reminded me of this very old post.

From 1/06/2003 (Page 3 of this thread)

FoxyKel said:
Sitting on a foamy thing in the icelounge of Family in Brisbane talking to some friends, leaning against some random strangers back (who was on the opposite side of the foam seat thing), I completely zoned out of the conversation, then zoned back in to hear them mentioning Wendal Sailor.

Ignoring the fact that they were talking quietly, I scream out "Wendal Sailor is such a fuckin' knob, but damn, he does have one sexy body - I'd probably fuck him"

2 seconds later I get a tap on the shoulder, turn around and realise the person who's back I was leaning against was none other than Wendal Sailor's, he smiled as said "wanna fuck?"

My friends were literally crying they were laughing so hard.
Click to expand...

From Fox Sports today...

Sailor sacked over drugs
By Phil Rothfield
May 14, 2006

WALLABIES superstar Wendell Sailor has been stood down from playing rugby union indefinitely after returning a positive drug test.

The champion winger was sensationally sacked from the Waratahs team shortly before last night's match against the Hurricanes at Aussie Stadium.

The 31-year-old is facing a two-year ban which would virtually end his playing career and put at risk his $750,000-a-year contracts in rugby union.

In a statement released to The Sunday Telegraph, Sailor's manager, Greg Keenan, revealed the high-profile rugby league convert had learnt of the positive sample last week.

But he would give no indication whether it was a performance-enhancing or recreational drug.

"Wendell Sailor has been notified by the Australian Sports Anti-Doping Authority that part A of a sample he provided recently has returned positive to a banned substance," Mr Keenan said.

"The ARU has also been notified by the agency and the ARU and NSWRU have consequently stood Wendell down from playing duties.

"We have approached the Rugby Union Players' Association to request legal advice. At this stage, Wendell has no comment to make."

The Waratahs issued a brief statement last night confirming Sailor had been stood down for breaching the ARU's code of conduct, but made no reference to the positive drug test.

Sailor's sacking was the talk of Aussie Stadium last night as the Waratahs entered the game looking to secure a home semi-final.

Fans were notified only one hour before the kick-off that he would not be playing.

Sailor spent most of yesterday in crisis talks with Mr Keenan and did not attend last night's game.

Coach Ewen McKenzie informed team-mates Sailor was out of the side as they arrived at the ground.

Sailor's indiscretion is the latest in a series of misdemeanours which have cast a pall over his glittering career. In February, Sailor was sent home from South Africa in shame after a drunken night out while on tour with the Waratahs.

It emerged Sailor had pushed a patron and vomited outside the bar. He was slapped with a one-match ban, fined an undisclosed amount - believed to be $5000 - and narrowly avoided having his Wallabies contract torn up.

Sailor's troubles began the previous July, when he was embroiled in a South African nightclub fiasco that saw Matt Henjak become the first Wallaby sent home in 39 years.

The Sunday Telegraph
Click to expand...

From Fox Sports

8o
 
last friday, while having a few cones

I guess this is one of those, you gotta be there moments but anyways

Chris - Fuck, im relaxed
Paul - Fuck, im relaxed
Me - Jumps out of chair AHHHH WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!!!
 
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^ Could a mod send me Razs deleted message - i wanna know what he said ;)

A friend having his 1st nang the other night.
Giggling and fucked out of his gourd: "tastes like funny"

(im such a bad person)
 
^^ lol...I remember having nangs once and telling people it sounds like Space Invaders in my head...

Nangs do taste like funny! :D
 
a mate of mine on acid one sunday afternoon spent basking in the sunshine on the roof of his apartment complex...
mate: whilst taking in the view ya know what? i think i can understand why that kid jumped off the roof and killed himself thinking he could fly when he was high on acid...

8(

-=DLouD247=D-
 
i got called a faggot by an emo fuck wearing eye shadow
i punched him in the face
 
preacha said:
i got called a faggot by an emo fuck wearing eye shadow
i punched him in the face
Click to expand...

You're a Peach,
capt'n.
But,
know,
if I run into ya,
whilst wearin' eye-shade's,
(rare)
punch me,
know I carry a long, sharp ice-pick in my right poc'.
(not rare)
I'd fake an epileptic fit,
then, spin an'
stab your abdomen.
It's fo' punks like you.

But I wouldn't call you a faggot.

T'ats a nasty term.

So it would never event...

:)
 
Peach-Porn...XXX

^
preacha posted a repeatin' GIF from 'American History X'
of that guy gettin teeth-curbed.
That's what it was.




Put some pants on, cap,t'n.
Then you can race at all the stomp you want.
 
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An' He Got What In Da Showers?

An',
O.K.,
I'll jus' slug you sraight up,
before you pay out my poss-e(m)...

Then we can be f'ire'end's an' hol' hands.
:)
 
Nah' Brah' FireSta' Tah

did ya
place booknotchez in ya dome
behindfossilisedthreads
regarding limp'z 2nd LP
i guy pierced from
memento'd it
str8 undercover in a
utterlysoberoctoberredrover
and ya just
187um'd it

schtick is
o.l.d
news like
afghani justify iraqi warfare
fo sho?
 
On the way back from Kryal Castle on Sunday, me and my pal Melbourne Kate were sitting in the back seat rabbiting on merrily away when I came over all nostalgic all of a sudden:

ME: Hey, do you remember M&M's?
KATE: What do you mean, do I remember them? They still make M&M's!
ME: Oh, I meant Big M's.
KATE: They still make them too!
ME (dejected): Oh. :(

Also, we thought it was hilarious to repeat over and over for basically the entire day, "I'm the sometimes likes to eat cookies cookie monster!" We even made it Kate's voicemail. Oy. 8(
 
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