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Drugs around children?

Re: KIDS TAKING DRUGS?

shakra said:


so all of you people who take your kids to events.. you may be opening them to new experiences.. but we all managed to wait until a more reasonable age... what on earth can an 8 year old possibly have to gain from being surrounded by drug users at dance parties/doofs etc...

NOTHING!
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have you been to a doof? because if you have you wouldn't be so judgmental hey. doofs are not based soley on drugs. They are based on music, freedom, individuality, community, peace and love (as hippy shit ramble as that sounds) Drugs that are used are not in the open. People are not that fucked up.

What about parents who use presription drugs all the time and get hooked on those? anti-depressants, steroids, valium , pain killers and what not?

fuck it...i really can't be bothered anymore. people can't see the bigger picture and are ONLY focosing on the bad and i know what i'm doing is right because it's working and that's all there is to it.
 
doofqueen: Although I don't agree with you exposing your son to events where there is so much blatant, rampant drug use, I could understand if you took him there and didn't have drugs yourself while there. There is nothing wrong with teaching kids from a young age about drugs in a responsible harm reduction fashion, after all if you ignore the issues that doesn't make them go away. Therefore there is not much harm in taking them to parties if it is to enjoy the music, the outdoors, and the festival atmosphere. However what I want to know is does your son ever see you on drugs? Do you have drugs at parties?
 
anna! said:
Anna...no offense but you have only been a mother for seven months. It gets easier and harder at the same time as your child grows and matures and you have no idea what dealing with a young mind is like(compared to a baby). You also have a partner to help you raise a child. (that does help...having a second pair of hands and another opinion)


Trust me, I'm not going to decide to take drugs in front of my child or take her to events where drugs will be taken just because she's 5, or 10, or 15. I don't see what the length of time I've been a mother for has to do with my opinion - are you going to have a dig at the people in this thread who haven't been parents ever? I have some idea of what dealing with a young mind is like (I worked in a kindergarten for some time), but as my baby grows and matures I'll learn - and in learning, I won't decide that taking drugs in front of her is a good idea. Because in my opinion, it isn't.

Having a partner has absolutely nothing to do with what this thread is about. So he doesn't take drugs in front of her as well - what's your point? This isn't about you, stop trying to make it about you.
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I don't take drugs in front of my child and i wasn't digging at you, i was just pointing out that dealing with a baby and dealing with an eight year old is a different story and that parenting isn't something you can just all of a sudden me an expert on just because you all of a sudden become a parent. As far as digging at anyone in the thread who isn't a parent i personally believe that they really don't know what they are talking about because it comes down to actually living that life and having the experience ie something like "when you walk a mile in my shoes etc" but by all means i'm not saying their opinion is not worth stating. I just find it funny that people can be quick to dismiss or judge something when they really don't know anything about the situation.

I'm not making this thread about me. Just because i have very strong beliefs on the subject and i am referring to my own situation as an example doesn't mean i'm making it about me *sigh* It just pisses me off that people who are not in my situation can pass judgement on something that is very important to me...my childs welfare.

And having a partner does make a big difference and has got something to do with the thread. It takes a villiage to raise a child and it's damn hard trying to make life desisions for someones life without support.

I'm assuming all the parents that have spoken in this thread have had their party time, their drug time usuage and are over it and are settling down and what not? Well i haven't. I've only just gotten a social life back in teh last two years or so and my drug experimentation started then aswell. I'm not over drugs as yet. I'm sure i will be one of these days. I don't do coppiouse ammounts of drugs on a regualar basis and i don't "expose" my child to a drug lifestyle. why is no one undersatnding where i am coming from?
 
What about parents who use presription drugs all the time and get hooked on those? anti-depressants, steroids, valium , pain killers and what not?


What about them? This thread isn't called "Drugs ONLY AT DOOFS around children". I take valium for my panic attacks only when someone responsible (hubby, my Dad, my sister, etc) is around to make sure Georgia is safe and happy. If no one is around, I put her in a safe spot (like her cot) and ride it out (without medication). And that's for a medical reason only. I don't agree with people taking prescription drugs recreationally around children any more than I agree with people taking acid or pills or whatever around children.

The bigger picture is - no one can tell you what to do, and no one should tell you what to do. You take your son to doofs, other people lock their kids inside until they're 16. And that's fine, no one knows exactly what parenting should or shouldn't be, it's all learning. But the general consensus is that exposing kids to things like drugs and people under the influence of drugs is an unnecessary evil. And I have been to many doofs, and I'm still going to agree with what shakra said.
 
/me reads the thread....
/me decides not to post her opinion on the matter but says this....
*hugs her boy*
 
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Anna when did i say this thread was about drugs at doofs? you seem to be personalising it for me :\

I'm sorry the valium comment struck a cord, i had no idea. I was just using it as another example of a different type of drug that is abused alot and because it's legal isn't looked down upon and is forgotten about.
 
And in reply to the most recent thread of yours, doofqueen -

and that parenting isn't something you can just all of a sudden me an expert on just because you all of a sudden become a parent


I never ever ever claimed to be an expert, quite the opposite. I do what I think is best for my bubba, and I only know what I learn along the way. No one is an expert on parenting, as I said in my last post. I think it's really unfair of you to imply that my opinion is worth less than yours because my child is younger.

And having a partner does make a big difference and has got something to do with the thread. It takes a villiage to raise a child and it's damn hard trying to make life desisions for someones life without support.


It's not easier to make decisions just because someone else is there. I haven't been in a single parent situation so I don't know what that's like, but arguing over fundamental parenting choices isn't easy. Having said that, the decision to have no drug taking in front of our kid was absolutely, totally, 100% unanimous. And that's that, there's no reason to bring single parenting into this as well. You're not a victim, stop acting like one.
 
i'm not acting like a victim, i'm not making this thread about me, i'm not personalising it...like i said i am adding my experiences as examples to the disscussion at hand and trying to get my point across and my views to be at least understood if not accepted.

I never said your opinion was worth less, please show me where i did. I said that you haven't been parenting very long so you don't understand the full extent as to what i am dealing with day to day and it's easier to talk about this subject when you have a baby to deal with (only psyhical needs) as opposed to a child that is more grown up and have to deal with emotional, social and intelligence issues aswell.

So...party days for you guys are over yes? That in itself is a big difference between our lives....i'm not making excuses, again i'm just comparing that our lives are very different for very different reasons and am trying to get you all to see that.
 
(For the record, babies don't only have physical needs :) Especially when they're teething! They need cuddles!)

Then you open up a whole new can of worms, which is - when you become a parent, should your party days be over, at least until your child(ren) are more self-sufficient? Say, 12 or 14 or so?

I'm too sick/fluey to have an opinion on that just at this second, but it's another interesting debate.
 
of course babies need cuddles and what not (i've been there ;) ) Maybe i didn't say what i wanted to say right and you mis-interpreted.

So when you become a parent your life stops? No more fun? My son goes to his father's every fortnighty weekend to spend time with him because we are not together anymore and i get 'me' time and don't have to play the mum role.I'm supposed to sit at home and read? :\

I'm 25 years old and like i said only have gotten mu social life back in the two years or so because i had my child at sixteen years of age and when it was time to party i was changing nappies...i'm not allowed to go and enjoy myself now? Are you implying that you can not be a good parent while having an active social life?
 
No, of course not. That's not my opinion on the debate at all (as I said, I'm too tired/sick to state it right now). It's just an interesting question - and would be especially interesting to compare our thoughts to our parents' thoughts and their parents' thoughts.
 
doofqueen said:
Are you implying that you can not be a good parent while having an active social life?
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Not at all, you can do both quite well - I just do my socialising on the weekends that I don't have my son. You make it sound like you have no choice, that you have to take you son in order for you to have a social life. If you don't, you are restricting your social life? - but in reality you don't have to.
 
No quite the opposit i go out on the weekends when my son goes to his dads and when i do have him i actually INCLUDE him in my life and not work him around it...where the hell did you get that idea from? :\
 
How do you mean exactly though? My son IS my life, there is no way i see him as an inconvinience to my social life. That's a little insulting haste, i did not expect that from you of all people :(
 
There's no need to jump to the defense, everyone is going to have a different opinion on this topic, it's a touchy one.

Doofqueen I guess there are people here who are going to have a different opinion and have different ways on how to bring up their children, which is life I guess. I probably wouldn't do things the way you've done them, but that's just me. I haven't had to go through what you've had, but from what you've said here I think so far you haven't done too bad a job. :)

I don't think anyone is saying you're a bad mother at all.
 
i may seem a little defensive but from what most people have said in this thread can you really blame me? I understand where everone is coming from and i respect their views on it (parents or otherwise) I just wish the same respect back is all (just like you gave me pekkie...it's very much appreciated :) ) The only thing that really got to me was Haste implying that i see my son as a disturbance in my life. i found that personally hurtful.
 
doofqueen said:
How do you mean exactly though? My son IS my life, there is no way i see him as an inconvinience to my social life. That's a little insulting haste, i did not expect that from you of all people :(
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I am discussing DQ - I'm not suggesting your son is an inconvience, sorry if my post sounds that way - it was more a statement of the impression I got that you felt trapped. Obviously you don't, so its my mis-understanding. It was never my intention to insult you in anyway - like I've said previously, I repsect all parents - its not an easy job

I'm also retiring from this thread before I put my foot in it again ;) Its getting too personal for my liking
 
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I know this thread is not about doofqueen but i wanted to say this anyway :)

I've only met doofqueen recently but have been takin notice of her posts for sometime on here and oztrance. Her son is clearly her best friend, and she has had 8 years experience of being a mother and shaping him into the little darlin he is today. No i haven't personally met him but doofqueen has openely told me what he is like and others have said how beautiful is on forums. Just talking to doofqueen i could tell how much of a genuine person and mother she was and i automatically new how gooder job she has done raising her kid just from the person she was. I also know that she would also not rush off to take her kid to a party like earthcore at only age 8, which many people seem to think is a reflection of what all doofs are like. I am happy seeing kids in places where people have been taking drugs if it's a small doof and an environment that is suitable for a kid. I have had heaps of fun dancing with heaps of kids at day parties, and i think hte atmosphere is perfect for kids. The reason i think this debate is centred around doofs is because they can create spaces that are suitable for kids, and i never feel this is the cases with raves. One has to be a very good parent to be able to take a kid to a doof and look after them and make sure it's a space that is suitable and not scary. :)

peace and love
MIck
 
Also another interesting story.......

I was at the botanical gardens the other week tripping on a small dose of mushroom tea. A guy came out of no-where with some kids and we had a chat. he seemed like a reasonably switched on man who was very nic and chattable. When his kids where off playing he asked if i had a little pot to spare, since i was on the shrooms i was feeling generous and give him the rest of my weed for free. He made show i did not do it when his kids or his friends where near.

Soon afterwards a lady came up (who i thought was a friend or family) and asked me if i gave him pot.... she seemed like someone who had not tried pot and was speaking of it like it was a hard rug, so i lied and said no. She kept asking though and insisted that it was for his health, i got concerned and under the weight of the shrooms, i splurted out that i did give him some.

She told me that he had just got out of a mental hospital, was meant to be spending the day with his kids but was running around trying to score pot.

She then walked off and we moved on, without getting to go back and explain some things (the shrooms again effected my decision).

It made me sad that he might have been in that hospital just for drug use and that that situation could have jepordised his link to his kids. I got sad because this was during christmas and i saw about 10 large groups that day getting pissed in the sun with their kids running around. THis man seemed very nice and his drug was just a different of choice. Yeh he shouldn't have been asking for weed but it was just in a friendly chat and it was not like he even cared if i had have said no.

WHo knows, very weird situation, interesting story though :D
 
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