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Drugs around children?

You're right anna! - my apologies.

But what you have said does sound like you are living your life to be prepared for the worst, which isn't a bad thing, I guess, it's just not a way I would want to lead my life.

I also do not believe that being slightly "altered" means you will not be able to cope with any issue that may arise - in fact it may help to be calm in a crisis.

Once again, apologies for my retort, but the "tone" of your post got to me.
 
I think one thing we all have to think about too is the fact that recreational drugs are illegal. If you have kids and get charged or arrested for drug use, that brings up all kinds of issues that will affect your children's upbringing.

Another thing to think about is; parents who are way out of control on whatever (be it drugs or alcohol) look stupid. I lost all respect for my parents when I used to see them severely drunk and I never got over that, even as an adult.

Anna! - you're the kind of parent I wish I'd had.

Note. I am far more anti alcohol for parents than drugs, probably due to my upbringing. It all depends on that I think.
 
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It's getting hard to keep up.

A child is a precious thing and as parents you do your best to make sure they stay safe and grow up to be good people that have the skills to go out there and make their own life, you don’t take risks with children.
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You can't protect them from everything. There are choices you make to allow some freedoms and not others. Sometimes shit happens and one can blame the parents for allowing that freedom, and maybe it wouldn't have happened if there were tighter controls but then something else could happen because of those controls.

As a parent, they are the decisions you need to make, and each has it's benefits and drawbacks. i don't think you can say one is right or wrong (except for extremes).

I commented before on indulging without being wasted. I agree someone off thier face is not a good sight to see and I remember as a kid thinking the alcoholic friend of the family was a sad sight - maybe that's why I rarely get wasted.

My friends that have the least control of substance usage are those that had the strictest upbringing.
 
*sunflower* has tounched on a point that many of us have neglected - drugs being illegal and the penalties for possesion that they carry. Whether we agree with it or not, its a reality. - good point!

You can't protect them from everything
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True, but some things carry obvious risks that can be avoided, or at least the chance of incidence decreasing - I guess its about taking steps in harm minimisations.
 
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You can't protect them from everything. There are choices you make to allow some freedoms and not others. Sometimes shit happens and one can blame the parents for allowing that freedom, and maybe it wouldn't have happened if there were tighter controls but then something else could happen because of those controls.


But I don't think doing drugs in front of your kids is really "allowing freedom". Letting your kids do drugs is different. My beef isn't with having kids doing drugs. You're a parent, I'm a parent and our parenting styles are going to differ, but that's not what I'm talking about. Allowing your kids some freedom is different from allowing yourself the freedom to expose them to something illegal and often dangerous.

I think it depends on what age group we're talking about too. My problem is with safety and control - because my daughter is 7 months old, so if something were to happen to me, she couldn't do anything to help herself - she's completely dependent at the moment. 8 year olds, for example, are more likely to be able to get themselves out of a bad situation (like a fire). But then again, they're also more easily influenced and are still at an age when they hold their parents in high regard and tend to mimic what they do and believe they know everything. 18 year old kids are more likely not to give a shit, or already be doing drugs themselves anyway. And at that age, it's not so much your own responsibility to make sure they're safe all the time as it is theirs.

Am I making any sense at all?
 
I was making that comment in regards to pschokittens remark about kids walking home from school.

As for drug use, my children do not know I use drugs, and as I said using drugs does not mean losing control - do you frown upon having a few glasses of wine when kids are around.

You are making sense but I do not agree with you. I am no less able to cope with an emergency than someone who hasn't smoked a joint.

I also understand Haste's comment about harm minimisation but to what extent do you take that approach.
 
Originally posted by quiet roar
You can't protect them from everything. There are choices you make to allow some freedoms and not others. Sometimes shit happens and one can blame the parents for allowing that freedom, and maybe it wouldn't have happened if there were tighter controls but then something else could happen because of those controls.

Of course you can’t protect your kids from everything but look at it this way: I plan to be open with my kids about my drug usage, I plan to educate my teenagers but I don’t want my 4 year old around a bunch of trippers and there’s no way I’ll take drugs in front of my 6 year old, I don’t want my 10 year old drinking, I won't be pilling with my 15 year old (but be damn sure they'll know all about testers and probably be signed up here if it's still around) and I’ll probably still have trouble offering my 18 year old a line.

I’m not going to hide it from them, I’m not going to lock them away so they can’t experience life but I’m also not going to thrust experience with drugs (even second hand) upon a young child. We’re not talking teenagers here, we’re talking children.

My friends that have the least control of substance usage are those that had the strictest upbringing.

Too true, it's the same in my experience :)

I recognise there needs to be a balance and hey, we’re human, we all screw up but with children you don’t hope for the best, you slug your guts out to achieve it and sometimes you make the wrong choices, sometimes the right ones. I don’t plan to be strict; I just don’t want my children around drugs when they should be still playing with toys.

I wouldn't let them play around an unfenced pool without supervision, I won't put them in the company of people who are extremely high.

Wouldn't you know, one of the most interesting threads to come round in a while and my home computer is playing screwy games :\ I'll have to catch up tomorrow =D
 
My brief view: If I had kids (not planning to soon), I'd want them to respect me. Therefore any behaviour I displayed to them would have to reinforce that respect. That's the grounds on which I'd base the decision to take drugs, or not, in front of my kids.

I think everyone has the choice to raise their kids as they see fit, on the proviso that they take responsibility for their children's actions until they reach adulthood. I have to make a broad generalisation and say that it was the children I knew who were raised in homes with drug use/abuse and its negative side effects of violence and chaos, who ended up with significant drug problems themselves.
 
Again, let me reiterate I do not do drugs in front of my children. Nor do I condone them being around people who are off their face. All those things you mentioned psychokitten, I agree with.

But I do not agree that when you have children you cannot do drugs. And in response to your previous post of "how do you know?" I have been smoking the same way for many many moons, so I know exactly how I will be effected. And if it's a case of coming home when coming down off a pill, again I know how I am before I face my kids. Not to mention some of my warmest moments with my kids have been Saturday mornings in the park or backyard, with the mdma residuals still in my system.
 
My brief view: If I had kids (not planning to soon), I'd want them to respect me. Therefore any behaviour I displayed to them would have to reinforce that respect. That's the grounds on which I'd base the decision to take drugs, or not, in front of my kids.
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Exactly! And respect will be attained in the way you act in front of them, not what you have taken the night before, or a couple of minutes ago in the back shed.
 
do you frown upon having a few glasses of wine when kids are around.


As I said in a previous post, I frown upon the consumption of any drug (except caffeine, and nicotine - but not if it's smoked) in the presence of my child, because if something were to happen she is completely dependent. I don't drive, and if my husband was under the influence of alcohol he'd not be able to drive either (he's only on his Ps).

But I mean, if I'm at my parents' house and my younger sister is there (she's 15), I won't frown upon my mum for having a few glasses of wine - because my sister would be able to take care of herself in an emergency situation. There have been times, though, when I've watched my mum get hideously drunk, and I found it appalling. I'd never do that in front of my kids.
 
aunty establishment said:
I have to make a broad generalisation and say that it was the children I knew who were raised in homes with drug use/abuse and its negative side effects of violence and chaos, who ended up with significant drug problems themselves.
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You said it yourself, this is a broad generalisation. People who are brought up in strict environments often have drug/alcohol problems. I know plenty of people like this. I also have friends whose parents were heavy drinkers who won't touch alcohol. The thing is, you often rebel against your parents and their lifestyle. I went through a stage of being really conservative when I was about 15/16 - all I wanted was non drinking, middle-class, strict parents like my friends seemed to have.

That said - I will agree that children can inherit (either through environment or genetics) inappropriate parenting behaviour, e.g. parents who use alcohol/drugs/violence as a coping mechanism can pass this down to their children.

This isn't always the case though. Having parents like mine can make you think twice about having your own children. I have strict values myself regarding bringing up children and don't really think I could live up to them, ironically.
 
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anna! you are again matching a few wines with being incapable of reacting to a situation.

If your sister was three days old and your mum was having a few wines that would be OK in my book as long as she wasn't drunk (or breastfeeding i guess, but you know what i mean)

I think it is inappropriate to be rolloing drunk in front of your kids at any stage of their life. Not only is it a bad example, but you will look like a fool.

Another example is when on the odd occasion through the year when me and my wife willl have half a pill each on a Saturday night while the kids are in bed. Yes, the house may catch fire and we will need to evacuate, or one of the kids may have an allergic reaction or some such problem, but we would be able to handle it because we are only mildly buzzing, and fully coherent.

And if you are at home I would allow your husband to drink (not get drunk!), because in an emergency who gives a fuck about being on P's or not.
 
I do. I think it's an unnecessary risk. I just don't see that having a drink while young children are in the house outweighs the possibility of needing to be completely sober in an emergency situation. I'm not saying it makes me a better parent than you, that's just the way I feel.

I also know the way alcohol affects my husband, and he is NOT okay to drive after two beers (feel free to laugh at him, I do).

I think that having a three day old and having a few wines is irresponsible (especially when it's coupled with sleep deprivation, baby blues, etc). I just do. That's just the way I think. But I can accept that other people worry less than I do too :p
 
PsychoKitten said:
I don’t want my 4 year old around a bunch of trippers

I’m not going to hide it from them, I’m not going to lock them away so they can’t experience life but I’m also not going to thrust experience with drugs (even second hand) upon a young child. We’re not talking teenagers here, we’re talking children.

I recognise there needs to be a balance and hey, we’re human, we all screw up but with children you don’t hope for the best, you slug your guts out to achieve it and sometimes you make the wrong choices, sometimes the right ones. I don’t plan to be strict; I just don’t want my children around drugs when they should be still playing with toys.
B]
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now see with the trippers thing i'm assuming your talking about doofs again. The way i see it is when your on acid you turn into a big kid yourself and a doof is a wonderland to a child. Everyone who i doof with i trust on acid or not. My son can't tell and he certainly isn't in any danger. If he was i wouldn't take him, i think that's kind of obvious and a bit of a given really :\ He has a crazy mum, someone who dyes her hair all different colours and has body art and piercings and looks different to all his mates mums. She sticks on her wings to gon shopping for a laugh to show him that you shouldn't give a fuck about what people think of you and you can always have fun in life and do what makes you happy. Isn't that what parenting is about? making sure your child is safe, well adjusted and happy? I do slug my guts out and i have acheieved it.

He doesnt see the drug use, he's too young to know about it. It's not like i'm rasining him in a drug environment. The whole being around drugs and not toys is a little extreme i think, it's like your saying the focus is on drugs and drugs only and they are missing parts of their childhood (the way i interpreted that to be anyway) Drugs are everywhere, you can't avoid them. All you can do is make sure they have all the info and support if they ever do want to try them because i do feel that covering it up will make their curiosity bigger about it, they will feel like they can't trust you and then go off and do it behind your back. hat sort of a parent child relationship is that? 8(

Anna...no offense but you have only been a mother for seven months. It gets easier and harder at the same time as your child grows and matures and you have no idea what dealing with a young mind is like(compared to a baby). You also have a partner to help you raise a child. (that does help...having a second pair of hands and another opinion) I am aware that everything i say and do, places i take him, people i let him come in contact with, things i choose not to show him etc will alter how he percieves the world, society and himself and who he will end up being as he grows into adulthood.

Parenting isn't the easiset job in the world. Most likely the hardest. Your shaping someone into becoming a living , breathing, thinking person in society. You do what you can. You give them rules, you give them doorways , you give them freedom and show the world to them as you see fit. It's really difficult trying to raise someone to be a healthy, happy, confident, intelligent, well aware , open minded and well balanced individual. How many adults that you all know are actually like that? It's a hard task to accomplish.

What it all comes down to is the parent making the choices for their child and doing what is best for their situation and hope that your influence has helped shaped someone who can actually live in this so called society that we live in and ultimately just be a good person. :)
 
KIDS TAKING DRUGS?

I know someone who gave their 12 year old girl a pill. At the time the kid said she stole it.. but 2 years down the track I discovered that the father gave it to her.

I think this is DISGUSTING.

I wish I could do something about it. This child is now drinking every day and God knows how often she's taking pills now... and what comes next? sex? babies at 14?

Any suggestions on how I can help this child without destroying a family? (even though their whole family are fucked up on alcohol and drugs)

This kid deserves a better chance at life... it's been killing me for years...

How do you think you would feel seeing a lovely little girl with pupils the size of 10 cent pieces? It's killing me.


The whole reason this fucked up situation came about was due to people discussing and using in front of the kid in the first place.

so all of you people who take your kids to events.. you may be opening them to new experiences.. but we all managed to wait until a more reasonable age... what on earth can an 8 year old possibly have to gain from being surrounded by drug users at dance parties/doofs etc...

NOTHING!
 
When I was young I was exposed to a lot of heavy drinking, not that I was the one doing the drinking, but most of the time it would be my Father, if not my Father then it would be one of my Uncles or one of my Cousins, you get the picture.

I remember a fair few times seeing my Father ridiculously drunk, and at the time I'd be thinking "God why does he have to act like such a wanker", because that's exactly what he would act like. Before I go on I'd just like to mention that he was / still is(?) an alcoholic. This wasn't some 18 year old going out with his mates getting blind, this was someone who was meant to be some sort of role model for me, instead the few precious times I'd get to spend with him as a child, he'd end up getting absolutely spastic, and had absolutely no control....

Now I may not have any children, nor do I plan to in the near future, but I do know one thing. I am still going to have an occasional drink, and hey if I still have drugs I'm still going to have them, just i'll be very selective about the times I plan to do them.

I don't want my children being disgusted with the sight of me, nor do I want them to watch me drink glass after glass of wine. I want them to have an open mind, but I don't want to expose them to the lovely yet horrible world of drugs. I certainly don't want them to smoke, and believe me I certainly won't be smoking, as for drinking, well I'll have a drink in front of them, but that's as far as it will go.

If my kids decide to experiment, well that's up to them, and I'll inform them of the real deal as to what I've experienced, and I'd certainly like them to be open with me about it, but I won't encourage it, hopefully they'll grow into sensible, yet open minded people, that's all I really ask for.
 
Anna...no offense but you have only been a mother for seven months. It gets easier and harder at the same time as your child grows and matures and you have no idea what dealing with a young mind is like(compared to a baby). You also have a partner to help you raise a child. (that does help...having a second pair of hands and another opinion)


Trust me, I'm not going to decide to take drugs in front of my child or take her to events where drugs will be taken just because she's 5, or 10, or 15. I don't see what the length of time I've been a mother for has to do with my opinion - are you going to have a dig at the people in this thread who haven't been parents ever? I have some idea of what dealing with a young mind is like (I worked in a kindergarten for some time), but as my baby grows and matures I'll learn - and in learning, I won't decide that taking drugs in front of her is a good idea. Because in my opinion, it isn't.

Having a partner has absolutely nothing to do with what this thread is about. So he doesn't take drugs in front of her as well - what's your point? This isn't about you, stop trying to make it about you.
 
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