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Going to Jail / Prison: The Essentials.

I hear they have lots of good hash in jail (from tpb at least). I wouldn't mind that.
 
lacey k said:
yall are really not postin very helpful information.Well some of ya's.
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When i done my few days in dade county I was able to call my brother at the hotel we were staying and asked if he would bail me out @ 500$. He said he would than apparently didn't as i patiently waited only to remain there. We were on spring break and he didn't have the cash to spare so he figured i should just wait it out instead of mess up his time too :|
 
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I spent 14 days in Military Prison once. (What can I say, I slugged some Warrant Officer on her snooty nose) Shit was SO NOT cash. of course, I dont think regular prison invovles doing drill, shaving while marking time, and polishing the brass hand rails to the point of seeing your eyes in them, but still, yeah, it was not cool.

Not worth killing your self over, by the second week, it was kind of lulzy in its own way.
 
waylost said:
When i done my few days in dade county I was able to call my brother at the hotel we were staying and asked if he would bail me out @ 500$. He said he would than apparently didn't as i patiently waited only to remain there. We were on spring break and he didn't have the cash to spare so he figured i should just wait it out instead of mess up his time too :|
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Hahah... how'd you feel about that?
 
I was a little apprehensive about it at first and was quite curious to see if randomly spamming racial slurs on youtube throughout the years would hold some irony for me in this situation.

But things picked up the next day when it was like everyone was colorblind in there. Skip to about 1 minute and you'll see how it really goes down inside a Miami slammer.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=MasbNiEiKkI&feature=bz302
 
lol it's some weird dance program in southeast asia. Apparently it's an experiment in rehabilitation. Watch the Thrilller dance, it's the absolute best, it's so funny. They even got a gay guy to dress up like the girl from the Michael Jackson video.

On second thought, a lot of people actually intentionally try to push for the death penalty in regards to sentencing.
 
the_highest_mormon said:
on some cell phones/plans you cant accept collect calls
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When I went to jail I found that out the hard way. Fucking sucks when everyone but your grandma only use cell phones :\
 
I'd say the best thing to do would be to make sure you have someone on the outside who gives a fuck about you.

Someone who will take care of your business, maybe put some money in your commissary account, someone who doesn't have a cell phone and will actually accept your calls. A visitor can be fucking awesome, same with getting letters in the mail.

The jail i was at gave inmates one free envelope + postage a week (if you didn't have any money in your account). Which doesn't sound like much, but when you hear your name called for mail it's beyond awesome.

But the most important IMO would be
1. visitors
2. people who actually write back
3. money for commissary

I didn't have any 'business' to attend to in jail, but i suppose if you did have business to take care of that'd be #1
 
Honestly, the best absolute advice I can offer, is if you must go due to some circumstance that led to your incarceration. Just do your own time, and dont let it do you. Yes, it is horrible, but at the same time it is bearable. Nevermind the immature comments made by those who have not been and have no clue as to how it works, Damien if you want to PM me for more detailed information please feel free to do so.

As with many things in life, you do what you have to do and simply that is just the case. Everything works out over the course of time and once you have paid your debt to the judicial system via the time served you can begin to rebuild your life over again. If anything, I really learned how to sit back and take an introspective look at myself and who I am. That my friend is highly valuable in my book.

Despite common myths it is a place that can help you get your mind together and make a new life for yourself when you get out. Absolutely Number One piece of advice...KEEP to yourself and be respectful of others personal space, and it all works out. I am by no means an intimidating person and come across as a kid the old convicts call a "youngster" and I had little to no problems with anyone. The better the behavior the less time you spend incarcerated.

Again, any specific questions as to my experience (I spent 28 months on a level six maximum security prison in Texas) and have a bit of knowledge on some things, so please feel free to ask, I find it therapeutic to share and potentially help others where possible.
 
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^ well unfortunately this does happen, but the people that have these types of issues are usually segregated from the population. Behavior like that will certainly not win any votes from the Board of Paroles. Personally unless someone has a serious mental issue, Grow Up and deal with the consequences, any adult male with somewhat normal mental faculties should never act out in such a way. Trust me, General Population is MUCH better than where they put you for acting like that.
 
Damien8787 said:
Why, to try and smuggle it in? I don't think it will work well without a gun. In the name of harm reduction I would also suggest you take some pepto bismol after eating your bullet.
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What I meant was I would shoot myself. I would splatter the back of my skull all over my bedroom carpet rather then be incarcerated for years in prison.
 
^ WTF? Why would you do that, I mean you eventually get out...Prison isnt the end of the world, you just have to be a man and accept that what you have done is going to cost you some negative consequences. If you cannot accept that, then dont break the law. Prison helps many people by saving their lives, if they were never to get caught, they might have died in active addiction in the case of drug abusers. I suppose the charges for which you were facing would obviously weigh a great deal upon the severity of such a decision, but I still think it a weak cop out, no offense intended.
 
"If you cannot accept that, then dont break the law."

Half the point of doing something with negative consequences is to never have to face them.


Hillbilly Dan said:
Then of course this could always happen

http://youtube.com/watch?v=HhSOpVWaFWE

BTW this video contains no real explicit content. It's just funny as hell!
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This poor fool thought he was about to do some noble heroic beowulf conflict and got owned. Stuff for him.
 
Ive been in and out of jails for the last 5 years of my life because of my H/C habit and out of those 5 years Id say I spent 1.5 years of it in and out of MORRIS,BERGEN, PASSAIC AND ESSEX county jails, not including time spent in small town and city jails were I got locked up on thar particular day.

Im talking strictly county jails, not prisions, thats a whole different animal. But In jersey it depends on the county your in. Morris and bergen are better of the 4 i listed mainly because those are more white populated and arent low income counties. Morris county has carpeting, new tv's, unlimited phone time, and really good medical services for drug addicts, Bergen is the same without the carpeting.
Im not going to get into detail about all 4 county jails but lets just say Passaic and essex county are no no's for white drug addict types. Lets just say you could be on your last dying second and the staff could care less about you and your problems.
In jersey you also get whats called sherriff days and good time credits which helps reduce your sentence alot. So if you were sentenced say 90 days for theft or something you usually end up doing only 60-65 days and even less if you have an inmate job, I used to work in the laundry building getting paid 1$ a day and I could eat as much as I wanted from the ODR(officers dining room) because we had a cool as fuck C/O-supervisor and had access to roam the whole jail unsupervised.
You have to be low status minimum security to get positions like these, you cant be in for murder or rape or big big drugs becayuse then your ass is locked down 23hrs/1hr rec/shower time a day.
As the best thing to do is too keep to your damn self, have your little clique of freinds and whatever and keep it that way. Mind your business and dont steal other people shit out there room or be a dick tuff guy acting and you should be fine. Also dont lie about your charges to be cool because remember JAIL IS BORING AND PEOPLE HAVE NOTHING TO DO BUT START DRAMA and some officers love that type of shit so they are in cahoots with the inmates to a certain extent and will tell other inmates what your in for then if you lied , 2 minutes later your being labled a snitch and a liar , just petty not worth it shit.

Also depending on the jail your in and if your white in a predominatly black/spanish jail DONOT order tons of commissary when you first get there because you will be a walking target.
I could write so much more so PM me if you want details or if your going in soon..
 
I've been in and out since I was 14, most recently for a bunch of firearm charges in a high security (10 counts, surved concurrently thank god, fucking gun registry)

Rent: You work in your jail/prision, meanial jobs for long periods of time, you cant get the money when your in there, so you just get it sent to your landlord to hold your place

Telling your employer is a no no, you'll get black listed, quit.

You can usually only call people who are non felons and on a pre approved contact list, max usually 5 people, choose wisely

Get strong, stick with your own kind, and make sure you got some muscle and tattoos......

Best advice I can offer is if you get fucked with, don't be a bitch, go beserk. When I was 14 and a newbie a big skigen (native) tried to beat me down hard, he was hella fat......long story short i stabbed him with a pencil and bit a chunk out of him (He had 100lbs on me) when you get the reputation for being nuts, people dont fuck with you, and they take a shine to you, because its good for them to be your friend, and vice versa.

ALSO

Swallow as much shit as you fucking can.

Like the guy above me said, dont fuck with another persons shit, be it cloathing, jewelery or even a pencil, when you get labeled a theif inside, no one trusts you.

Oh, and if your sick, dont go to the infirmary, 9/10 times your going to get ALOT sicker

Edit: My Police appointed homes, New brunswick youth correction center in miramichi, St John Regional Jail and Spring Hill Penn

All drugs exist in jail, needles do too, watch you dont get stabbed (Happened to me a couple times, Hep C cause of it)
 
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you know their is a difference between prison and jail. Jail is a lot like a high school reunion minus the balloons, while prison is a pain in the ass.
 
Yo, for real, some of the threads in here is jokin, and some is serious. Cut the shit peeps. Jail aint a fuckin joke or a game. If you cant treat the shit wit respect, then dont post, this aint the place to show how funny and/or ignorant you are about the shit.
 
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