Embarassing sex stories...

was fucking my ex in her asshole, no lube.,,,

pulled out after i came...

she said oh shit...

i saw shit and semen on my dick for the first time in my entire life....hopely last time too...
i had to keep it cool other wise she wouldnt let me put it back in her pooper :) so i was kind
 
k this doesnt sount great when compared to some of these others but me and my ex were at my parents cabin at a lake so we take my uncles boat up the lake to find a secluded spot to get nasty. well after doing pretty much everything possible in this boat we pop our heads up to see that there is another boat like 20 feet away with these older guys fishing.... im sure they must have known what was up when i get up with my swim trunks on and turn the boat on and start driving away meanwhile my ex is too embarassed and stayed lying naked on the floor of the boat till i got the fuck out of there. i couldnt help myself from waving to them as we passed within 5 feet of their boat on the way out of the little area we had found. we had a real good laugh after getting further down the lake though. ahh good times
 
One time I was getting sucked off and blew a huge load in my ex's mouth and she choked and cum shot out of her nose. She started crying, and I couldn't stop laughing. At least I got mine though.
 
^Liar!


...and by "sucked off and blew a huge load in your ex's mouth" you mean jack off in your parent's basement to midget porn?
 
dshock said:
^Liar!


...and by "sucked off and blew a huge load in your ex's mouth" you mean jack off in your parent's basement to midget porn?
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No, they don't have a basement, and the correct term is "little people" porn.



Seriously though, I would have given anything to have a camera that day. I would probably turn it into a poster.
 
Me and my ex were fucking out the front of them round bars that look like huts in Thailand at about 3am when we thought no one was there. We were on a plastic chair going at it and the thing just collapsed. That doesn't sound too bad but the worst part was we heard a few people start laughing at us =(

We ended up walking down to the beach to finish there =)
 
Not any embarassing stories here, but many entertaining ones, I'll share a drug related one.
Met a random dude at a house party, and after drinking lots and lots of microwaved (I don't know why) alcohol and going for a smoke together he says I wish we had some weed, and I invited him back to mine for a smoke as I had some at home, with nothing sexual in mind.
Obviously very drunk at that point, we realise we don't have any king size skins and we're both too drunk to walk to the shop (a 5 minute walk), so we decided to stick some small rizlas together with glue stick for some reason. After 2-3 glue spliffs, the glue kicked in, so I started laughing uncontrollably during sex, which freaked him out a lot. Not that funny, kind of the you have to be there to laugh thing.
However, its been over a year now and even though we got together and broke up, we're still sleeping together :( And smoke glue-laced spliffs for old times' sake..
 
nowonmai said:
and I've gone down on a girl who was on, and didn't tell me... the following morning, walked into the kitchen to get some juice, and everyone just STARED at me.. I was clueless until I looked in the mirror.. not pretty
[ 26 June 2002: Message edited by: nowonmai ]
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oh man that had me dying!!

=D
 
I had spent the night doing coke with a bunch of girls I worked with, I was fortunate enough to be the stock boy/security guard at fairly high end clothing store, with my being the only straight male, and many beautiful girls to work with. Well, I went home with a girl named connie, and I had been so jacked up on coke I dont know what the hell I was going to do with her. I was suddenly about to do one of the things I love to do most and go down on here, just just at that breif second before tongue reached clitoris, she thankfully said "Im sorry, I almost forgot to tell you, I have gential herpes and a flair up taking place now"

Now imagine the paranoia of cocaine, induced with the horror of almost a life time face full of herpes, butt ass naked in Oct in Manhattan running out of the apartment, not knowing whthere to do do another bumpo, laugh cry or scream, but baby it was cold out side. =D
 
Now this isnt very embarasing. Well it is kinda but it was when i lost my virginity with this lass (obviously). And i got on top finding this hole ya know. Finally got the fucker inn. Half way through she started just talking to me n not being intimate or passionate at all. So in my head i was thinking do i carry on and wait until i cum or just stop. But that isnt all phase 2 was anitiated and for sum fuckin crazy reason she started talking about different guys she had sex with while havin sex with me. But yer, being the desperate virgin i carried on. But it never caused any indepth crazy issues so its all good.
 
Ahh man these are funny! I must have a few i'm forgetting but the most recent embarassment is the only that stands out...

I was in bed with the host of the party 'H' i was drunk & cumming wasnt coming easy. So this hot venezuelan girl 'S' comes walking in not really aware we were fuckin (i think), she say's "You two alright?" & for some reason i blurted out that we could use a little help! Well needless to say H wasn't happy & shouted "S get out!" & she left. I kinda turned my head expecting a nasty slap but no she just jumped right back on me! She was moody after tho, so i slide my jeans back on & return to another room where some others are drinking & smoking i collpase into a chair exhausted, put my feet up on my friend k's lap only to see a rubber sticking out the end of my trouser leg!
 
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I have one of those "too fucked up to be made up" stories:

I was at a party and this couple showed up that none of us really like because they have a tendency to get drunk and have sex in random places (which is creepy, unsanitary and annoying). Sure enough, they drink a ton and we see them walking upstairs hand in hand. After like 15 minutes we heard a blood curdling scream from upstairs so we all run up to make sure everything is ok....

I shit you not:
He had started eating her out and threw up on her girly bits and passed out. She was so disgusted by this, she threw up. The sight of this made two of the people who ran in the room throw up.

It was fucking grossssss.
 
Missalynn said:
I have one of those "too fucked up to be made up" stories:

I was at a party and this couple showed up that none of us really like because they have a tendency to get drunk and have sex in random places (which is creepy, unsanitary and annoying). Sure enough, they drink a ton and we see them walking upstairs hand in hand. After like 15 minutes we heard a blood curdling scream from upstairs so we all run up to make sure everything is ok....

I shit you not:
He had started eating her out and threw up on her girly bits and passed out. She was so disgusted by this, she threw up. The sight of this made two of the people who ran in the room throw up.

It was fucking grossssss.
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JESUS 8o
 
haha best thread, so i was about 14 and im butt naked about to get my first bj when my older borther runs in my room and tells me that my dog is running away and when i asked him if he could do me a favor and go get him he said no his lucky charms would get soggy. Fucking bastard haha we laugh about it to this day another time
 
missjane said:
we were at the supermarket when i picked up one of those spray cans of whipped cream and held it up to my new bf, winked and said what do u think about having some fun with this? :p he replied alright lets go...we get home we get naked and i strategically and artistically proceed to cover his naked body with whipped cream.....i followed this with about 30mins of licking and slurping it off of his body (of course paying extra attention to the good bits) well he WAS impressed. ok, my turn so i lay down and he leaves no pink bit uncovered, right down to swirly bits on my nipples he creates a masterpiece! he puts the can down leans toward me takes one lick and says YUK how can you eat that its horrible! and there i was left laying in a bed of cream with no one to lick it off me :(
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That is the most heartbreaking story ive ever heard in the bedroom ): What ever happened to good ol bedroom ettiquite? There are much worse tasting things to lick than whipped cream =D
 
Not really embarrassing for me but......

Try inserting a chocolate button between your significant others buttcheeks while she/he is sleeping.

Observe the panic when she wakes up, notice the surrupticous sneaking off to the bathroom.

Laught heartily at their (perceived) misfortune :)
 
couldnt get it up and the girl i was with said i was gay and that i should just come out and admit it.

She fcuked my head up bigtime.
 
Having sex with my ex once, i tied him to a chair and blindfolded him, halfway through the chair broke (I'm not fat! It was just rather rough.) It completely collasped. My flatmates came running in, and in the end I had to take him to A+E. He broke his arm and sprained his ankle :D
 
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