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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Gibberings CXCIV: Come on, mods. Let's go wild with this.

Exercise done. Feel good. Funny how I've not had energy for months but I get motivated n suddenly have some. More tomorrow. Off to throw out any processed garbage.

I said that too hahaha and I ate so many tubs of ice cream by myself the week before I left. You'll never see those people again. Eat what you like, Evey. You've a lovely body

Not doing this to get a better body. I'm doing it because healthy eating n exercise are the one things that will get me away from my addictions n dependencies.

Evey
 
I remember when I was 15, I agreed to go around and help my new girlfriend babysit while her parents were out (Happy days, I thought; finally get her to let me in those knickers).

I asked everyone to lend me a jointsworth and I got one before I headed round. I was your typical long-haired, pouty, mumbling, pin-striped teenager. When I arrived, the father asked if I smoked dope. I looked at my girlfriend as if to ask, ''Do I?''. She told him I did and he took me out to the kitchen for a joint whilst I also rolled one. He felt sorry for the pathetic bit of brown I had and gave me a few grams to smoke that night :D

Saved the night because she wasn't giving up the goods. I was raging because I stopped seeing a slutty girl to go out with her just because she said her last boyfriend was 'too frigid'. Ahh..teenage priorities :)

They've not changed much, mind.
 
When I smoked weed once, it was just once, all it did was make me giggle but there again we were drinking cheap red wine at the time 2 for £5. Basically this bloke my ex n I knew was obsessed with growing weed n would send pics every day. He's stopped all drugs now cause he ended up fighting his ex for custody. She was Borderline Personality n every day he'd send me massive amounts of texts off the net as to why borderline people shouldn't have kids n why he should win custody. He was alright but slightly strange. I miss him.

Evey
 
No im anxious because im script which I collect on Mondays n my pharmacy told me if i dont get my script on the allocated day I miss a whole week's worth. Of course I'll go because it'll be nice for little one a weekend away but it makes me feel anxious all the same.

You can ask your keyworker or prescribing doctor to alter the date you pick your script up if there's a particular reason why you would be unable to pick up on your usual day. Find out exactly what days you will be away and tell your keyworker and they will organise your script around it that week. Just don't leave it to the last minute cos they need a bit or advance warning to change it for you.

What if my DSP is wrong n I can get off this through meditating n believing? Break free of this dependency once n for all.

Addiction is only partially physical - the physical part is the easy bit really and will take care of itself. The worst mistakes I ever made when trying to deal with my addictions have been rushing into crash tapers or trying to go CT. To me these are prime examples of addict thinking processes - all or nothing, big dramatic gestures, instant gratification and so forth.

I felt exactly as you do when I was first on a Subutex script. I felt fine and was sure I'd dealt with my addiction issues as I was no longer using my DoC - not even thinking about it for that matter. I just wanted to shake off everything that I associated with my addiction so I rushed through my supposed final taper as quickly as I possibly could and took the first place in a detox clinic that I could. In hindsight I was still thinking like an addict and as a result I ended up going through extended periods of semi-replapses off and on for the following decade or so.

That was me and you are not me, of course, but I have to say that some of the things you post in regards to wanting to get off your script as soon as possible remind me a lot of the things I used to think and say when I was at a similar stage of my planned bupe taper. I would personally advise anybody in such poistion to not get ahead of themselves cos it can come back and bite ya on the bum. I would suggest the sign of being truly ready to come off script is when it genuinely doesn't bother you one way or the other - when there is no trace of any lingering attachments to it whether they are positive or negative in nature.

Remember, it is medication for a specific medical need. Your script is not something that you need to "beat" - it is something that works with you in complimentary fashion and, ss with any medication, it works best if you complete the course. At least this has been my experience - unfortunately learned the long, slow and hard* way :!

* (fnarr, etc)
 
I suspect alcohol is maybe involved, from time to time. ;) And I'm no saint in that regard either...

Drunkposting is also my bête noire. Two nights running and am half braindead as a result so no more of that tiil the end of the week. I'd like to think it would be longer but it probably won't be. I should probably set something up that prevents me from posting anything when drunk. Or try to develop a little self-control... the latter does seem a tad unlikely admittedly :o
 
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