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Going to Jail / Prison: The Essentials.

Damien

Damien

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Joined
Mar 27, 2007
Messages
15,948
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714, CA, USA
I have never been nor do I plan on going to jail or prison (who does though?). I was thinking about it today and I realized that I do not have the first clue about how to handle many things if I were to go to jail or prison. It seems that if you are arrested you kind of just disappear off of the face of the planet. So to the people with experience how did you deal with:
  • Your rent or mortgage i.e. letting a landlord know, foreclosing?
  • Any property that could not go with friends or relatives?
  • Letting your employer know?
  • There were more, but I can't think of them now. ;)

Does your lawyer help you with these things? If not, then when do you get the chance to contact people for help?

So anyone that has experience, if one were to go to jail or prison, short term or long term, what advice would you give as far as taking care of your affairs on the soon to be "outside"?

Also if you have wondered any of these things ask them here.
 
Why, to try and smuggle it in? I don't think it will work well without a gun. In the name of harm reduction I would also suggest you take some pepto bismol after eating your bullet.
 
I would also suggest you take some pepto bismol after eating your bullet.
Click to expand...

lol...

You're usually able to phone from jail. Depends on the policy of the jail, but anything from multiple times a day to just once.

You call someone you can trust to do all the work for you. You call someone and tell them to tell your landlord, your parents, your employer, etc, whoever needs to be told.

That's all you can do to be honest.
 
You can do just about anything over the phone these days. Banking, Pay bills, order pizza.. etc

I'd do everything that way if I was in prison but other than that, yes as others have said you'd have to have someone you trust to do things for you on the outside
 
the U.S is probably different but in the E.U my welfare was taken away when i went to prison but they paid my rent.

I've never really had much legitimate employment but i'd think once your going to jail its not really going to matter much about calling your employer unless its the type of guy that says "bummer man i'll see you in 6 months"...

I did 22 weeks and it was pretty horrendous, mostly just the confinement but it was nothing compared to what i have seen on TV from American prisons.

All prisons are filled with suspicious types, if you are not allready a "suspicious" character then i suggest you learn how to act like one real quick ;)

Im not a real tough guy but i can look like one and i can act like one...

All i can say is, if you are pare-taking in illegal activities and you could risk going to prison then please make sure you have some friends or family on the outside that can visit you. I would have gone nuts if my grandma didn't visit me once a week.
 
ClubbinGuido said:
I would eat a bullet before I go to prison long term.
Click to expand...

No kidding. That's why I don't understand why people would rather take life in prison than a death sentence. Fuck me, I don't want to rot in no cell the rest of my life. That ISN'T life, so may as well seal the deal now and save myself the trouble.
 
stealthtrucker said:
You can do just about anything over the phone these days. Banking, Pay bills, order pizza.. etc

I'd do everything that way if I was in prison but other than that, yes as others have said you'd have to have someone you trust to do things for you on the outside
Click to expand...

as a prisoner can you order a pizza to your cell?
 
Fuck me, I don't want to rot in no cell the rest of my life. That ISN'T life, so may as well seal the deal now and save myself the trouble.
Click to expand...

Everyone says this but I really doubt you, or anyone, would do it. If you don't commit suicide the first week, which many do, then you'll never do it. Jail only gets easier and easier.

Committing suicide in jail has to be the most miserable way to do. Strangulation, cutting yourself... really hard to pull off successfully, and then you just end up on suicide watch. The best way I think would be to try to overdose on a bunch of pills, and then hang yourself or tie something around your throat so it's harder to breath.

How depressing. Hey this thread title reminds me of "Pete Tong's Essential Selections". Ha, no one can go to jail without their handy dandy assortment of the latest House and Electronic Dance music!
 
I think that if I got caught and put out on bail or whatever it would be extremely hard to get me back into jail. I've never been big on authority and if it was a crime like with drugs or something I don't think I'd recognize their authority to arrest me.

In other words I'd leave the fucking country and never come back.
 
In this thread I have learned:
How to smuggle bullets into jail.
How to break out of jail.
That I should learn to use a phone.
And jail is optional.
:D
 
You're optionally imprisoning yourself. Only one problem with that though... Once you decide to not abide by the punishment you dont get to be a part of that society.

Ghey...
 
In before everyone else calls euphoricnod 'ghey'.


______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Last edited by TheodoreRoosevelt : 02/31/1908 at 03:42.
 
Dependent upon the circumstances in many cases you have time before you are sent to prison to tie up these issues. In other words, you know if you are going to go. There are not many cases for which you would not be allowed to make bail to get out to tidy up your affairs before you are sent off to prison.

However, if it were the case that you could not make the bail release you would have to rely solely on friends, spouse, or family to help with these arrangements. Obviously unless you are on some type of pension or have income coming from some source that does not require your presence you are not going to make financial obligations thus your finances go to well, shite. From my experience many of those who have to worry about such obligations are not the type of people being sentenced to prison time, many of the people I met on the inside were guys that had nothing before they went in, due to whatever circumstance that led them there in the first place.

Many times your employer may let you return to your previous job, dependent upon the nature of the offense and the length of time you will be away from the office, I find that many people are understanding and forgiving of offenses that do not harm others, i.e. offenses of a substance abuse problem. For those that harm others and especially those that harm children well, they have more to worry about than what you mentioned above.

To answer your question about your attorney, that also depends on how much money you have, and how well you know them. I saw many men who could not even get their attorney to come visit them to let them know what is going on with their case, and many never even showed up for the court dates until the very last minute, and it was obvious that little to no thought had gone into the case, unless of course you can pay the big money.

In the Texas prison system (TDCJ) you are allowed one 5 minute phone call which is monitored every 90 days and it has to be approved by the Warden or Asst. Warden and you must call someone on your visitation list, and you cannot talk about money or anything of an offensive nature i.e. sex. They recently passed a law that will allow for one pay phone (collect at outrageous rates) for every 25 inmates to be installed this year.

I hope that clears up some of your questions, and sorry for the long post.
 
In jersey you can call a lot. it depends on what county but there been times my phone line be like "This is a call from a correctional institution. This call may be monitored for information purposes. The cost of this call is $2.50 for the first minute and 50 cents for each additional minute. If you wish to accept this call, please press zero now. If you do not wish to accept this call,please hang up" like every day. texas sounds like it fucken blows. arizona would be worse tho.


yall are really not postin very helpful information.Well some of ya's.
 
TheodoreRoosevelt said:
Everyone says this but I really doubt you, or anyone, would do it. If you don't commit suicide the first week, which many do, then you'll never do it. Jail only gets easier and easier.

Committing suicide in jail has to be the most miserable way to do. Strangulation, cutting yourself... really hard to pull off successfully, and then you just end up on suicide watch. The best way I think would be to try to overdose on a bunch of pills, and then hang yourself or tie something around your throat so it's harder to breath.

How depressing. Hey this thread title reminds me of "Pete Tong's Essential Selections". Ha, no one can go to jail without their handy dandy assortment of the latest House and Electronic Dance music!
Click to expand...

Well first I'd try to make bail and fight the case and so forth, and skip the country if necessary as he says below.

euphoricnod said:
I think that if I got caught and put out on bail or whatever it would be extremely hard to get me back into jail. I've never been big on authority and if it was a crime like with drugs or something I don't think I'd recognize their authority to arrest me.

In other words I'd leave the fucking country and never come back.
Click to expand...
\

But yeah, I might, or might now kill myself rather than face life in prison. But I'd SURELY take the death penalty over life.

EDIT: oh and i wouldn't shoot myself. Well not with a bullet anyway.. heh, more like a bundle shot of smack and some xanax to make sure.
 
something to be careful of that just happened to my friend:

on some cell phones/plans you cant accept collect calls, so if you're calling your friend's cell phone to try and take care of your shit, he wont be able to accept.
 
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