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Father of a heroin girl - in jail for possession

Thank you everyone for posting. The day she got out of jail she relapsed. she called someone to come and bring her a bag. It took me a few days to catch her. I kicked her out. she is on supervised release and has to call her PO every monday. she also has an evaluation on oct 12 and court on oct 25th to so if she qualifies for diversion. I was extremely nice to her. I let her take 5 hours to pack up and call people before she left. I told her is she checked herself into detox and stayed there for a few days she could come home as long as she is not using. She is going back to stripping and is going to live in a cheap motel. I dont know what to say. I haven't been functioning much. My depression is so intense that i can feel it pulling me down to the ground. my heart break feels like its literally shutting my body down! She left last night, and i just have to let go. You know its been almost 3 years now, and we are no closer to helping her.

For her to use the second she gets out only shows me shes not ready and jail was no where close to her bottom. Im scared because she met 2 heroin addicts in jail that are never planning on quitting and are street whores. I am hoping since her entire family is not in her life anymore and shes living in her car/ motel she will turn it around. Although, i have my doubts we posses anytime of good luck. I dread the call i fear could be around the corner. I am going to go climb back in bed and hopefully never wake back up!
 
hi cory, ive bin off line 4 bit. Sorry 4 ur pain. well, wot can i say. i hope every1 who's posted incl experienced heroin users ex users have given u the variety of choices she wud make wen she got out. i don't feel she made a choice, heroin seems 2 do it for people! they seem 2 take their hearts and brains out. but...they can come back completely, amazingly. u need 2 put u and ur immediate family etc, apart from her, 1st now. u've bin there 4 her and understood more and bin understanding. its up 2 her now. god has strange unexpected ways of turnin things round at the right time. i know this from experience. you have done right as u can so i suggest u put it in his hands now or ask the universe 2 takeover.
 
hye man all i can say is you are one good parent and you did all you can do.
 
Draigan said:
lol dude what the fuck are you talking about? Was there like some post under mine or something?
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Thats happened to be before and I didn't even have the common sense to consider someone may have posted after me and got it deleted, and I went off on the poster feeling like a complete asshole afterwards when I found out.

I hate when that shit happens but I'm pretty sure he wasn't refering to you...
 
hey cory, I've been following this thread since you posted it. I've read all the posts from your other 2 threads as well and I just wanted to say that she is lucky to have a father as great as you. You've done everything in your power that you possibly could. Unfortunately she seems like she needs that "rock bottom" realization. I'll continue to follow this thread and I sincerely do hope that your daughters life as well as yours turn around for the better. Best of luck man just stay strong man.
 
Draigan said:
lol dude what the fuck are you talking about? Was there like some post under mine or something?
Click to expand...

Yeah, Draigan, just now revisited this thread. My post was directed at some asshole who did what I said: some vapid crap and a post to sell some shit. Mods did delete it. Sorry for the mix-up. Thanks, Bo for keeping an eye on that.

Corey, just checking back in. Hope everything's going as well as it can be. Stay strong and I wish you the best.
 
icelated said:
Thank you everyone for posting. The day she got out of jail she relapsed. she called someone to come and bring her a bag. It took me a few days to catch her. I kicked her out. she is on supervised release and has to call her PO every monday. she also has an evaluation on oct 12 and court on oct 25th to so if she qualifies for diversion. I was extremely nice to her. I let her take 5 hours to pack up and call people before she left. I told her is she checked herself into detox and stayed there for a few days she could come home as long as she is not using. She is going back to stripping and is going to live in a cheap motel. I dont know what to say. I haven't been functioning much. My depression is so intense that i can feel it pulling me down to the ground. my heart break feels like its literally shutting my body down! She left last night, and i just have to let go. You know its been almost 3 years now, and we are no closer to helping her.

For her to use the second she gets out only shows me shes not ready and jail was no where close to her bottom. Im scared because she met 2 heroin addicts in jail that are never planning on quitting and are street whores. I am hoping since her entire family is not in her life anymore and shes living in her car/ motel she will turn it around. Although, i have my doubts we posses anytime of good luck. I dread the call i fear could be around the corner. I am going to go climb back in bed and hopefully never wake back up!
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This post broke my heart cause I'm in the same situation your daughter is minus the legal trouble. I feel so bad because my dad is in counciling because I make him so depressed with my addiction. I try to stay away from him for that reason, but it doesn't seem to make him feel any better.

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry to you and to my dad. Your daughter probably feels terrible, and I'm sure she is very sorry for the pain she is causing you. My heart goes out to your family.
 
hello lifeguardsleeps its nice 2 hear the other side of this in a way, albeit it from anotha person. i think thats gr8 about bluelight we can all find different sides of a problem personal + relevant to us - and r joinin in can help us and others too sumhow. its nice 2 no how the addict feels in this kinda situation
 
this father should win dad of the year!!!

i just wish i could slap some sense into that girl of yours!!

i am heartbroken just readin some of it... i myself was never a heroin addict (have tried few times) but just quit drugs over a month ago. i was having a bad week as it was and then woke up one day and thought ''enough of this shit''.

part of me had already been thinkin about quitting, i heard my mates/dealer TALKING about wantin to quit in a late night rant and then i ran into the first guy i ever done cocaine with. he looked like shit.
 
kuuhkuuh said:
have to agree, your approach seems as sensible and thought through as can be in such a difficult situation.

dont have much to contribute her, this is an extemely intense and complex thing and addiction is not easy to deal with, not even if the addict is willing to come off.
but just in case, for the future methadone programs, low-dose naltrexone, ibogaine and kratom have helped various friends of mine to cope with it, to either live with a habit that is not destructive (kratom and methadone) or to get clean if normal rehab does not work (which it usually does not the first times) low-dose naltrexone and ibogaine. maybe you could look into that beforehand and just keep it at the back of you mind.

i wish all the best for you. i'm sure that she is not satisfied with the situation either and that there is something inside her driving her crazy as well. eventually, all of us just want to be happy and addicts often loose sight of reality and of what makes them 'really' happy by temporary numbing these emotions. this is more true for excessive use than for anything else, though.

all the best.
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I would really think hard about using something like ibogaine to get off opiates. Id say try what's usually used for opiate addiction before trying anything like that.
 
Hi, I'm not new to the BL forum; however, I am new to posting here. I made this account over a year ago (I didn't remember until I tried to register a new one), but never used it to post. This thread has changed that. I've never read anything that caused me quite as much heart-ache as this.

To begin, although I've managed to avoid the hard drugs (IV, heroin, crack), I've always managed to let my parents down and put them in a similar situation to that which the OP is going through.

My uncle (a pharmacist) died from an Oxycontin overdose,and sure enough in college I found myself experimenting with OCs and almost any other opiate besides heroin and hydromorphone. At this point in time I had developed an addiction, one which my parents were aware of because I am able to talk openly with them. They know that I have used acid well over a hundred times, that I used to sell pounds of mushrooms out of their tenant house, that I've been smoking weed since I was 15 and even that I was using pills from the pharmacy I had worked at.

They had threatened to kick me out of my apartment (being paid for on their time) for some period of time up to this point, each time I would test their limits and each time they failed to act. This didn't matter much to me, as I knew I could support myself peddling drugs for petty money.

What it took for me to clean up my act was seeing my mom distraught and in tears with my father helpless to keep his family stable and happy. I just realized how selfish I was. He had supported me for my whole life unquestioningly and here I was making his wife cry and there was nothing he could do about it. I didn't stop using drugs completely. I still haven't; yet, I did stop the harder drugs. It wasn't easy, and while some might say that there isn't even a comparison as I wasn't IVing the drugs, I would argue that oral/intranasal opiates are nearly as addicting but lack the rush.

Regardless, I just wanted to say that you are on the right track. I understand why you feel so helpless, unfortunately this is something your daughter has to decide for herself. If I were you I would recommend doing whatever possible to make her realize how much she is hurting your family and how unfair it is to you. I'm sure you already have and I'm sure this might sound cruel, but sometime it takes an emotional revelation to change your habits.

Also, I would recommend that you have your daughter read this thread. Maybe it will give her a different perspective on the issue at hand. I know when I was dealing with this I thought of my parents as selfish for imposing their beliefs on me. It sounds stupid now, but when you are a user it makes perfect sense.

Sorry for the long post. If anyone has the OP's E-mail address I would appreciate it if you could provide me with his address through a PM. I would really like to at least write him a message reassuring him that he DID NOT make the wrong decisions. He did everything in his power to help his daughter.

Your daughter is in my thoughts,
Noah
 
hi noah (above post) . just wanted 2 say hello and that i think it can be helpful for the op (corey) 2 hear from other users/x users who have been in a way in his daughter's position to give her view in a way. and therefore how it mite pan out. everyone seems to have concluded thru this that she will have to find her own way in her own time and that corey has done the right thing by her so far, and certainly thru this recent episode. we know its been really personally challenging for him - so i think long as he knows that and that we are still here for him - quite a lot of us thinking about him, his family and particularly his daughter i think that's great support, i hope , for him. u pointed out that ur dad felt out of control like the safe happy family he had dreamt of i gess suddenly seemed to be spinning out of his control and out of the safe nurturing protectiveness he sought to give it -suddenly becoz of ur actions. and ur dad cudn't do much about it and must have felt so angry maybe and helpless. my dad felt that wen i started kicking around w my now fiance then a heroin user which sent my family into a chaos it had never experienced. largely coz they tried to prevent our relationship which clearly was longterm meant to be. that loss of control for fathers drives em crazy i think coz they believe they need to be able to control to protect. there is another way - of trust and believing Good will come out - in the end. but it takes a lot of trust - and its a different, newer way of being. not easy but does bring more peace. if u can trust.
 
Sorry to see all this. I dabbled in heroin myself for a year or so in the early 2000s. Never really got the hold on me that it has on some people even though I had serious reasons to be depressed at the time. Only really enjoyed it for the first 2-3 weeks when it felt like being in love, etc. Then it got to feeling more like a boring sedative and I didn't really enjoy it that much. I would actually stop using for 10 days in a row without any problem, even after using for 4-5 months, though I was using daily for most of that time. Then I went through two withdrawals and lost a lot of money, nearly got myself arrested, etc. and just decided it wasn't worth all that crap. These days it just doesn't do it for me at all anymore, I get far more pleasure out of Kratom extracts. Guess some of us are more lucky. I was never a needle junkie, though, I was only a snorter, and never really lived the junkie lifestyle.

But this situation isn't as inevitable as she currently thinks, there are other options for her, she just can't see them right now. If I were you, and knowing how addicts work, I would get her to substitute in some way to begin with. Doesn't sound like detoxing and staying clear forever is really in the cards for her, even if it's what you want. Got to be some other way to keep her happy than being a needle junkie. You say she hasn't responded to methadone, etc. but that is only because she has the better choice there, if that was taken away from her she would be satisfied with any opiate she could get. For me, it was always a bitch to score so I was happy to leave it all behind, didn't want to become a part of that whole environment. Street drugs is a scary scene, as I'm sure you well know, and why you want to get her out of it. Anything can happen, really, so much crazy shit happened to me the few times I went in to score (bought large amounts at a time to avoid it).

Just had a thought that she might be able to relate to as a woman. You say she's beautiful and I'm sure she takes pride in her looks. Show her some before and after pictures of some experienced needle junkies if you can find them. Ruining your veins and health in that way is the single most destructive thing a woman can do to her looks and in 10 years time she might find that no man wants to touch her. She's still young and hasn't been using for that long so it hasn't really made a dent in her appearance besides from making her look unhealthy yet.
 
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